It’s not funny, I know.
Eric’s voice sounds and the humor fades from me. I recognize that tone, it’s the one he used that day in the pizzeria. The day he shared his truth with me. You know, I never thought about what it might’ve felt like for him—to share such a big secret. I bet it felt like a weight had been lifted. Like he finally had someone he could share his dream with. That thought saddens me because I haven’t really been all that supportive.
Here he is, about to make the ultimate sacrifice, and he’s got no support. That’s not fair, and as I continue to listen to him confess his plans to his parents, I vow to change that. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I want to be the girl who he can count on.
The girl who welcomes him home and gives him his first real hug.
The girl who kisses him after fourteen weeks of hell.
“Okay, both of you stop,” Eric says. “There’s no need to get anyone involved because I’m not going. End of story.” There’s a pause and then his voice sounds again. “I met with a recruiter and I’ve decided to enlist in the Army right after graduation.”
I close my eyes and recall the way he looked when he told me. I picture his parents staring at him the same way I did, blankly.
“The fuck this kid just say?” Riggs growls, but no one responds. The silence is deafening, and I find myself holding my breath, waiting for someone to say something.
“You can’t be serious,” Lauren croaks.
“Don’t worry, Kitten, it’s not happening. I’ll kill him before he laces his boots. Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re not cut out for war.”
“Maybe not yet, but I will be.”
At that, goosebumps spread across my arms like wildfire.
“You can’t even take a piss without spraying the bathroom, you’re going to hold a fucking rifle? Over my dead body,” Riggs continues to roar.
“As far as the pissing thing goes, I’ll work on that too.”
“He’s kidding, right?” Lauren asks. “This is just one of those things kids say to drive their parents crazy.”
No, Lauren. He’s dead serious.
I wish he would tell them the story about the flag and how he feels whenever he looks at it, maybe then they will have a better understanding.
“I don’t know, call your mother and ask her,” Riggs suggests. “Wait—don’t do that. That’s the last thing we need.” Another pause. “Eric, tell your mom this is a joke, or so help me God if she starts crying, I’ll…well, I don’t know what I’ll do but it will be bad. Very, very bad.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. Look, I know this isn’t the future you envisioned for me, but it’s the one I want for myself. I leave in four months—well, one hundred and thirteen days to be exact. I probably should’ve told you guys sooner, but I didn’t know how to. Then Joss and Brooklyn showed up and…”
A lump forms in my throat.
“You’re serious,” Lauren murmurs, her voice crackling. “He’s fucking serious.”
“What about Brooklyn?” Riggs snaps.
I push off the wall and turn toward the living room.
Yeah, what about me?
Do you really think we can make whatever this is work?
Do you still want to try?
“C’mon, dad, that’s a cheap shot,” Eric rasps.
“Is it? A week ago, you sat in this very spot and handed me my ass, telling me I needed to back off. What happened to taking a fucking stand? You told me she mattered to you and that you wouldn’t hurt her.”
“She does matter to me!”
I close my eyes.
You matter to me too, Soldier Boy.
You matter so much.
“And I have no intention of hurting her.”
“Newsflash, kid, walking away from her after everything she’s been through, is going to hurt her.”
A week ago, I agreed with him. I feared for my heart, but now I fear the possibility of regret more.
“I gave you the benefit of the doubt because you’re my son,” Riggs continues. “I reminded myself that I was once in your shoes and I wanted to wreck anyone who stood in my way. But I get it, those people, your grandma and your uncle, they were trusting me with something they deemed precious. They didn’t want me to get close, because they feared I’d walk away. But I got the girl, son, I married her and built a life with her. I didn’t leave.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Eric hisses.
“I don’t think you know much of anything,” Riggs spats. “You can be killed out there!”
My chest tightens at those words and I immediately force them to the back of my head. Riggs goes quiet, but the next words that come from his mouth sound strained. “How can you be so cavalier with your life when you’re a fucking walking miracle?”
“That’s just it,” Eric exclaims. “I’m standing here today because of another man’s sacrifice. I have to honor that.”
At the reference to my dad, tears immediately fill my eyes. I may not have known the man who sacrificed his life for the boy in the next room, but I think it’s safe to say the honor was all his. It requires no thanks or sacrifice of his own. Bones did what he did because he wanted to. Just like Riggs didn’t hesitate to take me in, Bones would’ve stood in front of a million loaded guns. That’s just the narrative of this story. One that’s been written in the stars and carries over into a new generation with me and Eric as the leads.
“And you think you’re going to do that by risking your life? Eric, I’ve been to war, maybe not the one you’re heading to, but war, nonetheless. I’ve fought for things I believed in, and I didn’t always win. I’ve been shot at, tied up, and beaten within an inch of my life. I’ve watched the woman I love take a bullet and then I watched the man I considered to be my brother throw his body over hers. I’ve had their blood on my hands and I promise you, that’s not something you ever want to experience. It’s ugly, and it haunts you every damn day you open your eyes. That is not the life you want for yourself, and it is no way to honor a man who gave up everything for you to be here.”
“I disagree. For me, it’s the only way.”
What does that even mean? Living a beautiful life should be the way he honors my dad. Oh, Eric, what are you doing?
“You’re wrong,” Lauren cries. “You’re so wrong.”
“Look, you guys don’t have to understand my decision, or even agree with it, but I wish you would respect it. Who knows, I might even make you both proud.”
Eric and I don’t have to be apart for my heart to break, it’s already breaking for him and he’s in the next room.
“Eric, don’t walk away,” Lauren pleads.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
Realizing he’s about to exit the living room, I wipe the tears that have escaped my eyes and start for the stairs. I don’t make it very far, though.
“How much of that did you hear?” Eric calls from behind me.
Swallowing, I turn to face him. I can’t lie to him.
“All of it,” I confess.
He nods and steps closer. Lifting a hand, he touches my cheek. There is no smile. No hint of mischief or promise of fun. His emotions are raw, his soul is bare.
“Raincheck on that pizza date,” he murmurs, dropping his hand.
“Eric.”
“Not now, Brook. I can’t talk about it.”
He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to my forehead. Then he’s gone and I realize loving Eric will be like going to war myself.
Twenty
Eric
Well, that went well…not. I knew my parents wouldn’t take my decision lightly, that’s why I waited so long to tell them. But, I didn’t expect the backlash I received tonight. I didn’t expect my dad to throw Brooklyn in my face either. That one fucking stung and to make matters worse, she heard every fucking word. She heard him berate me for leaving her. It’s like every time I think we’re about to take a step forward, we take twenty back. At this rate,
I’m never going to get the girl and that’s a fucking shame because I think, together, we’d make the fucking angels sing.
And you know what else stings? The fact that my parents assume I haven’t thought this through. They have no idea that I weighed all the potential outcomes. They don’t know that I considered their feelings too. But in the end, every time I doubted myself, I thought about what Stryker told me…
A true soldier doesn’t go to war because he hates the enemy in front of him, he goes because he loves what’s behind him.
Folding my hands behind my head, I stare at the flag hanging on my wall.
It’s just me and you, Old Glory.
‘Til death do we part.
A knock sounds on my door, but unless it’s a DoorDasher bringing me food, I don’t really want to be bothered with anyone. I should’ve raided the cabinets before I descended to my dungeon. I’m lonely, feeling sorry for myself, and I’m all out of snacks to boot. I suppose it’s a glimpse into my future. I have burned all my bridges and now who the hell is going to send me care packages when I’m fighting the bad guys? I better find myself a pen pal or something. Maybe I can pay Anthony to send me snacks, he’s been an awesome employee.
“Eric, it’s me.”
Okay, so I take it back.
I really don’t mind being bothered by Brooklyn so long as she’s not visiting my lair to kick me to the curb again. I think that might throw me over the edge.
“Come in,” I call.
She opens the door just enough to poke her head inside and I sit up straight, leaning my back against the back of the pull-out.
“I come bearing snacks.”
It’s like we share one brain.
If there was any question if I could love this girl, it’s obliterated.
She pushes the door open all the way and enters with her arms full of all my favorite things. Kicking it closed, she makes her way toward the pull-out and deposits all the snacks on top of it. There are chips, beef jerky, two cans of coke, a gallon of milk and…you guessed it, Oreos. Oh, and is that a fruit roll-up? Why, yes, I think it is.
“How the hell did you carry all this shit down here?”
She shrugs her shoulders and pushes the food out of her way. Taking a seat, she blows her hair away from her face.
“It wasn’t easy, but at least I know I’m a pretty good juggler.”
I stare at her for a beat.
“Marry me and have all my babies.”
I’m kidding.
Kind of.
We’d make really cute kids.
“We might want to graduate high school before we do any of that.”
She’s got a point, not to mention I’d really like to be out of my parents’ house before I start populating the world. Imagine that family discussion.
Hey, Pops, if you thought the Army thing was bad, hold my beer.
I divert my attention to the bed, taking in the smorgasbord and lift my head to meet her eyes.
“Thanks for this,” I murmur.
“After you missed dinner, I figured you must be starving.”
“Starving is an understatement,” I say, tearing open a bag of chips. Sour cream and onion, my favorite. Yep, it’s confirmed, Brooklyn is totally wifey material. “Why are you all the way over there?” I ask, patting the empty spot beside me. As hungry as I am, I’m willing to pass on the midnight snacks if it means cuddling with my pretty little hurricane. But instead, she folds her legs under her.
“Um…that was an invitation to come closer.”
She bites her lower lip and cocks her head to the side.
That’s not the look of a girl who wants to spoon.
“I didn’t just come down here to bring you snacks, Eric.”
My good mood instantly turns to shit and I close my fist around the bag of chips as a heavy sigh escapes my lips.
“If you came here to tell me you don’t want any part of me because I’m joining the Army, you should probably go because I’ve taken about all I can take for one day.”
“I came here because you told me we have four months to figure out how to make it work and I want to know how we do that,” she replies and my gaze snaps back to her. I stare at her blankly for a minute, sure I heard her wrong.
“What are you saying, because it sounds to me like you’re telling me you want to be my girl and I really don’t want to be wrong.”
I might actually cry if that’s not the case.
Fuck, I’ve become a total pussy.
She smiles, though, sparing me the embarrassment of a meltdown.
Oh, my pretty little hurricane, if only you knew…
“That’s still on the table?” she asks sheepishly.
“It never left the table.”
“Then, yeah, Eric, that’s what I’m saying. I want to be your girl. I want to be the one who cheers the loudest at your basic training graduation and the one you run to when you’re getting off a plane after a tour. I want to be everything you need, you just have to show me how. Make me understand.”
I don’t know how to respond to that because she’s already everything I need.
“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” I say hoarsely. “But I’m going to need you to tell me what you need from me too.”
“Deal,” she whispers, holding out her hand. My gaze lowers as I slip my hand in hers, but instead of shaking it, I tug her closer. “Eric!”
“What?” I say innocently. “I think this conversation is best had if you’re sitting on my lap.”
She rolls her eyes.
“If I sit on your lap, there won’t be much talking.”
Facts.
“Fine,” I grunt. “But after the talking, your ass and my lap have a date.”
Her ass, my lap, our lips…it’s going to be one big orgy of body parts.
“Tell me why you’re joining the Army.”
Well, if that isn’t a killjoy.
We probably could’ve bypassed this part of the conversation if she hadn’t overheard me talking to my parents. Such a little eavesdropper.
“If this is about what you heard—”
“It is,” she interrupts.
Straight shooter, I like it.
She draws in a deep breath before continuing, “Look, I respect your decision, Eric. I think joining the Army is one of the most admirable things a person can do so long as their reasons are right.” She pauses and I bite the inside of my cheek as she chooses her next words carefully. “I just want you to know that you’re doing this for you because, Eric, you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to honor anyone but yourself.”
I shake my head.
“That’s not true. When the bane of your existence is based on another man’s sacrifice, you live to honor that man and that’s not something you can understand unless you’ve experienced it. I’m not joining the Army because I have some sort of death wish, Brooklyn, I’m doing it because I believe in everything it stands for. If I can make a difference in the world by protecting the people I love most and the country that I respect, then I’ve found my purpose. Your dad died so I could live. I’ve got to make my life count for something and now there are two ways I can do that. The first is the Army.”
“What’s the second?”
“You,” I reply. “Serving my country is a great honor, but being your guy is the greatest of all.”
That’s a fact.
At first, I may have confused her presence in my life as an obligation, but that’s not the case. She wasn’t sent to me because I owed her father my life. She was sent as a gift and gifts are meant to be cherished. They’re meant to be sacred.
Suddenly, she lunges for me, taking my face in her hands as she smacks her lips to mine. Whoa.
She peppers kisses across my lips and just when I’m about to respond and take her on my lap; she inches away.
C’mon!
Holding my face in the palm of her hands, she smiles so brightly at me.
“You’re my guy,
” she marvels.
“I thought we established that already,” I tease, winking at her. “I’ve been your guy since I took your mom’s bumper off, Brooklyn.”
That declaration earns me another kiss, but as I go to slide my tongue into her mouth, I learn Brooklyn means business when it comes to discussing things. She tears her mouth from mine and starts asking me about basic training and why I’m going to be away for fourteen weeks when Google told her it’s only ten weeks long. I explain that there are exceptions and after basic combat training one must complete Advanced Individual Training, both are combined when you’re specializing in infantry like I am.
She asks where I’ll be stationed for basic training and I tell her Fort Benning, Georgia. Then she whips out her phone and Googles how far that is from here by plane, train, and car. It’s cute as fuck and at the risk of sounding like a pussy again, my heart fucking swells. It damn near explodes.
The more we talk, the more I realize how much I’ve been keeping bottled up and how good it feels to finally share my plans with someone. There is no judgment, only concern—especially when I explain that an indirect fire infantryman is a member of the mortar squad and that I’ll be trained to set, load, and fire three types of mortars. Her eyes went as big as saucers and she reached for the bag of chips.
My little hurricane is an emotional eater, just like me.
As much as I didn’t want to scare her, I wanted to be completely honest with her. Nothing great is built on lies, and I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tonight we were laying the foundation to something great. So, she kept shoving chips into her mouth as I revealed I’d be locating and neutralizing land mines too.
She nearly choked at that. My bad.
After she was fully aware of what I was signing up for, we went over the logistics of everything. I told her I wouldn’t be able to call her every day, but on Sunday’s she needed to keep her phone glued to her hip.
She asks about my graduation and I reveal to her that my parents would likely receive a letter with all the details, but they usually hold the ceremony on the Thursday or Friday of the soldier’s last week of training. When a soldier specializes in infantry there is also a Turning Blue Ceremony that takes place the day before graduation.
Fight Or Flight (Tempted Series Generation 2.0) Page 16