And then there’s that crazy stuff he does with my uncles every Saturday. The first time he left with Riggs he came home exhausted and every part of his body hurt him. But he didn’t complain—not really. He knew his dad was worried about him and if teaching him how to shoot a gun brought Riggs peace, Eric was all for it.
His dedication made it even more real, but my boyfriend isn’t a soldier yet. I reminded myself of that fact this morning and gave up the fight to push him away. It’s okay to lean on him while he’s still here. At home Eric Montgomery belongs to me, when he’s there learning how to defend our country, he belongs to the Army.
I came across a prayer the other day when researching blogs dedicated to military wives and girlfriends and one verse really stuck out to me.
Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me.
We may not have said those three words out loud, but I feel them.
I feel them every time we’re together.
When he calls my name.
When he takes my hand.
I feel his love in every single kiss.
Right here and now, as I watch him rearrange the flowers in front of my parents’ grave, I feel the love. And it’s okay to let that love in, because like my mom said, love will blanket me when I need it most. When I’m sitting at this grave alone and he’s in the field, love will be the saving grace that keeps me strong for him.
Brushing the dirt from his knees, he stands and takes my hand, pulling me into the crook of his arm. I wrap my arms around his middle and stare at the ribbon on the flowers.
Happy First Mother’s Day in Heaven.
So sweet.
So thoughtful.
Perfect.
Eric presses a kiss to the top of my head before clearing his throat.
“I know you said you didn’t want to celebrate your birthday, but…” His voice trails.
Sighing, I peel my eyes away from the flowers and turn to face him. I really don’t want to celebrate my birthday. This, being here, celebrating my mom, is all I want.
All I need.
Eric reaches into the back pocket of his cargo shorts and pulls out a small white envelope. Handing it to me, he swipes a hand over his face. It’s what he does when he’s nervous. I curiously glance at the envelope and back to his face just as he drops his hand.
“What’s this?” I ask softly.
Hesitating, he bites the inside of his cheek, his eyes moving to the envelope I still haven’t taken from his hand.
“One night you were in the shower and I went to check on your mom,” he starts to reveal, lifting his gaze.
My face softens at his confession.
I think that says a lot about Eric, it proves how pure his heart is. Most nights he visited her to keep me company and spend time with me, but there were so many little moments where he did it out of the goodness of his heart. Times when I wasn’t around.
“I found her crying, and I almost turned around before she could see me, but something kept me from running. For a guy who feels helpless whenever he sees a woman cry, I forced myself to ask why she was so upset. She told me a commercial had just come across the television for the Broadway show Wicked. My mom cries over the Superbowl commercials so I didn’t think anything of it. But Joss explained how before she got sick the two of you had plans to come to New York City to celebrate your eighteenth birthday, that she was going to take you to see a Broadway show.”
My throat tightens as I recall the silly plan. We were supposed to go shopping on Fifth Avenue and to Little Italy for dinner too. It was going to be the best day.
Eric reaches behind him and cups the back of his neck.
“I don’t know what show the two of you planned to see and to be honest, I’m a little pissed at myself for not thinking to ask, but I got us tickets to see Wicked.”
Sure I heard him wrong, I stare at him and wait for him to say something else. Instead, he brings his hand away from his neck and takes my hand, flipping it over so he can place the envelope in my palm. Bending his knees, he brings us eye level.
“I’m not your mom, but she loved you with everything she was and I…well…” He pauses, dragging out a ragged breath. “I love you with everything I am, so if you’re up for it, I’d really like to take you to a Broadway show on your eighteenth birthday.” He swallows before a sheepish grin fills his face. “I promise to keep my hands to myself and let you enjoy the show too.”
This time there is no question of what he’s saying and yet, I still ask him to repeat himself. Some things in life are worth hearing over and over.
“Can you say that again?”
“I promise to keep my hands—”
“Not that part.”
He scratches his head.
“I said a lot, I even got winded.” He frowns. “That probably isn’t a good sign, but anyway you’re going to need to be more specific.”
Honoring my mom’s plans is beautiful, and I will never ever forget it, but there’s only one thing I want to hear again. One sentence I want to hear every day for the rest of my life.
“The part about you loving me.”
He grins.
“Oh, yeah, I slipped that in there too, didn’t I?”
A million emotions are running through me and tears are brimming in my eyes, but when he looks at me like he is right now, with that crooked smile and those warm blue eyes, I just want to smile. Isn’t that amazing?
“Mm hmm.”
His face grows serious, and he reaches out to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.
“You’re not surprised, are you?” he asks.
I shake my head.
Not even a little.
For a girl who was adamant about skipping her eighteenth birthday, Eric gave me the best gift of all…his heart and his love.
A smile ticks the corners of his mouth and he brings his other hand to my face. Cradling my cheeks, he bends his head and touches his forehead to mine.
“I love you, my pretty little hurricane.”
Savoring those words, I close my eyes and as a smile fills my face, I feel a tear slip from the corner of my eye.
“Oh, and one more thing!”
He releases his hold on me, and my eyes spring open. Nothing, and I mean nothing he says or does now, can make this day any more perfect.
He, himself, could not be any more perfect.
It’s like heaven can read my mind and is set to prove me wrong because Eric then pulls my mother’s locket out of his shorts.
A gasp immediately flies out of my mouth and I reach to take it from him.
Ever since I found the gold locket in the bottom of my mom’s purse, I have worn it every day except for three days ago; I was running late for school and forgot to put it on. When I got home, I immediately ran to my room to grab it, but it wasn’t on my dresser. I tore the room apart and when Eric came home from work that night, I asked him to help me go through the trash, thinking maybe I dropped it in there when I was helping Lauren clear the dishes the night before. I was devastated and everyone told me it would turn up eventually, but I still asked Riggs to call a plumber to see if I had dropped it down the drain.
Closing my fist around the dainty heart, I lift my chin and stare in awe of Eric.
“Where did you find it?”
He flinches slightly, which causes my eyebrows to pull together.
“So funny story…I sort of had it the entire time. I grabbed it from your dresser the other day when you were in the shower.”
He did what—why would he do that?
“That doesn’t make sense. You searched the garbage with me and…Eric, your dad paid a plumber to snake the drain!”
“It’s fine, I reimbursed him for the plumber.” He shakes his head. “Side note, plumbers make bank, if the Army thing falls to shit, I’m going to play with pipes.” He cocks his head. “I’m sorry, I wanted to surprise you.” Tipping his chin to the locket in my hand, he asks, “May I?
”
I don’t know if I’m angry, annoyed, shocked, or just totally in awe of him. I open my palm and he takes the locket from my hands; his big fingers fumble a bit as he tries to open it. Once he finally has the heart open, he turns it around, revealing two photos. On the left side of the locket is a photo of my parents that I’ve never seen before. If I had to guess they were around the same age as we are when it was taken and the smiles on their faces…I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. Before I can ask him where he found the photograph or who took it, my gaze wanders to the right side of the locket. I stare at the picture of me and him, and tears soon blur my vision.
“I had it engraved too,” he says, turning it around. I blink, releasing the tears and clearing my vision so I can read the words etched into the gold.
Near or far,
Together forever.
“Are you mad?”
Mad?
No.
I’m totally in love with you.
Wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands, I step closer to him.
“I’m never going to be able to beat this when it’s your birthday.”
He grins.
“So, I did good?”
“You did amazing,” I whisper, raising my hands to his cheeks. Standing on tiptoe, I cover his mouth with mine. “I love you, Eric Montgomery, so damn much,” I whisper hoarsely.
My first.
My last.
My everything.
I love you, soldier boy.
Twenty-Five
Brooklyn
After the Broadway show, we met Lauren, Riggs, and the rest of the family at Il Cortile, a restaurant in Little Italy. They sang happy birthday to me and with both parents close to my heart and my boyfriend at my side, I blew out the candles. What had the potential to be a horrible day, turned out to be one I’d never forget, and the next day, I started thinking about how I could make Eric’s birthday just as special as he made mine.
I had three weeks to knock his socks off, which seemed like plenty of time, but I didn’t have a job and in true Nicholson fashion, I hit a roadblock at every turn. I already packed my schedule between day school and night school, so nailing a job at the mall wasn’t an option. I really didn’t want to ask Riggs or Lauren to fund my birthday surprise for Eric. Doing this on my own was important to me. So, I asked him if I could work at Big Nose Kate’s on the weekends and that following weekend, I was serving wings.
Eric hated that I had taken a job because it meant I had even less time to spend with him. He had already stopped working two weeks prior because his parents wanted him home as much as possible. The clock was ticking, and we were all running out of time with our soldier boy.
The next issue I ran into came when I tried to book a room at a motel. I was eighteen, so that was not a problem, but I needed a credit card. Again, I turned to Riggs. They were still trying to enforce that whole no sleeping in the same bed rule—which, let’s be serious, was a joke. I still snuck into Eric’s bed every night and after we fooled around, I made sure to set my alarm so that I was up an hour earlier than Riggs. Anyway, back to my credit card issue, I came clean about what I was planning to Eric’s dad and twenty minutes later we had a motel room booked. I tried to give him the money for the room, but he wouldn’t take it.
“Use it as spending money for the weekend. You’re going to need it if you’re planning on feeding that beast you call a boyfriend,” he said. And honestly, he had a point.
Since Eric has nixed the snacks from his diet, he was eating twice as much at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don’t know where the guy puts it all. I stare at a cheeseburger and I look like I’m five months pregnant, but whatever. His grandma says he’s a growing boy. If he grows any more, I’m going to need a stepstool to kiss him.
I already need a bigger car.
The poor guy’s knees hit the dashboard.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” he asks, reaching over the console to touch my thigh. “You do realize we aren’t twenty-one and Atlantic City would be a total bust for us.”
Isn’t that crazy? The guy can go to war, but he can’t order a beer or pull the lever of a slot machine.
“We’re not going to Atlantic City,” I reply. “And if you keep touching my leg like that, we’re not going to make it to our destination.”
“I’m okay with that. Pull over and we can fuck like a bunch of rabbits on the side of the Garden State Parkway.”
Keeping my eyes on the road ahead of me, I grin. If Eric could have sex all day long, I think he would. He’s become increasingly insatiable as basic training draws nearer. I’m not complaining, though. I’ve become quite the fan myself and I love exploring. Sometimes I wonder if things would be different between us if we didn’t live together.
His hand inches under the hem of my shorts.
“If we crash, it’s your fault,” I say, swatting his hand away. “I promise birthday sex is on the agenda, you just need to be a little patient. We’re almost there.”
I catch a glimpse of his frown from the corner of my eye and I try not to laugh at him. He’s such a big baby when he doesn’t get his way.
“This there you speak of….is there a bed, some place comfy I can spread you out on, or are we going to be doing it in this sardine can?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” I tease. “Just a couple more exits. Tell the snake in your pants to hang in there.”
Taking my directions literally, Eric grabs hold of the impressive hard on poking through his shorts and starts talking to his ‘snake’, “Hang in there, anaconda, she says we’re almost there.”
Ten minutes later the GPS sounds in the car, instructing me to take the exit on the right to Wildwood, and my sulking soldier boy straightens beside me.
“We’re going to Wildwood?” he asks, clearly surprised.
Apparently, a weekend in Wildwood, New Jersey, is a timeless tradition to the seniors in Staten Island. No matter what High School you graduate from, whether it's private or public, the weekend after graduation you and your friends spend a weekend in South Jersey soaking up the sun and in most cases, drinking illegal booze out of red Solo cups.
Eric and I weren’t like the rest of our graduating class, though. For starters, I won’t actually get my diploma until I complete summer school—so probably August. And while he will be taking part in the actual graduation ceremony, he is scheduled to board a plane to Georgia that Sunday, completely nixing any chance of partaking in the tradition of going to the Jersey Shore.
Prom isn’t in the cards for us either, and that’s only because neither of us have the desire to attend. Graduating high school, while it’s important to both of us, is just another thing we need to get done and out of the way before our military life begins. Yes, the Army is ultimately Eric’s decision and his career, but it is going to be very much a part of my life and there’s even a small part of me that is excited. Especially for the Army Ball. Who needs a prom when you can get all dolled up and have your soldier escort you in his Dress Blues to a lavish military party?
I turn off the exit and steal a quick glance at Eric.
“It’s back to the beach for you and me this weekend, Soldier Boy, and this time you’re going to swim in the ocean with me. We have a room at a motel on the boardwalk and dinner reservations at seven. Oh, and if it isn’t too much to ask, I’d really like to ride the Ferris Wheel with you. I’ve always wanted to be kissed at the top.”
He leans over the console and presses a loud kiss to my cheek.
“A weekend down the shore with my girl—best birthday ever.”
I had a few more tricks up my sleeve when it came to surprising Eric for the weekend. Once we checked into the motel, we changed into our bathing suits and made our way down to the beach. It was a lot different from the first time our toes touched the sand. There was no bonfire or booze. No pot either. It was just us soaking up some rays, frolicking in the ocean like two carefree lovers with the wo
rld at their fingertips.
Around four we left the beach. The sun had knocked the both of us out and we wound up taking a little nap before getting ready for dinner. As much as I enjoyed our fun in the sun, crawling into bed with Eric after taking a shower was quite possibly the highlight of my day. There was no worry if we’d be caught, no setting the alarm and sneaking out of his bed. It was like a glimpse into the future.
Eventually, we tore ourselves from the safety of the sheets and headed to the restaurant. It was nothing crazy, just a little crab shack by the water. Eric loved seafood—even the raw stuff. Me, not so much, but they had lots of options and this weekend was about him.
When we arrived, the hostess took us to our table, where my next surprise waited. The Wildwood tradition isn’t just about celebrating your freedom from school, it’s about one last hoorah with your friends and so, I invited Danny, Tabitha, Robert, and their cousins Luca and Victoria to join us. Luca had driven them all and after dinner and some fun on the boardwalk, he would take them back to Staten Island.
As soon as Eric spotted his friends, brother, and cousins, he turned to me and hugged me so tight I had trouble drawing in a breath.
“I love you,” he whispered against my ear. “I love you so fucking much it’s scary.” He loosened his arms from around my body and took my face in his hands. “Scarier than any war,” he rasped before crashing his mouth over mine.
Later, when our car hit the top of the Ferris Wheel, I asked him what he meant by that. He took my hand, brushed his lips across my knuckles, and when his eyes found mine there was so much emotion radiating from them.
“What I feel for you is so strong it consumes every part of me, Brook. If I ever lost you, I don’t think I’d survive, and that’s the God’s honest truth.”
I don’t know where that came from, but I quickly assured him that there wasn’t a shot in hell that he’d ever lose me. I was in—all in. I was ready to combat every fear and leap with both feet. The love bug bit me and it bit me hard, just like my mom always said it would.
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