by Kip Nelson
Chapter Fifteen
Darren remained awake for the few hours of the night that were left. Betsy was the first of the children to stir. She yawned, rubbed her eyes, and then groaned as she realized she couldn’t stretch out as much as she wanted because they all were huddled together.
“At least we’re warmer than we usually are,” Darren said, speaking softly so as to not wake the others. Betsy was a little startled that he was awake, but she smiled at him, and wrapped her arms around her body.
“It’s still too cold for my liking, though,” she said. Darren could tell she was still a little awkward around him because of the previous day. Emotions ran high, and it was easy to get carried away.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“The same as usual. Aching, hungry, but I’m beginning to get used to it.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it, to be honest.”
“They’re still here then?” Betsy said, looking past Darren at the mountain lions.
“They are indeed, and I’m happy to report they haven’t made any moves to eat us.”
“Yet,” she said, and then laughed a little. Darren was relieved to know she still had the ability to make jokes. It was important in times of trouble to indulge a sense of humor. “Do you have any idea when this rain is going to pass?”
“I’m hoping it happens sometime today. I’m trying to think about how long it took before the eye of the storm was upon us, but it’s hard to gauge. I can’t imagine it will be too much longer, though. We’re due a break, and I want to get back out there so we can continue with our lessons.”
“It’s really helpful, you teaching us all this stuff,” Betsy admitted.
“Well, it’s a pleasure for me as well. You’re all naturals at it, and I’ve really been impressed with the way you handle yourself, Betsy. You’re calm under pressure and you have a real knack for this sort of thing.”
“I wouldn’t have called myself calm yesterday.”
“We all make mistakes, and sometimes things get the better of us. But you listened to reason and what you did was borne from good intentions. Let’s not dwell on that, okay? Let’s just think about all the good you’ve done. But look, if there’s anything you ever want to talk about, please feel free to come to me. I know that you and Tara have been through a lot, and it’s not easy to process everything that’s been happening.”
“Thank you, Darren. But, really, I’m not sure where to even begin. Sometimes I look around and I think to myself, is this really my life? Is this happening to me, or is this some kind of dream and I’m going to wake up in my own bed again?”
“I think we all have those thoughts,” Darren said.
The smile faded from Betsy’s face and she looked a little pensive. There was something else bothering her, but Darren wasn’t going to push it. He knew that if she was going to tell him what was on her mind, she had to do it of her own accord.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked moments later.
“Of course,” Darren replied, happy that Betsy felt comfortable enough with him to confide in him.
“There’s just been something nagging at me ever since we got here and I’m not sure how to talk about it really.”
“Just start talking and see what happens. I’m not going to judge you, and whatever you say to me is in complete confidence,” he said, in an effort to reassure her.
Betsy took a deep breath and nodded.
“It’s just that, well, I feel horrible for saying this, but one of the reasons I acted the way I did yesterday is because I’m glad me and Tara found this place. I feel so guilty for thinking badly about Dad. But I know we’re better off with you than we were with him. I feel so ungrateful, and like such a bad daughter. I mean…Dad’s dead. I shouldn’t be happy that we found someone to take care of us.”
“No, Betsy, you should be happy. I know it must seem as if you’re betraying your father’s memory, but you have every right to be happy. Believe me, speaking as a father there’s nothing I want more than to see my children happy. If I died, then I’d want to know that they were being taken care of by someone responsible. It’s perfectly natural for you to feel the way you’re feeling, but I’d try not to get too upset about it. If your father is anything like me, then all he wants is for you to live your life the best you can,” he said. Betsy remained unconvinced, but she thanked him all the same.
“Just sometimes I wish he was here, you know? I feel so bad that he’s missing out on Tara growing up, and that I’m not properly remembering him.”
“I know how you feel. It’s hard when girls are that age. I’m sure Brent has mentioned to you about his mother and how she left. Sometimes I wonder how much of her Michelle will remember.”
“Brent talks about her a lot,” Betsy said.
Darren wasn’t surprised at this, although he realized Brent only was talking about Stacie when he wasn’t around.
“The two of them were very close,” Darren said. It still pained him to talk about Stacie.
“He doesn’t know why she left.”
“I don’t either.”
“Maybe it was something like what happened to my parents. I guess things get complicated as you get older.”
“They do indeed. Trust me, people might say things get easier when you’re older, but they’re lying. The more you grow the more you realize the world is filled with shades of gray. I also wanted to thank you for how you are with Brent.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Darren had to tread carefully here because he didn’t want to do anything to interfere with Brent’s blossoming relationship. He’d never wanted to be the meddling parent, and he wasn’t about to start now.
“Ever since Stacie left Brent has been…different. It wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone but me, I don’t think. He’s been great with Michelle, and he’s still been a good kid, but he’s lost some of that spark that made him happy. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, since the two of you have become friends he’s really perked up and he’s like his old self.
“I know you’ve said you feel lucky you ran into us, but we’re lucky we ran into you as well. The more hands we have helping the better, as far as I’m concerned. And you’ve been really good for the family. In an ideal world, your parents still could be here, and Stacie still could be here and we all could be one big, happy family. But, unfortunately, we can’t control what happens to us, only how we react.”
“Sometimes I think it’s crazy what’s happened. I find it hard to sleep, thinking about it. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel sometimes.”
“That’s just the thing, Betsy. There is no way you’re supposed to feel. It’s just a journey, and as long as you take steps forward every day, it doesn’t matter how big they are, only that they’re going in the right direction. The human soul is a funny thing, really. You might not think about something for a long time, and then something reminds you of it, and bam! You’re right back into the past, and there’s nothing you can do about it other than let the emotion wash over you and hope that it passes.”
“You’re pretty wise, Darren. You know that?”
“I have my moments. But please don’t tell Brent that, because I don’t think he thinks I am.”
Betsy laughed.
“He admires you more than I think you know. He’s always going on about you and how you used to bring him and Michelle out here camping when they were younger. I can tell from the way he speaks that you’ve always been a good dad.”
“Well, thank you very much. That means the world to me,” Darren said, blushing a little.
“Darren, do you think, I mean, I hope I’m not getting too personal, but do you think if you met someone you liked, I mean, that you liked more than as just a friend, you might actually go out with them? Like, in this world I mean,” she asked, casting her glance aside.
Darren hid a smile. It was quite clear to him that she wasn’t really asking for him. She was asking advice
for herself but found it awkward to talk about it with the father of her potential boyfriend. It was more than a little awkward for Darren as well. Betsy wasn’t even technically his daughter, and if he had his way, his kids would avoid all kinds of romantic entanglements until they were well into their twenties.
That was the over-protective parenting part of him speaking, though. In reality, he knew that human coupling was a natural part of life and it was silly to avoid talking about it. Mistakes happened when people weren’t properly educated.
As a parent it was his responsibility to talk about these subjects with his children, even if it was uncomfortable. He also didn’t want his kids thinking they had to go around keeping secrets from him either. The way to avoid that was to cultivate an open line of communication, where no subject was taboo or difficult. Darren always had wanted Brent and Michelle to know they could come to him about anything without fearing his judgment or his scorn. Betsy hadn’t spent enough time with him to know this, which probably was why she wasn’t talking about herself and Brent directly.
“Well, the chances of me meeting someone in this world are rather slim. And I’m not sure I’m really in the place for a relationship right now. I still have a lot of emotional baggage from what happened with Stacie. But if I met someone I liked, and they liked me too, then I suppose I would be open to seeing how things developed.”
“Even though things are the way they are?” she asked.
“Well, there always are going to be reasons not to see how things go, but you’re never going to learn if something is going to work if you don’t try. If someone came along and we got along well, then, yes, I’d be open to it. But there are more things for me to consider. You, for example.”
At this, Betsy looked embarrassed and turned her face away.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, my first priority is taking care of you kids. If I met someone, that would have to be their priority as well. I couldn’t very well go out with someone who didn’t consider the safety of my kids as their primary concern. But it would take a lot of time for me to trust someone, I think. I’ve seen a few people in this world now, and I can’t say that all of them have had the most altruistic motives. I’d take my time, and I’d make sure that I was truly comfortable with it.
“I think that’s the most important thing anyway, realizing you don’t have to be pressured into anything. It’s quite valid to say you’re not ready and you’d like to take things a little more slowly. But, having said that, I think it’s also important to embrace these opportunities when they come along. We never can know when we’re going to get them again, especially in a world like this. We’ve all suffered through a lot. So, it’s important we take the victories that come our way as well as the defeats. We all deserve to be happy, Betsy. So, if there’s something that makes you happy, then you should go for it,” he said, and hoped that would give her everything she needed.
“Thank you, Darren,” she said, smiling.
They both felt movement beside them as Brent raised his head. His hair was tousled and he yawned, just as Betsy had done. He looked at them, blinked, and then asked them what the two of them had been talking about.
“Nothing much,” Betsy said, but gave Darren a knowing smile.
Before too long the Dawkins family was up and ready. All of them were aching because of the positions in which they had been forced to sleep. They took some time stretching out, and Darren showed them some of the proper positions for stretching their muscles. All of them listened dutifully.
While he did this, he reflected on his conversation with Betsy and was glad he had been able to help her. He didn’t want Tara or Betsy to feel left out, or as though he wasn’t giving them the same kind of love he was giving to his flesh and blood. She was a good kid, though, and Brent could do far worse. In fact, Darren wished he had met a girl like Betsy when he had been Brent’s age. She had her head screwed on right and was a good influence on Brent.
When they all were properly stretched, Darren suddenly realized something. He peered out of the cave entrance.
“Listen to that,” he said. The kids looked at him quizzically.
“I don’t hear anything,” Brent said.
“Exactly, the storm has stopped!” Darren said happily. He clasped his hands and rubbed them together.
“Does that mean the mountain lions are going to leave?” Michelle asked, a little mournfully.
“Well, maybe not right away, but don’t forget that they are just guests in our home. They can’t stay here forever. I’m sure you don’t want to sleep like that every night, do you?” he asked. Michelle shook her head.
So far, the mountain lions hadn’t shown any sign of movement. The mother lay stretched out where Darren usually slept, and her cubs were beside her. The warmth from the fire just about reached them, calmed them, and they slept soundly. Darren held a finger to his mouth, indicating for his children to be quiet as they made their way through the cave. Although he couldn’t ignore the spiritual bond that had formed between him and the big cat, he still was pragmatic enough to be cautious.
One by one they quietly and cautiously edged along the side of the cave. Darren didn’t want to know what would happen when a mountain lion was given a rude awakening. Brent went first, holding Tara’s hand, and then Tara held Betsy’s hand, and then Betsy held Michelle’s hand, and then Michelle held Darren’s hand. They were like a chain of paper dolls until they reached the fire..
They fixed themselves some food, and all the while Brent and Betsy kept a watch on the animals and the two little girls. Darren didn’t know which ones were more dangerous. Tara and Michelle were so transfixed by the sight of the mountain lions that they kept getting closer to them, reaching out to stroke them. To the girls, the mother and her cubs were cute and fluffy, and they’d been used to stroking cats in other circumstances, so why not this one? But, of course, these cats wouldn’t take kindly to being stroked, and they might stroke back, with claws as sharp as scythes.
The five of them huddled around the fire, taking in as much warmth as they could, and shared a meager meal.
“I’m still hungry,” Michelle complained after she had eaten her share. Darren felt a pang of guilt inside. It was his job to provide for them, and as it stood he was doing a lousy job.
“Well, now that the storm has moved on we can go outside and gather more nuts and berries like we did the other day,” Darren said.
“I don’t want nuts and berries! I want candy!” Michelle stamped her foot and pouted.
“You can’t have candy, Michelle. It doesn’t grow on trees. There are a lot of things I’d like too, but I can’t have. We’re all in the same boat.”
“I want candy!” she said again, this time louder.
Darren took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. Michelle had been so well-behaved so far, but there were times when she could let loose with a terrible temper. Usually he could quiet her down with the help of her stuffed animals, but she only had Applejack with her. He wasn’t sure the toy pony was going to be enough.
“Um, Dad?” Brent said.
Darren was about to tell him ‘Not now,’ for he was dealing with Michelle, when he saw Brent and Betsy’s expressions. He looked behind him and saw that Michelle’s tantrum had awoken the mountain lion. Darren gulped as it prowled toward them all, not looking too friendly.
“I don’t think she’s a morning lion,” Darren said, and ushered the kids out of the cave.
Then he quickly put out the fire and carefully backed out of the cave. The mountain lion stood there, guarding the cave entrance, and Darren wondered if she just had taken it for her own.
Michelle suddenly had forgotten her tantrum and now was clinging to Darren’s leg.
“She doesn’t look very nice,” Michelle said.
“No. That’s why we must be careful around her. She’s not like the cats we’ve seen before. But look, let’s go out and see what we can find out here. Hopefully, when we come
back the she and her cubs will be gone,” he said.
Usually he hated leaving the cave undefended in case other people came along and tried taking it for themselves. But he didn’t think anyone who came along would be foolish enough to try taking it from the mountain lion and her cubs. In fact, he didn’t think there would be anyone in this area anyway, not after the storm had raged for so long. He was certain they were alone.
“Come along, let’s keep moving to keep ourselves warm,” he said.
Their boots squelched on the muddy ground. The air was cold. The leaves were soggy and water hung from spindly branches. They paused for a moment and looked at the devastation that had been wrought by the storm. Trees had been uprooted and now lay like fallen soldiers, cracked and broken. Huge puddles shimmered. Everywhere had been drenched, and Darren pitied any living thing that had been caught in that storm, man or animal.
“Dad,” Brent began, but Darren held out his hand.
“I know what you’re going to say, Brent, and the answer is no.”
“You don’t know what I’m going to say at all!”
“You’re going to ask me if you can take the bike out to scout around,” Darren said. Brent blinked and looked a little sheepish.
“No, well, I mean, since you brought it up, maybe I could.”
“No, Brent,” Darren said firmly.
“Aw, come on! I could take it along the path. I wouldn’t go in the mud, I swear! And I wouldn’t go far either. I promise.”
“No, Brent. If you get caught in this mud, there’s no telling what might happen. I can’t spend my time coming to look for you if you get stuck. As for the path, well, how are you going to get through that?” Darren asked, gesturing to a huge puddle that blocked the path. It was more like a lake than anything else, and Darren didn’t like to think about how deep it went.
Brent was crestfallen. Darren hated to be the bad guy, but it was for Brent’s own good.
“I promise you, Brent, when it’s safe you can ride that bike to your heart’s content. Let the ground drink in all this excess water so the path is clear. Then you can go riding every day. Just be patient. You’ll get your chance, okay?” he said.