by Erin Lee
“I work as a male escort. I fuck chicks for cash,” I said, smiling as though I’d missed the entire memo about the fragile Princess First Class and her apparent fear of flying.
***
Ten minutes later
“You’re a what? That’s disgusting,” Jenner said, patting her cheeks – which shined from another layer of water she’d patted it with Tom’s peanut napkin.
“Yep. I’m sick.” But not a nut.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
Tom sat with his lips pressed tightly together. I knew the guy wanted to ask me if it was true at all. I could tell, by the way his lips turned up just slightly at the edges, that he wanted to know more. He played with a peanut on his tray as the banter between me and Jenner grew.
“You asked me what I do,” I continued. “So now you know.”
“Well, I don’t believe you.”
I’m not sure what caused me to do it, but I pulled out my card from Dukes for Dinner. “Believe me now?”
It about blew my mind when she took it.
“Oh. No, sorry, I’m not taking new clients right now.”
“I’m trying to see if it’s real,” she said, flipping the card upside down. “And it’s a terrible font. Who did the brand?”
“Yeah. Most chicks don’t care about that when they’re looking for a one night screw.”
Tom laughed.
“Sick.”
“You have water all over your shirt.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I couldn’t feel it.”
“Pissa’.”
“You. Just so – wrong,” she mumbled.
“Yep. Women love it.” And the second the words left my lips, I swore Jenner was going to spit her water at me. The only thing that saved me was Tom. You’re welcome about the panic attack. Carry on…Women!
8:59 pm, Saturday night
Jenner
“It’s nine. We had a date. …I need my wallet.”
I glared at him. While I wasn’t dumb enough to think it wasn’t possible he’d follow me, I hadn’t expected it to take him the better part of forty minutes. I folded my arms over my chest, glad I’d torn the sweats off and replaced my T-shirt with a blush shirt that matched my lipstick.
“Couldn’t stay away so long?” I asked, wondering who I even was. Every time I got near Rob, I was no different than my eighth grade self. I couldn’t say I hated it. It was just – different.
“What? No visitor?” Heat rose to my cheeks. I’d forgotten I’d told Rob I wasn’t alone. But, with the time between me leaving and him snaking his way up to my room, I guessed I could keep up the charade. I was about to launch into an explanation on how my ‘guest’ had just left when I saw the plastic key in Rob’s hand. The room number was my own.
“What the hell? You got a key to my room? What did you plan to do? Break in and rob me?”
“Um. If I wanted to do that, I could have done that before. I mean, who writes shit like their credit cards on the back of travel itinerary?” He asked, shaking his head. “It’s wicked risky. You should never do shit like that.”
“Why do you have a key?”
“Had to get through the halls.”
“Were you planning to use it?”
“Only to get to your door.”
I wanted to believe him. He had knocked, after all.
“Is this normal for you people? And what is up with this hotel? Why would they give you that?”
“Why not? I am your husband after all. Even confirmed your address.”
“Are you kidding me? You memorized it?”
“Naw. I’ve always been good at details. I remember the little things. At least for a bit. Eventually, I forget. Don’t worry about it. Now. About the wallet? Give that to me and I can disappear for good.”
I stepped back, pulling the door fully open.
Rob
Yep. She got changed. Typical. Are all California girls are the same? I stood at Jenner’s door. She was cute with her arms crossed and that pout as if she didn’t want me there. She was even cuter when she smirked and tried to keep up with me. I was used to chicks underestimating me. No one seemed to think about how many women I’d had experiences with. From the fold of a wrinkle to the tremor of a nostril, I could generally tell what they were thinking. At least, I liked to think so. Duke’s wasn’t a place for rookies. It wasn’t for dumb guys either.
After humoring her, she finally let me in. I stepped into what wasn’t as big of a room as I’d anticipated.
“This place is kind of a dump. I mean, first class?”
To my surprise, Jenner snorted. “I know. This whole trip’s been a mess.” She closed the door and followed me to the center of the room. There, I stood in front of the double bed and waited for her to say something more. Finally, she pointed – “It’s over there.”
The thousand pound club tag I’d earned in my freshman year of college was a relief to see. “Great, thanks,” I said, walking to a cherry desk with chipped fake molding. I walked slowly, hoping she’d find a way to stall. But she said nothing. Boss Lady knew the game too. I could give her that much.
“Feeling better?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The panic attack.”
“Oh. It was nothing. I hadn’t eaten anything, that’s all. Just freaked myself out. I’ve been fine today, thanks.”
“How did the convention go?”
She shrugged. “Boring.”
“Yeah. They usually are just like that, aren’t they? You ready for tomorrow?”
“What do you mean?”
Why she was acting like I didn’t know about her speech and how she was the keynote speaker of the day was beyond me. Hell, everyone on American flight 1023 knew. She hadn’t stopped yammering the entire time. Probably the result of anxiety too.
“The speech.”
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t expect you to remember that.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What did you expect? We did share the flight together. You talked about it for an hour with Tom.”
“Tom?”
“The dude between us. Guy with the grandbaby? Remember him?”
She laughed, pulling on a long strand of loose blonde hair and batting her eyelashes. Next, and right on cue, she’s pull in her stomach and stick out her chest.
“Sorry. I’m horrible with names.”
Names of people who can’t do anything for you. Ordinary people. “What’s mine?”
“Rob.”
“Wow! I’m impressed!”
“Ha, ha. Hilarious. A girl never forgets the guy who tries to steal her bag.”
“Sure. I was out of Maybelline.”
“Are you kidding me? I’d never wear—” Mid-sentence, she put her hand to her lips. “I mean. Yes. That.”
She was cuter when she was embarrassed. And while she’d managed to change her outfit, her face was close to bare now and nothing like the overdone gallery work it had been on Friday. Dimples popped out as a natural blush rose to her cheeks and she lowered her head. Shy, for a Boss Lady. I liked it.
Jenner
I didn’t look at him as I spoke. I wasn’t even sure why we were here. Sure, I’d asked him to join me. But I hadn’t thought he’d take me up on it and certainly had no plan for how I wanted the evening to go. If Jack could see me now… Sitting in a bar with a male escort.
“He wasn’t bad. He was just, I don’t know. Not hungry.”
Rob’s eyebrows shot up. He tilted his head.
“Not hungry?”
“Not like appetite. Jack was just, well, boring. He had no real drive.”
“What did he do?”
“He was an attorney.”
“Huh? A lawyer with no drive? Don’t they have to do like ten years of school?”
“He came from money.”
Rob looked at me like I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed to me that my explanat
ion would explain it all. In Orange County, people would know what I meant. Old money and new? There was a huge difference. Maybe that wasn’t a thing here.
“He was always working,” I added, leaving out the part about how I worked more and that I suspected he was fucking his secretary. Looking back, it wasn’t like I blamed the guy. I was hardly affectionate. Even during our engagement, I was so worried about building the business. I’d all but ignored him – even leaving most of our wedding arrangements up to Kim.
“Ahh.”
“You should try it,” I said, only because attacking him felt easier than a psychoanalysis of a relationship that was good and done.
“Try?”
“Working. You know. A real job.”
Rob laughed. “I have a real job. I have about then of them. A guy wears many hats in my profession. I run the gamut from bar tender to massage therapist and back.”
I rolled my eyes, reaching for my glass and tipping it back a little too far. Gulping at the cocktail, I let the warm buzz of it hit my stomach before asking him to elaborate. “What made you do it?” I was really asking what it takes to throw away all sense of self-esteem and pride. The man was basically a hooker.
He shrugged. “Needed the money.”
“What if you went to school? You could get a, I don’t know, respectable job.”
“I have a degree.”
My eyes grew wide. He had that on me. I’d dropped out my junior year. I prayed he didn’t ask me about that decision; one I’d been regretting ever since.
“In?” I imagined him in a school for sex; learning how to roll his tongue and just the right amount of pressure to apply to a woman’s clit.
“Social work.”
I leaned back, tilting my head and putting down my glass. Now, looking directly at him, I asked for more.
“It didn’t pay enough. I needed more money and fast. I was looking out for my mom and sister. Trying to help them out, ya know? Expected to go back. Just not there yet. Pissa’.”
I pictured two homeless women curled up in a cardboard box just outside of Harvard Square. What kind of parent would expect their son to work to support them and a sibling? It didn’t make sense. While my parents certainly weren’t perfect, they would never have asked me to give up my career. I doubt I’d have done it if they had.
“Complicated,” Rob said, gulping is beer and putting the kibosh on the entire conversation. There was something he wasn’t telling me. That much was clear.
“Well, how are you here? I mean, it’s Saturday night. Isn’t this a busy time for you?”
“Usually. I worked last night.”
Gross. “Oh.”
“Client cancelled this time.”
I could not dream of what his clients might be like. The type of woman who could not find a normal man and insisted she pay for it was a mystery to me. Never one to even allow a man to pay for a date, but also never one to pay for him either, it was all new to me. I wondered if this was a Boston thing but knew far too well that Cali had its share of male escort services too.
“Do you like it?”
“Mostly. I’m in a good place right now as I basically have regulars. First dates are hard,” he said, winking.
“This isn’t a date.”
“Sure.”
“You just took a client out last night. It’s disgusting!”
“We watched a movie. Hardly scandalous.”
“A woman paid you to watch a movie with her? No way.”
“Yep. Romantic comedy.”
Maybe the guy was a genius.
“Nothing else?”
“No. Just a movie and some drinks.”
“Is that typical?”
“With her it is. She’s just lonely. Nice lady too.”
“Is she eighty?”
“Forty.”
“Why can’t she find a normal guy?”
“Her husband’s dead. She’s still in love with him. She will. She’s just not ready. I give her companionship.”
The way he said it—entirely free of judgement—made me feel like a heel.
“Oh.”
“Yep. It’s not as wild as you might think it is. But then, nothing really is.”
It almost sounded like a challenge; I couldn’t be sure. I smiled and brought my glass back to my lips. There was a lot to this guy and I wanted to know more. Strange. With Jack, I never really did.
Rob
On no planet did I leave my wallet in her room on purpose. The bag was too big and awkward to lug around to a bar. I’d just set it down by the door – shocked she’d even asked me to go to the bar. So when the bartender handed me the tab, well, it was an accident. She didn’t believe me, of course. She even accused me of running another scam.
I laughed. “I swear, I’ll go up there right now and come back. Wait here.”
“You don’t have a key.”
“I don’t?”
“I’ve got it,” she said, pulling her own wallet out. “You’re impossible.”
“I told you, I’ll hand you the cash the second we get back to the room.”
“Sure you will,” she said. “I won’t ask where you got it either. Do they tip you in dollar bills?”
I laughed, deciding against telling her about my two month stint as a dancer. I’d never hear the end of it.
I don’t know whose idea it was to linger. But no sooner had we left the bar than decided to take a walk up to the convention center. I knew she had her big speech in the morning and was surprised that she didn’t seem in a hurry to get back. But, with nothing to do and no client again until Tuesday, my biggest plan for the next two days was figuring what to do about Renee. Well, her and mom.
An hour later, nobody could have been more surprised than me to hear me running through my options with Boss Lady. But in truth, she was a surprisingly good listener.
“…After that things just weren’t the same. The lack of oxygen left her with a brain injury. Of course, I was in kindergarten and didn’t notice much. To me, she was my sister and I was just glad she was okay.”
“I can’t imagine. Your poor mom.”
Gently, I grabbed Jenner’s arm before she stepped out into the street. I knew every light in the city – even from the parts of town I didn’t often frequent. She, obviously did not. Boss Lady was on unfamiliar turf and signs of that were obvious to me at nearly every turn we took. “That one’s broken.”
“But there are no cars.”
“Doesn’t matter. People here are peckers. Call um Mass-holes.”
Jenner laughed. “You should see how they drive in L.A.”
“Yeah. I’ve seen.”
We stood at the intersection before finally deciding it was safe to cross. For a second, I wanted to kiss her. But that moment passed quickly when she encouraged me to talk about Mom.
“She just got messed up. After Renee’s accident, she had to quit her job. Then she got Lyme disease. That screwed her up worse. She was always tired and never seemed to be able to keep up. Eventually, she lost her nursing license and had to work part time jobs. Obviously, taking care of my sister was the priority. And it wasn’t easy.”
“Is she—”
“What? Normal now?”
“Yes.”
“No. That’s the thing. Renee never got so messed up that she didn’t know. I don’t know how to explain it. Like, she always knew she was different from other people. She got a ton of shit for it in school. And I wasn’t old enough to do much to help her. Girls were vicious. Middle school was the worst. She’d come home and lock herself in her room. They called her the worst types of names you could think of. And mom, well, she blamed herself.”
“I can’t even imagine. That must have been so hard for you.”
“For all of us. But for Renee, it was the worst. Tried to kill herself three times. Once, it almost worked.”
“Jesus.”
“Yep. Tell me about it. Glad you asked?”
Jenner didn’t answer. Instead,
she stared at the ground. Four blocks past the convention center, I figured I should probably take her back. For a guy who was paid to make it about the chicks, I’d sure blown this.
“You have that speech tomorrow. Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Such a charmer. I expected you to be smoother.”
“No. I’m really just trying to walk you home.”
“How did you get here? Don’t you have a car?”
“Parking garage.”
“Oh.”
I had no idea why she was asking me about the car. It wouldn’t surprise me if she thought I’d had one of my harem drop me off. The girl simply had the wrong impression. I wasn’t the player she’d pegged me for. Mom could not take care of Renee on her own anymore. She needed help. It was just that simple. Someday, I’d go back to social work. Even go back to school. What I was doing was only for now. But it wasn’t worth explaining to her. Besides, I didn’t owe her an explanation. She was just a girl – one I’d met by accident on a plane on her way to a meeting I doubted would do a thing to empower anyone at all.
“Why?”
Jenner stop walking. She paused. Finally, “I was hoping you’d stay at the hotel.”
“Stay?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I have to get my wallet.”
“Or come back tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have to check out?”
“Yes. Noon. Well, first thing. I have to move my bags to the convention hall.”
“When’s your flight out?”
“Five.”
I knew she wanted me to stay over but could not understand why. I didn’t peg Jenner for the one-night kind. And certainly not with a guy like me. It was time to shut up and hear her story. Something was off. And there was no way I was obliging her, no matter how much I wanted to, without finding out.