Jacques Matthias had also been a former slave, sold by his father and freed by the human who was destined to become his mate. Alex watched them together, saw the love they had for one another, and it had helped in some small way. One day, he knew he would be okay. He would be whole again.
He got into Viridian’s car and said nothing on the way to his new home, letting the man talk. Viridian told him how he used to be mayor, but now his brother Indigo was in charge. He preferred to be behind the scenes.
Viridian showed him the town as they drove through it, pointing out the different shops and telling Alex what was sold in each of them. The main street, or Wilson Street as it was actually called, was a hive of activity, and Alex envied the people who were shopping. He knew he wouldn’t go there.
He hugged his bag closer to his chest. Sweat broke out over his skin, his heart hammering in his chest. He needed to get inside. He couldn’t stay in the car any longer.
“Almost there, Alex.”
Alex nodded. “Okay,” he whispered.
“You’re doing really well. Just a little longer.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, “I wish I didn’t feel this way.”
“Give it time. You’ve experienced—”
“I know!” Alex snapped. In a quieter voice, he added. “I know.”
Viridian sighed. “We’re here.”
He pulled up in front of a four-story apartment building, and Alex got out, holding his bag to his chest like a shield. He followed Viridian inside and up a flight of stairs until he stopped outside the front door of an apartment.
Viridian opened the door and stepped aside to let Alex in first. Alex walked into the small apartment and turned around on the spot. The living room and kitchen were open plan, and he could see a door leading off the room to where he assumed the bathroom and bedroom would be.
Viridian walked into the kitchen and opened a few cupboards and the fridge, nodding when he saw the contents. “You have everything you need here. They’ll be more clothes in the bedroom, along with bedding, and the bathroom is fully stocked too.” He pointed to a list on the wall. “These are numbers you might need. Doctor, hospital, therapist, and me.”
“Okay.” He bit his lip and stared down at the carpet. Viridian had been kind, but Alex wanted him gone. He needed to be alone.
Viridian walked up to him and stopped. “Call me. Day or night.”
Alex nodded. “Okay.”
Vir growled. “Promise me.”
Alex glanced up at him then away. Sighing, he nodded. “I will.”
Vir continued to stare at him until Alex nodded. “Good. Piece of advice, Alex. We can smell a lie.”
Alex’s mouth fell open. “Oh.”
“Yeah. So, no lies between us, yeah?”
Alex nodded. “I just... the questions, all the time...”
Vir sighed. “Gets too much, doesn’t it? Make yourself at home, and call me if you need anything, or I’ll stick mom on you, and trust me, you don’t want to get on her bad side.” Vir grinned, gave him a cheery wave, and left, closing the front door quietly behind him and leaving Alex alone.
At last, he was alone.
He walked over to the faded brown sofa and sat on the edge, his bag still clutched to his chest. He stared at the apartment, not really taking anything in. This was his home, for now. Who knew where he would be in six months?
His chin wobbled, and he bit his lip. He’d shed far too many tears already, and he didn’t want to cry anymore. He didn’t want to cry about his past, didn’t want to give the vampires the satisfaction of knowing they’d ruined his life. Even though they were dead and didn’t have any power over him now, it felt that way to Alex. He needed to be strong; he needed to give himself time to recover so he could leave this place and start over again.
He needed to get away from everyone and everything that reminded him of his past. If only his dreams would let him forget, but every time he closed his eyes, images of the nightmare his life had been came to him, making him relive it over and over again. No matter what he did, he couldn’t make them leave him alone.
He’d been a number, used and abused to fulfill someone’s sadistic needs. His eyes itched, and he scrubbed at them. No, he wouldn’t cry, he told himself, but when the first tear fell, he could do nothing to stop the rest that followed.
❊❊❊
The knock on the door jolted Alex from a nightmare. The therapist had mentioned something about it to him when he went to the only session he’d attended. She’d told him it was part of his recovery. Dreaming about what had happened to him, but he didn’t want to remember any of it at all.
He swung his legs over the side of the sofa and placed his feet on the floor. His heart beat quickly, sweat covered his skin, and he raised a shaky hand to brush the hair away from his forehead.
He took in a shaky breath and sighed when he heard the knock again. Whoever it was wasn’t leaving, but neither was the aftereffects of his nightmare.
It was his fault, anyway. He’d attended his therapy session, and the woman had come to him. In fact, he hadn’t left his small apartment since he’d stepped inside. He wasn’t ready to face the world yet.
He dragged his feet as he walked over and looked through the peephole, staring at the older woman who stood on the other side of the door.
He cracked it open, making sure the chain was on, and muttered, “Yeah?”
“Alex? I’m Anna. You’ve already met my son, Viridian. Open up, son, and let me in.”
“Why are you here?”
“We can talk about that inside. I’m sure you don’t want anyone to hear our conversation, do you?”
Alex bit his lip and muttered, “No.”
“Good. Open the door, Alex.”
Alex stepped back, removed the chain, and opened the door. Anna walked in, took one look at him, and shook her head. “Shower, Alex, please. I’ll wait out here for you.”
He stood rooted to the spot as Anna walked around his small apartment. She opened the cupboards and the fridge then glanced over her shoulder at him, an eyebrow raised. “Now, Alex.”
She gave him the mom look, the one that no one disobeyed, and he made his way to the shower to do as he was told. He showered quickly so Anna wasn’t left on her own for too long. When he finished dressing, he went back into the living room, finding her sitting on his sofa.
She gave him a pointed look, looked him up and down and nodded, then patted the space next to her. He sat and folded his hands together in his lap, waiting for her to speak. She’d come to talk to him, but Alex had nothing to say.
“So, you left the hospital, what? A month ago now?” She waited until Alex nodded. “How many times have you been out since then?”
Alex didn’t say a word. He figured she knew exactly how many times he’d left his apartment. Zero, none.
“You haven’t, have you? Are you scared in case someone takes you again? Or maybe you’re afraid of the wide-open space after spending months crammed in a tiny cell with others? Whatever the reason is, you’re not going to move on with your life hiding in here. Have you been to any of your therapy sessions?”
Alex didn’t answer. He figured she knew the truth. She huffed and muttered, “This conversation only works if we both talk.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth, Alex. I want the truth from you. No lies, no bullshit.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you animals can smell it.”
“You animals.” Anna took a deep breath in and released it slowly. “I’m going to let you get away with that one, because you don’t know any better and because of what you’ve been through, but don’t do it again. I won’t be insulted.”
Alex bit his lip and looked away, staring at the wall. “You need to go. I’ll be leaving soon.”
“And where will you go?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“What’s so wrong with here?”
Alex exploded out of his seat, spun o
n the spot, and screamed, “I’ll be away from you fucking monsters! You ruined my life! You took and took, and you didn’t care that I was scared or hurt and bleeding. You took anyway, and the more I begged or cried, the harder you laughed. It didn’t matter what I said or did, I was a body to fuck or to feed from. I hate you all!”
Anna sat on the sofa, not saying a word, merely watching him.
“Well?” he screamed. “Got nothing to say?”
“What can I say to take it all away? What can I do?” Anna asked him quietly. “If I could, I would take all the pain away, so you could sleep peacefully at night. No more bad dreams, no nightmares, but I can’t, so I’ll do what I can and that is to be here for you now and show you that life goes on. That getting up every day is a big fat fuck you to them. That you, Alex, are worth it. That your life is worth living. You might feel like you’re all alone, but you’re not, because I am here with you.” She nodded once to him. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Whenever I’m ready,” Alex muttered. “What if that’s never?”
“Then we’ll wait together, and if never comes first, I’ll still be here with you, standing by your side.”
Alex turned away and folded his arms over his stomach. “I don’t know...”
“I can wait until you do.”
He spun back around and stared at her, waving his hand at her as she sat calmly. “How can you just sit there?”
“What more can I do?” Anna asked. “Until you are ready, this is all I can do. I’m not going anywhere, Alex, and I’m certainly not leaving you.”
Alex furrowed his brow, staring at his bare feet. Funny how he noticed he didn’t have socks on right at that moment. “I don’t deserve you being so nice to me.”
“And why is that? Because you were a slave against your will? Because your mom was an alcoholic who didn’t care about you? Tell me, Alex. Why can’t I show kindness to you? Why can’t I treat you the way you deserve? Why can’t I be the person you lean on?”
“I’m a nobody,” he whispered.
“That’s them talking, not you. To me, you are someone. You will always be someone, Alex, and it’s time for you to realize it too.”
Alex’s lip wobbled, his eyes burning. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m scared.”
“I know you are, son, but you’re not alone. Not anymore.” He felt Anna’s hands on his arms, and she turned him to face her. “Let go, son. Let it all go.”
Alex blinked, and tears seeped out of the corner of his eyes. “I don’t want to cry anymore. I’m so sick of crying.”
“Sometimes what we don’t want to do is the very thing we need to do to help us move on.”
“I don’t want to fall.”
Anna smiled sadly. “I’ll catch you, Alex, before you hit the ground. I’ll catch you.”
Alex stared at her, and when she pulled him close, he let her, so she could catch him as he fell.
Chapter Four
Cyan stood in the ruins of what was once a lab, staring at the metal table that had been bolted to the floor in the middle of the room. The straps hung from the sides, covered with dark red stains that could only have come from spilled blood. Shifter blood. His kind had been held captive on this table, probably died on it too.
Had his sister been strapped to this table? Had they cut her open while she begged them to stop? While she begged them to let her go? Had they laughed at her tears? Had they done worse?
He wiped a hand over his mouth and suddenly punched the table, screaming out in rage as his frustration overflowed. Too fucking late. He’d been too fucking late. He rained punches on the table, screaming as anger burned through his body.
“Cy.”
Cyan didn’t acknowledge Teal, even though he knew he was hurting too. He punched the table again, then stepped back, panting harshly.
“She was here,” Teal muttered. He stepped closer and stared at the ruined table. “She was here, Cy.”
He glanced over his shoulder, furrowing his brow. He hadn’t scented her at all. “You’re sure?”
Teal nodded. “Several of the others who were held here saw her. They moved her yesterday.”
Cyan growled, low and deep. “Yesterday? We missed her by hours.”
“Yeah. We did. Too close, Cy. Too fucking close.”
Cyan could only draw one conclusion. “They knew.”
“They had to.” Teal nodded.
“Where does that leave us?”
“That leaves Indy in a position we never thought he’d be in.”
Cyan winced and turned to look at Teal. The impossible might have happened. “A possible mole.”
“A traitor,” Viridian muttered as he entered the room.
“We sure?” Cyan asked.
“No, but it’s something we’re gonna have to look into. They moved her hours ago, and she was the only one. Why her and no one else unless they knew we were coming?”
“Vir.” Cyan shook his head, blowing out his breath. “This is shit.”
“The whole situation is. We’ll find her.” Viridian walked over to the metal table and touched its surface. “Do you think they had her here?”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Cyan muttered.
Indy stuck his head in the room. “Hunter has some information for us.”
They all left the room and followed their brother Indigo into another room where the computers were set up. Hunter sat in front of one, fingers still busy.
“I thought I had access to it all, but Carter spotted something. We followed it, and now we have access to this.”
The data scrolled on the screen, and to Cyan, it looked like a jumbled mess. “What am I looking at?”
“The information they don’t want their minions to see. You saw how many labs they have set up. Well, now we know how many species they know about and their locations.”
Hunter stared at the screen and muttered, “Where the hell is Salutem? Why can’t I see it?”
“Here.” Cyan pointed to the screen where a green dot was flashing on a map. “This is Salutem. Close to the cities but far enough away to let us be who we are.”
Hunter pushed a button, and the dot shrank as more of the map appeared on the screen. As he did, more dots appeared. “These green dots are where shifters are, the red are there labs. This isn’t all of it either. Carter’s working on accessing it, but we don’t have long. I can’t even print this off. Carter’s trying to copy the info now, but they have something blocking us. They know what we’re doing.”
Where every green dot was located, there were several red dots surrounding it. “Shit,” Cyan muttered.
“Deacon! Get in here!” Viridian shouted. He pointed at a green dot close to green dot showing where Salutem was. “Morefield Village. The wolves.”
Deacon walked in, and Indigo brought him up to date. He stared at the screen and swore. “Shit.”
“Look at the number of places housing shifters. I don’t recognize most of them.”
“Me either,” Deacon admitted. “We need to send people and warn them.”
“We need to offer them a place here,” Teal muttered. “Hunter, if you select a green dot, what information does it show?”
Hunter hovered over the dot that represented Salutem and clicked. A list appeared. People hissed or growled when they saw the info.
“Population, species, and numbers.” Indigo nodded. “Does it break that info down further?”
Hunter tapped away until a new window opened on the screen. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Let me check a few of the others.”
They all waited patiently as Hunter checked several other locations, but it became obvious that Salutem and Morefield were the two locations that contained the most details.
“Someone has to be feeding them this information.” Hunter kept tapping. “The other locations don’t have nearly the same level of detail. You have a mole feeding them information about the two places. I would guess a resident.”
“Anythi
ng on who it could be?” Cyan asked.
Hunter tapped another key, and the screen went blank. “We’re out.”
“What?”
“They’ve locked us out. Hang on.” Hunter tilted his head to the side and hissed. “Carter managed to get more information, but nowhere close to what was on the system. He’s forwarding it over now. It’s a start, and we have a name of the company allegedly involved.”
“Probably a cover too.” Viridian scrubbed at the stubble on his chin. “We have more than we had this morning. Thanks, Hunter, and tell Carter the same.”
Hunter nodded and pushed back his chair, standing next to them. “We’ll keep working on it. I’ve got to go. We’ve got a missing person case.”
Indigo nodded. “Thanks for coming here.”
“Least I could do considering how you helped us. You know where we are if you need anything, anything at all.”
Teal shook his head as he stared at the blank screen. “I’ll walk out with you, Hunter.”
Teal left the room with Hunter, and Deacon growled. “Betrayed by one of our own. If I get my hands on the fucker, they’ll beg for death.”
Cyan nodded. “We’ll be there standing next to you.”
Brian Sterling walked into the room and stood staring at the blank screen before sighing. “We have thirty-five former prisoners. Eight in critical condition. They’re on their way to Dr. Alvarez’s team now.”
Indigo glanced at him. “The rest?”
“They’ll survive.” Brian stared at them all, then added, “One is lucid enough to answer questions. You might want to speak to him.”
“Why?” Cyan asked, turning to face Brian.
“He saw Sky. She was alive when they moved her yesterday.”
Cyan was first out of the door, following closely behind Brian. He led them to another room, and inside, a man sat on one of the chairs. He looked up as they entered, and they could all see the torment in his eyes, the bruises and scars that littered his body. This man had truly suffered.
Before Cyan could speak, Deacon pushed forward and knelt in front of him. “Thank you. I know you want to leave this place, and I’ll have somewhere available for you.”
What He Needs (Salutem Book 1) Page 2