MerMadmen

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Then let her win. Admit weakness and leave with me.”

  “She’d never allow me to walk away. Even if she did, I made a commitment to end this and bring back these men’s women. I can’t leave things like they are and permit the suffering to continue.”

  This was why Liv couldn’t help her feelings for Roen. He wouldn’t back down from a fight no matter how harrowing the odds. Still, it worried her. What if he died? What if she left and never saw him again? The thought broke her heart.

  “What if I want to stay?” she asked, gently placing her hand on his arm.

  “I won’t allow it. And you’d be nothing but a distraction not to mention leverage for Shane’s men. They know I have feelings for you.”

  Liv felt a little flutter deep in her chest. He admitted to having feelings for her. Yes, duh, it was obvious. But hearing him say it felt so, so good. Except, it’s not enough to make him want to be with you or believe we’ll work out. That, of course, was her needy voice wanting what it wanted. The other voice inside her head knew he was right. Her being there only made Roen vulnerable. Especially now that he’d admitted she was his mate and fought to protect her yet again.

  He added, “And even now as we speak, I’m barely able to keep myself from taking you right here in the dirt. Is that really what you want?”

  “Yes!” Liv knew exactly what her body wanted: Him. Naked. Slamming his hard flesh into her over and over again until she died of ecstasy. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. As for her heart, it couldn’t possibly want him more than it did at this very moment.

  He puffed out a breath and shot her a look of disapproval.

  “Well,” she offered, “it doesn’t have to be in the dirt. There’s a nice bed inside.”

  He shook his head. “This is no time for jokes, Liv.”

  Who’s joking? she thought.

  He went on, “You now know you are my mate and exactly what that means. Do you think I want to again risk turning you into a maid? Do you understand how lucky you are to have escaped that fate the last time you were here?”

  “Well, no. But—”

  “But nothing,” he cut her off. “You are leaving. I will drive this situation to an end once and forever.”

  Hearing him say that and thinking of his road ahead made her realize how selfish she was being. Here she was focusing on what she wanted—him—while he worried about saving thousands. “I’m sorry. You’re right, Roen. I’m the last thing you need to be worried about.”

  “I’m glad you finally understand.”

  That didn’t mean she wasn’t in the process of feeling like her entire world was caving in around her heart. Because it was. It felt like a cruel, cruel joke to finally be with Roen and hear him admit the truth about his feelings, only to be driven away again.

  “So what do you plan to do after I leave?” Another big bug zoomed by and smacked her forehead and she began to wonder if the island was making them do it.

  “Read,” he replied. “I’m going to read.”

  “Uh. Okay. Reading is…relaxing.”

  “No. I have to find a way to free the maids. If I can do that, I can remove the hold the island has over many of the men.”

  “So you think there’s a cure?” This was exciting.

  “Our folklore says the island changed us all at one point, giving us legs, and then decided to take them away from our women. The island doesn’t have magical powers. She can’t wave a wand and change a person into another creature. She is a life force that can communicate, influence, and trigger physiological reactions under certain circumstances.”

  “You still think she’s alive?”

  “I know she is,” he said. “However, she’s not a god.”

  “She can make herself disappear and create storms. She can mutate women into monsters. I’d say that’s pretty damned impressive.”

  The moon suddenly broke through the cloud cover and shined brightly on Roen’s face. She’d never seen a more determined expression in his eyes, like the man was mentally preparing for war.

  Maybe because he is. And the thought frightened her.

  “Her abilities can always be explained by a physical or chemical connection,” he said. “She manipulates her chemistry and generates heat deep inside the ground. When she does, the moisture releases from the top of that mountain or vents around the island. It creates a mirage of sorts, reflecting the sun and the water back at whomever is looking at her. If anyone gets close enough, she has the means to create vibrations that liquefy the beach. In the case of the maids, she cannot transform a person merely by willing it. A catalyst is required.”

  Liv felt like a child who’d been allowed backstage at a magic show. And there she’d been, believing that the magician really could make himself disappear. Now that strange orange or blue sky made perfect sense. The island had developed a sort of camouflaging ability like a chameleon or that color-changing octopus she’d once seen on the Nature Channel. There were hundreds if not thousands of examples of this in nature.

  Still, despite not being magic, those abilities were pretty damned impressive.

  Roen continued, “There are clear, physical limits to her abilities, which is why she needs us, but that doesn’t make her any less dangerous. And it does not negate the fact that she must be protected from the world. Without her, no one lives.”

  “So how do you plan to bring the women back?” Liv asked.

  “I don’t know yet. We instinctually bite women before sex, but the transformation only happens to our mates and no other women.”

  “You bit me and nothing happened,” Liv said.

  “You’re not the norm. You’re resistant to whatever is in the water and to our pheromones. We also did not have sex. So you present additional variables.”

  Roen was dancing dangerously close to science-speak, and it was turning up her thermostat from “sizzling for Roen”—yes, it never stopped—to full-fledged bonfire of formidable lust.

  “I can help you, Roen.”

  “No. You’re leaving.” Roen took her hand and began pulling her back toward the front door of the cottage. “And I really must go now. The men are waiting.”

  Yeah. She knew. And the thought of being separated again had already begun to turn her inside out. “I don’t have to be here physically,” she pointed out, stumbling behind him over the moonlit walkway. “I can take whatever books and records you have. I’m good at figuring out things like this—connections that can’t be seen with the naked eye is something I’ve obsessed over for years. We can Skype once a day and compare notes.”

  Plus, at least this way she’d know what was going on and see him every day. While you slowly go mad from being separated.

  Roen stopped directly in front of the door. “Fine. I’ll have my men load everything into crates. You can take them with you in the morning.”

  “In the morning?”

  “The sooner you’re all gone, the better.” He reached for the door handle, twisted, and pushed it open for her.

  Liv couldn’t move her feet inside. She didn’t want to leave him. “I want to stay with you tonight.”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “We don’t have to have sex.” Honestly, at this point, she’d take just being near him for a few more hours. God only knew when or if she’d ever see him again.

  “Because I will fuck you and that’s not going to help either of us.”

  Fuck. Simply hearing him say the word evoked X-rated images of her riding his thick, hard shaft, their bodies glistening with sweat, their lips swollen from rough, needy lovemaking.

  Liv’s toes curled over her leather sandals, and the muscles deep inside her core screamed with the most carnal sexual ache she’d ever experienced. Dammit, forget the cuddling. There had to be an XL condom somewhere on this godforsaken island.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s exactly the sort of help I need, so speak for yourself, Roen.”

  “Liv, I must be absolutely clear; nothing has changed
between us. You and I cannot happen, because even if by some miracle I achieve my goals, someone will need to stay behind and protect this place and everyone knows bad things happen to landlovers here.” His voice dropped an octave. “Very. Very bad things.”

  “Why does that someone need to be you?” she argued.

  “Do you suggest I enslave someone else?”

  “No. But—”

  “But nothing. A leader puts his people first, his family first. And think what you will, but these people are my family. Including those creatures in the water. Good night, Liv.” He gave the front door a little push, opening it wider—a sign that the conversation was over.

  Fight. Love. Die. That was what Roen had said was their fate back in the great hall. He wanted everyone to have the chance to live a real life. Everyone except himself and her.

  She smoothed her hands over her long hair and stepped inside the cottage past Roen and his harsh gaze. Wait. Don’t let him push you away, Liv. You have a say. This is your life, too.

  She turned in a huff. “What’ll happen when we’re apart if mates who separate go crazy?”

  “If I live through this, I will find the solution. One hurdle at a time, Liv.”

  “So, let me get this straight,” she began, seething. “You save the island, stay forever, and I find someone else. That’s your plan.”

  “Yes. Because I will find a way to untie this noose around our necks.”

  Liv felt her heart twist into an angry knot. He considered their relationship to be a noose while she thought their relationship to be a rare and precious gift. So few people got to experience something so powerful.

  “And if you don’t live through this?” she asked.

  “Then you will be free either way,” he said solemnly.

  So he believed the connection between them would end if he died, even though that wasn’t how love worked. Yes, she loved him. She’d known since that day she’d first left him behind on the island, although it took a while to admit it to herself.

  “I tried to come back for you, Roen. That morning you freed me from the island. I tried to come back for you. I asked myself what I’d be willing to give up to be with you and save you. The answer was everything.”

  “What’s your point?” he asked.

  “The island didn’t create what I feel, so you can’t ‘break’ it. And if you don’t believe me, just remember you said yourself, I’m immune to her.”

  “I said you’re resistant, not immune. Either way, I’ll make sure you move on.”

  He spoke like he truly believed he could conquer everything and anything if he put his mind to it. Wrong.

  “Of course,” she fumed, “because it’s all your choice. Not mine.”

  “If you wish to put it that way, then yes. It is my choice.”

  Liv shook her head in frustration. She couldn’t take being pushed away from him like this anymore. Whatever had happened in Roen’s life with his family and parents had skewed his perception of love. To him it meant placing the protection of the other and sacrificing one’s self above everything else. Sadly, it was what she loved about him. Even sadder, it was the reason he felt that pushing her away was the only way when there might be other options. He simply felt too scared to even try.

  “And if you’re wrong, Roen? If I’m not able to move on? What’s your plan B then? Because I’ll be crazy, and you might be dead.”

  He shot her a look. She’d definitely hit a nerve. “That won’t happen.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because I never fail.”

  What a stubborn, egotistical man! She could argue and push and plead, but once again he’d put her in a situation where he gave her no say. “You’ve already failed, Roen. Because you’re a giant ass!”

  “You dare call me an ass, landlover?”

  “Oh, sorry. Mer-ass. And you definitely don’t deserve me if you’re not willing to fight for me.”

  She reached to shut the front door, but he pushed it back open with his strong arm and stepped inside, towering over her.

  “I did fight for you,” he said in a loud, angry voice. “Four times now if I’m counting correctly, which is why you’re still alive.”

  Being so close, feeling the heat of his body, threatened to suck the wind from her angry sails.

  “And I’m thankful,” she snapped. “I’m also ready to leave in hopes of never seeing you again. So your work here is done, big bad merman.”

  Roen turned and marched off, blistering with anger, swiping at branches while he grumbled away, “Damned landlover women. So goddamned ungrateful.”

  “Coward!” she yelled out the door. “That’s what you all are! Mer-chickens of the sea! Who run away with their tails between their legs!”

  “We don’t have tails, woman!” he screamed back from a distance.

  “Yeah!” she hollered back. “I noticed. And who the hell ever heard of a merman without a goddamned tail, huh?” Liv slammed the door shut and flipped on the lights, immediately marching to the little table in the corner to pour herself a tall glass of scotch.

  Stubborn asshole. Just tosses me over like an old rusty boat anchor. Noose, my ass. He’s the noose. Stupid ocean-Neanderthal. She gulped down the smoky hot liquid and then held back a gag. The burn was almost unbearable and the taste was frigging awful. What did a girl have to do around here to get a good bottle of Russian River Pinot? Huh? Oh, but nooo. Mermen drink hard alcohol, wear skirts, and throw boat parties.

  “Liv?”

  Dana stood in the front doorway, looking confused as ever, her wide brown eyes filled with fear.

  “Dana, ohmygod.” Liv put down her glass, rushed forward, and hugged Dana tightly.

  “What’s going on, Liv?”

  Liv let go and placed her hand on Dana’s cheek. “What’s going on is that you’re safe. And I’m taking you home tomorrow.”

  “I don’t want to go home, Liv; I want to stay here with Shane.”

  Liv couldn’t believe her ears. “No, baby, you don’t.”

  “Oh, yes. I do. In fact, I want to stay here with all of them. They need me. And they’re all really, really hot. Have you seen them naked? Have you?” Dana held out her hands a few feet apart to make her point.

  “Dana—” Liv gripped her shoulders firmly “—what you feel is a result of their pheromones or something. It makes you high and feel stupid-happy, so you don’t realize that they only want to use you and hurt you. What you feel isn’t real.”

  “I saw the way you looked at Roen while you were fighting. Are you saying that’s not real either?”

  “Yes, it’s real. That’s because Roen and I have a special relationship that…” Ugh. This is stupid. “No. I’m sorry. You’re right; it’s not real, which is why I’m leaving with you tomorrow.”

  Dana looked at her feet. “I don’t want to go, Liv.”

  “Dana, you’re not thinking straight. Because if you were, you’d be begging to get the hell off this rock.”

  “Then why do I feel so—”

  “Mom and Dad love you, Dana. Krista loves you. And so do I. So if you can’t believe me about what you’re feeling, can you at least believe in that?” She would never understand why Dana felt more to her like a daughter than a younger sister. It might’ve had to do with the fact that when Dana was a baby, Liv spent hours rocking her and pretending she was hers. Of course, they were only five years apart and with their similar faces, long dark hair, and big brown eyes, they looked more like twins than anything else. Regardless, Liv felt fiercely protective of her baby sister.

  Dana nodded. “I know you love me, but can’t I—”

  “Good. Because I promise once we get far, far away from here, you’ll see things in another light.”

  Liv also prayed that Dana went back to being that smart, sassy, independent sister she loved so much. This version was so damned annoying.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Early the next morning, a loud knock on the front door woke Liv. He
r hair a tangled mess from tossing and turning all night, she slowly rolled from the king-size bed in the cozy bedroom, where Dana still slept, and went to answer, finding a handwritten note shoved under the front door. It informed them the boat would be leaving soon, and reminded everyone of the law prohibiting the women from speaking of their time on the island or of its inhabitants.

  Should you break this law, the punishment will be swift and not limited to yourself.

  The scary-as-hell part was that this threat wasn’t idle. The island had known when Liv broke the promise. And yes, the punishment had been swift and not limited to herself—she’d ended up having a seizure-like episode on the floor of her psychiatrist’s office and then, that same day, Dana experienced a similar episode, almost dying from asphyxiation right before her eyes in the ER. Miraculously—or more accurately put: suspiciously—Liv had a small vial of sacred water in her purse and used it to save Dana.

  The thing was, Liv had no clue how the island had done it—getting to Dana—especially considering what Roen had said. The island’s reach was limited to things around her that she could react with or connect to.

  Liv woke Dana, and they washed up. Neither had any belongings to pack since they’d been “invited” as “guests” Wild West style. After grabbing an apple and some bottled water from the small kitchen inside the cottage, Liv and Dana marched down the hill along the dirt path. The sun was just over the horizon, and the sky shimmered with electric blue.

  Liv stared through the swaying treetops at the unnatural display. Love this place or hate it, the beauty was unlike anything on the rest of the planet.

  “You see that?” Liv said to Dana while the two made their way toward the marina.

  Dana said nothing. Liv could tell from the lack of conversation and Dana’s sagging posture that she felt horrible. Maybe her merman-contact high had worn off.

  Either way, Dana wasn’t arguing about leaving and they’d soon be on their way home.

  One by one, the women quietly filed onto the small cruise ship, looking like they’d all been the victims of a spring break tequila-drinking contest.