The tub was pushed close to the fire, despite the fact that no fire burned. He sat in the cooling water, no closer to an answer. He wanted Charlie in the worst way but he didn’t want to compromise his past.
A soft tapping from the patio caught his attention. Was there a bird at his door? Twisting his neck around, he caught a strip of purple in the narrow view the curtains provided and the delicate fingers of a lady.
He surged up from the tub, wrapping a towel about his waist as he made his way to the door. Sure enough, Charlie stood on the balcony of his room, one arm wrapped about her stomach, the other raised to knock again. Desire and irritation snaked down his body. He wanted to see her again. But he also knew, as he’d said earlier, they were playing with fire. He yanked open the door. “What are you doing here?”
She swallowed, glancing over her shoulder. “May I come in? I’m not terribly fond of heights.”
“Then why come out onto the balcony?” Many of the windows had individual balconies. But his was at the very top of the house and one long platform stretched across the entire floor, overlooking the ocean.
“I needed to speak with you…privately.”
He grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the room, leaving the doors open. “You shouldn’t have come.”
Her eyes started at his neck and slid down his body, color blooming in her cheeks. “Perhaps not.” Her gaze stopped at his midriff. “I did expect to find you dressed.”
“This is my private chamber. In which innocent ladies should not be present.”
Rather than answer, she lifted a hand and touched his collarbone, tracing a single finger over the protrusion before she slid her hand lower, tracing the muscles of his chest, then she flattened her palm and trailed it down the flat of his stomach. He caught the hand at his waist, his wayward body betraying his need for her.
“Charlie,” he groaned, squeezing her fingers in his own.
She gave a tiny nod. “I know. I shouldn’t.” Then she swallowed. “But you’re so beautiful.”
“Beautiful?” He couldn’t help it, that made him grin despite himself and he brought her fingers up to his lips, kissing her palm. “Not a word often used for men.”
She moved a bit closer. “I know. But your muscles, the way your body moves, I saw you fighting with Lord Craven today.”
He let out a low chuckle. She’d been impressed by masculinity, had she? His eyes drifted closed. There was so much simmering sexuality in Charlie just waiting for the right man to unlock it. Him.
He touched her waist and drew her to his still-wet chest. “What are you doing here, Charlie?”
She slid her fingers from his and rested them on the bare skin of his chest again. “I…” Her lashes fluttered as she looked down at his bare skin and then back up at his face. “I wanted to ask you something, but it required privacy.”
He thought of what he’d been about to do on the beach, before they’d been interrupted. Here she was, tucked in his room where no one would find them. He snaked his other arm just under her ass and lifted her into his arms. She let out a small gasp as her other arm wrapped about his neck. “Is it more questions about pleasure? Did you want to know the specific ways a man might give a woman what she needs?”
Her heart hammered against his chest as her fingers dug into his skin. “I do want to know that.”
Everything in him tightened and his manhood was at full staff, which would be completely obvious in nothing but a towel. Her fingers were dancing little circles on his flesh as they reached the bed. “Did you come up here so that I might show you?”
She shook her head, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. He tracked the movement, resisting the urge to nip at the flesh. “No. Maybe.” Then she leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. “I told myself when I came here that I wouldn’t be distracted.”
He kissed her again and eased her back on the bed. “I have to confess that I am really enjoying these lessons. Though, I should likely hold some back. You’ve yet to fulfill a single bit of your side of the bargain.”
This time, her legs settled easily around his body, his rod poking into her skirts. The fabric irritated him and he reached for her hem, pulling it up. He’d suspected down on the beach but as his fingers grazed past her stockings, he realized she wasn’t wearing any pantaloons. His fingers hit her bare, creamy thighs and they both groaned. “Until you bring Cassandra here, it’s very difficult for me to uphold my end.”
“True,” he murmured as he kissed a trail down her throat. “What I wouldn’t give to strip you naked and see every inch of you.”
His fingers just brushed her soft folds and she gasped, parting for him in the most delicious way. “Can a woman give a man pleasure in multiple ways?”
He nearly came undone. The very idea of her pleasing him in any fashion made him throb. “God, Charlie. You could undo a man.”
He stroked his fingers down her seam, reveling in her slick folds. She was so wet for him and he wanted her so much.
In response, her fingers danced down his body until they reached the towel and then she parted the fabric, reaching between them and wrapping her hand about his rod. Nearly every part of his mind turned off, the blood rushing south. He thrust into her hand, desperate for release and she seemed to understand, letting her hand slide along his staff.
“Do you like that?” she asked.
“Bloody hell,” he ground out. “Charlie. You’re so naturally good at…” He squeezed his eyes shut. He had to gain control. He’d tup her before he’d thought it out and then he’d have to marry her. “I can’t do this.” But he couldn’t make himself pull away, either, as one of his fingers sank into her wet channel.
She moaned, melting into him even as she kissed him again, stroking her fingers up and down, making him pulse with need. “Is it because of your first wife?”
Those words were like a bucket of icy water dumped upon his head.
Chapter Eleven
Charlie felt him withdraw a second before he actually jumped away from her. Her hand caught on the towel about his waist and he stood back completely naked, his hands coming to his hips.
Her skirts were still up, her legs parted to accommodate his body. Charlie didn’t bother to close them or push down her skirts. He was still far more exposed then she was and that was what this conversation was really about. Stripping away the barriers between them.
She dropped the towel and pushed up onto her elbows. His shoulders lowered a bit as he looked from her breasts down to the area between her legs, now completely exposed to him.
For her part, she attempted to keep her eyes off his member jutting out from his body. It was both intimidating and exciting and she longed to hold it in her hand again. Even taste… She snapped her gaze back to his eyes.
“Pull down your skirt,” he said through clenched teeth.
In response, she pulled the hem higher, allowing her knees to fall further apart. “I want to know the truth. Why won’t you marry again?”
He made a deep rumble in the back of his throat. Then he reached out and grabbed her ankle, pulling her closer to the edge of the bed. “Is that the game we’re playing?”
She shook her head. “Actually, I wanted it to be the opposite of a game. Just you and me and the truth.”
One of his eyebrows went up. “Sans clothing?”
“Well, that is one way to strip down…so to speak.” His fingers skimmed back up her leg.
“Very well.” When he reached the top of her stocking, he traced his fingers along the edge. “I married my first sweetheart. Her name was Jennifer, but I called her Jenni.”
The next words caught in her throat. “Were you in love?”
“Yes,” he answered, his fingers stilling.
“What did she look like?” She swallowed a raw lump, her voice barely working. Now she wished to close her legs but she held still.
“She was very fair, and very fragile, and I tended her like a rare flower.”
S
he winced, those words hurting far more than she’d expected. The love he’d felt for Jenni was so obvious that she could barely breathe. “And then what?”
He raised a shoulder. “She became enceinte. Pregnant with my child. Neither made it through the birth.”
Charlie ached for him. Her own jealousies were forgotten as she scrambled up onto her knees, her skirts falling back over her legs and she wrapped her arms about his neck, holding him tight to her chest. “I am so sorry.”
Slowly his arms wrapped about her too as his face buried into her neck. “I didn’t expect your response to be sympathetic. I—”
She shook her head. “I told you I lost my parents when I was thirteen. They left a giant hole in my heart and in my life.”
“Try to understand, Charlie. I was responsible for them. Both of them. And I failed.” He shuddered against her and she held him tighter.
“You can’t be responsible for that. That is life.”
He leaned away then. “I suppose it is. But you have to know that I’ve coped with that loss by being a rake of the first order.”
That made her smile, just a bit. “And I’ve been an angel since the loss of my parents.”
His eyes twinkled a bit as he stared at her. “Well, until me, you were doing all right. But I did note, you try to fill the void in your heart with parties and suitors and adventure.” He squeezed her tighter.
“Yes,” she answered a tear coming to her eye. “But the thing I am beginning to understand is that all of those are temporary. They come and they go and then I am left aching again.”
He leaned back then, looking down into her face. “And what would be more permanent?”
She swallowed a lump. “I think that you could.”
He cupped her face in his hand, giving her the smallest kiss. “Sweet Charlie, I tried to warn you. I am not permanent. You can’t think of me like that.”
His words cut through her as she slowly loosened her arms and eased back onto the bed.
He wanted to be a different man. Raithe scrubbed his cheek as he looked down at Charlie, hurt pulling at the corners of her mouth and eyes. “When she died, Charlie, I promised myself that I’d never marry again. That I wouldn’t tarnish her memory by going on and having the family she never would.”
Charlie shook her head. Her fingers, trembling, reached out to his. “The more I allow myself to think about my parents, the more I wonder if the best thing I could to honor them is to find a wonderful man who makes me happy and marry him. Start a family.” She raised up again, stepping off the bed. “Has it occurred to you that you might honor her with your future?”
His chest ached as his fists clenched. “I wouldn’t honor her by being happy with another woman.”
“I think you would. Far more than being a rake. She would be unhappy, I’d bet, to know that you didn’t cherish a woman but used lots of them.”
Those words hit him like a fist in the chest. Worse than any blow Craven had dealt during their sparring session. They rang with a truth that was difficult to deny. Jenni was a good woman, and she’d want him to lead a good life. Hell, she’d wanted him to be a father. Did he honor her by not having children?
He looked down at Charlie. She wanted to be cherished, did she? Somehow, he wanted that too, to hold Charlie close to his body and rock her as she broke apart in his arms.
Raithe knew that wasn’t what she’d meant. But thinking about her words caused that ache to pulse deep in his chest and he felt this driving need to be close to Charlie, as though her body would provide the balm for the aches deep in his soul. “Sit back on the bed.”
Her brows drew together but, as she assessed him, her gaze slid down his body and her eyes widened again. Belatedly he realized even thinking about her finish had caused his cock to stand at attention once again.
“Raithe?”
“This was not part of the agreement, sharing our pasts, our feelings.”
She took a step back raising her hands. “Technically, your demonstrations weren’t part of the bargain either.”
He captured her hand and pulled Charlie toward him. “You sealed a bargain with a known debaucher with a kiss, Lady Charlotte. This was always going to happen. Why don’t you lie back and enjoy it?”
She swallowed. “I know that I let you lift my skirts but…”
“Charlie.” He grazed a kiss down her temple. “You let me look at your whole beautiful world and I want more.”
“Yes but…” She touched his chest, her hand shaking. “I have to be able to marry, Raithe. I’ve only just realized that was the answer and I can’t ruin my chances now.”
“Do you want to marry me?” The question was out before he’d thought it through. He lifted her, then lay her on the bed, drawing up her skirts once again. He’d seen and now he wanted to taste.
“Yes,” she said the single word falling between them. “I do.”
He leaned down, placing a kiss on the inside of her knee. He wanted to marry her too. Keep her all for himself. “Charlie,” he groaned, sliding his hands up her thighs, her skin silky against his much rougher hands.
“Do you want to marry me?” she whispered even as he kissed her thigh.
Everything in him tightened in longing. Yes. He wanted to marry her. He knew that, now. But he wasn’t sure it changed anything. Instead of answering, he placed a soft kiss on her mound, light and so tender. She bucked against him, gasping for breath.
He kissed her again and then reached his tongue to flick her soft folds, parting them just a bit.
She moaned as her hips arched up. His own body was so tight with wanting that he moaned with her. Did he want to marry her? He was beginning to believe she was like air. He needed her to breathe.
Her words replayed in his head even as her scent surrounded him, pulling him deeper into his adoration. Could he still honor Jenni and marry Charlie?
Starting a rhythm with his tongue, he held her hips in his hands, her fingers finding his hair and scratching into his scalp.
Sweet Charlie. Her body was climbing higher and as she neared her finish, he slid one of his fingers inside and she exploded around him.
He closed his eyes, just feeling this beautiful woman surrounding him.
“Raithe?” her voice trembled on the single word.
“Yes, love?” He kissed her thigh again, marveling at the softness.
“You never answered my question.”
He leaned up, meeting her hazel eyes. “I didn’t.”
Slowly, she pulled herself up onto her elbows. Her face was flushed, her eyes glassy. “Do you want to marry me?”
He shook his head, his insides heavy and aching. “Charlie. I’m not sure I can.”
She sat up then, pulling her skirts down. Pain lanced her face, as her eyes pulled taut in pain. “You’re not sure?”
“You are so perfect, love. It’s just that—”
“You told me your reasons.” She slipped off the bed, turning away from him. “I won’t seek you out again.”
Chapter Twelve
Charlie’s body ached. Her head, her stomach, her heart. She’d gone to Raithe’s room with her heart on her sleeve, and he’d politely declined the organ. He’d touched her, of course. What had she expected from a rake really?
She’d covered her mouth with her hands. Her education with a rake was complete. He’d taught her, exactly as he’d promised, all of the benefits and certainly all of the drawbacks. At least, she supposed, he hadn’t deflowered her. All wasn’t lost in terms of her future but as far as love went, she held back a fresh wave of tears, she might be ruined forever.
The sun slowly set, the sky growing darker with each passing minute. She should dress for dinner but she didn’t have the heart. Instead, she sent word down that she wasn’t feeling well and requested a tray in her room. Then she lay back on her bed.
Her mind began to spin once again. She’d be alone forever. Her brother had found his happily ever after, and so had her cousin. Only she’d be le
ft to fend for herself, no one to protect her from the world. No one to love her.
Her eyes squeezed shut as she lay on her bed, an ocean breeze filling the room from the doors out onto the balcony.
“Charlie,” a deep voice called from the shadows.
Her heart squeezed in her chest. Raithe. “Go away,” she replied. “I don’t want to see you.”
He stepped into the room. “Well. I need to see you.”
“Why?” She shook her head, frowning. “You haven’t completely finished rejecting me?”
“Charlie.” He crossed over to the bed. “I wasn’t rejecting you. My past. It holds me in place. I…”
She lifted her head, raising up on her arms. Her eyes were puffy and she likely looked dreadful but she didn’t care. “Do all rakes have a dark and painful past that makes them who they are?”
One side of his mouth turned up. “I don’t know. My guess is some of them are just bad.”
She nodded. “That makes sense. I’d like to imagine the ones with secret pain are the ones that can heal, but in your case…” She paused, swinging her feet over the other side of the bed so that the entire mattress would separate them, “that doesn’t seem to be the case.”
“Did you intend to reform me?” he asked, leaning down on the bed.
She looked down at the floor. “No. Of course not. I just…” She’d fallen in love. Her hands pressed to her stomach. “I just wanted to get to know you. To learn and to—”
“You wanted to fill your own void, Charlie. Loss has changed you too. Do you think your demons are something you can let go? Can you not go chasing trouble every time you’re hurt or lonely?”
Her hands clenched into fists. “I’m here, aren’t I? In this bed, letting my feelings out instead of running from them.”
He dropped his hands to his sides. “So you are.”
Who Wants a Brawling Baron: Romancing the Rake Page 7