“…get beaten to death.” Dom interrupted, completing the man’s thought and stepping in front of Taylor. “You heard her.” His deep voice took on a threatening edge. “No one in her kingdom is to be kidnapped or harmed on this trip unless she wants them to be. Don’t burn anything, don’t kidnap anything, don’t steal anything, don’t murder anything, unless she tells you to.” He met the other man’s eyes. “I don’t like you anyway, so believe me, I will have no problem simply killing you and finding my own way to our destination.”
Surprisingly, Uriah didn’t seem intimidated by being threatened by an angry giant. His hands immediately fell to his swords. “Rance?” He called, obviously looking for the go-ahead to kill them.
“Turn him loose.” His partner directed after a moment of silence.
“Cut him free, lads.” Uriah shouted to his crew immediately, then turned to glare at Taylor. His eyes narrowed, looking deeply unhappy about being ordered down. “I will remember this.” He warned.
“So will I.” Dom snarled. “You so much as look at her again, and I’ll step on you.”
Uriah flopped back down into his seat. “Honestly, I don’t know why you’re so protective of this place anyway.”
“It’s a dump.” Ransom agreed.
“This whole country is now, Dove.” He refocused on Taylor and Dom. “Stupid Cormoran idiots.” Uriah sulked. “Here’s a tip for next time: don’t fight a kingdom that can buy and sell your scrawny provincial asses.”
“We didn’t start this war.” Taylor corrected. “We are the victims! Baseland attacked us without warning after our royal family died in The Feast of Burning Kings!”
“Not to hear them tell it.” Uriah began to deal his cards again. “Listen, since you seem impossibly naïve about the world allow me to let you in on a little secret, since I’ve sailed from one end of it to the other. There are no ‘right’ sides to this war. No good guys or bad guys. No moral high ground on which you and your little brother can heroically make your stand. Everyone is equally at fault and everyone is wrong. Because it is a war fought over nothing. It’s merely what happens to the world when societies collide to vent their rage and prejudices. And it only seems to you like the Baselanders are evil because you’re on the other side. In Baseland, you are the soulless monsters who slaughter the innocent. You are the heartless beasts which take away their loved ones and kill their families. You are the ones who started the fighting and the ones insisting that it continue.” He met her gaze. “There are a few dozen kingdoms involved in this war, Taylor, and they all believe they are the victims. And perhaps they’re all right. Because the whole world is afraid.” He refocused on his cards. “And they should be.”
Ransom turned her cards around so that he could see. “Well?”
He silently looked at the straight she displayed, then spread his arms wide in amazed exasperation. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He looked up at the sky, as if cursing the world. “Is it me?”
“What?” Ransom asked softly. “What is it this time?”
“I fold.” He tossed his cards onto the table. “This is approaching the ridiculous now.” He let out a long sigh. “I really, really hate this fucking kingdom.”
“Like you have somewhere better to be, you little reprobate.” Dom snapped, kicking over the crate the pirates were using as a table and scattering their playing cards. “Leave Tay-Lore’s kingdom alone.”
“Do you know what your problem is, Captain?” Taylor asked him seriously.
“Well, there’s a bottomless pit we shouldn’t go down.” Ransom muttered sarcastically. “Be here all day.”
Uriah turned to his companion and chuckled merrily.
“You don’t believe in anything, so you won’t fight for anything.” Taylor informed him. “You’re just… horrible.”
“It’s his people.” Ransom chimed in. “They’re all like that. They think rape is ‘foreplay’ and murder is ‘letting the person off easy.’”
The pirate made an unconvinced sound. “Well, no one’s conquered the Grizzwood yet, you notice. So we must be doing something right.”
“Wait.” Dom countered. “Word has it that the place is next on the chopping block.”
“Trying to conquer the Grizzwood is like trying to invade an outhouse,” Uriah leaned back in his chair, “no one would want to do it and even if they did, they’d only find themselves in deep shit.”
“Eloquent.” His partner praised, her voice deadpan.
“Thank you, Dove.” He bowed his head in gratitude. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”
Ransom nodded. “There’s also that coat.”
Uriah looked affronted. “What’s wrong with my coat?”
“You took it off a corpse, for one.”
“I aired it out first!” He argued, as if defending his honor. He pointed at her. “And the man was a skeleton, not a corpse. It wasn’t like he needed it.”
Ransom nodded, looking unconvinced. “If your argument as to why something is or isn’t gross hinges on whether you robbed a skeleton or a corpse, then you’ve already lost the argument, ‘Rai.”
He made a face at her.
“So, are you going to leave this village alone or aren’t you?” Taylor asked again, wanting to end this conversation and escape the man. “Because I’m getting really tired of talking to you about this. In fact, I’m getting really tired of talking to you at all.”
He rolled his eyes, then glanced at his companion. “Quartermaster?”
The scarred girl shrugged. “They leave us alone, we’ll leave them alone.”
He looked back at Taylor. “If they leave…”
“I heard her.” Taylor cut him off, sick to death of listening to him simply repeat what the girl said. “Just stay out of trouble.”
“Yes, mom.” Uriah and his partner chorused in unison, then laughed in amusement that they’d said the same thing.
Taylor shook her head sadly.
She was surrounded by children. And stupid children at that.
She just wanted to get to the capital so she could free Dom, get him his mountain back, and find a way to keep him from being controlled by the Magic Wand Thing.
And save the kingdom.
She kept forgetting about that aspect of the plan for some reason.
Perhaps because it was the only part of the plan which didn’t directly involve Dom, and was thus the least important.
Chapter Fifteen
It had been decided that it would be best to stay the night in town and get a fresh start in the morning. That hadn’t been a unanimous vote, as Dom had pointed out that everyone in town hated them and it would be the first place their pursuers checked for them, but Taylor was so tired she simply didn’t care.
Let them come.
She’d been on the road too long and her life before that hadn’t exactly been a bed of roses anyway.
She was tired and sore and sick of sleeping on the ground.
She had complete faith in Dom’s ability to keep the villagers in line, should it come to that, and they had never seen any evidence of someone following them, no matter what Ransom said. They’d be at the Crossroads tomorrow, which meant it was the perfect time to relax.
Rationally, she knew it was the worst time to relax, but she was too tired to care. She needed to sleep and there were beds here. That was as far as her brain got.
At the moment, she was sitting in what passed for the town’s tavern, a broken-down building with the bar below and a series of rooms above. The row of doorways were visible from the first floor, running along a small landing and balcony area.
She could only assume the layout was designed for prostitution, but again, she was too tired to care.
“So, what do you think?” She asked her brother.
He looked up from his drink. “Sorry?” He sounded confused. “What are we talking about again?”
She made a face at him. “We’re talking about the Magic Wand Thing.”
“The thin
g we’re not supposed to talk about?”
“That’s the one.” She agreed. “What do you think?”
“Well…” He took a sip of his beverage. “It’s sparkly.”
She swatted at him in annoyance. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.” She leaned forward in her chair. “Do you think there’s any way around it?”
“In what respect?”
“In the respect that is there any way to keep Dom from listening to it?” She whispered, just in case any of the pirates which surrounded them were eavesdropping.
“I have no idea.” He admitted. “I’m not an expert on it.” He brightened. “Hey, why don’t you use it to force Dom to tell you everything about it? That could work.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re missing the entire point.” She rested her cheek in her palm. “The point is that we need to keep Dom away from it, because it’s controlling him. The last thing we need is to find another way to control him with it.” She shook her head. “No, this is on you and me to solve.”
“Why am I involved in this?” He asked seriously. “I don’t care if he’s controlled or not, I just want to keep him from eating us.”
“Because if you don’t help me, I’m going to keep talking to you about it.” She warned. “And I could get a whole lot more graphic.”
“Eww.” He made a disgusted face. “Let’s never share that much.” He took another swallow of his drink. “Well, let’s be analytical here. We have a Magic Wand Thing that can force him to do whatever we want. Do we actually know anything about it? Who made it? Why?”
“No.” She shook her head.
“And we can’t ask Dom about it for some reason.”
“I don’t want him involved in this.”
She did not want to be alone with him. Every time he got close to her it was harder and harder to resist him. If they didn’t reach the capital soon, she was just going to randomly throw herself at him mid-conversation and make wildly acrobatic love to him right there on the road.
Her mind began to imagine that…
Yeah, she was in trouble.
“It’s probably best if we keep him out of the loop on this.” She warned again.
“Okay.” He nodded. “Well, how about we just use the wand to make him not listen to the wand anymore?” He suggested. “Like: ‘I command you to be free, dude! No more listening to orders. Please don’t kill us.’”
“That’s still using the wand though, even if it could work, which I don’t think it will.” She argued. “I just want to break its control.”
“You sure?” He arched an eyebrow.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that at every juncture of this little field trip, you’ve refused to listen to reason about him and it.” He leaned forward. “It means that you’re trifling with a people, a magic, and a religion you don’t even understand. And to be frank with you, I’m getting the sense that you’re afraid what will happen if and when you break the wand’s hold over him.”
She opened her mouth to reply to that, then stopped. “You’re wrong.” She finally whispered.
“Okay.” He poured himself another drink. “Forget I said anything.”
“All I want is what’s best for Dom.” She argued.
“And you’re not at all worried that that won’t be you.” He summarized, obviously humoring her. “I get it.”
“I won’t keep him against his will.” She continued.
“You don’t even know that the wand isn’t keeping you against your will, Tay.” His tone took on a serious and concerned tone. “You. Don’t. Know.” He spread his arms wide. “So, my advice, which you have asked for but have thus far ignored, is to just play it cool and not get involved.”
“I’m not involved.” She began.
He arched a disbelieving eyebrow again.
“Well… that was an aberration.” She quickly explained. “A moment of weakness, which won’t happen again.”
“And hopefully won’t be discussed again or elaborated upon, because your ‘moments of weakness’ are literally the last things I want to hear about.”
She looked down at the table in silence for a moment. “All my friends are dead, Ryle.” She admitted, her voice on the verge of breaking. “You’re all I have.”
He put his cup down. “I know.” He swallowed, looking awkward again. “Ditto. Which is why I’m sitting here discussing this with you, instead of partying somewhere with Anna and our baby.” He met her eyes. “I will help you with this, no matter how you want to proceed.” He held up a hand. “Just… just please no specifics.”
“Gotcha.” She nodded.
“And either way, my advice is to ignore it.” He cleared his throat, still looking awkward. “Simple magically induced lust or whatever.”
“It’s… it’s not just ‘lust’ though.” She defended. “Well, it is, but…” She paused. “I know him, if that makes any sense. It’s like… it’s like he’s… mine. Like he’s me.” She tried to explain. “Like I feel him. Need him and not just in a sexual way.”
He held up a hand, looking ill. “Okay, I know I’m trying to be your friend here and not your brother right now, but I really want to stop talking about that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Do you know anything about magic?”
He shook his head. “Anna had a book once.” He shrugged. “But I didn’t read it.” He took another drink. “Written in some weird-ass language.”
“Because I’m thinking that if the wand is magic, all we need to do is come up with better magic to break its spell, right?”
“You want to use dark magic to convince your boyfriend to love you?” He summarized, his voice deadpan.
“No!” She cried indignantly. “I want to use magic to free him from dark magic.” She met his eyes. “Preferably soon.” She added meaningfully. “As soon as possible, in fact.”
“Ew.” He made another face. “Again, an unneeded detail.”
“All I’m saying is that there is a certain timetable attached to this operation, one which is rapidly closing, before the point becomes moot and I am no longer able to control myself.” She warned. “So, I’d really rather get it right morally before that point, so that I don’t feel bad after.” She paused. “Although… I can’t imagine feeling bad after…”
“What did I tell you!?!” He snapped, pointing a finger at her. “NO! I don’t want to hear that!”
“Sorry.” She looked down at her drink. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.” She shrugged. “Any ideas?”
“I don’t know, Tay…” He made an uncertain face, trailing off. “Dark magic? That sounds kinda… evil.”
She nodded.
“I don’t know anyone…” He paused.
They both came up with the idea at the same moment.
“Uriah!” Taylor immediately called, turning in her chair to look for the pirate. “Can you come over here, please?”
Ryle leaned forward in his chair to whisper to her. “Don’t tell him why.” He warned. “That would be bad.”
“I know.” She waved off his concern. “I’m not an idiot.”
The pirate sauntered over to their table, absently putting the concertina he’d been playing into his pocket. He slouched down across from her, resting his feet on a second chair. “Yes?”
They stared at him in silence.
Taylor had no idea how to phrase this.
“Sooo… I’m just going to ask,” Ryle finally said, “can I play with your bird thing?” He pointed at Dinner, Uriah’s pet, which was currently perched in the rafters.
“No.” The pirate told him simply.
“Oh, you suck.” Ryle went back to drinking, obviously sulking.
“Do you know anything about… magic?” Taylor tried.
“No.” The pirate turned to look at her. “But I know people.”
“Like… stuff that maybe someone, somewhere, who had an overactive moralistic imagination, might consider just the tiniest, it
ty-bitty, bit…”
“Who do you want cursed?” He interrupted, guessing where this was headed. “I know a girl who could do it. She’s a bit vacuous, but her magic pedigree is top notch.” He leaned forward, as if closing a deal. “For a small finder’s fee, I could put you in touch with her. Agatha. She’s…”
“No, no.” Taylor shook her head. “It’s nothing like that.” She cleared her throat. “I’m not looking to curse someone. Just…” She tried to think of a way to phrase it. “Just help me to understand a magic object I…”
Ryle coughed suddenly, cutting her off. He obviously thought that was too much information.
“Say… say I found a magic lamp…” She continued.
“Throw the damn thing away.” Uriah advised in warning. “You don’t want to fuck with genies.” But he straightened in his chair, looking interested all of a sudden. “But, just for my own edification… where did you find this magic lamp?” He took a swig of the bottle in his hand. “Were there others?” He arched an eyebrow. “Would you be interested in selling it? I could give you a more than fair price for it.”
“You just said not to fuck with them!” Ryle argued. “And now you want to buy it!?!”
“I said she didn’t want to fuck with them.” The pirate explained. “I, on the other hand, could use and appreciate the wonders it could bestow on me.”
“Such as?” Ryle asked.
“Things.” The pirate cryptically elaborated.
Ryle rolled his eyes.
“My point,” Taylor tried again, “is that I’m looking for someone who can explain to me the ins and outs of magic. Who can show me how and why an object might have powers, and how to take them away so that it held no power over someone.”
The pirate nodded, taking another long drink. “Well, that’s most decidedly not Agatha then.” He shrugged, slouching down into his chair again. “She’s a scatterbrain. I wouldn’t trust her to explain shoes to someone.” He snorted in dismissal. “Little idiot. One time, she messed something up and accidentally cast a spell which removed all the doors and windows from her house. She nearly suffocated.” He rolled his eyes. “Frankly, I’m amazed she hasn’t mistakenly turned herself into a cow or something by now.” He shrugged. “But the Gods always protect the fools, I suppose.”
Travels With a Fairytale Monster Page 21