He nodded. Jared felt the same way. He sank onto the bed beside her, eyes fixed on the floor and tried to grasp the enormity of what they’d just learned.
He couldn’t.
Best to say it fast because there was no easy lead-in for news like this. “The child is ours, Rachel. The tests are almost one-hundred percent accurate. We have a son.”
* * *
A son.
Rachel slowly let that sink in. A baby she’d never carried inside her. Never held in her arms. Never even seen. And yet, he was already there in her heart.
Tears threatened, and she hurried to the chair where Jared had left his jacket to pull the photograph from the envelope. Despite her watery eyes, the image suddenly seemed so much clearer.
And more painful.
She had a child, and Esterman’s people might hurt him before they could find him.
“I’d given up hope of ever having a baby,” she admitted. She ran her fingers over the picture. “Especially when you refused to let me use the embryos after we separated.”
“Yes.”
That was it. The sum total of Jared’s response. But Rachel didn’t hold it against him. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to respond, either. Most couples had nine months to build up to a moment like this. Nine months of hoping, planning and dreaming.
Their dream was one big nightmare.
“We have to find him,” Rachel mumbled. She stood and went to the desk. There was nothing to arrange other than two pens and some paper. She settled for that. “We have to get him away from Esterman. We have to bring him...”
She almost said home before she realized she had no home. Not anymore. In a sense, Esterman had taken that from her, as well.
“Let’s walk through this,” Rachel insisted, trying not to panic. But she could feel the panic so close to the surface. “I need to know what we’re going to do. I mean, I know we have to find our child. Then, the next step is, we’ll go to the cops and explain why we’ve been on the run. You’ll get to keep your badge, and I’ll testify against Esterman.” She turned around and faced Jared. “And then what?”
He shrugged. “Then, we find Esterman’s partner and put him behind bars, as well.”
Yes. But what Jared didn’t say was that that might not happen. They might never find this other person. And that meant she’d never be safe.
Nor would their son.
So, they were back to square one, a place Rachel was very tired of being. With Esterman’s partner on the loose, she and the baby would likely have to go into the Witness Protection Program. A new life and a new identity. But that left her with one huge question—
What about Jared?
“Just take it one step at a time,” Rachel heard him say. “That’s all we can do.”
Sound advice. But it was also impossible to embrace. She might be a new mother, but her instincts were screaming for her to protect her child.
“Why don’t you go back online and search for information on Dr. Sheridan?” Jared suggested. “You might find something that Tanner missed. Also, I think it’s a good idea for you to look for recent parolees that Esterman could be using as a nanny.”
She knew he was trying to distract her, to get her mind on something productive. And he was right. Worrying would accomplish nothing. Too bad it felt impossible to do what was sensible.
She plowed her hands through her hair and groaned. “He could be right under our noses, Jared, and we wouldn’t even know it.”
“I know, but I’ll do whatever it takes to find him,” he promised.
She believed him, but what worried her was that that might not be enough. Whatever they did might not be enough, and that was too painful to accept.
“We can’t give up,” Jared added, as if reading her mind. “If we do, Esterman wins.”
Yes, and their son would lose. It was the right thing to say, to get her moving in a more constructive direction. She wouldn’t let Esterman win this one. Not when her child’s life was at stake.
Rachel took one last look at the photograph, put it back in the envelope and got to work.
Chapter 13
“Four names,” Rachel murmured.
Sitting next to her, Jared read through the information on the computer screen. All four people were recent parolees. All were released with Clarence Esterman’s assurance to the parole board that the four would have gainful employment through his company. Any one of the four could be the caregiver for the baby.
Or none of them.
In other words, nothing definitive yet. Maybe Dr. Sheridan could help them in that area. If he was still alive, that is. And if Tanner’s people could actually find the man. It’d been nearly three hours since Jared had spoken to Tanner, so obviously they were having trouble locating Sheridan.
Not a good sign.
“That’s it—just four names?” he asked. “I was worried there might be more.”
“There might be. I went for the obvious so I could narrow down the search. They’re all female, none over the age of seventy. None of them have any serious health problems. Two of them are nurses, one was a licensed child-care provider, and the other has some day-care experience. I think these are our best bets.”
“Can you go ahead and get current addresses on all of them?”
Rachel nodded. “I already have them for the first three, but there isn’t anything recent for this one.” She tapped the last name on the list: Agnes McCullough. “I’ve checked property listings, employment records, Internet listings, you name it. She’s just not there.” Rachel paused. “But then, if Esterman’s managed to get to Dr. Sheridan, maybe he’s also gotten to anyone else who could incriminate him.”
True. But Jared tried not to dwell on that depressing thought.
“Esterman isn’t perfect,” he reminded Rachel. While he was at it, it was a good reminder to himself, as well. “You were able to uncover his dirty dealings, proving not only that he’s vulnerable but that he’s capable of making mistakes.”
And maybe Clarence Esterman would make yet one more mistake that would put him away for good and help them find their child.
Rachel groaned softly and rubbed the back of her neck. It wasn’t an ordinary moan, either. It was laced with fatigue and frustration. Of course, she had been staring at that screen for hours while they waited for Tanner’s call. Added to that, she’d been working too hard and eating too little. The takeout Chinese food that he’d picked up from across the street was still sitting there on the desk. Unopened.
Jared moved her hand away and took over the neck massage. “You’re worrying and thinking too much. Believe me, it doesn’t help.”
“I know, but I can’t seem to make it stop. All these crazy thoughts keep going through my head. I swear, I’ll need a padded cell before this is over.”
Jared knew the feeling and decided they both could use a little levity. He went for the obvious. “Well, I would distract you with some carnal suggestions, but I figure Tanner will call any minute. I hate getting interrupted while in the throes of passion, don’t you?”
It worked. She made a small sound of amusement. Not quite a laugh, but it wasn’t one of those frustrated groans. It didn’t last, though. A moment later her eyelids floated down, and she shook her head.
“Distract me with something,” she whispered, her voice strained. “Please.”
It was the please that got him right where it hurt. God, he hated to see her like this.
“All right. Here goes.” Jared went for the not-so-obvious this time, but it was something that he’d been dwelling on a lot lately. “Remember the first time I kissed you? It was your senior year at the university. We were sitting in my car, just outside your dorm. I reached for you. You reached back. At the end of all that reaching, you were in my arms. Right where I’d wanted to get you all night.” He paused a heartbeat. �
��We fogged up the windows.”
Rachel glanced over her shoulder at him. She bunched up her forehead. “Are you trying to distract me or get me hot and bothered?”
Jared smiled, and after the nightmare they’d been through, it felt good to share a light moment with her. “Hell, if you have to ask, I’ve failed already.”
She stared at him and studied him before her face relaxed slightly. “I definitely remember our first kiss. You treated me like...glass. Well, for a second or two, anyway. Then we sort of devoured each other. It was French and fantastic.”
Jared suppressed a groan. Her memory was way too good for this distraction game. “Well, that’s what hellions like me do to innocent college girls like you.” He continued the massage, working his fingers across the tight muscles. “We corrupt them with French kisses, all the while trying to cop a feel or two.”
Rachel managed a short-lived smile. “I still dream about it.”
So did he. It was pretty darn memorable if after six years he could still remember the exact taste of her. That wasn’t all. He could also remember every last detail about how her breasts felt when he closed his fingers around her.
The distraction was working. Well, for Rachel it apparently was. It was giving Jared a whole new kind of distraction to deal with. There was suddenly a three-ring circus going on in his boxer shorts.
“And then the second time you kissed me,” she continued, “we were at the lake. You’d taken me out on your friend’s boat. It was more than just one kiss, though. More like twenty. It qualified as making out.”
“And then some.” He’d taken a long, cold shower after he dropped her off at the dorm.
It hadn’t helped.
And neither was this conversation. It was probably best if this stopped while he could still walk.
“Come on. Let’s try some other way to burn off this excess energy.” He stood and braced his hands, palms out, in front of his chest. “Without inflicting any permanent damage, show me what you can do. Give me your best shot.”
She stood. Slowly. “My what?”
Another wince. “Okay, bad choice of words. I meant, give me your best boxing move, and I’ll see if I can block it. Remember that part about no permanent damage, though. And no aiming at any part of my body that contains vital organs. Let’s go.”
Rachel continued to stare at him. “You’re sure?”
“You bet.” Well, not really, but this had to be a better way to lighten her spirits than talking about French kissing sessions. “Let’s get the juices flowing with a little one-on-one.”
Even though she still looked uncertain, there was nothing tentative about her maneuver. Rachel gave him a warning signal just a second before she slammed her fists into his palms. First one and then the other. Then she pivoted and thrust her elbow against his hand.
Jared grunted at the force, and he managed a grin.
Barely.
“Classic Shaolin attack. The soles of your feet were aligned with your palms. The move wasn’t too high to give me an opening,” he complimented. “And if I hadn’t blocked it, it would have hurt like hell. Okay, let me see if I can stop you. Come at me.”
She did so with no hesitation, her right hand aimed at his face. Jared executed a defensive move of his own, deflecting the blow with his forearm. He pivoted, trapping her hand under his arm and then grabbing her wrist.
Rachel looked up at him, scowled. She came back at him immediately with a sidekick aimed at his midsection. Jared was thankful that she pulled back before impact, or she could have done some serious damage. He deflected the kick with his hand.
“A Bruce Lee move?” he asked, surprised.
She shrugged. “Whatever works. The trainer taught me a variety of techniques for defending myself. I think she did a good job with her instruction.”
Obviously. And Rachel had done a good job learning. “This is a little more dangerous than I thought it’d be. Either we’d better try a different distraction technique, or we might have to consider sex, after all. This is starting to feel a little like rough foreplay.”
He’d meant it as a joke. A really bad joke. But there was no humor in Rachel’s eyes. There was, however, a fire. A scorching heat that had him inching toward her.
Just as the phone rang.
“Tanner always did have lousy timing,” he mumbled. Then, “This better be good news,” Jared said into the phone.
“I guess it’d qualify as good. For us, anyway. Esterman might not feel the same way.”
He went completely still, and any aggravation he felt over the interruption was long gone by the time Tanner made it to the end of his sentence. Jared was almost afraid to voice the conclusion he drew, for fear it would vanish before they could do anything about it.
“You found Dr. Sheridan?” Jared asked.
“Yep. He’s not only alive and well, he’s with me. Ready to come over here and meet him?”
“You bet.” He grabbed the notepad and jotted down the address that Tanner gave him. “I’ll see you in about ten minutes.”
Rachel quickly grabbed her shoes. “Tanner has Dr. Sheridan?”
Jared nodded but didn’t waste any time. He took Rachel’s arm and hurried out the door.
Chapter 14
The idea of any kind of foreplay went straight out the window. In its place, Rachel felt another huge surge of adrenaline. Another wave of panic. And some hope. They raced out of the room and to the car.
“Where did Tanner set up this meeting?” Rachel asked as Jared drove away from the hotel. She pressed her foot against the dash so she could tie her shoelaces.
“At Sheridan’s private office downtown. It’s closed today, so we’ll get a chance to talk to him without anyone interrupting us.” He paused. “Well, hopefully there won’t be any interruptions.”
Yes. The memory of the fiasco at Livingston’s house hadn’t dimmed much. Nor had the nauseating reaction she still had to Sergeant Meredith’s attack.
“There won’t be a repeat performance like the one at Livingston’s,” he assured her. “Tanner’s going to stand guard while we’re inside.”
That was something, at least. Maybe that meant they could find some answers and get away from there before Esterman’s people arrived. And maybe those answers would lead them straight to the baby before another day went by.
And then what?
She settled back against the seat and contemplated that. It was a question that had come to mind at least a dozen times in the past twenty-four hours, but since learning the child was theirs, it’d taken on a new urgency along with new complications. What did the future hold for them?
Through all of this, through the search and the steamy kissing sessions, he hadn’t said a word about wanting to be part of their baby’s life.
Or hers.
However, Rachel doubted he’d just let her walk away with their child. Besides, her leaving would mean the obvious—that their baby wouldn’t be with his father, and she wouldn’t be near Jared, either.
An ache made its way across her chest and sank right into her heart. Was that too much to hope for, that he would ever want her back in his life?
Maybe.
God, maybe it was.
Rachel saw her reflection in the vanity mirror over the visor. She watched the cold, hard realization take hold of her face. Jared might never risk loving her again.
Never.
This could possibly be as good as it ever got between them. And if so, she might have to accept the fact that the most she’d ever have of him was his child. A child that they couldn’t even raise together.
“You’re quiet over there,” he murmured. “Are you thinking too much again?”
She tied her other shoelace. “No. Now, I’m obsessing. Seems like a good time for it.”
As if it were the most natural thing in th
e world, he took her hand, brought it to his mouth and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. The gesture was obviously meant to comfort her, but all it did was remind her that there was more at stake here than just their child.
“Have you thought beyond this?” she asked. The question was too vague to make sense, but Rachel thought that maybe Jared would understand.
He didn’t answer right away. He concentrated on driving. “It’s hard not to think about it.”
Okay. That didn’t tell her much. She pressed for more. “If I’m in witness protection, what do we do about the baby? I mean, about you seeing him.”
She had to choke back a groan. She hadn’t intended to be so forthcoming, but skirting around issues definitely wasn’t her forte.
“I know what you’re asking,” Jared volunteered. “And I don’t know what to say. It’s hard to think beyond now, beyond this visit.”
Rachel quietly agreed. But it was also hard not to think beyond it—
“This is it,” she heard Jared say.
Rachel checked her watch. Barely twelve minutes since they’d left the hotel. She hoped, Tanner had had time to set up security.
Jared stopped the car in the back parking lot of the one-story vanilla-colored brick building. There were only two vehicles in the lot. Tanner’s black truck and a white car that must belong to Sheridan. It certainly appeared that they’d have privacy.
The place wasn’t in the best part of town, and it was modest by anyone’s standards. Either being on Esterman’s payroll hadn’t been lucrative for the doctor, or else Sheridan was a master of deception. Not good. Rachel was praying that he’d be willing to skip the pretenses and spill his guts.
Tanner was at the back entrance, looking much like the guardian of the gate. He held open the door, motioned for them to hurry inside, and then followed right behind them.
“How did you get Sheridan to agree to this meeting?” Rachel asked.
Tanner shrugged. “Let’s just say I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”
And with that ominous response, Tanner directed them into a private office. Sheridan was there, seated behind a desk littered with manila folders and other assorted papers. He had a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
Sinister Intentions & Confiscated Conception Page 30