by Natavia
I grabbed the car seat from the back and headed towards their house. They lived in a small three-bedroom house, but my father kept it up and my mother made sure her flowers were intact. I rang the doorbell twice and waited for someone to answer it. The door finally unlocked, and it was my mother. My parents were older, they were in their late fifties. I was the last child and felt detached from my older siblings because of the big age difference.
“You must want something,” my mother said. She took the baby out of the carrier. We went into the living room and I sat across from her. My mother is a petite woman and she had beautiful hair. She was dark-skinned, too, but she had pretty brown eyes. At fifty-seven, she didn’t look it. I probably looked more like her sister than her daughter because the street life wore me down. Before I met Dade, I was partying hard. I used to drink a lot and pop pills.
“This baby is soakin’ wet,” my mother said. She reached for the diaper bag, snatching it away from me. It wasn’t a secret I was my parents’ least favorite child.
“You only visit us when you want something. We haven’t seen you since Ranira was two months old,” she said.
“I need you to keep her for a few days. I’m emotionally drained,” I admitted.
“What did you do this time? Sleep wit’ someone’s husband?” she asked.
“Why would you say that to me?”
“Because I know the kind of person you are! You are obsessed with men and they always do you wrong. You are a beautiful girl, Sincerity. You were so smart in school but that boy you were into pushed you into the streets. They don’t last long, they use you for your body then leave you! When are you going to realize this, huh? You thought Ranira’s father was some big baller, but he turned out to be a bum! They always do,” she said.
“Governor is not like that.”
“And who is Governor?” she replied sarcastically.
“The landlord. He’s been very good to me and he helps me with Ranira. He’s done more for me than Dade.”
“And y’all are in a relationship?” she asked, changing Ranira.
“Why are you givin’ me a hard time? Is it impossible for me to have a decent man?”
“Decent men fall for decent women! You want me to lie to you because I’m your mother?” she asked.
“And you wonder why I’m this way. You don’t love me!”
“I love all of my children, but it hurts me to my heart the way you turned out. We raised you right. You were brought up in a good two-parent home. Me and your father worked our asses off to make sure our children didn’t want for anything and look what you did to us and to yourself. You can come back home but you must get a job and finish school,” she said.
“I’m fine on my own. Can you just watch her for a few days?”
“Fine, your father will be happy to see her,” she said, kissing Ranira’s cheek.
I really didn’t need to drop Ranira off, but like my mother said, I came back because I needed something. Instead of coming out and asking her for money, I decided to take another route. The apartment Rochelle was living in was going to be mine and I needed a security deposit. The money Chelsie was giving me wasn’t much help anymore and I didn’t have anything saved. I wasn’t sure how long it took to sue someone, but it was my last option. In the meantime, I had to build a fake relationship with my parents. Heavy footsteps came down the stairs. My father was a tall slim man. He had a permanent scowl on his face, but he was a sweetheart; my mother was the stern one.
“Stand up and give me a hug! I miss my baby girl,” he said. I stood up and hugged my father.
“Look who we have here,” my mother said to him.
My father went over to Ranira and picked her up. I somewhat felt guilty for not giving them any of my contact information. They didn’t even know where I lived.
“She’s staying with us for a few days,” my mother smiled.
They were probably bored and lonely with having the house to themselves. Ranira was the only grandchild they had in the state.
“Are you staying, too?” my father asked me.
“No, I have to pack. I’m movin’ into a bigger apartment.”
“Do you need help? I have my old pick-up truck around the back,” he said.
“No, thanks. Anyways, I have to go and take my friend’s car back. I’ll be back in a few days,” I replied. I grabbed a pen and paper off the coffee table and wrote my number down.
“I’m cooking dinner. You don’t want to stay for that?” my mother asked.
No, so I can listen to you talk about Derrick and Maurice? I think not!
I looked around the living room and there was nothing but pictures of my brothers in their military gear and pictures of them graduating. They didn’t have many pictures of me by myself. I didn’t belong in their family.
“No, thanks. I really have to give Chelsie her car.”
I hugged my parents and kissed Ranira’s cheek. My mother walked me to the door. She was a pain in the ass and I was sick of her showing me fake love.
“You can always come back home,” she said as we stood on the porch.
“But I have to get a job, finish school and all of that stuff. I don’t have the patience for it yet.”
“The welfare system is made for those who temporarily need it. Do you plan on stayin’ on it for the rest of your life? You’re limiting yourself from great things,” she said.
“I won’t be on it for long. Governor is goin’ to make sure of that.”
“Well, can we at least meet him?” she asked.
“I’ll bring him over here wit’ me when I pick up Ranira,” I lied.
“Okay, be safe,” she said. My mother kissed my cheek and went back inside the house.
I got into Chelsie’s car and headed home so I could wait for the test results. I was giving Governor the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I got it from Dade and it took a while for the symptoms to show because it went untreated for a while.
I’m gonna kill Dade the next time I see him! Maybe I can tell everyone Rochelle has an STD, so Governor won’t think it’s me. Yup, that’s what I’ll do since I saw that hoe at the clinic…
Kitty
“Y o, Kitty, wake up!” Mayor said while slapping me on the ass. I hated getting out of bed if I didn’t have to. The only time I left the house was for work or to meet with Ian. Lately, me and Mayor had been getting along. The only time we argued was when I left the house and didn’t answer my phone when he called. But the way I saw it, the tables have turned.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Breakfast!”
“Fix it yourself!” I replied and rolled back over.
“Come on, bruh! Get yah fat ass up,” he said.
“Leave me the hell alone, Mayor! I’m fuckin’ tired!”
He grabbed me by my feet and pulled me off the bed. My ass hit the floor with a loud thump. I looked at the clock on the cable box and it was seven o’clock in the morning, which meant Mayor was probably just getting in. He was fully dressed in what I saw him in the day before. I had a feeling he was with another woman but some days I cared and some I didn’t. We were more like roommates who occasionally had sex.
“I’m tired, too, now fix me sumthin to eat. You ain’t do shit yesterday but work for a few hours. Why you always sleepin’ anyway. You pregnant?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. I stood up and he looked down at me, waiting for me to give him an answer.
“No, I’m not.”
“Let’s go to the doctor later then. You think I’m stupid, huh? I know your body and you haven’t bought tampons in a minute. You have everything underneath the bathroom sink but things for your period,” he said. I walked out the bedroom and Mayor followed behind me fussing.
“Yo, I’m not done talkin’ to you!” he said. He grabbed my arm and I snatched away from him.
“Talk to me, Kitty. What’s up witchu?” he asked.
“You and those bitches you fuck with! Your phone is always ringin’ and you’re n
ever home. That causes me to stress! Stress comes wit’ eatin’ and sleepin’ a lot.”
“I don’t mess with them hoes anymore, you trippin. I got a lot goin’ on and I be out here makin’ money. Fuck them bitches, shorty. I’m tryna do right by you. What you want me to do cause I feel like you fuckin’ wit’ another nigga. I’m killin’ shit if you are and I’m dead-ass serious, too,” he said.
“How can you be about me if you’re never home?”
“Fuck you wit’ yah ungrateful ass. I told you already why I haven’t been home. I’ve been out hustlin’! The fuck is wrong wit’ you?” he shouted. I hadn’t seen this side of him in weeks. The last time Mayor spazzed out on me was the night before I got evicted.
“That’s not good enough!” I lied. Honestly, I was very curious about Ian. I didn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket since I had a few options. But I wasn’t sure where a baby would fit into my life. I wasn’t financially stable yet and I wanted to take a few college courses.
“What you want me to do, shorty? I got a lot on my plate and all I want to do is come home and have someone to talk to,” Mayor said. He sounded stressed and I felt sorry for him. Mayor being busy in the streets was the only reason I could spend time with Ian, so I shouldn’t have been complaining.
What have I done? I’m becomin’ just like Mayor. But isn’t that his karma? Do two wrongs make a right? Am I supposed to give in so soon because of what he’s tellin’ me or do I wait and let him show me?
“I’ll fix breakfast then we can talk.”
Mayor kissed my lips before walking off to take a shower.
I went into the kitchen to get breakfast started. My legs were cramping a little along with my back.
Damn, this is what I get for washin’ all those towels yesterday.
My cellphone rang on the kitchen island. I almost forgot I brought it to the kitchen with me. Mayor had a habit of checking my phone, so I had to constantly delete things and keep my phone with me. When I looked at my phone, it was my father calling. Instead of answering, I ignored his call. The only time I made small talk with him was while I was at his car wash. He hurt my feelings when he didn’t do anything about Dade going through my things. Dade and his mother were still living there according to what Tinka told me. My father called again, and I figured it was an emergency, so I answered.
“Yes, Daddy. I’m kinda busy.”
“This is Roberta. I’m callin’ you because you still have a few things here that needs to be picked up. Dade is havin’ your old room,” she said.
“It’s early in the mornin’ and you’re callin’ me from my father’s phone about yah stankin’ ass son? Bitch, I’ll kill you and him if y’all touch my shit! Where is my father? Put that nigga on the phone and hurry up wit’ it, hoe.”
I heard rustling around in the back ground before my father got on the phone. It sounded like she was trying to hand him the phone, but he didn’t want it.
“Good morning, Sweat Pea,” he yawned into the phone.
“So, y’all pokin’ the bear I see. Why is that lazy sack of dog shit callin’ my phone? Out of all the rooms in the house, Dade needs to have my room? He’s a grown-ass man!” I yelled into the phone.
“What are you talkin’ about? I was sleepin’ and you know how I am when I’m asleep. Listen, I’ll talk to Roberta okay,” he said. I hung up in his ear and those tears threatened to fall again. My father was letting that woman use him when all I saw growing up was a strong-minded man. The only conclusion I could come up with was that my father was lonely. Mayor came back into the kitchen twenty minutes later wearing only his boxer-briefs and house slippers. For breakfast I fixed, sausage, grits, blueberry pancakes and eggs. I also squeezed oranges to make fresh orange juice and added a little lemon to it. Mayor loved it and could drink it all day.
“Damn, shorty. You finally showed a nigga some love,” he said, rubbing his hands together. When I sat next to him, I noticed he had a bandage by his waist area.
“What happened?”
“I was stabbed,” he said nonchalantly.
“When?”
“Last night. Don’t mention this to nobody though. I don’t want my brother gettin’ involved. This is my problem,” he said.
“Why would someone stab you?”
“I got into a scuffle wit’ some niggas. They were tryin’ to take my chain. I was leavin’ the liquor store wit’ a few of my niggas and suddenly a van pulled up on us, blockin’ us in. They had army guns, Kitty, and you know I don’t ride around wit’ a lot of guns in case I get pulled over. I only had a pistol on me. But long story short, they were tryin’ to kidnap me. They beat the shit out of my homie, Muscle, and Jon-Jon got shot but he straight. I’on know if Muscle gonna make it though. Anyways, me and this one nigga was wrestlin’ and he dropped his gun. I shot his bitch-ass, but someone stabbed me from behind. Police was comin’ so they dipped, leavin’ me and my niggas out in the parking lot. You know what’s crazy? The niggas that’s robbin’ everybody is either military or police officers. It’s a war goin’ on, shorty,” he said.
“Police officers or military?”
“Who else can go around doin’ this and gettin’ away wit’ it? You know a street nigga isn’t gonna report his drugs stolen. They are robbin’ people who are doin’ illegal shit. Police have been doin’ it for years. They steal drugs and guns just to put it back on the streets only to make a profit from it. It’s real life,” he said.
Would Ian do sumthin like that? Naw, he’s one of the good ones.
“Those niggas hit up a strip club and kidnapped Frost’s girl and held her for ransom. They knew that strip club had a lot of illegal shit goin’ on, so nobody was goin’ to report it, and if they did, nobody is stupid enough to incriminate themselves. But now they are targeting me and my operation. Me and Governor had to close shop and move our shit. My brother thinks I’m not tryin’ to go legit, but I am, I just don’t want to do it on his dime, you feel me? I want to be able to walk away with my own money. My brother carried me on his back for a while now,” Mayor said. I rubbed his back as he sat at the table with his shoulders slumped.
“My life flashed before my eyes last night. I thought I was gonna die and all I could think about was me leavin’ this world without givin’ you back the love you gave to me,” he said. I thought Mayor was staying out to deal with a lot of women, but he was in a street war.
“We’ll get through this together, but it seems like we’re holdin’ back a lot of things. We’re afraid to be together. In the back of my mind, you’re still messin’ around wit’ a lot of women. Like you really hurt me, and I don’t know what to do at this point. One minute you’re calm then the next you lash out like you’re ready to beat my ass or sumthin.” Mayor pushed his plate away and leaned into his chair.
Here he goes. He ready to curse me out over sumthin stupid.
“I don’t trust women,” Mayor admitted.
“And I don’t trust niggas.”
“Naw, this ain’t the same. I was in love before,” he said.
“Oh, honey, please continue.”
“There you go,” he said and scratched his head.
“Tell me the rest. I want to hear about this, Mayor.”
“Aight, so I had this shorty, right? We had plans to get married and all that. I spoiled her ass, too. At the time, I was gettin’ nowhere near the money I’m gettin’ now, so I was actually goin’ broke after droppin’ racks on her. Where I fucked up at was gettin’ caught up in her looks, not knowing how triflin’ she was. Shorty ended up getting pregnant. I was happy, too, so I started hustlin’ harder and even begged my brother to front me a few extra bricks. He turned me down every time I asked him but that time he didn’t because I had a seed on the way. So, I copped her a Maserati as a baby shower gift and Governor had just started flippin’ houses and all that, so he sold me a nice three-bedroom home for little to nothing. Mannnn, Kitty, I was excited about this. Come to find out, that bitch was a whore. Long story short,
she was cheatin’ on me wit’ a nigga who had deeper pockets than me at the time. When I showed her the house, that bitch straight-up told me it was too small for her. That’s when I found out she was just usin’ me and the baby wasn’t mine. I lashed out and fucked her and the nigga up. They gave me two years behind that bullshit. But I served eighteen months. I went broke behind her, too, so I came home to a little bit of money cause I had to pay for lawyers. They were tryin’ to get me for attempted murder and other charges. I had just come home from prison when I hollered at you. And my mindset was different. I know it’s not an excuse, but it was hard for me to deal wit’ losin’ so much shit behind a woman. I’m still grindin’ hard to make up for it,” he said.