by S. Van Horne
“Of course. It’s sad that this happened to Len. Like I said, she was always nice to me. I’ll call if anything comes up or if I remember anything.” He takes the card and walks out the door.
He comes across as a loner. Like a guy who just doesn’t know how to talk to others so he keeps to himself.
“What do you think?” Sin asks sitting down next to me.
“To me he seemed fine, little out there. Almost like he wasn’t sure how to talk about anything other than work. But, he didn’t throw any bells to make me think he’s hiding something.”
“And his answers didn’t raise any flags either,” he states.
“Shit!” I scream out and grab my hair.
“I know, man. I really hope Lucky’s got something. If not, we’ll figure out what the next plan of action needs to be,” Sin sighs next to me.
“Agreed. Let’s get our shit together and get out of here,” I tell him while gathering all the notes we took from the people we talked to.
“How are you holding up Dante?” I hear from the door and glance up and see Chris standing there.
“The best I can. How are Andy and you?” I ask.
He shrugs his shoulders, and I stare into his eyes. He has bags, and it seems like he isn’t as put together as he normally is.
“Any updates?” he murmurs.
I shake my head and take a deep breath.
“I just wanted to come and check in. Nothing has changed on our end. Keep us updated please. Also, let the girls know that Andy’s wanting to get together when they feel up to it.” At my nod he turns and walks away.
I put my head in my hands and try to control the emotions swirling in me. Seeing our family and friends suffer is hard to deal with.
“Hey guys, I got one guy and one girl that we need to look into. I can tell you though that Eagle and I don’t think either of them had anything to do with it. They seemed off so I want to check it out. Did you two get anything?” Lucky asks as he walks into our room.
“Not a thing. Nobody we saw today showed any signs of anything. Let’s get back to the office and go over these records. Also, Andrew, the hospital administrator, gave us the info to get into the video feed and what days Len worked for the past three months. We can go through them and see if we spot anything,” Sin tells us.
I walk up to Lucky and really take a look at him. He’s close with his sister and it’s killing him knowing she has been missing for two weeks. He hasn’t shaved and appears like he has been hitting the gym more than usual. When something’s bothering him he’s always went to work out the thought process. So, seeing that he’s gained a lot more muscle lately tells me this is hitting him hard. I give him a brief hug and pull back to glance into his eyes.
“We’ll find her, Lucky. No matter how long it takes, we’ll find her! And she’ll be alive. I know you’re thinking, what are the odds of that, but stop. I’d feel it if she was taken from this world. If she was gone, I’d be dead, because deep down, I know my heart would feel when she took her last breath. And, if you reach deep enough you will feel it too,” I whisper to him as I absently rub my pocket.
He studies me for a moment before nodding his head.
“Thanks, man. I needed to hear that. Okay, let’s get the hell out of here and find my sister,” he says and walks out the door.
I truly meant what I’d said to him. I know she’s alive. I know I would feel if she were gone. My soul would feel it and my heart would stop beating.
Fifteen
LEN
Three months later…
I’m lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, and trying to calm my stomach down. I can’t wait for this to be done. It should be almost over with. I can’t stand throwing up or feeling like I’m going to puke.
Lord, please make this go away. I can’t handle this feeling. Please, just calm my stomach down. I’ve already thrown up today. Just take it away. After everything I’ve been going through please help me get through this.
I pray and hope that God’s listening. I close my eyes and continue to take deep breaths. I have some country music playing on the TV. I think of the past three months and what’s happened. How I’ve changed my way of thinking, about what still needs to be done, and how I’d made a deal with the person who kidnapped me so I can keep the one thing in the world that means the most to me.
I think back to seven weeks ago when I figured out what was wrong with me...
I woke up puking yet again this morning. That makes three weeks. Steven has tried to make me eat with him whenever he’s home. I refuse to do it. I only eat when he’s not here. I know it isn’t smart if I want to get out of here, but I just can’t do it.
I’ve been here now for five weeks. Five fucking weeks! He’s kept me locked away in this damn basement. Every time I try to get the upper hand, I’m given a shot and it knocks me out. I thought I was getting sick from whatever it was he was giving me, but that can’t be it either. He hasn’t given me a shot in a week now, and if it was that then I would be done with the detox that would come from it.
I’m still throwing up off and on all day long, so I wonder if I’m getting sick. That’s possible and makes me wonder what it could be. There are a few options, like the flu. However, I seem fine when I’m done getting sick.
Wait!
No!
No, it can’t be!
I haven’t had a period yet. I thought the lack of my menstrual cycle was due to stress, but I should’ve started by now. No, this can’t be happening. I can’t be pregnant right now. Please, don’t let this be true because I’m afraid of what Steven would do if I was.
The door opens, and I look over and see Steve walking in. He’s carrying a bag. I’m sure it’s food or something that he wants me to do with him. Lately, he’s been bringing movies, games, and books wanting to spend time with me. I refuse to do it.
“Lovely, I need you to drink some water. I’ve noticed you’ve been sick for a while. I’m going to run some tests. Please, don’t fight with me today. I really don’t want to have to sedate you again,” he tells me while he sits the bag down.
I don’t have the energy to fight him today. So, I sit up slowly and take a bottle of water off the nightstand and drink it down. I watch him as he puts items in the fridge. I think again how I never noticed just how crazy he was. He started calling me lovely last week, and I hate it.
He’s also been telling me how he knew we were meant to be together, that when I was nice to him in school, he knew that I would be the one for him. He’s been watching me since then. He’s shown me album after album of pictures he’s taken of me. He’s even Photoshopped a few to add himself to the pictures. I think he truly believes that we’ve been a couple this whole time. It’s unreal just how much he thinks I’m his.
I’m very thankful that he hasn’t raped me. He said that he was waiting for our wedding night. I remember screaming and yelling at him that I would never marry him. He then took a deep breath, stuck me again with a needle, and it was lights out. Then, the next day he said it again which ended up with me being sedated again.
Finally, I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere fighting with him, and that’s when I decided to just not speak to him. It was for the best because I knew that if I opened my mouth it would only end with me being drugged. So for now, I’ll keep quiet and bide my time until I can get away.
“I’m going to draw some blood and then you’re going to take this test,” he says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I look away as he draws my blood. I’m wondering how he’s going to get away with testing the blood at the hospital. Then again, it wouldn’t be hard to get it tested being a doctor. He could always just do it himself.
After he finishes drawing the blood, he hands me a white stick. I look down at it and instantly recognize it as a pregnancy test. Panic hits me full force knowing it’s going to be positive. I’m scared of how he’s going to react to the test. For a second, I
want to refuse, but he’s already drawn my blood and could test it that way.
“Will you please look away while I take it?” I whisper to him.
He nods and walks over to the dining table and sits down, facing away from me. I walk over to the bathroom and take the test. I wash up and sit the test down in front of him. Then, I walk back to the bed and lie down. I’m so scared of what’s going to happen now.
I wish I was home taking this test with Dante. I wonder how he would’ve reacted while waiting for the results. Would he have held me and whispered words of love? Would he be pacing the floor? I try to imagine his face when he sees the results. I imagine his face would be full of love and amazement knowing I was carrying our child. I imagine he would be calling everyone to tell them he was going to be a dad. I could see him getting protective and not letting me do anything. I feel tears sliding down the side of my face as I think of all the things he would be doing or saying.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when Steven takes a deep breath.
“So, this will have to be fixed, Len,” he says as he turns and looks at me with rage on his face.
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
“Why, termination, of course. We can’t have a bastard baby, now can we. So, I’ll get what we’ll need to perform this here. I can take care of you like no other. Now, why don’t you get some rest while I make a list,” he says, getting his things together.
No! I can’t let him take this baby from me! I have to think of something. I need to protect this baby. I need to figure out what can I do to make him change his mind and let me keep this baby. I’m running through everything in my head, and I realize I’m going to have to give him something that will change his mind. Something that I don’t want to do, but will do because this is my child.
“Steven, please don’t do this. Please, I’ll do anything! I love this child and will be devastated if you do this. I’ll start eating, playing games… watching movies with you. I’ll stay and no longer fight… I’ll even marry you! Please don’t take my baby!” I tell him with tears rolling down my face and placing my hands protectively over my stomach.
“I can’t have a bastard’s child in my home, Len. It isn’t going to happen! I’m the only one that should be the father of any child you have!” He roars.
“Please, don’t. I’ll do anything. Just don’t kill my baby. Let me have the baby, and you can take it to the hospital saying you found him. If you do that, I promise to marry you and behave. Please, if you do this then how will I know you won’t end up killing me or any children we have after we’re married? Anyone who kills children are monsters in my eyes. Is that what you want me to think? You being a monster? Do this for me, and show me you really are a good person. Please, just please don’t do it.” I’m sobbing, trying to think of anything that will change his mind.
I keep praying in my head that God will step in and not let this happen. I don’t know if I can live if he does this to me. I need him to give me this.
I watch as he looks me over. I can see him thinking through what I just said. He turns his head and closes his eyes. I wonder what he’s thinking. Just when I think he isn’t going to change his mind, he opens his eyes and looks at me.
“You will marry me tomorrow under your new name. I know someone who has no clue who you are and will marry us. I made sure they were ordained and I got all the paperwork taken care of. You will do whatever I want and ask no questions. You will give birth here and I’ll take it to the hospital. After you’re done healing, I’ll finally take you as a husband should. I refuse to sleep with you as long as that thing is still inside you. However, remember this, if you go back on your word at any time, I’ll kill that thing. Do you understand, Linda?” He says, looking me in the eye showing me he means business.
“Linda?”
“Your new name’s Linda Adams. That’s what I’ll call you from now on. Now, do we have a deal?”
“Yes, we have a deal,” I whisper.
“Good, now get some rest. I’ll bel back later with all we’ll need tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you this evening, Linda,” he says, picking up his bag and leaving the room.
I realize that I just agreed to be here for at least six more months. I also agreed to marry the devil to save my unborn child. I just pray that once I get out of here, Dante forgives me for the choices I just made. If he doesn’t… I have no clue how I’ll survive it.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I feel another round of nausea hit me.
“Little one, our family is going to miss so much.” I gently rub my stomach and think about what my family would be doing at this moment. “Let me tell you all about them. Your Daddy is very sweet and loving, but don’t let that fool you though, he’s a controlling man too. In a good way…a sweet, tender, loving way that only your father can be. Like that one time, I was giving a friend of ours a back rub…” I chuckle at the memory, as I continue to tell my child all about the family that I pray one day will be very involved in their life once again.
DANTE
I have a pounding headache again from pouring over the papers on my desk for the hundredth time. It has been three months and still nothing. KCPD has given up searching for her saying that it has been too long and the chances of her still being alive are very slim. But her family and I haven’t given up hope though.
Lucky and I go over everything daily, and we’ve watched the hospital security footage so many times trying to find anything that stands out. The only thing that broke in the case was the note that was left wasn’t from Len. It was forged, as if someone had samples of her writing and placed a blank paper over the letters to trace them into a note. We also realized that the Yours Always is something the stalker used. Other than that nothing else is coming up. It’s pissing me off.
“Hey bro, how you holding up?” I snap my head up and see Eagle walking into my office.
“As good as I can be. What’s going on with you?”
“We need to talk and I’m going to say something you might not like. But, I think Lucky and you need to take a step back and maybe let us look into it. You’re both too close to the case and it can lead to mistakes or something being overlooked. You know we have your back and will come to you with anything we find. Take a few days off and reprogram your brains. Come back fresh and maybe work on a different case. If we still haven’t found anything, then come back to the case and see it with fresh eyes. It’s what most do in situations like this,” he tells me.
I take a deep breath and look over at him. I know he’s trying to help. I feel like I lost myself when she was taken and I don’t know how to get it back. Maybe he’s right and this is what we need to get Len back. I just don’t know if I can do it.
“What if I were in your shoes? Ghost, you know you’d be telling me the same thing and making sure I stick to it. Think it over, and we’ll meet tomorrow in the conference room around nine in the morning. I already told the same things to Lucky, too. It’s eight forty-five at night. Go home, Dante, and think about what I just said.” He stands up, pats me on the shoulder and walks out the door.
I sit back and look out the window. I hadn’t even realized it was night time already. I haven’t really been able to sleep. It’s crazy how quickly I’d adjusted to sleeping in bed with her and now I can’t even step in the bedroom. I’ve been sleeping in the guestroom and Lucky has taken up the other room. We decided we needed to stay at the house just in case she showed up.
Taking a deep breath, I grab the files, my laptop, and put them in my bag. I turn off the lights and head to the house, thinking about what Eagle said. I decide I need to talk to Lucky about this.
I’m sitting downstairs with the TV on when I hear Lucky walk through the door. Looking down at my watch, I see it’s one in the morning which means he’s been at the gym since he left the office around nine last night.
“Hey man, I got your message. What’s up?” he asks as he comes down the stairs.
Looking over at him, I see that he’s really bulked up. Lucky’s always been in shape, but he’s huge now. He’s also grown a beard which is odd because he’s always so particular about being clean shaved.
“Eagle said he talked to you. I want to know your thoughts about what he said. I’m thinking he’s right. We need to pass this off to them and take a step back. As much as it kills me to say that, I know that I would be telling them the same if it were them.” I hold my breath because I know he isn’t going to like hearing it a second time.
“Yeah, I know, but I just don’t know if I can step back. If I do it’s like I’m telling everyone I gave up. That Len doesn’t matter to me anymore. I can’t do that. She’s my baby sister, and I didn’t protect her. I have to do something to help find her! I just don’t know what the fuck to do!” He grabs his hair viciously.
“I know, man, that’s what I’m feeling too. So how can we do this, but still have a hand in it? Maybe we should hand it off, but tell them that they have to report daily to us even if that means them saying nothing new?” I say into my hands.
“Yeah, I guess that’s what’s going to have to happen. I don’t like it one bit but if it gets Len back, I guess we need to try it. I trust them so I know they will handle this with more care than anyone else. I keep hoping whoever has her will fuck up and we’ll catch his ass.” He grabs two beers, comes over to the couch, hands one to me and takes a seat.
“I’m lost, man. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my heart and soul is gone. I can’t sleep, eat, or even concentrate on anything, but finding her. Lucky, I don’t know how to live without her,” I say, my throat closing up with a knot and tears in my eyes.
“I know it’s the same with me and my family. OPG isn’t doing well. She’s sick and we’re trying to keep her from the stress. She keeps saying that Len is okay and not to worry. I’m beginning to wonder if she knows something, however, I don’t want to stress her out with questioning her. Something has to break, Dante, or we’re going to lose it worse than we already are,” he whispers with tears falling down his face.