by S. Van Horne
“He’s perfect, Len. I love him so much. What did you name him?” she asks me.
“Marcus Anthony De Luca,” I quietly tell her.
She stands, picks him up and walks over to the rocking chair in the corner. She rocks him and sings the same lullaby that she used to sing to me when I would sleep with her or when she would just hold me. I cross the room and sit on the couch and silently cry as I watch them together. I missed her, and my family, but this makes it so much worse.
“He looks just like his daddy. What color are his eyes?” she asks after about twenty minutes of just rocking and staring at him. He hasn’t woken up yet.
“Right now, they’re blue, and I’m hoping they stay that way since that’s the only thing he seems to have inherited from me so far.” I glance at him and know that if people went just by looks they would swear I wasn’t his mom.
“I’m not going to ask you what happened just yet. We’ll have time to get into that later on. I want to know how you’re doing, Len. I missed you, but I knew you would be okay because you a very strong woman,” she unsteadily tells me. I know my kidnapping was hard on everyone, but I really am scared to tell her everything.
“I’m having nightmares about what I had to do to get us out of there. I know I’m going to need help when I get back home. I’m also scared that Dante isn’t going to want to be with me anymore. Who wants someone who’s damaged?” I choke out.
“Len, you need to stop living your life as if you have baggage and start living it as the survivor you are. I don’t know the trouble you had to endure, but I know that you are stronger than this. Also, Dante not wanting you…Len, you have no idea how torn up he’s been. Len, he was going to ask you to marry him that night. Neil and Dante have been sleeping at your house since the night you went missing. They have studied files and poured over every tip that has come in trying to find you. If that doesn’t tell you how much you’re wanted, sweetie, I don’t know what will.” Her voice is firm and stern when she speaks to me.
They slept in my house? I don’t know how to take that.
The knock on the door shakes my thought process, and I stand up. I go to the back door. I push it open and see Ms. Cindy standing there with a troubled expression on her face. I look behind her, but don’t see anyone there.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, fear evident in my voice.
“I had a visitor looking for May. I figured she was here since she wasn’t at her fishing spot, or at my house. I told them she was hunting for mushrooms. It was one of the gentlemen that came with your pops and brother the other night to check in. I don’t know his name.” She peeks over my shoulder.
I turn and OPG walks towards us with Marcus bundled up against the night chill. She goes outside and stands in front of Ms. Cindy. They’re talking so quietly that I can’t make out what they’re saying. I strain to hear what they are saying, but only catch a word here and there.
Marcus lets out a cry, and I step outside towards him. I glance down and he seems to be okay. OPG starts to bounce him, and I wonder if he’s hungry. Just as I was about to take him from her, I hear something coming from the edge of the yard, where it meets the wooded area and realize it’s a voice I wasn’t ready to hear. Fear consumes me and I snap my head at the sound of my name.
“Len!” Dante roars as he runs towards me, and I know immediately that he was the visitor that Ms. Cindy was talking about. Before I can do anything else, he lifts me up by my thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist, so he can hold me tightly in his arms. I hear him take a deep breath. There’s wetness seeping into my shirt, and I realize that he’s crying. I’ve never witnessed Dante breaking down before, and it overwhelms me to the point that I need to get as close as I can to him.
I wrap my arms around him, shoving my face into his neck and cling to him. I sob while taking a deep breath of his scent that I have missed so much. The fear I felt a moment ago at his presence slowly fades away, and the feeling of being completely safe replaces it. I have always felt this way in his arms and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I never want to leave them again. I haven’t felt this since the night I was taken and I was scared I wouldn’t ever experience it again.
“Len, I never gave up hope of seeing you again. Why didn’t you call me when you got out? Why did you hide from me?” he cries into my neck.
“I c…couldn’t. I had t…to keep everyone s…safe,” I sputtered out between sobs.
“I’ll keep you both safe. Never doubt that again,” he growls and then looks up.
“God, mio tutto, I have missed you so much. I love you and never want you or our son out of my sight again. But before we get into all that tell me about my son,” he whispers and turns towards Marcus, who is still in OPG’s arms.
“OPG, bring my son to me, please. I’d like to meet my son,” he asks while sitting me down.
“I’m going to leave the three of you to work through things. If you need me, I’ll be staying with Cindy tonight. I’ll let everyone know that I saw you walking and that you will be back later.” She gently lays Marcus in Dante’s arms.
“Talk to him, Len. Tell him everything,” she murmurs in my ear, kisses my head and walks away.
I turn back and watch Dante with our son. My heart aches as I see my strong alpha man break down once again at seeing him for the first time. He slowly turns and makes his way into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. He glances up and smiles at me.
“Come sit with us Mamma.”
I take a deep breath trying to control the emotions that are trying to consume me. I slowly make my way to his side and sit down next to them.
“Daddy, meet your son, Marcus Anthony De Luca,” I whisper to him.
He snaps his head up and a slow grin crosses his face. He glances down again and in a voice so gentle that I almost don’t hear it, whispers, “I love you so much, Marcus. Your mamma and you are my world. I’ll stop at nothing to make sure you’re both protected from this moment on.” He glances at me, tears in his eyes. “Tell me about my son.”
And right then, I fell even deeper in love with Dante.
Twenty-One
DANTE
I watch as Len breastfeeds Marcus and think what beautiful sight they make; I still can’t believe that she’s right here in front of me. It amazes me how much my son looks just like I did as a baby, but with Len’s eye color. I pray that he keeps the blue.
I think back on the phone call and the emotions I felt when I discovered the results of the paternity test. Regardless of those results, I knew I loved him the instant I discovered Len gave birth to him. She was mine, and so was he.
Staring out the window, thinking of where my family could be, is torture. We know that Len was there and that it was under a different name. I try to think about what happened and how she managed to get out. I also pray that she isn’t still being held by him. The longer they’re both missing, the more I’m worried that he has them still.
The phone ringing pulls me out of my thoughts.
“De Luca.”
“Mr. De Luca, this is Detective Walters. I’m calling about the results from the DNA test. Do you have a moment?”
“Absolutely. Do you need me to come in or do you want to meet here?” I ask him, hoping he’d be okay with doing it over the phone.
“It’s up to you. However, I can give you the results over the phone and have the papers faxed over, if that’s alright?”
“Yes, that’s perfectly okay.” I take a deep breath and wait anxiously for him to start speaking again.
“It’s a ninety-nine point nine percent chance that you are the father of the child that’s in question,” he reads off the results.
“Thank God! Can you rush those papers over as fast as you can? Also, where does that leave everything once Len and my son are found?” I breathe out a sigh of relief knowing I’m indeed the father to Len’s baby. It wouldn’t have mattered if I wasn’t because any baby from her I
would consider mine. However, if I wasn’t the father, then the realization that his other family could demand to be part of the baby’s life hit me. A problem I wasn’t sure how Len would deal with.
“Well, after we question her then she’s free to go. Depending on what happened, she might need some counseling.”
“Thanks for the update and for the information.”
“No problem.”
I lean back, close my eyes, and think about the news I just received. A sense of love so strong blooms from me that, at first, I don’t understand it. I’ve yet to meet my son, but my love for him is there. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love Len, but I was wrong. The love I have for my son is indescribable. It’s a different kind of love, and it overwhelms me.
In that moment, I understood the worry and fear that my parents felt when I couldn’t contact them on missions. The thought that I might never get to hold him or show him the love I feel haunts me. It’s then that I vow to be the best father I can be. I’ll protect him and his mom from everything that I humanly can.
There’ll never be a day after they are finally in my arms that they don’t know the love I have for them. It’s with that thought that I turn back to my desk and start digging into the files.
I hear a burp and a giggle which makes me turn and look over at the bed. Len gently places Marcus down in his basinet. I was so lost in thought I didn’t realize she was done feeding him and was putting him down for the night. I take a deep breath, knowing it’s time for the talk I’m dreading.
“Len, mio tutto, I need to know everything. Are you ready to talk?” I carefully ask her.
“No, I’m not ready,” she whispers and walks into the bathroom, closing the door.
I sit back and give her a few minutes to pull herself together. After a few moments, she walks back out and I see the circles under her eyes. It causes a slice of pain in my heart knowing she’s tired and has been taking care of Marcus on her own.
“We need to talk, but we can do that in the morning. Just know that I’ll always keep you safe from now on, and he isn’t going to take you again. Let’s get dressed and get to bed. We need some sleep before Marcus wakes up.” The firmness in my voice leaves no room for argument.
Just as we walk back into the room, Marcus starts stirring and whimpering. I look over at Len as she walks over to the basinet and picks him up.
“Welcome to fatherhood, Daddy. I think your son needs changing.” Smirking at me, she hands me my son and walks over to where the diapers are.
“Well, there’s no time like the present to learn. However, grade me on a curve will you? I’ve never done this shit before,” I say out loud to both of them and start to undress my son. The smell of his dirty diaper hits me, and I realize it’s going to be a hell of a long night.
LEN
I slowly awake to the sound of a small whimper and soft whispers. Smiling slightly, I peek open one eye and see Dante on the couch changing our son. I swoon a little at the sight of him taking care of him. I strain my ears trying to catch what he’s saying, and what I hear, makes tears come to my eyes.
“Little man, I have so much to teach you. I still can’t believe I’m your daddy. I love you so much, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there while you were in your mommy or for your birth. However, I promise to be here from this day forward. Your mommy is the best woman there is, and we’ll have to team up to make sure nobody gets her again. Women are meant to be treasured at all times.” He smiles at our son when he makes a gurgling sound. I know at any minute Marcus is going to want to feed, but I don’t want to interrupt their male bonding time.
“It’s almost football season which means it’s time to teach you which team is the best. We both know it’s the Seahawks, but I know if your mommy and her family have any say, they will tell you it’s the Chiefs. Don’t listen to that nonsense. You will see that blue and green is the way to go.” Dante chuckles.
“Red and gold, baby boy. Don’t listen to your father, he really is delusional. Everyone knows the Chiefs have the loudest and the best fans in the world. Nobody wants to say they are sea chicken fans,” I speak up, defending my team and setting Dante straight. At the sound of my voice, Marcus starts crying out which causes my breast to tighten up.
“Oh, I see how it is, son. Mommy wakes up, and now I’m no longer needed. I don’t blame you though, I would want her too.” Dante smiles at me and brings our son over. “We need to get you two to the doctor to get you checked out.”
“I already saw the doctor. I went yesterday, and we both are fine. If you want to see the paperwork I hid it in the kitchen drawer,” I tell him.
“We’ll make sure to bring it with us when we go home. I still would like it if you could be seen by your doctor there. I’m going to go over to Ms. Cindy’s cabin and ask them to watch Marcus for us this morning. I’m also going to go and talk to Lucky and get him to come over. Len, we need to talk about everything,” he quietly tells me as he sits down and rubs my back.
“Okay,” I whisper, because what else am I going to say? I don’t want to do this, but I know it’s going to have to happen.
“I’ll be back soon, and we’ll get this fixed. I love you, Len. One more time.” He kisses my head and bends down to kiss Marcus before he walks out the door.
Staring down at my son, I realize that we have a long road ahead of us. I just hope that everything turns out for the better.
Just as I’m finishing up my cleaning, I hear a tap on the door and it opens. I look over as I watch OPG and Ms. Cindy walk in.
“Hey Len, Dante came over and asked us to get Marcus. I’m proud of you for wanting to get this over with and taken care of. You need to come home and back to your life. Running won’t help,” OPG firmly tells me after she gives me a huge hug while Ms. Cindy is packing a bag for Marcus.
“I know. I’m just scared of how they are going to react to this. I’m scared that he’s still out there, and once they know everything I’m even more afraid that they’ll find him and kill him. I don’t want them in prison.” I start breaking down at the thought of them in jail.
“Len, you can’t control what the future holds. Are they going to be upset with what happened to you? Yes. Are they going to protect you and Marcus? You know they’ll do anything to make sure you’re both safe. Are they going to kill him? You have no control over their actions. You do control your actions and keeping anything from them that will keep you safe is wrong,” she whispers in my ear while patting my back. “Now, get your face dried up and get your ass in gear for them to come see you. I have a feeling Neil’s going to go nuts when he sees his sister.”
“Okay, let me kiss Marcus goodbye. He just ate thirty minutes ago so he should be alright.”
After making sure they had everything they needed for him, I give him a kiss and hug them both, thanking them for watching him for me. I watch as they walk over towards the other cabin. I go into the bathroom to wash my face and decide that I need to grab a cup of coffee so I can sit on the back deck while Dante goes to get Neil.
Twenty-Two
DANTE
After I talked with Ms. Cindy and OPG, I went back to the cabin to find it empty. I saw a note on the counter telling me they went to breakfast in town. I decide to jump in the shower really quick before they return. I’m trying to figure out how to get Lucky away without the others wanting to join us. I’m also trying to think of what I’m going to tell the others as to why I didn’t come back last night.
I’m brought out of my musing when I hear car doors. I rush through getting dressed and head down the stairs.
“Where the hell you been, Ghost?” Eagle barks out.
“I ended up walking through the woods and then fell asleep,” I say vaguely. “Where’s Lucky?”
“Outside with Pops talking about what we’re doing today. I think we’re going to be meeting up on the deck with files to go over things since Ms. May isn’t here to talk us into something el
se,” Doc announces as he walks into the house.
I nod my head at him and then walk out the front door. I see Lucky and Pops in a deep conversation which stops when they spot me.
“Where were you last night?” Lucky ask me, cocking his head. “OPG came and said she saw you walking around and that she was going to stay with Ms. Cindy. We figured you would be back, but when we checked the bed it was never slept in.”
“Had a lot of thinking to do. Want to go for a walk and figure out what we’re going to do next? We need to work out a plan.”
“Okay…” he murmurs and looks at me trying to figure out what’s up. He knows me and knows that I’m hinting something’s going on that requires just the two of us.
We turn and head towards the woods. Once we’re a good distance away from the cabin, and I make sure we weren’t followed because the guys will follow if they know something’s up. I find a log on the ground and plop down. Lucky sits down on a stump in front of me and leans towards me, waiting for me to speak.
“I need you to keep your head on, brother, and hear me out before you take off on a run or demand answers.” I look him dead in the eye.
“What the fuck did you find out from OPG? Eagle told me you went to talk to her.”
“She didn’t tell me anything. I kind of fell into this information from following Ms. Cindy.”
“What do you mean you fell into this information, and why the fuck, were you following Ms. Cindy?” He cocks his head with a confused look on his face.