I had enough. I didn’t want to hear anymore right now. I could find the rest out later.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get dressed and change Josiah’s clothes.” I offered Osan my kindest (fake) smile and started to leave the room.
“Maelianna?” Miguel used my full name, stopping me before I passed through the door.
I turned my head and looked at him questioningly. I wasn’t mad at him. I only wanted to leave the room as soon as possible. I didn’t want to go back over by him or near his brother again.
“Yes?” I asked quietly.
“I’ll be up shortly. I need to discuss some things with my brother.” He spat the last word out of his mouth like it was a disease.
Good, I felt the same way. I was sure we could find a hotel somewhere else to stay. We didn’t need this.
“Okay. Just come up when you’re done please.”
“I will.”
I left, shutting the door quietly behind me.
CHAPTER 17
Josiah and I had been upstairs waiting for over an hour. When we first came back to our room, I could hear yelling downstairs and had to shut the door and turn the shower on to drown out the noise. As much as I wanted to know what was being said, I didn’t want Josie to hear his
dad when he was so upset.
I thought about unpacking our stuff, but I didn’t know if we were staying or not at this point. Instead, I had Josie help mommy get ready for the day. He also helped me put my make up on, helped make the beds, and helped pick out daddy’s clothes. After that, I found some paper and we drew funny pictures together.
It was getting harder to find things to keep Josie occupied when Miguel finally came through the door. Josie and I were sitting on the sofa, anxiously waiting for his attention, but he didn’t look at us. He slammed the door and went directly to the bed, sitting on the edge facing away from us. Lowering his head, he covered his face with his hands, and rocked back and forth.
I needed to talk to him and see what was wrong, but there wasn’t a TV or anything else available to pacify Josie. I had no choice, but to set him down with the paper and pen, and hope that he’d stay there for a few minutes. Just as I stepped away, I eyed his travel bag and remembered that he had two toy cars inside. I quickly grabbed them and the fruit snacks, telling him to play for a minute and mommy would be right back.
Walking around the edge of the bed, I sat next to Miguel.
“Honey, what happened?”
I reached my hand around his back and rubbed small circles down his backbone, trying to reassure him. He didn’t respond. He kept his head in his hands, staring at the floor.
“Miguel, we can stay in a hotel or something. We don’t have to stay here.”
I barely finished my sentence before he snapped his head up, his eyes full of anger, as he looked at me.
“No!” He yelled. “We’re staying here, Mel! We don’t have a choice.” There was no love in his eyes at all.
“What do you mean?”
He had always asked my opinion for decisions. He never told me what to do or how to do it. And he definitely had never yelled at me like this before. Where was my husband? What did Osan do to him down there?
“I meant what I said. We’re staying here until this is finished. When the surgery is done and Josiah has recovered enough to travel home, we will go back.” He wasn’t yelling anymore, but the way he spoke to me was cutting through my heart just the same.
I yanked my hand back and stared at the man in front of me. Whatever had happened, revealed somebody I didn’t know. As the tears started to fall, Miguel looked back down at the ground before pushing himself up from the bed and hurrying to the bathroom. The next thing I heard was the shower running. He didn’t even care that he had hurt me, or that I was crying.
“Ma, ma, ga, da, da, ah, see.”
Josiah.
Wiping the tears off my face, I got off the bed and went back to where he was. I had to be strong for him. We’d get through this and go home. Everything would work out.
I sat beside him, but couldn’t interact. I was so confused. I wanted to be upset about how Miguel had spoken to me, but at the same time, I was more worried that something was bothering him so much that it could change my husband into a total stranger.
Unsure of what to do, I decided to call Joan. I dug my phone out of my purse and turned it on. Just my luck, no service. I threw it back into my purse and sat back on the sofa.
Eying his mommy suspiciously, Josie crawled up on my lap and hugged me. Sometimes kids have such a sense of what we need. I held him tightly and let the tears fall. I didn’t know what to think of Miguel’s actions, but I knew I loved Josie, and would deal with anything for his sake. Miguel and I would work through this. I just had to be strong.
About thirty minutes later, Miguel came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. My first reaction was to look at his body. His defined chest had a few beads of water dripping down, his face shaved, and his hair was wet, but styled. He was so sexy. But that only lasted a moment until I remembered how he had spoken to me and what he had said. I looked away and listened to him dig through the luggage for his clothes.
“Would you please hang the clothes in the closet, Mel? I have to go to the store with my brother and we’ll be gone for a little while. It shouldn’t take too long though.”
He was telling me to do chores while he left and went running around with the evil monster? I didn’t respond. I only wanted to get through the day and do what I needed to do for Josie while I waited for my Miguel to return.
I tried to block him out, but, of course, he wasn’t going to let me.
“Mel, did you hear me?”
Oh, I heard him all right. I stood up with Josie in my arms and turned around to look directly into his eyes.
“Yes, Miguel.” I hissed. “I will have everything put away before you return. Is there anything else you want me to do?”
I couldn’t believe the way my voice sounded. I never would’ve spoken to him like that before. I didn’t want to now, but the anger and hurt was pouring out through my words.
He grabbed his clothes and stood there staring at me. I didn’t back down, I pushed back with more.
“Miguel, did you hear me?” I repeated his words, using the same tone of voice he had.
He stood there for another minute, anger, frustration, and sadness flashing in his eyes. He glanced at Josiah, then focused on me before speaking quietly.
“I love you, Mel. I’m sorry things aren’t going as we planned. I’ll do everything I can to finish this and get us home.”
He didn’t give me time to ask what he meant before he went back to the bathroom and shut the door. Again, I was left alone to take care of Josiah and my own feelings.
Miguel came out of the bathroom minutes later wearing his dress pants, dress shirt, and a tie. I was standing at the window pointing out the trees and birds to Josie, getting him to repeat the sounds to me. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he sat on the sofa to put his socks and shoes on. After finishing, he glanced up at Josie and me, then stood and left without saying a word.
If it weren’t for the tiny hand on the side of my cheek urging me to look at him, I would’ve crumbled to the floor and cried for hours. Why was he treating me like this? We had the most loving relationship I’d ever seen. We never spoke to one another like we had today. And we absolutely never left in such a way as he just had.
********
After Miguel left, Josie and I took a walk up and down the hall, Josie trotting as I pretended to chase him. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing, but I needed to wear him out so he’d take a nap. After running back and forth and then hopping up and down the stairs hand in hand a few times, he was finally ready. I laid down with him and we both fell asleep.
I didn’t stay asleep long though. I woke up about half an hour later from a growling stomach and a dry mouth. Leaving Josie in his bed, I tucked pillows all around him so he wouldn’
t accidentally roll off. I was hungry after not eating all day and decided to go downstairs and quickly find some food before the men came back. I shut the door, so he couldn’t try to follow me if he woke up, and hurried down the steps.
When I entered the kitchen I noticed that all the food and dishes from breakfast had been put away, except for a plate on the countertop with a piece of paper next to it. Curiously walking toward the counter, I read the “Maelianna” that was written in fancy script letters. It wasn’t Miguel’s handwriting. So, Osan finally learned what my name was after all. There was no way I was going to eat that! Instead, I went to the refrigerator and found some things to make a sandwich, plus some grapes.
After creating a mouth-watering ham and turkey sandwich, I grabbed a large glass and filled it with water to take up to the bedroom. I made sure to take some extra food for Josie, in case he woke up hungry. I scurried upstairs, hoping to avoid any further confrontations if the men returned.
********
I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until I felt Miguel’s arm wrap around me. I opened my eyes and saw my empty plate sitting on the nightstand beside the bed, and looked at the hand that was holding me around my waist. Normally I would’ve held him back or rolled over to kiss him, but I had no desire to now.
“Mel?” Miguel whispered near my ear.
I thought about pretending to sleep, but what was the point? I had to face him sooner or later. I rolled over and pulled back to look at him. He was still in the same clothes, minus the tie, and the top two buttons were undone. It was out of habit that I reached up and played with one of the buttons that were undone.
He lifted his hand and covered mine with his, holding it to his chest as he looked at me. His eyes alternating with sadness and confusion, he took a deep breath before speaking.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he said softly, and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
I didn’t stop him. I actually wanted, no, needed, him to do that. But at the same time, I wanted to punish him and push him away.
Not knowing what to do, I sat there motionless and watched as he pulled me to him and laid his head down on the pillow. I was staring right at his chest, watching it rise and fall as he breathed. Before long, he was asleep. As much as I would’ve liked to sleep, too, I couldn’t.
After lying there for a while, thinking about everything that had happened today, I gently removed his arm and went to check on Josie. He was still sound asleep, so I took my magazines out of my bag and made my way to the sofa. Not only was I hurting, but I was bored out of my mind. There was absolutely nothing to do there. I sat and reread the same articles again and waited.
Once Josie woke up, about an hour later, Miguel did as well. He acted like nothing had happened. He played with our son, laughed, and took him on a tour of the house. I didn’t feel like following him, or to be more specific, taking the chance of running into Osan, so I stayed in the bedroom.
I made the beds again, and picked up some of the things Josie had played with during the day, trying to find anything to occupy my time. It was hot outside, but I was starting to feel claustrophobic. Glancing at the windows, I decided to open a couple and let the fresh breeze come in.
The wind was pretty strong as I stood there letting it blow through my hair as I listened to the birds. From our window, I could see an immaculately designed garden area. Normally, I’d be envious of this. Leading away from a brick patio was a path lined with numerous potted plants and flowers of every kind. Although I was enjoying taking in everything I saw, my mind continually returned to Miguel.
I was lost in thought, and didn’t notice when he came up behind me. Wrapping his arms around me, he nuzzled my neck, brushing baby kisses against the sensitive skin below my hairline.
I wanted to tell him he was now being referred to as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” in my mind. I wanted to yell at him for how he spoke to me earlier today. I wanted to cry and see if he’d hold me this time. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just stood there, emotionless.
“Josiah’s downstairs, would you please join us?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. After the way he treated me today, he was now asking me to join his brother and our son downstairs, and I’m supposed to be okay with this?
“I know I was cruel today, Mel.” He began speaking, but I didn’t let him finish. I turned around in his arms and looked up at him.
“No, Miguel, you weren’t just cruel to me. You were cruel to me and Josiah. He heard every word you said, every time you raised your voice, and he watched you walk out the door without even saying goodbye.”
He flinched, his eyes filling with remorse immediately.
I wanted to wrap my arms around the man I loved and make it go away, but he needed to know what he did. He needed to understand he couldn’t do it again.
“I’m really sorry, Mel. I’m trying to deal with Osan and some family issues while being a good husband and father. I’m doing a horrible job, I know. I’m sorry.”
Okay, well, here’s the thing. It wasn’t like he hit me or called me some awful names. He spoke to me like I was dirt, yes, but here he was apologizing and explaining that he was having trouble with Osan. No matter what, I loved him with all my heart. So whatever he was going through, I would go through with him. Good or bad.
“You can’t do that again, Miguel.”
“I know. I know.” His head hung low.
“No, listen to me,” I made him look at me before I continued, “If you want to yell at me, or just need someone to vent to, fine. But next time you take me in a different room, take me in the bathroom or anywhere, as long as it’s away from Josie. I don’t want him getting caught up in all this between us and your brother.”
“You’re right. I promise I will.” He leaned forward and lightly kissed me on my lips just as there was a knock at the door.
Releasing me, he sighed and walked over to open it. Standing on the other side was Osan and a bright-eyed little boy waving at us. I had to shake my head at the crazy picture in my head. The innocence on one side and the evil devil himself on the other.
“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting. I wanted to see if you two would like to go for a walk with us?”
There was no way in hell he was taking him without me! Whether I wanted to go or not, I was going now. A walk outside actually sounded great after being cooped up all day, but the company was another question.
“Okay, let me get my shoes on. I’ll be right down.”
“Oh, good, we’ll wait downstairs.” The sarcasm was dripping off his tongue. I wanted to cut it off myself.
CHAPTER 18
The rest of the evening and the next day were pretty uneventful. I tried to avoid Osan as much as I could. (He informed us that he was in town so he’d be staying at his home as well.) But I couldn’t avoid his tour of the house last night though.
After finishing our walk outside, he insisted I follow him through the house so I’d know my way around. Miguel was familiar with his home, so Osan suggested he relax and get Josiah ready for bed. I didn’t want to be alone with Osan, and was shocked that Miguel agreed without any protest. Left with no other options, I straightened my back and held my head high, refusing to let him get the better of me.
I quickly learned it wasn’t a tour for pleasure. It was a tour to show me where not to go. I could roam around the house, visit the library, enter any room I wanted, except for his office. He actually took me to the door and demonstrated how the locks worked. Not so I could use them, but to show me how hard it was to enter.
I acted dumb and innocent. I’m sure that’s how he saw me anyhow so it probably didn’t surprise him.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t even know how to use a lock like that.”
“I assumed as much, but I wanted to be clear.” Osan stood there watching me, his eyes burning with hate as his fake smile twitched.
“Crystal clear.” I said and started walking further down the hall.
O
n the rest of the tour, he told me about people in the pictures, things of importance in his life, and explained that there was no internet or phone service there, claiming he liked peace and quiet at home. Everything he showed me and talked about represented men in his life. Not once did a woman get credit for anything. He never smiled a real smile and made sure I knew my place before we were done.
He spent more time in the kitchen describing how appliances worked, where food was located, and what to use to clean. Clearly demonstrating that my responsibility should be preparing food and keeping things tidy while we were staying there.
After the tour, I returned to our room hoping that Miguel and I could finally talk and I could find out what had happened. Unfortunately, he and Josie were already sleeping in Josie’s bed. I tried to wake him, asking him to come join me in bed, but he only opened his eyes for a second and told me he’d be to bed shortly, before he fell back to sleep.
I knew Osan was leaving in the morning for a meeting so I thought I’d let him sleep and we could talk in the morning. At least then he’d be well rested and we could face things head on…together.
********
Today, when I woke up, Josie was in bed with me, playing with some toys I had never seen before. I lifted my head and smiled at him. No matter what was going on around me, Josie could always make me happy.
To my surprise, Miguel came out of the bathroom a couple minutes after I woke. He was already showered, and wearing his dress clothes again.
“Mel, I’m going with Osan to his meeting today. I’ll be gone most of the day. He had some toys and other things delivered so Josiah would have something to do during the day.”
Leaving with Osan? Again? Things were not going as I had planned! The entire trip…Osan’s presence, how my husband had been acting, my worry and confusion…nothing was going as I planned.
Twisted Truths & Leveled Lies Page 17