Well, I said it all. The look on his face was one of surprise, confusion, and a hint of anger. I guess Mr. Hyde was going to join us again tonight. Maybe I should’ve made popcorn this time.
“Mel,” he said my name slowly, contemplating how to respond, “The surgery isn’t until next Thursday, now.”
Next Thursday? It was supposed to be this week. That was another week longer! I wanted to scream, but held it in so he could finish first.
“My brother and I are doing our best to see this through without killing each other. He tricked me and lied to me, but I don’t want to get into the details right now though.” He looked around the room like he was searching for something before coming back to me. “As I said, I’m doing everything I can to finish this and get us home as soon as possible.”
Other than knowing the day of the surgery, he didn’t answer any of my questions specifically. He was going to have to do better than that.
“Miguel, I need you to tell me…”
“No, Mel.” He cut me off, speaking over me with a strong, demanding voice. “I can’t tell you. You have to trust me.”
I didn’t say anything else. I wasn’t sure what to say. Not only was I clueless to what was going on, I had no idea who my husband was anymore. We sat in silence, staring straight ahead at the empty fireplace.
A few minutes later, he reached over, wrapping his arm around the back of my neck, and turning his body to face mine. His eyes softened as his thumb slid back and forth across my skin.
“Do you feel okay other than the pain? It looks pretty bad.”
Dr. Jekyll was back. I was getting whiplash between the two personalities. I was becoming the angry person I never wanted to be. I just wanted to go home.
“Don’t worry about me,” I snapped and stood up. “Go take care of your brother. It seems you’re spending more time with him then us anyhow.”
I walked angrily away, going to Josie’s room, and locking the door behind me. I couldn’t handle the pain in my head and the hurt in my heart at the same time. It was all too much. I curled up beside Josie and closed my eyes, willing it all to go away.
CHAPTER 20
It was like being locked in a prison with fancy decorations and toys. Josie didn’t notice. Everything was new and exciting to him. And, of course, the endless supply of toys made him think it was Christmas every day. But I couldn’t help but notice.
Since my last talk with Miguel, a week ago, he had been gone every day with his brother, usually not returning until nearly six each evening. We hardly spoke and when we did it was short and to the point. He still held me every night and whispered his apologies when he thought I was sleeping, but if he were truly sorry, why did he continue to do it?
If things had gone as scheduled, Josie would’ve already been one week into his recovery and we’d be leaving in another week. On the contrary, it was still two more days until the surgery was scheduled. I asked Miguel about the change in surgery dates, but the most he said was that the doctors had a promotional event they had to attend to support the seminar, they were fitting us in, so we didn’t have a choice. I wanted to cancel the entire thing and go home and find a different doctor, but Miguel said the little inconvenience was worth their expertise. It may have been little to him, but it wasn’t for me.
I wasn’t allowed to leave without Miguel, and he was never home to take me anywhere. When he was here, it was already dinner and bedtime for Josie. I was afraid to go outside again, but I should’ve done it anyhow just for spite. Yet, even my usual spirited demeanor was fading. I was growing more and more depressed each day. Josie’s endless smiles did little to help, and it was growing increasingly difficult to focus on the good, and not the bad.
Almost overnight, my husband had become somebody I despised. Other than two hours each evening, he didn’t seem to care about either of us. He was distant and cold. Everything we had, everything I thought we had, seemed like a dream now. I continually asked myself if this was how our life would be from now on, is this who Miguel truly was? Were my worries three years ago about his family changing his mind finally coming true?
Unfortunately, I couldn’t talk myself out of my fears this time. Even when I tried, Miguel reinforced every one by the way he acted daily.
It was Tuesday, we only had two more days until the surgery, but that meant at least another two weeks until we could leave. Josie and I were on our afternoon “house run.” It was my indoor version of going outside for exercise. I couldn’t have cared less to move around, but I knew Josie needed to stay active.
We hopped down the stairs and rounded the corner, skipping down the back hall hand in hand. Nearing the mysterious office door, I noticed it was slightly cracked open. I pulled Josie to a stop and took a step closer, lifting him in my arms to keep him quiet.
I could hear Osan inside and didn’t want him to know we were there. Leaning my ear in that direction, I tried to hear what was going on inside. I was at least ten feet away so I couldn’t see anything, but if I tried hard enough, I could make out a few words.
“Yes, it’s all set up.”
“They will…”
“It’s been…”
“We’ll see. It won’t be long now.”
Josie was getting impatient with me holding him back from his fun. Holding my finger to my mouth, I glanced at him, telling him to stay quiet.
He laughed, thinking it was a game, and cried out, “No, Mommy, you quiet now.”
I cringed. He was loud enough to hear all the way upstairs.
I turned around as quickly as I could, trying to escape before Osan saw us. I didn’t want him to think I was spying on his off-limits office. Even if that’s what I was doing, it wasn’t planned that way.
“What the hell are you doing?” Osan’s voice echoed angrily behind us.
Halting our escape, I turned to face him. “We were skipping to be precise. Is that okay?”
He looked at me in disbelief.
“Skipping?” he asked, like he didn’t know what the word meant.
I walked courageously toward him. I was done being intimidated by this man, regardless of his “kindness” in allowing us to use his home. I wouldn’t bow down to him.
Only two steps away, I stopped and looked directly at him.
“Yes, skipping. It’s a fun thing to do. Maybe you should try it sometime, it might bring a real smile to your face.”
The usual coffee colored skin that covered his face turned bright red and his eyes grew furious. He took a breath, exhaling as he replied in a monotone voice.
“Listen, you may be married to him, but that means nothing to me. You will do as I say in my home. I told you not to come near my office. That is not a request, do you understand?”
I should’ve been frightened. I should’ve agreed and left. But I didn’t. His words made me realize how close I was to his office and that I could see inside if I took one step further. Whatever he was hiding in there had something to do with Miguel and how he had been acting. I didn’t have any proof, it was just the feeling I had. If only I could see in there, I might be able to figure it out.
I smiled at him. I knew it would only make him angrier, but I didn’t care. He wasn’t going to win this game. I looked from him to his office door. It was halfway open, but the angle where I was standing didn’t allow me to see anything.
Boldly, I took a step to the side to look around Osan and see what all the fuss was about. Before I could get a glimpse, he spun around, grabbed the doorknob, and slammed it closed.
Hmph, isn’t that interesting. A little paranoid are we? That’s okay, he was gone all day long and where was I? Oh, that’s right. I’m locked in this house, with nothing to do. I guess I just found a new hobby.
Before he could say another word, I cut him off. “Don’t worry, I’m going. Save your yelling for someone who cares.”
I turned away and walked down the hall. Before I reached the end, I heard Osan open and close his door, the locks setting in place
. Looking back over my shoulder, I saw the empty hall where we had just stood.
“Well, Josie, wasn’t that fun?” It was sarcastic, but Josie bounced up and down, thinking it was the most exciting thing ever.
********
The rest of the evening and all of Wednesday were uneventful. Josie and I spent most of our time playing with his new toys and roaming around the house. Every time I had the chance I would try to go down and pick the locks to the office. But it was hard to find the time, because everybody had to be accounted for. Miguel and Osan had to be gone, the chauffeur needed to be gone or somewhere I knew he was, and the housekeeper needed to be absent. Nonetheless, I barely had the opportunity to try twice.
As much as I despised the man he was becoming, I needed Miguel’s love. I was so alone there. He was gone most of the time and when he was there, he really wasn’t. I couldn’t even call my sister. I tried to make friends with the chauffeur, but he never offered his name, or answered when I’d ask him for it. What kind of relationship could you have with a no-name friend? I started reading more, but each book I read made my depression worse, reminding me of what I had with Miguel back home. They all ended happily though, so I tried to convince myself that our end would be good too. He was just lost right now. It was all I had, but I grabbed onto that thought and held it close.
Miguel remained distant, so much so, that he made no attempt to have sex with me. Maybe he knew he didn’t deserve it after how he had been treating us, but I probably would’ve agreed if he had made some advance. I would’ve done almost anything to feel his love, even for a short time.
CHAPTER 21
Thursday finally arrived. We woke early and left to go to the hospital before the sun rose. I was more than ready to get this over with. I didn’t have any doubt in the doctor’s abilities to fix Josie and knew that once this was done, it would be one step closer to going home. Miguel, Josie, and I were driven to a specialized hospital center about an hour away from Osan’s house. I would’ve loved to look outside at everything we passed, but Josie was quite nervous. Miguel and I spent the majority of the ride keeping him busy and his mind occupied. I was able to ask Miguel a few questions about the center we were going to, though. It wasn’t the full service hospital that I expected, and I was curious why.
“It’s a center that specializes in orthopedic surgeries. It’s where Dr. Majmudan is conducting his seminar. They have a full staff and every tool necessary to complete Josie’s surgery, or any orthopedic surgery for that matter.” He explained.
Regardless of his personalities, I still trusted my husband and his love for our son and didn’t question it. Even if he was miles away from us emotionally, I knew he would always protect us and never do anything to put Josie in harm’s way.
When we were taken to a room to prepare Josie for surgery, I was actually pleased with it. They made it feel more like a home then a cold hospital room. The bed was the only piece of furniture that looked like it belonged in a hospital. Everything else was made out of wood – or something that looked like wood – and decorated in warm colors. It was soothing.
Josie’s surgery was completed without any problems. We had expected a six to eight hour surgery, but the doctors were able to finish in five. I was surprised, but thankful. Miguel was a nervous mess the entire time, mumbling to himself repeatedly. Half of the time I couldn’t understand him and the other half all I could decipher was that he should’ve done the surgery back home. I felt bad for him and tried to get him to calm down, but nothing helped. When they announced we could go in and see Josie, Miguel practically dragged me from my chair into his room.
Josie had an IV and was set up in some type of traction. He was sleeping from the pain medicine, but opened his eyes briefly when Miguel and I kissed him and said we loved him.
We both stayed the night there with him and Miguel continued being upset throughout the night. I assumed his worry about if the surgery was done correctly was bothering him. I knew it wasn’t about me because he hardly looked at me. When he did, he’d attempt a smile, then return his focus to Josie.
Early the next morning, we woke to a commotion coming from the other side of our hospital room door. I had fallen asleep in a portable bed that the nurses had brought into our room and Miguel sat next to Josie, in a seemingly uncomfortable chair, holding his hand all night. I had tried repeatedly to get him to join me, but he refused, saying he couldn’t leave his son. I let it go, hoping that holding his hand would make him feel better, and remind him of what was important.
When we heard the noise outside our door, we glanced at the door, listening intently. They were speaking in a different language so I looked to Miguel to explain.
“What are they saying?”
“There are two people, nurses I assume, who are yelling at the doctor about him approving Josiah’s move to Osan’s house.”
“Oh. Is it really that big of a deal? Maybe we shouldn’t.”
“Hold on.”
We listened for a few minutes while the trio outside the door went back and forth, only the differences in their tone of voices making it clear who was speaking until I heard Dr. Majmudan yell three words in English and everything got quiet.
“You are fired!”
I understood that part well enough.
Miguel leaned toward me and quietly explained. “They were trying to talk him out of it. The doctor was explaining the preparations that Osan had made, that there would be a nurse there 24 hours a day the first week, and if we needed one the second week, we’d do that as well. The two nurses were still arguing with him and he dismissed them.” Miguel looked at me and raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised as well.
“Wow. They were only trying to help.”
“Yes, but you don’t question your superiors like that here. They don’t respect people who do such a thing. He was actually showing them kindness and being patient with them by explaining things in the first place, but they wouldn’t back down.”
I sat next to Josie, and thought about what had happened. It was a shame they’d lose their jobs for trying to protect a little boy, but there was nothing I could do about it. What mattered now was lying in front of me.
********
When brought Josie home from the hospital two days later, or Osan’s home I should say, Josie’s room had been transformed even more. It was evident from the smell permeating the air that someone had disinfected everything. The dresser was moved out, and in its place was a small bed that the nurse or Miguel and I could use if we wanted to. The bed Josie would be sleeping on had some adjustments made to it. A firm mattress pad was added to the top so Josie’s back would be supported better, and it would prevent him from bending the wrong way while healing. In addition, an odd type of traction was set up that ran underneath the width of the bed and came back around the top, just slightly under the canopy. I didn’t remember Miguel, or any of the doctors we spoke to, discussing the need for traction, but I assumed it was only a precaution to avoid any sudden movements.
After settling him in, the doctor told us what to expect, and went over things to do and not do. Once he finished talking with us, Miguel walked the doctor downstairs. I expected him to return immediately, but he didn’t come back upstairs for nearly three hours. I assumed they were talking doctor stuff and got carried away, but I was still surprised. He was so worried and upset at the hospital, yet once we were home, he was already growing distant again. This new Miguel was so different than the one I knew.
********
The first four days after returning, Josie was in a lot of pain and the nurse was by his side the entire time. It was reassuring, but at the same time, frustrating. For one thing, it was a male nurse. I wasn’t expecting that, I was expecting someone with a motherly type affection to help him afterwards. But I quickly got over my concerns when I saw how good he was with Josie. He teased him some, smiled a lot, and he brought him toys to slowly get him moving. Another thing was that he spoke very little English. So, othe
r than him saying, “He good today,” or “He hurt now,” it was hard to know what was going on. Somehow Josie could understand him though. I, on the other hand, had to rely on the doctor’s daily visits to keep me up to speed.
Other than staying home with us the first day we returned, Miguel was gone most of the time. I finally lost my temper on the fourth day, and followed him into the bathroom while he was getting ready to leave that morning.
“Why are you leaving again, Miguel?”
“I told you before, Mel, I have to take care of some things for Osan.” He looked at me like I was crazy for asking.
“Osan? Why? This is your son, or did you forget that part since we got here?”
“Maelianna,” he said through clenched teeth, backing me up against the wall. Not with his hands, but with the vicious look and angry way his words were coming from his mouth, as his body moved forward toward mine. “You listen to me now. Everything I do is for you and Josiah. I have to do what I’m doing. I can’t explain it to you, but you must trust me. This is hurting me just as much as it is you.” He took one more look at me, then walked out of the bathroom with his shirt in his hands.
He was full of shit. There was no way that he was hurting as much as I was. I would never turn my back on him like he was doing to me. The riddles and different personalities were so confusing. He shut me out of whatever was going on since the first day we arrived, and continued to ignore our needs by doing whatever he was doing.
I decided that from that point on I couldn’t think about Miguel and me anymore. I had to focus on Josie, and getting him well enough to go home.
CHAPTER 22
Twisted Truths & Leveled Lies Page 19