by Kata Čuić
I wholly agree with her sentiment.
Baby shower? I mouth to Alex.
He shrugs, then mouths back, Surprise.
Jimmy reaches out to wrap a steadying hand around my elbow.
I didn’t realize I was swaying on my feet until just now.
Mrs. Fossoway places her hand over her chest when her gaze lands on me. A wide smile splits her pretty face. “Oh! She’s just beautiful! Didn’t I tell you she’d be beautiful, Henry?”
Mr. Fossoway finally steps into the crowded foyer. His gaze sweeps me over. It’s not creepy, but it makes me uncomfortable anyway. He smiles. “You did.”
She steps toward me with her free arm outstretched.
If not for Jimmy’s grasp on me, I might step back.
“It is so lovely to finally meet the woman who’s captured my son’s heart,” she exclaims as she pulls me in for an awkward hug while she’s still holding the diaper tower. She plants a firm kiss on my cheek. “I knew you must be something special to hold his attention for so long. You’ve done what no woman before you has ever been able to. And not for their lack of trying.”
She laughs like we’re sharing the most hilarious joke.
I strangle a whimper in my throat.
This is so much worse than being introduced to client’s spouses. I know things about this woman. Things that no one in the gathered family know except Alex. I’m only human. I’m guilty of bias, too. Though she’s being warm and welcoming toward me, my inclination toward her is anything but friendly.
Frankly, I want to slap her and scream at her for everything she’s put Alex through. That’s not a healthy way to work through conflict, and it wouldn’t make the situation better for anyone.
Alex pulls her away with one hand. His other arm still holds tightly to Davey’s shoulders. “Jesus, Mom. Personal boundaries ring a bell? Even Davey knows better.”
“Don’t talk about him like he’s not here,” she hisses.
I hate to admit that I agree with her once again.
I always imagined that meeting my future in-laws in an arranged marriage scenario would be awkward. These people won’t necessarily become my family, but the tension feels almost worse than predicted.
Still, I’m acutely aware of how much Alex loves his brothers. I have no doubt these men will also step up to be the uncles my baby girl wouldn’t have otherwise. I step toward Davey tentatively and offer him a smile.
“Hello. Thank you for coming to visit us. The long drive must have been difficult. Are you excited to be an uncle, too?”
He stares at me for a long time while everyone silently watches. Eventually, his gaze sweeps me from head to toe. He comes back to stare at my huge belly.
He slaps his hands over the place where my daughter rests for the time being. His touch is a little rough, but nothing that will do any damage.
Alex kisses his cheek, then releases Davey’s shoulders to cover his hands. He pulls Davey’s hands away only to replace them again and again, using a much lighter touch.
“Gentle,” Alex says. “A baby is growing in here. You have to be very gentle with Amira and your niece.”
I’m going to cry again. Already, my gaze blurs and my eyes sting with building tears. If Alex is this amazing with his brother, I can only imagine what a devoted, loving father he’ll be.
Women thirst after his well-advertised abs as it is. What will they do when they see photos of him cradling a newborn? There’s no hope for the female population. He’ll slay us all.
Davey jerks away and turns around at the sound of a throat clearing behind him.
The man, I recognize.
The smiling woman, too.
Because there’s no mistaking the resemblance.
Everyone notices. Everyone watches. Everyone holds their collective breath.
Except Davey. He’s just happy to see an old friend who’s more like another brother.
He throws his arms around Rob’s shoulders.
Even though he’s loaded down with baby gear, Rob returns Davey’s hug and murmurs, “Hi, buddy. I’m surprised you remember me. I haven’t seen you in years.”
That’s both of our faults.
He’s here now, ready to back me up. I’ve never been more grateful. We have a game plan. It’s going to be ugly; I’m willing to play dirty. The end goal hasn’t changed—do whatever it takes to make our baby mamas happy. Even if that means we get a little beat up in the process.
Evie breaks the awkward silence first with an outstretched hand. Her other arm cradles a blinking baby. “I’m Eva Falls. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Amira’s expression falters for only a split second before she pastes a smile on her face and returns the handshake. “Amira Deep. Congratulations on the birth of your son. I’m happy to see you’ve fully recovered.”
Evie bites her lip. She’s dying to cough up info about sleepless nights, bleeding for a few weeks straight, and boob infections. I can feel it.
I wish I didn’t know all those details already from these two. I think I’d rather go in blind and be surprised.
Mom chuckles. “Well, I guess this will give Jimmy a good excuse to hold off on starting his family any time soon. Your children will undoubtedly look like cousins.”
Amira pales. That’s not a small feat because she’s permanently tan.
My eye twitches.
“It’s too bad we live on opposite sides of the country,” Rob laughs as he herds Davey further into the house. He’s always been better at fumble recoveries than me. “They’re only going to be a few months apart. They’d be in the same class in school.”
Evie stares at Amira, then shrugs. “You’re Lebanese, right? I’m Greek. Similar cultures, but different languages. Are you Orthodox, too?”
Amira shakes her head, licks her lips, then casts her gaze to her swollen feet. “No. Maronite Catholic.” She lifts her head then glances at everyone with her black eyes. Another fake smile appears. “Please excuse me. I spend more time in the restroom these days than in any other room in the house.”
Evie nods. “I never knew it was possible to be so grateful to take a full piss every few hours instead of dribbling a teaspoon every five minutes before Robbie was born. Please do not feel the need to excuse yourself every time. Just go. Take care of yourself while you still can.”
Amira offers her a half smile, half grimace before waddling away.
Jimmy breaks the silence first. He gestures toward Evie, then in the direction Amira went. “You seriously don’t see it?”
“See what?” She bounces as Robbie starts to fuss in her arms.
Even Dad gapes at Evie. “You and Amira could be sisters!”
“On what planet?” Evie scrunches her face. “The only thing we have in common is tan skin and dark hair.”
I grin at Rob.
He shakes his head. He still thinks I’m in deep shit.
Sure, the first time he saw her on my phone, it looked bad. Amira was lying in bed at night, with only the lamp on for light. She was wearing her glasses. Her hair was flat-out psychotic, but it’s usually smooth as silk. They’re similar, but not at all the same.
Rob deposits Davey with Jimmy, then sets down a diaper bag, portable crib, and an overnight bag. He gestures toward the still open doorway. “Come help me finish unloading the cars.”
I roll my eyes, then follow him anyway. He obviously feels the need to huddle.
“Why the hell are you so late?” I go on the offense first. “You were supposed to get here before my family, so Amira would have time to adjust. Instead, she got blitzed by the whole crew at once.”
“Untrue.” Rob frowns as he pops open the trunk. “Mike and Tori aren’t here yet.”
“Fine,” I admit as I pull suitcases out of the back of my parents’ car. “You still promised to be here to keep me from fighting with my mom.”
Rob straightens. “I can’t control the weather, man. Our flight kept getting delayed. Your mom isn’t the problem y
ou need to focus on anyway. Evie might not see the resemblance, but everyone else sure as hell did. Amira did.”
“Maybe,” I hedge. “I won’t find out where her head’s at until later tonight though. If there’s one thing Amira’s good at, it’s locking down her emotions while there are people around.”
“Yeah. So, you see why I think she’s basically Evie’s doppelganger.” Rob glares at me. “You used my wife as a replacement for the woman who left you high and dry.”
I did. I really did. If Amira hadn’t tripped back into my life, I probably would have died without realizing what I’d done. I’m a bigger asshole than even I ever knew. It’s sure as fuck not fair to those women. I’m not sure Amira will be able to forgive and forget, but she doesn’t deserve to have all these questions hanging over her head when she needs to be focusing on labor and a new baby. I know where I stand. I want her to know, too.
“They’re not the same,” I insist, limping as we haul our load to the house. “Evie has blue eyes; Amira’s are black. Evie’s hair is curly; Amira’s is straight. Evie’s a midget; Amira’s an Amazon. Evie’s easy to get along with. I want to strangle Amira as much as I want to bang her.”
Rob pauses outside the door. “And you thought knocking her up would be a good litmus test to decide which you want to do more?”
I bite my tongue. I might have confessed some of my sins, but this secret I’ll take to the grave. As far as I’m concerned, Amira’s pregnant with my daughter. “She keeps my life interesting. I’m never bored with her.”
Rob shakes his head. His default setting since he first saw Amira has been disappointed. In me. “Coming from anyone else, I’d be insulted at your implication that my wife’s boring. From you though? I’m weirdly happy about it.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, Falls, but it’s not your approval I need. For a guy who’s made every wrong fucking decision in the book when it comes to Evie, I’m not exactly asking for relationship advice from you.”
Rob blows out a breath then flattens me with a stone-cold expression. “Because I know what it’s like to have everyone turn their backs on you when you fuck up, I’m here. We’re all human. Life isn’t fair. We know that better than anyone. I’m not questioning whether you really love Amira enough to go the distance. I’m not asking if or when you’re going to put a ring on her finger. You’re my brother. You asked me to be here, so I’m here.”
Now I feel like shit on multiple levels. I can’t afford to be dragging around the weight of the past if I want to be the best father possible. “I’m sorry.”
Rob’s expression collapses. His eyes widen. He snaps his fingers in front of my face. “Alex?”
“Yeah.” He’s such a fucking weirdo sometimes.
“Fossoway?” Rob waves his hand in front of my face. “Alex Fossoway? The guy who never apologizes? Are you high?”
Sadly, no. Even though my knee throbs just from unloading a couple of suitcases. “I can’t keep being the same person I was if I want something different for the future. I’m gonna be a dad soon. The woman of my dreams sleeps in my bed every night. If I wanna keep my girls, then I need to learn how to apologize when I fuck up. I know none of us are perfect. I fully expect I’m going to fuck up again.”
Rob pops his eyebrows. “Wow. As weird as this moment is, okay. This is not a game to you. All right. I’m in. Evie’s on the job to keep your mom as distracted as possible. I’ll keep running interference with everyone else and talking you up in front of Amira.”
“You make it sound like I need help with the easy part.”
Rob chuckles as he swings one suitcase then another inside the door. “Dude. You think Amira wasn’t upset about meeting Evie. I am flat-out telling you she didn’t have to pee again. She’s probably hiding out somewhere, bawling.”
“She’s a psychologist. She has healthier coping skills than that even while pregnant.” I grunt as I heave my family’s luggage inside. I can’t put off surgery much longer. I’ve just gotta hold out until the baby’s born. I glance around the living room and kitchen. No Amira.
Everyone’s in the living room, chatting and laughing while Davey watches the TV. Evie has no idea that she’s admiring a diaper tower made by a fucking fraud.
“Is Amira still in the bathroom?”
Mom glances up and frowns. “She hasn’t come back yet. Maybe you should go check on her.”
Rob fake coughs beside me. “Told ya so.”
I don’t have time to deal with his passive-aggressive shit. I check the half bath off the kitchen. Empty. She’s not on the patio. She isn’t in the home office that she took over for herself. My knee screams with every step I climb. Finally, I find her in our bedroom. She’s pacing the floor. It’s more of a duck walk, but I get the gist. She’s pissed.
I close the door behind me. “I didn’t mean to spring all of them on you at once. They were supposed to stagger their arrivals—”
My cheek burns and my eyes water. If it wasn’t for her hand clapped over her mouth and her eyes wide with horror, it might take me a few seconds longer to realize she slapped me. Hard.
Damn. She’s fast for a woman who’s ready to pop.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers through her fingers.
“It’s okay.” For every step I advance, she retreats.
“It’s not okay,” she hisses, finally dropping her hand. Her eyes narrow into black slits that promise more pain. “Violence is never okay, no matter how much someone deserves it.”
“If you had met her on the street as a stranger, you wouldn’t even notice,” I hedge.
I’m still amazed that Amira never scoured the internet for pictures. That’s willpower I definitely don’t have. The few times she told me about one of her fuckboys, I damn near broke my phone from searching them out.
“That’s what you think I’m mad about?” she roars.
I’m not even sure the closed bedroom door can keep that sound contained.
“How could you?” she chokes out.
Since I have no idea what she’s really mad about, I’m not actually playing dumb. “How could I what?”
Could be the surprise baby shower. Could be inviting a bunch of people to the house without telling her while she feels like a beached whale. Might be Evie. Not sure.
“Did you use her, Alex?”
I feel that accusation all the way to my black soul. It hurts way worse than my bum knee. I should’ve known the shrink would cut right to the chase.
“You couldn’t have me because you were scared, and I left, so you what? You latched onto someone as a practice run? Someone you already knew would never love you back?”
That pretty much sums it up. I rock back and forth on my heels. The movement kills my knee, but I welcome the pain. I can’t exactly mount a rousing defense.
She shakes her head and crosses her arms over her miracle tits. Her disappointment mirrors Rob’s. “That is a low fucking game to play with a woman who has already lost so much.”
That, I can’t let go.
“It was never a game,” I promise. “Never. I’ve always loved her in some capacity. It changed into something else. I swear, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
“That’s just it, Alex.” She eats up the distance between us until her breath fans over my chin. “You love everyone. Few people realize that about you, but I do. You think you have mommy issues, and you do, but not in the way you think. It’s not that you don’t believe in love. It’s that no one is special. Evie was a replacement for me; I was—and am—just another damsel in distress. The stripper you have a deal with at the club probably is, too.”
I open my mouth. I don’t know why. I can’t argue her point. I should actually check in with Lexi. I haven’t been at the club since the preseason.
She claps a hand over my mouth that’s only slightly gentler than her slap. “Don’t get me wrong. Your big heart that you hide so expertly isn’t something to be ashamed of. You are selfless, loyal, and caring to the po
int of your own detriment. You didn’t learn from your mother how to not believe in love. You learned how to be her opposite. That’s why you’ve gone to bat for all your brothers—both of blood and of choice—in their own relationships. If you truly didn’t believe in love, you wouldn’t be helping them with their love lives. You care more about everyone than about yourself because you don’t want to be like her. I have some bad news for you. We all have to care about ourselves at some point. Until you relearn everything you think you know, you’re never going to find what really makes you happy. You can never be my client, but I’ll tell you the same things I tell them. Football doesn’t last forever. There’s a whole wide world out there, ready and waiting for you to explore. The old proverb of not putting all your eggs in one basket exists for a reason. Once your time on the field is over, and this baby is all grown up and making her own way in the world, you’ll have to live with yourself and the choices you’ve made. You’re a good man, and I personally hope you figure out how to make a few good choices for yourself.”
This is not going at all how I expected. It’s far, far worse. I can convince her Evie isn’t an obstacle because it’s the truth. I have no idea how to convince her that she’s special to me when she’s already made up her mind that she’s just like everyone else. I don’t know how to punch through her own self-defenses that were developed over a lifetime. She cares about herself because her parents never did. We all have mommy and daddy issues.
She brushes past me to the door. Her hand is on the knob before I realize she’s not wearing my shirt anymore. She’s changed into a long summer dress that enhances her giant belly and tits. “That’s why I can’t give you my heart, Brawn. It’s not because you aren’t a worthy recipient. It’s because I promised myself I’d never agree to an arranged marriage. You’ll make a wonderful father, but I’ll never be any more special to you than any other woman on the planet. Because I love you, I hope you’ll find that woman someday.”
She closes the door behind her.
I should probably spend some time thinking about all the truth bombs she’s just dropped in my lap.