Nonetheless, now wasn’t the time for any of that. Now was the time to give her exactly what she asked for. What she needed.
Friendship.
“Then you’re off the market.” He grinned. “That makes this far less complicated, aye?”
Her eyes narrowed for a moment before she nodded once. “Actually, it does.”
Darach kept grinning. “Now that we’ve settled that, can I stay and keep you company?”
“As if you wouldn’t have anyway,” she said.
“True,” he conceded. “But at least now mayhap we can talk? Mayhap I can do what I should have from the start and get to know you better?”
“Hmm.” Jackie kept eying him. “I don’t know.” She made a show at considering it before she relented. “I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever having a little company right now.” She shrugged. “And getting to know each other better.”
Before he could speak, she held up a finger, voice stern. “As long as you realize I’m standing my ground. Friends. Nothing more.”
“Friends and nothing more,” he agreed.
“I mean it.”
“As do I.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely.”
Darach knew by the way she kept studying him that she didn’t believe him. Not entirely. But it seemed she wanted to connect more than anything else. And he didn’t blame her. If he were sick, he would want to connect with people too.
Anything to hold onto his humanity.
“So who would you like to talk about first? Me or you?” He issued his most charming smile. “Because I imagine we’re both verra interesting.”
The corner of her lip twitched. As though she wanted to smile but fought it. “Why don’t we start with you?” She rolled a pebble between her fingers. “Who is Darach Hamilton? I know you’ve avoided becoming laird and that you’re on the go a lot. Like everyone else, I figure the two are related. That’s about all I know of you outside of our brief time in New Hampshire.”
Darach pondered how much he should say, but in the end, found himself telling her more than expected.
“I’ve been a handful for my parents from the beginning.” He offered a small smile. “I started walking far later than I should have because of my magic. Whilst I dinnae remember it all that well, Da says ‘twas because I’m a wizard of air, and unfortunately my gift ignited when I was learning to walk.” He chuckled. “There’s nothing quite like a wee bairn getting caught in air currents when they’re trying to stand. From what I hear ‘twas comical.”
There was a soft smile on Jackie’s face when she said, “I can only imagine. You poor thing.”
“Och, nay,” Darach scoffed. “Once I got the hang of it, I was just fine. I didnae suffer the same sort of strife again until years later when I began to learn how to battle and deal with weaponry.”
Her eyebrows perked. “Uh oh.”
“Uh oh is right.” He shook his head. “Whilst I thought I was in control of my magic by then, ‘twas not the case. All went well enough when I used wooden swords. However, when I swung my first metal sword, everyone realized fast that the weight and mayhap the element of metal made a difference.”
Jackie scrunched her nose, amusement in her eyes as she leaned forward. “What happened?”
“I remember the day well as I’m sure most of my clan does. Ma and Da were there. It was high noon, and the sun was bright. The weather was bonnie. There was nothing but a light breeze. One that all should have heeded I suppose.” Darach wiped a hand over his face and shook his head, remembering. “When I swung the sword, it rippled the air in a way nobody anticipated. Chickens flipped, and feathers went everywhere. The head cook happened to be passing through at the time and tripped when she couldn’t see. Regrettably, she was carrying a tray full of porridge and ale.”
He offered her a sheepish look. “Caught in the wind currents I created, the porridge ending up all over the lad I was set to fight. Good thing it had already cooled off. Worse than that, a mug of ale sat overturned on Da’s head. He was dripping wet, his outfit a sodden mess. ‘Twas most unfortunate considering several lairds from neighboring clans had just arrived.”
Jackie put a hand over her mouth, eyes merry as she mumbled, “You’re kidding me?”
“Nay.” Darach shook his head and smiled. “While Ma did her best to save the day and greet the clansmen properly, she did it through a good run of tears she was laughing so hard.”
“Oh, God.” Jackie’s chuckle turned into a bubble of laughter. “I can totally see it. Your mom would’ve got a kick out of that.”
“Oh, she did.” Darach chuckled too, pleased by the light in her eyes when she spoke of his mother. “I know ‘twas Ma’s influence that had Da setting aside that mug and grinning at me before he turned his attention to the chieftains and welcomed them with a wide smile.”
“What makes you think it was your mom’s influence?” Jackie cocked her head. “Your Dad might run a little serious at times, but something tells me he would’ve responded that way even if your mom wasn’t there.”
“Mayhap,” Darach murmured. “’Tis hard to know with Da.”
“So it seems.” Jackie perched the pebble she’d been fiddling with on her bent knee. “But I think he’s just that way because of his beginnings. A lone soldier.” She kept her knee level and removed her hand, so the pebble stayed in place. “I think when people find out at a young age that they’ve got to act a certain way to maintain their mental stability, their simple humanity, it sort of sticks with them. It forms who they are.”
Darach eyed her. “You can relate to my Da?”
“Maybe.” Jackie kept her eyes trained on the pebble and her knee steady. “I can understand getting through one's circumstances, and learning to play the cards you’ve been dealt. Of making the most of a bad situation. I can relate to being grateful that I had a roof over my head and that even with the bad, there’s good to be had if you just stick it out.”
Darach wanted to ask a thousand questions.
He wanted to understand what put that haunted look in her eyes outside of the obvious.
“Your dad’s a good guy. Powerful,” she murmured. “But that’s not what he wants you to take from knowing him.”
Irritation flared just beneath the surface, but he tempered it. Jackie didn’t need that. But what did she know of his father? Nothing he hadn’t already figured out...or so he assumed.
“Da was tortured and imprisoned in the castle I’m to call my own. That I’m to become laird of,” he said. “Outside of the obvious, understanding what he wants and doesnae want from me hasnae always been easy to figure out.”
“I don’t know. I’d say he wants you to be happy.” Her eyes met his. “And to keep an open line of communication with him.”
He knew what she was getting at and supposed he ought to address it and clear the air. “I’m sorry Da got upset with you about Heidrek. He didnae have all the facts and was looking out for me.”
“Oh, I knew what he was doing.” She gave him a pointed look. “So does he have all the facts now?”
“Aye, lass.” He returned her pointed look. One that had everything to do with her revealing that they’d kissed. “Even more than I would’ve told him it seems.”
A little smirk curled her lips, and she shrugged before she scooped the pebble off her knee and started fiddling with it again. “Tell me about your life after you got the hang of magic. You’re not married. That’s a little surprising all things considered.”
He could only imagine what she meant by that. Mayhap his upcoming title and how that might appeal to a lass?
“Nay, not married.” Though hard to do, he tore his eyes from her face and focused on the pine nearby. What should he say now? The truth? Lies? How much was acceptable? In the end, his gut told him to keep giving her exactly what came to mind. “I really liked a lass once, but it didnae work out for the best.”
“You really liked just one woman?” He heard the
tempered humor in her voice. “I find that hard to believe.”
Darach knew she was hedging toward rumors of him and the Viking lass but kept things where they needed to be. In a genuine part of his past. “I thought myself in love with her. So on the eve of my seventeenth birthday, I asked her to marry me.”
“Really?” She eyed him with interest. “That sounds serious.”
“Everything seemed so serious back then, including the lasses,” he said. “She was the first one I kissed, and I wanted to do right by her.”
Jackie bit her lower lip and met his eyes. “Really?”
“Aye.” He nodded, realizing too late that he was walking into something that he couldn’t turn back from. “I was raised that a kiss was important and that a lad didnae give one unless he felt strongly. Da always said a kiss was not to be taken lightly.” His last words trailed off on a murmur. “That it could change your life.”
A heavy silence lingered between them until Jackie spoke. “And what did she say when you asked her to marry you?”
“Aye,” Darach whispered. “She said yes.”
Their eyes held. “Yet you’re not married.”
“Yet I’m not married,” he confirmed. Though tempted to look away he didn’t.
“And why is that?”
If she only knew. But to tell her would reveal the depth of his feelings and risk her friendship. Because if she realized how strongly he felt and for how long, she would push him away.
“Because I knew my love for her wasnae genuine," he said. “So I broke off the betrothal.”
Besides perking a brow, Jackie’s face remained emotionless. “So you broke her heart.”
All he wanted to do was explain why. That everything inside him screamed that it was wrong because he loved another. A phantom. Because of that phantom, a woman he had only dreamed of, he disappointed his father. He did something he shouldn’t have because he was eager for a kiss.
Her kiss.
Not the lass he was with but the one he’d dreamt of.
Jackie.
It was her lips he imagined when he pulled that lass into his arms. It was her lips he imagined melting beneath his. What else was a teenage boy to do but propose marriage? Especially when his father was watching him so closely.
“Aye, I broke her heart,” Darach finally said.
A long, somewhat awkward silence stretched between them before she finally spoke. “You were young. I suppose we all make mistakes when we’re too young to know better.”
“Aye,” he agreed softly, never more grateful for her understanding...or at least her take on it considering the information he’d provided.
But he should have known better than to relax.
“So what’s your deal now?” Her eyes met his. “You kissed me after you made it clear that you wanted Cassie, maybe even Nicole, and then you ended up with a Viking girl.”
So she knew about his interest in Cassie.
Bloody hell.
He could only imagine the comments his cousins would make if they were here now.
“I was attracted to Cassie,” he admitted. “She’s a kind soul.”
What he couldn’t tell her was what he figured out after the fact. Her friend reminded him of the lass he dreamt of. Her soft nature. Her sharp intelligence. But at the heart of it, he suspected it was because Cassie was the first Broun who traveled back in time and his soul sensed another was coming. One that meant far more.
Jackie.
“Cassie is a good person,” Jackie agreed. “And Nicole?”
“A good person too,” he said. “But I wasnae attracted to her beyond friendship. We’re too different.”
She seemed a bit overly concerned about his attraction to other women. He repressed a smile. That could only be a good thing. And gave him the opening he had been waiting for.
“As to the Viking lass? Nothing happened betwixt us.” He held her gaze. “I made sure it seemed like that, so you thought I wasnae interested in you. So that you would turn from me. So that I could keep you safe.”
“Ah,” she murmured. “Seems sort of pointless considering that you intended to push me into Heidrek’s arms anyway.”
There was that.
Something he wished he could undo but tried to keep in mind that at the time he thought there was no other choice.
She kept eying him with a speculative look on her face. One he hoped meant she was beginning to realize that she shouldn’t turn from this. That she shouldn’t push him away. Instead, she said the last thing he expected.
“I suppose I ought to come clean too,” she murmured. “Seeing how I ended up kissing Heidrek.”
Chapter Seven
JACKIE FELT AWFUL FOR saying it, but she was determined to push Darach away. He would not die because of her.
“And was it a good kiss?” he murmured with a heavy frown.
“It wasn’t bad.”
A short silence passed before he inhaled and nodded. “That’s good...” He seemed to struggle with the words as his brogue thickened. “’Tis good ye and Heidrek had time together.”
She should tell him it was just a kiss on the cheek but she couldn’t. Not if it helped turn him away. Because despite agreeing to be friends, it was becoming more and more clear how much he cared about her. Just look at the lengths he had gone to in order to keep her safe.
“So I’ve told you something of myself,” Darach finally said without looking at her. “Might you not share something of yourself now?”
“You really want to hear about my life after what I just told you?”
“Of course.” His eyes, at last, turned her way. “You sharing a kiss with the Viking has nothing to do with you and I becoming friends, lass.”
She should have known better than to hope it would.
“True.” God, her youth was nothing worth talking about but something about the way he relaxed and offered a small, genuine smile, made her start talking. And she said far more than intended.
“My parents died when I was young. A boating accident off the Canary Islands.”
“I’m sorry, lass.” He frowned. “That’s terrible.”
“It is.” Jackie sighed. “They were amazing. Fun. Unlike my uncle. He became the...prominent figure in my life.”
“So you didnae get along with him?”
“No.” Jackie shook her head and tried to keep the intensity from her voice. “Never.” She tore her eyes from his again and focused on the pebble in her hand. “He wasn’t really the sort who should’ve inherited a child.”
“Why not?” Darach’s brows flew together. “I cannae imagine you being all that difficult to raise.”
Jackie quirked the corner of her lips. “Let’s just say he was more interested in money than kids.”
“I dinnae ken.”
“My parents were rich. Really rich.” Jackie shrugged. “When they died my uncle inherited their estate.” She shook her head. “No, he became the executor until I was old enough to inherit it. But that meant he had access to the funds...most of them in the end it seems.”
Darach shifted a little closer, interest piqued. “And what did he do with those funds?”
“The better question is what didn’t he do with them?” she muttered. “He spent a lot, and I wasn’t allowed to touch a dime without his permission.” She frowned. “The estate paid for my college education, but like a fool, I spent more time going after various degrees than actually settling down and getting a job. A career. I was so frustrated that my uncle was squandering my parent’s money that I didn’t realize I was too.”
“Och, it couldnae be easy losing your parents so young, lass," he said. "And I dinnae think you necessarily squandered their money. “’Tis good to be educated, aye?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence but I’m already twenty-seven.” She shook her head. “It’s foolish of me not to have a steady job by now.” Jackie gave up on trying to balance the pebble on her knee and tossed it aside. “I almost copped out once to g
ain access to my inheritance.”
“How so?”
How much should she tell him? Better yet, why on Earth had she led them into a conversation that urged her to share how much they had in common one way or another? But when their eyes met, it seemed she was as willing to share as he was.
“I agreed to marry,” she said. “As it turned out, my parents were really old-fashioned. I couldn’t access my entire inheritance until I got married. As stipulated in their will, they wanted me to find the kind of love they shared before I searched for happiness with something as materialistic as money.”
“Wise parents.” He shifted even closer though they still sat a good four feet apart. “So you were betrothed?”
“Yes.”
“And what came of that?”
“I ended up doing the right thing.”
Darach slanted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Are you married then?”
Offended, she frowned. “What do you think considering I kissed you?”
“I think things can happen in the heat of the moment. Especially when a man kisses you and not the other way around,” he replied honestly.
He moved even closer.
Leave it alone. Don’t take his bait.
But take his bait she did.
“I kissed you back, Darach and you know it.” She picked up another pebble and focused on anything but him. “That said, if I were still engaged than that would’ve turned me into someone I wouldn’t be very proud of.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “So you’re no longer engaged?”
“No,” she whispered. “I broke it off a long time ago.”
Another bout of silence fell as he pondered her statement. “Why?”
“Because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons,” she said. “Because I didn’t love him. And worse than that, he was hand-picked by my uncle. That meant they likely came to some sort of agreement that would’ve kept my money from me. More so, they were of the same ilk. Men who like power, luxury, and prestige. Men who expect women to behave a certain way. I’d spent most of my childhood conforming to be the perfect doormat. The opposite of everything I used to be. But at least I had a roof over my head. Because my uncle threatened to put me in foster care more than once.”
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