Though it felt like a mace hit his knees and an axe caught him in the chest, he tried to follow but had to stop to let what she said sink in. No battle wound had ever felt so crippling.
He knew she was sick before, but now it somehow felt worse. Hell, even despite a Celtic goddess saying this was her plight life after life, nothing had quite gotten through until now.
There would be no saving her.
Jackie was going to die.
Chapter Fourteen
JACKIE WAS SO BUSY trying to escape Darach, that she didn’t realize what was happening until she was halfway across the courtyard.
“Look at this.” Erin grabbed her arm and pointed up. “I’ve seen amazing things since traveling back in time, but this takes the cake.”
Jackie was only vaguely aware of her surroundings, she was so upset. Adlin, Grant, Rònan, Niall, and Heidrek were lined up and clearly doing something with magic. She glanced up at the castle and saw bright lights surrounding the top.
“Pretty amazing, huh?” Erin said. “I get the feeling all they’re waiting for is Darach because...”
“Ye thought to say something like that and walk away, lass?” There was no time to vanish further into the crowd before Darach scooped her up and stormed back toward the castle. “’Twas poor of ye.”
The crowd fell back as the magic intensified.
“Put me down.” She struggled. “Don’t you see what’s happening? You should be helping them with the castle.”
“I see what’s happening,” he growled, walking through the maelstrom of magic and back up the stairs. “Yer a bloody coward.”
“You’re being an ass, Darach.” She kept struggling, but he was too strong. “Your family needs you.”
“They’ll have to wait.” He broke through the curtain of magic and entered the great hall. “Because we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” She arched hard and he, at last, let her down. “Everything’s been said that needs to be said.”
“Nay.” He blocked the stairs before she could go up. “Talk to me, Jackie. ‘Tis obvious you’re in pain.”
“Actually no,” she quipped as she headed for the fireplace. “Pain is typically the last sensation I feel.”
“Aye, and now I know why.” He followed her. “Why didn’t you just tell me from the start?”
“Tell you what?”
“That you were so sick,” he said. “What you were sick with.”
“Because it didn’t matter.”
“But it does.”
I tried, but the words always died on my lips. “It really doesn’t matter.” She stopped in front of the fire. “Incurable is incurable.”
“Aye, but sharing so others can help you through it would have been good.”
“I shared with Erin,” she said. “That was enough.”
“Nay.” He shook his head. “It wasnae enough. You should have leaned more on your friends...on me.”
“You?” She cocked her head. “The guy who avoided me without telling me why? You’re the last person I felt I could lean on. Not to mention I barely knew you.” Jackie ground her jaw. “Besides, I didn’t want this.” She gestured between them. “How you’re treating me now.”
Darach shook his head, the pain in his eyes almost more than she could handle.
“I’m sorry...I didnae mean to...”
Shit, this was hard. Too hard.
“I know,” she murmured and looked at the fire. Anything to avoid the pity in his eyes.
“’Tis not pity,” he said, his voice low and firm as he sensed her thoughts. “’Tis anything but.”
“Oh, really?” Angered by what had to be a lie, she met his eyes. “Then what is it?”
“Sadness,” he answered honestly, both aloud and within her mind.
“Because of my tumor?”
“Of course,” he said. “But more than that.” He took her hand. “Mostly because you were so afraid to share what was happening with you. Not only with me but everyone else. I felt what happened to you when you got overly upset about the wolf. The numbness you experience. ‘Tis not easy, lass. You’re verra brave.”
Brave? That’s about the last thing she felt. It was strange knowing he had experienced how numb she went. It was an unexpected connection she hadn’t anticipated. Still, she wished they weren’t having this conversation. That she was anywhere but here.
“No.” She yanked her hand away. “I don’t want any part of this.”
“Of what?”
“You!” Jackie trained her eyes on the fire. “And this shit you’re pulling.”
“I’ve never heard you curse.”
Her eyes shot to his. “Excuse me?”
“Curse.” He took her hand again. “You typically dinnae do it.”
“Actually, I do when I’m provoked.”
“And I’m provoking you?”
“You know you are.”
“Nay.” He reeled her a little closer. “If anything, you’re provoking yourself.”
“No.” She frowned. This time, when she tried to pull away, he didn’t let go. Regardless, she was on a roll. “You knew I was sick, Darach. Now you know why. Let’s just leave it at that. There’s nothing more to say.”
“But there is.” He pulled her closer. “You need to know that what you shared doesnae change how I feel.” The way he looked at her made every nerve ending come alive. “I want you.” His gaze seemed to intensify. “I love you, Jackie.”
“You need to get over it,” she whispered. “You just think you do because of our other life.”
“More than just one,” he murmured. “Remember, we’ve lived other lives. All with the same outcome. You die young. But that doesnae stop me from loving you.”
“Right.” She knew full well what had happened after she died in Ireland. “At least this time you have a choice, Darach. You know I’m sick. Why get so invested?”
“I have no choice. Not since the moment I laid eyes on you...since I started dreaming of you.” He pulled her against him and cupped his hand behind her neck. “Your illness makes no difference. I’d love you even if we only had a day left together.”
As their eyes held, it finally sunk in. He truly meant every word. And he was stubborn. So there was no turning from this. No pushing him away. He loved her, and that wasn’t going to change.
Yet the question remained, did she love him?
That was something she had religiously navigated around because she didn’t want to put his life at risk. Maybe, just maybe, the rules changed as to him dying if his love wasn’t returned. And maybe her saying as much would push him in the opposite direction.
“I don’t love you,” she murmured, surprised by how difficult it was to say.
“You dinnae have to, lass,” he whispered, kissing her cheek, then earlobe, then the tender area beneath her ear. “Even though I suspect you do.”
“No,” she denied. But as usual, he managed to weaken her resolve with either the right words or the way he looked at her...or touched her. Though she meant to push him away, she ended up clutching his tunic when he pressed her back against the side of the mantle, braced a hand above her head and closed his lips over hers.
A long, low rumble caused by what was happening outside echoed through the castle and the fire flared on the hearth.
“’Tis powerful magic,” he murmured into her mind as the kiss grew more passionate. “Good magic.”
Though she knew he referred to everyone else’s magic at work, he was implementing his too as he touched the mantel. Because she was somehow entangled within it, she felt his power seep into the wood. It swirled through them and the castle itself as his other hand rode her thigh. She groaned when desire rushed through her. Sensations intensified as their tongues twisted. It almost seemed like she felt not only what he did to her but what she did to him.
There was no way to know how long they stood there touching, stroking...needing far more. All she knew was that he had taken the fight right out
of her and replaced it was something else entirely. Blatant need. Desperation. Impatience.
She needed relief.
They needed relief.
“I cannae wait any longer, lass,” he groaned. “I want ye too bloody much.”
There was no denying it. She was too far gone. So when he swept her into his arms and headed upstairs, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his neck. Yet again, she had failed miserably at keeping him away. Perhaps if they slept together and finished this time, his interest would wane. Perhaps hers would.
Or it would grow stronger.
They were so desperate by the time he laid her down on his bed that they didn’t bother to take off their clothes. Their lips connected as he yanked up her skirt and his plaid and settled between her thighs. When he filled her with one, long deep thrust, she arched, gasped and exploded.
Three thrusts later, he joined her.
He locked up against her, pressed his forehead to the pillow and released a strangled groan and shudder. She tried to hold onto him but couldn’t as heat blasted through her and spasms rippled outward until her toes curled.
“Bloody hell, I’m sorry, lass. ‘Twas fast,” he finally whispered. “Ye just felt so damn good. And we didnae finish properly before.”
“Really good,” she whispered, unable to say much else. It was good all right. Amazingly so.
Their eyes met as thoughts he likely didn’t want her to hear brushed her mind. He hadn’t slept with anyone since she and her friends had shown up in New Hampshire. Since he laid eyes on her. And for a man like Darach, that had to have been difficult.
His lips curled slightly. “A man like me?”
She grinned. “You strike me as the affectionate type.”
“Mayhap.” He dropped a soft kiss on her lips as he worked at pulling her dress down. “I know you like the mysterious type. So what of affectionate types?”
“I think it’s fairly...obvious,” she gasped as he squeezed one nipple and sucked the other into his mouth. The man seriously knew how to use his lips, tongue, and teeth.
“I’d like it to be more obvious,” he murmured as he pulled her dress down further, exposing her stomach and hip bones. She had no idea what he meant until he continued exploring with his tongue and hands and magic. Everywhere he touched seemed to invoke a different sound. It became very clear that he made love like he battled, creatively and with more finesse than most. And it became even clearer that he knew a woman’s body as well as he knew how to wield a weapon.
The light trail of a rough finger had shivers racing everywhere. A press here and there on different points of her hipbone shot pleasure straight to her core. A swirl of his tongue in her bellybutton combined with a few fingers trailed down her side made her womb clench in anticipation.
By the time he yanked off her dress entirely and made his way between her legs, she was starting to feel a little wild. Free almost. She’d always been a fan of sex but had never felt it like this even before dealing with ill-timed numbness.
New sensations.
Soul deep pleasure.
What made it even better was that she knew he felt the same.
This was a first for them both.
“Oh, God,” she groaned as he worked the flesh between her legs. Before he could get too far, she shook her head and panted, “No.” Then she yanked at his clothing, eager to remove it. “Both of us.”
His brows perked with interest when he realized what she was after. “Och, lass, I like the way you think.” She never saw a man remove his clothing so fast. Seconds later, she was on top, and his mouth was between her legs.
Better yet, hers was between his.
After that, it was pure, unfiltered pleasure.
So much pleasure.
Because of their mental connection, she knew exactly what he liked and vice versa. Not only that, she thoroughly enjoyed every second of pleasing him. The sounds he made. The way he tasted. After another shattering climax found them, she lounged on top of him.
“So good,” he murmured, massaging her backside as he trailed a finger up and down her spine.
“Mm-hmm.” Limp, sated, her eyes were closed, and her cheek rested on his thigh.
“More,” he growled.
Jackie yelped when he tossed her onto her back. Before she had a chance to react, he flipped her onto her stomach.
“Insatiable,” she mumbled into the pillow, grinning.
“Aye,” he agreed. “When it comes to you.” His lips came close to her ear. “On your knees, lass.”
A shiver of awareness shot through her when he flicked his tongue against the side of her neck.
“No energy to,” she breathed.
“Nay?” His tone had grown suspiciously soft.
“No.”
She heard the grin in his voice. “Oh, I think there is.”
Her eyes rounded, and laughter erupted when he started tickling her. “Darach!” She tried to wiggle away but played right into his hands when she came to a knee to move forward. Taking advantage, he gripped her hips and pulled back, which brought up her other knee.
“There ye are,” he murmured before he thrust deep.
Laughter turned to a long moan, and she dropped to her elbows. He felt so incredible. Astounding. And he hadn’t even moved yet. Instead, he seemed to be enjoying the view as he caressed her ass and hips. She had never experienced a man who touched and massaged so much during sex. It was wonderful. And yes, affectionate. He made her feel worshiped and adored while at the same time thoroughly lusted after. Tender mixed with animalistic.
The more he didn’t move but touched her, the crazier she felt.
She needed more.
Friction.
Now.
“Darach,” she pleaded, her voice husky.
“Aye, Jackie?” he said a little too sweetly as he wrapped a hand around and touched her clit.
“No fair,” she said through clenched teeth. “Just move already.”
“But you wouldnae move for me when I asked you to,” he reminded. “So you’ll wait until I’m ready.”
“Will I then?” If he could tickle her into submission, then she could force the same from him. So she rolled her hips and rocked back and forth.
They both groaned as he cursed under his breath, gripped her hips again and took control. After that, she drifted away on pleasure. Far, far away. This time, he lasted considerably longer, his energy admirable and bone weakening. Several orgasms tore through her as he moved at varying speeds. Sometimes fast and deep. Sometimes slow and even deeper.
She eventually sank, her body putty in his hands. It was then as he rolled her onto her side and spooned her from behind that it grew far more intimate.
Loving.
He tilted her head and kissed her while touching between her legs again. He did everything so masterfully that mini-orgasms rolled through her in crests that built one on top of the other until she hit a plateau. One that kept her trembling.
It almost felt like her body waited for him.
As if their flesh worked in harmony separate from their minds.
When he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her tight against him and his breathing became harsher, she knew he was close. Something about that, the raw pleasure he felt, pushed her right off the plateau and seemingly straight out of her body. He released a deep chested groan and locked up tight against her. The feeling of him throbbing deep within only heightened her own acute ecstasy, and she struggled for breath.
She had no idea how much time passed as she drifted somewhere multi-dimensional. At some point, she ended up on her back with her eyes closed. When she finally opened them, Darach was propped on an elbow, gazing at her.
She almost felt bashful. “How long have you been watching me?”
“For a while.” He ran a finger along her jaw. “You’re hard to look away from.”
Her gaze got caught in those eyes of his. “I could say the same.”
“
Ye married me in at least one other life,” he murmured as he ran the pad of his thumb over her chin, the look in his eyes tender. “Marry me in this one, Jackie. I want ye to be mine in the eyes of God before I lose ye again.”
“What?” Her heart leapt. “You know I can’t do that.”
“But you can.” He cupped the side of her neck. “’Tis what people do when they’re in love.”
“I’m not in love,” she whispered, but even as she said the words, she knew something had changed. That she felt things for him that she never had for another. Intense things that she suspected might very well be love. Yet he didn’t need to know that.
“I’m inside your mind,” he said softly. “You cannae keep such from me.”
Right. She needed to remember that.
“I don’t believe in love at first sight or that you can be in love with someone so quickly.” Her eyes searched his. “It’s supposed to take years to develop through compatibility and shared interests.” She frowned. “So maybe what I’m feeling now is because our past lives are getting in the way.”
“Mayhap some of it but not all.” He again explored her jawline with a lazy finger. “If you havenae noticed, true love tends to happen quickly and often betwixt Brouns and MacLomains. Love that lasts straight into the afterlife.” He dropped a soft kiss on her lips. “You just need to accept and enjoy it. Not overthink it.”
Could she really, though? Wasn’t that selfish considering he was doomed?
“Nay,” he murmured. “I have chosen my own fate. ‘Tis inescapable. The only selfish thing you could do now is to deny me when we both want this so much.”
Jackie narrowed her eyes. “Are you trying to manipulate me?”
“That depends.” Darach grinned. “Is it working?”
“Maybe.” But now wasn’t the time to analyze his tactics. The sound of bagpipes had started to drift up from the great hall. “We should go downstairs and join the celebration. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And you don’t want to miss it.”
“Aye,” he agreed. “More so because of what we’ve shared.”
She didn’t respond, though she agreed. “Let’s go back down.”
The MacLomain Series: Later Years - a Scottish Time Travel Romance Boxed Set Page 101