by Anne Mercier
“Are you okay?” I ask, getting up to stand in front of her.
“I’m fine. The babies are getting restless,” Lucy tells us with a smile.
“It’s no wonder. There’s not nearly enough room in your tiny belly for three of Jesse Kingston’s babies. If they’re anything like that man, those babies are going to be huge,” Spenser announces.
“Gee, thanks, Spense. You’re not freaking me out or anything,” Lucy chides.
He scoffs. “It’s not like you’re going to push them out your vag. There’s no way any doctor in his right mind would let you deliver the Kingston Litter naturally. They’re definitely going to do a C-section.”
“Lord, I hope so,” Lucy agrees.
“God damn it, Spenser, I told you about this ‘litter’ business,” Jesse scolds from the door. He walks over to Lucy, leans in to kiss her and at the same time his hand goes to caress her swollen belly. I hope one day I’ll find a love like that. No, I hope I live long enough to find a love like that.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Spenser tells Jesse.
“No kidding,” Jesse replies. “Lucian. How’s it going, man?”
“Not bad. I’d stick around and catch up on shit, but I’m on in two minutes,” Lucian tells him.
“No worries. It’s not like there won’t be plenty of time for that,” Jesse says.
“Hell yeah. You and Burners are going to help heat up the BFD tour,” Xander says with a nod. “This is pretty damn cool.”
Jesse gives Lucian a look and Lucian shakes his head. “We’re clean man and straight.” He walks over to me and kisses my forehead. “See you later, BB.” Every time he says that, it sounds like ‘baby’ and I love it. No one’s called me by an endearment except my mother and that doesn’t count.
I watch him walk to the door where he turns back, giving me a huge smile and a wink before closing the door behind him.
“Looks like the tour is going to be a whole lot more interesting than I originally thought,” Jesse says.
“You have no idea,” Spenser tells him, and I think back to Ben’s reaction to Lucian kissing me. The man is seriously messed up and has no right to act like a jealous lover when he’s anything but that—to me. The groupies? Yeah, he’s definitely their lover and he doesn’t care which one he picks so long as they get him off.
“Nope, things are going to be just fine,” I announce and everyone gives me a look of disbelief. “Seriously, Ben Kingston can just mind his own damn business. He has no claim on me and I kind of like that Lucian does,” I admit.
Jesse smirks. “As I said, interesting. It’s going to be fun watching my brother twist and flail about like a fish out of water.”
Xander chuckles.
“What are you talking about?” I ask. “He hasn’t made a move on me, only given me looks. That, to me, is nothing more than a stranger would do on the street.”
“She’s got a point,” Sera agrees.
“Ben won’t see it that way,” Jesse tells us.
“He already doesn’t. You should have seen when he—” I cut Spenser off with an elbow to his side.
“Never mind what he did or didn’t do. It doesn’t matter to me one little bit. Now, where’s my outfit for tonight?” I ask.
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” Xander says, quoting Shakespeare.
“Whatever, dude. Think what you want.”
“I always do,” he tells me with a grin that I want to slap off his face. What is it about Xander Mackenzie that evokes snark and violence?
I don’t give him a second glance as I make my way over to where Simone and Carmen are waiting for me. It’s funny. I’m not nervous to go out there on the stage and shake my ass for a bunch of strangers, but the thought of Lucian watching has my stomach flip-flopping again. And the thought of Ben watching me has me clenching my fists because I know, I just know, instead of complimenting me on my performance, he’ll pick out the flaws and make a big production out of them. He’s such an asshole to me. So, why am I so attracted to him? Everyone knows there’s no changing a bad boy to a good boy.
As the girls help me get ready, I listen to Lucian and Burners rocking their asses off out there. Lucian with the black hair and icy eyes. Lucian with the inviting smile. Lucian with lips that set me on fire. I imagine his hands on my body, touching me, kissing me all over, and I take in a steadying breath. I want that. I want him to touch me. I want to know what it feels like to have a man touch me and, hopefully, pleasure me. I want to touch him too. I wonder if he’ll let me.
I look in the mirror, taking in the blush-colored skin-tight half top and what look to be high-waisted spanks and realize I look freaking hot. Carmen hands me a pair of large, black hoop earrings and as I’m putting them in, Simone is putting on a black and silver necklace.
“And shoes,” Carmen announces, handing me four-inch black platform sandals.
“Holy Hannah, I’m going to break my neck,” I announce to no one.
“You’ll be fine,” Carmen assures me.
“I guess dying from a broken neck is less painful than dying from cancer, right?” I joke—obviously poorly from the horrified looks on everyone’s faces. “Lighten up. If the cancer girl can’t joke about cancer, who can?”
“True that. You joke all you want, Coley,” Xander tells me.
“Thanks for your permission,” I snark and Xander looks down, shaking his head. I don’t mean to say things like that to him, they just fly out of my mouth. He makes me defensive and I don’t know why. He hasn’t done a darn thing to me, but from the moment I met him, I reacted to him like that. I’ll figure it out. I’ve got time and if I’m wrong, I’ll apologize. I have a feeling ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to be enough.
GOD DAMN IT! Lucian fucking Cordero. Is Coley kidding me right now? Christ. I make my way down the hallway and head out the back door. I need some air after seeing that shit. She pressed a kiss to his thumb. I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. It felt like a knife to the heart when she did that shit.
The looks she gives me tell me she’s interested, and her pissy demeanor tells me she knows I’m interested, but I’m not going to make a move on her anytime soon.
But she changed the rules today—Lucian changed them.
“Fuck,” I mutter and ask the roadie walking by for a cigarette. I haven’t smoked in a good four years, but I’m losing my shit. This girl is driving me crazy. Just as I’m about to light it, Kennedy steps in front of me.
“Don’t do it, man. Remember what a bitch it was to quit?”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I remember, but god damn it.”
“What’s got you worked up?” Kennedy asks.
I give him a bland look.
He chuckles. “I guess I should have asked ‘who’, and I already know the answer. What’d she do?”
I growl. “Lucian fucking kissed her.”
“Dude, no way.”
“Serious. And she told me it was none of my business.”
“And?” he prods.
“Then she kissed his fucking thumb right in front of me. What the fuck, man?” I ask.
Kennedy, silent but smart as fuck, watches me closely. “You haven’t made a move on her, man.”
“I swore I wouldn’t.”
“Swore to who?”
“Myself,” I tell him.
“Why the fuck would you do that? She’s eighteen and obviously interested in you.”
I scoff. “Not as interested as she is in Lucian.”
“Dude,” Kennedy chides.
“Yeah, yeah. She’s young, man. She has a lot of living to do before she settles down and I know if I get my hands on her I’m going to want forever.”
“Ben, Coley has done more living than most people do in two lifetimes. I can just tell she’s had it rough—not just by being sick. She’s got a lot of secrets and someone who carries that much baggage has already lived more than she should have to at that age.”
&nb
sp; “Maybe, but what if she wants to just fuck around and play the field, then what, man? If I go in, I’m all in and if she’s not, I won’t be able to accept that. We’ve got a couple months left on this tour with her. I’d go fucking nuts. I’m already going fucking nuts knowing she’s kissed Lucian.” I’m seething, pacing in front of Kennedy who watches me with knowing eyes.
“You think not going for it is going to make it better? Because if she and Lucian are kissing, you can bet that shit’s going to keep progressing. How’re you gonna feel when you find out they fuck? Because, man, we’re talking Lucian here. You know they’re gonna be fucking before long,” he tells me and I want to knock his teeth down his throat for even muttering those words. The fuck?
I growl again. “Double-edged sword here, man.”
Shit.
Kennedy nods, understanding. “I feel you, man. You’re safe for now. There’s no way a girl like Coley will just jump in bed with Lucian, but who knows how long that’s going to last, man. Spending all that time together will speed things up, you know?”
“Yeah.” I know and I want to put a fist in someone’s face. It’s not Lucian’s fault. He didn’t know—but then again, when he found out—because he has to know, that fucking smirk gave him away—he didn’t back off. If anything, it only encouraged him. That smug fucking grin.
We listen as Burners close out their set.
“What happened to your interest in Misty?” Kennedy asks.
I shrug a shoulder. “I don’t know. There’s just something… She came on pretty strong that one night and I almost fucked her right against the side of the bus, but it just felt wrong.”
“Coley already under your skin?”
“Maybe.” At first, Misty seemed too innocent and sweet, which is what drew me to her, but then like a flip of a coin she became really flirty and pretty aggressive. I’m not into that shit. Since then I’ve seen her flirting up Ethan. I wonder if he’s given her the banging she obviously needs.
“Let’s go man.” Kennedy motions me forward. “Let’s see the Blush Baby’s debut.”
“Christ.”
Kennedy chuckles.
“Fuck off.”
His chuckle turns into a laugh and I give him a shove.
“Knock it the fuck off, dick,” I tease.
“I can’t help it. You’re acting ridiculous and it’s funny as fuck,” Kennedy responds.
“One day this shit is going to happen to you and then I’ll be the one laughing,” I tell him.
“True enough, but right now it’s me who gets to do the laughing.”
Fucker.
“Benny!” Lucy calls out as I make my way down the hall with Kennedy.
“Luce,” I scold, shaking my head.
“You know you love it when she calls you that. Stop trying to deny it,” Ethan says, walking up behind us.
I give him a look that has him grinning. Fuckers all over tonight.
“How’re you feeling, Luce?” I ask.
“I’m good. I had a good nap today,” she tells me.
“Yeah, we know. We ‘heard’ your nap earlier,” I respond dryly.
She blushes. “I love naps.”
Jesse steps up behind her, his hands resting on her belly, his nose burying in her neck. “I love naps too,” he comments and I roll my eyes. I love that they’re so happy but they fuck like rabbits. I wonder if that’s ever going to stop. It’ll slow down for sure with triplets—Christ, triplets. How will they get any time to fuck, let alone sleep?
“What’s up, bro?” Jesse asks.
“Nada. Just want to see the new show.”
He nods. “From what I’ve seen when I snuck a couple peeks, it’s going to kick ass. Coley’s perfect.”
“Yeah, she is,” I mutter, not thinking.
Jesse lifts a brow and I shake my head. He knows. Hell, all of them know now if they didn’t before. I haven’t exactly made a secret out of it, watching her like some creeper. That’s what I feel like sometimes because even the littlest things make me want her. And when I say want, I mean want with an intensity that steals my breath.
The door to the dressing room opens and my heart stops. I feel like the coyote in those cartoons with the tongue hanging out and hearts bulging out of his eyes. I can’t stop looking at her, leering even, as she stands there in some barely-there outfit that reminds me of Lucy’s before-pregnancy outfits.
“Fuck,” I mutter and Coley looks at me, confusion morphs into sorrow. “No,” I tell her, taking her hand. “No. You’re beautiful.” I can’t let her think anything other than the truth. I don’t need her to think she’s not breathtaking, because she is that and so much more. Her eyes meet mine and I see the want I feel reflected in her eyes. No.
Reluctantly I let her hand go.
“Thank you,” she tells me with a smile and I nod before turning away. I walk over and grab a Gatorade. I need to stop this. She can’t be mine. I let anger fill me. This is what I need. If I stay angry, I won’t feel all the things for her I shouldn’t.
“We’re on,” Sera announces. Sera. I thought for a while there she might be the one, but it didn’t take long to figure out we weren’t anything more than friends. We shared a couple kisses and they were fucking amazing, but I didn’t feel her deep down like I do Coley and she didn’t feel me that way either. For her it was Cage. It was easy to see every time they were in the same room together.
Blush has come so far in such a short time. It’s like overnight stardom and we had nothing to do with that. It had everything to do with their talent.
Oh fuck, they have Coley dancing on a platform in her skin-tight pink outfit and fuck me heels. I reach down and adjust my erection. Just a couple strokes of my cock and I’d come. Just from watching her. I’m so pathetic.
The way her hips swivel and sway, her tits bouncing as she dances. I groan inwardly. I need to fuck and I need to fuck hard. I’ll pick someone tonight to get off. I don’t give a fuck who she is but I’m going to make damn sure she’s got red hair because I know even though I’ll be fucking a stranger, it’ll be Coley’s face I’m seeing.
When they come off the stage, the crowd is going wild. Everyone’s hyped up and sweaty.
“Thirsty,” Meggie announces, giving a quick wave and heading to the refreshment bar. Trace follows closely behind.
“I could use a drink,” Jace says.
“A big bottle of Powerade,” Meggie says, her voice becoming more faint with each step she takes away from us.
“That was one hell of a show,” I tell them.
“Fuck yeah, it was,” Xan agrees. “I’m still hard.”
Lucy rolls her eyes and Sera pinches his ass.
“Watch yourself, Fee,” warns a deep voice from behind us. Sera spins around, the biggest grin on her face I’ve ever seen. Then she shoves me to the side and jumps up onto Cage.
“Batman! Where’ve you been?” she asks, her lips against his, and he chuckles.
“Fee,” he breathes and kisses her softly. Damn.
I look away and watch as Blush’s instruments are taken off the stage and replaced by ours. I miss the duets Jesse and Lucy had going on so it was a smoother transition between our sets, but since Burners joined us we’ve cut that out. Jesse vetoed Lucy singing with Lucian, and so a change was made. I don’t care, really. I just want to play. Fuck yeah. This, music, it’s everything. The feeling of being able to get people to feel what we feel when we make and play the music—nothing beats that. Nothing.
It seems like we wait forever to take the stage, but with the setup Blush and we have, it’s a lot to take down and put up. We’ve got some kick ass roadies and I fucking love it. Just a few more minutes.
Lucian comes walking up.
“Good set man,” I tell him, shaking his hand, pushing down everything but my appreciation for his music.
“Thanks. Our sound guy doesn’t have things set up the way I want them to be,” he says, his frustration clear.
Coley strolls up, wi
ping her brow with a towel.
“Hey, BB,” Lucian greets and I grit my teeth.
“Hey,” she says back, giving him a grin. “Your soundboard dude is slacking.”
Lucian raises a brow and so do I.
“Bold statement, little girl,” Justin, Burners’ lead guitarist begins.
Coley shrugs. “Maybe, but it’s true.”
Lucian grins and puts his arm around her waist. “She’s right. I was just about to talk to Ben about it.”
Justin takes a swig of his beer, staring Coley down. “You think you can do better?”
“Justin—” Lucian begins but he’s cut off by a sideways glance. He’s testing her. Interesting.
“I don’t think I can, I know I can,” she tells him, crossing her arms, pushing her tits up. Shit. I’m getting hard again.
“Yeah?” Justin challenges. “Let’s see about that tomorrow when we get to Des Moines.”
“What?” she asks.
“You know you can do better, let’s see you do better. When we have rehearsal tomorrow, you set up the board how you think it should be and we’ll see if you’re full of shit or not.” He grins.
She grins back. “Challenge accepted. I’m Coley.”
He nods and takes the hand she’s offered. “Justin.”
He holds her hand just a little too long and stares intently.
“Nice to meet you,” she responds.
“Ditto. You want to get a drink?” he asks and Lucian bristles more than I do.
Lucian pulls her tight against his side. “I don’t think so, Tin.”
Justin shakes his head. “How the fuck do you always get there before me?”
“She’s different,” Lucian announces and both Justin’s and my eyebrows go up. He nods and I clench my fists. Fuck.
“We’re on, dude,” Xander tells me as he walks up. “Coley, you’re seriously hot out there. I was so fucking hard my dick could have pounded nails.” He gives her his playful grin and she rolls her eyes.
“Sounds like a personal problem.”
“It was, oh, it was. Nothing rubbing one out didn’t solve,” he announces and we all laugh—all except Coley who gives him a disgusted look. What is it with her not liking Xander? Everyone loves this guy. There’s no time to ask now. Jesse, Kennedy, and Ethan walk up.