by A L Williams
I am straight.
I only like women.
The ghost of rough hands sliding along my skin.
Chapter Eight
Rashawn
“What can I get you, hun?” Barbara said, leaning over the bar and kissing my cheek.
I smiled. She always managed to make me feel better with such a simple gesture. I was grateful for her every day. “A rum and coke.”
She frowned. “You don’t drink and it’s far too early.”
I arched a brow and peered around the room. “They are.”
“They aren’t my baby boy.”
I chuckled. “A burger.”
She smiled brightly, the lines of her crows feet spreading, and disappeared to the back.
I glanced up at the game playing on screen, trying to clear Dex from my mind, whose lips I still tasted. The muffled sounds of his moans drifted through my mind. I bit the inside of my cheek. I still didn’t know what the hell came over me. I didn't even know which one of us moved first. I was quite sure it was me, but it happened in an instant and all I could remember was the taste of his lips and how easily my hands slid along his skin.
Who would have thought a man could feel so good? His lean body was all hard lines, but he was softer than expected. With the presence of his rock-hard cock there was no mistaking him for a woman—even if he moaned like a whore.
My cock hardened and I tried to calm myself.
This is so fucked up.
Unable to banish Dex from my thoughts I sat stuck in a loop of confusion. Barbara walked back out with a steaming plate of food. She slid it to me. “Thank you,” I said.
“No problem, hun,” she said.
I glanced up at her, feeling her eyes burning into my forehead. She stood there studying me for so long I broke. “What?” I asked, knowing I was about to get an ear full. She had always been long winded when she started staring.
“Ra, what's the matter? You’ve been acting strange for a week. More so than usual. Did that girl do something to you? I swear if she doesn't stop with her nonsense, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. She needs to think before she acts. Doesn’t she know she’s hurting you or is she that selfish? Oh, never mind, I know the answer to that.”
I gawked at her and held up my hands. “Whoa! Slow down. It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
I chewed my lip, avoiding her assessing stare. I hadn’t told anyone what happened between Dex and I. Even Izzy didn’t know. How could I? I had seen how people treat gays and I wasn’t gay.
I wasn’t.
“Sweetheart. Whatever it is, I won’t judge. Just tell me. Please?”
“I kissed a man,” I whispered, glancing around the room.
I turned my gaze back to Barbara expecting judgement and disgust to find only affection. “Is that all?”
“I—”
She held up two fingers. “I’m not like those assholes at the group home.” I flinched. It was true that there were quite a few kids that I had gotten into fights over on top of protecting Izzy. A lot of the kids there were members of the queer community and some even had been disowned by their families because of it. The other kids at the home weren’t always nice about it. The kids at school were even worse. I couldn't remember how many times I’d been suspended because of a fight. The only reason I had never been arrested or expelled was because of my grades.
“So, you’re bi? I always thought you were straight, but assumptions make an ass out of me I guess,” she said, chuckling.
I tensed. “I’m not—I’m not bi.”
She didn’t speak, instead staring at me with an unreadable expression. She furrowed her brow and then schooled her face into a smile. “Okay.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Just okay?” She wasn’t one to just agree. Every time anyone opened their mouth, she would go on hour long rants about how wrong they were.
“Yes. Okay. It’s not my place to tell you what your sexuality is. I just want you to be happy.”
I relaxed. I loved that woman so much it wasn’t even funny. My heart ached at the thought of what it would be like to have her and Larry as my parents, instead of the druggies my biological parents were. “Thank you.”
A group of men walked in and she left, taking their order and preparing their food and drinks.
I stared at my plate and nibbled on a fry. I was lost and confused. One minute I was pissed off at him and next we were humping each other like horny teenagers. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
What happened to my life?
Before I knew it, Barbara returned. I glanced over at the men as they began to eat. How long had I been sitting here lost in thought?
“Is he someone we know?” she asked, leaning over with her elbows on the bar and her chin in her hands.
I grimaced. “Of course not.” The thought of kissing any of the men I knew disgusted me. I thought about their hard bodies and musky odor and cringed.
I was definitely straight.
Dex’s kiss swollen lips drifted through my mind again and my cock swelled.
Fucking Christ!
The day was getting longer and longer with each passing minute.
“Well, who is he?” she pushed.
I looked aside. “Uh...you remember that guy that Izzy was seeing?”
Barbara’s eyes grew so wide I thought they might fall out of her head and then she started laughing. I stared at her as if she’d lost her mind.
When the laughter subsided, she exhaled. “This is so great. Perfect even.”
“How?” I asked, cocking my head.
“You have been obsessing over that girl forever. It’s amusing that one of the guys she is screwing kissed you.”
“She’s not screwing him,” I said, surprised by the growl that fell from my lips.
She arched her brow. “Not yet, but you know how she is, hun. Eventually she’ll have that man on his knees.” She smirked. “Well, unless you get him there first.” She winked and instead of the expected disgust my arousal grew at the thought. I leaned forward, covering my groin with my hand. My body was a traitor.
“So, have you talked to him about it?”
“No.”
“Ra! You need to talk to that boy. He’s probably as confused as you are.”
My chest tightened. Was he all right? If his thoughts were anything like mine, he was probably a mess. The urge to find him and make sure he was okay surged, only restrained by fear. Being around him had gotten me into this mess in the first place. I had to keep my distance. “It’s best if we just let this go.”
She glared daggers at me. “Ra…”
“Please just let it go.”
She sighed. “Fine, but this is going to bite you in the ass. It’s obvious something is going on between you two. I guarantee it one day you will regret it.” Her age shone on her face and I wondered what she had been through.
She turned and walked to the back, the doors swinging rapidly behind her. I stared down at my burger, which had cooled, and took a bite. She didn’t understand. I couldn’t talk to him. What was I supposed to say?
Oh, about that kiss, it didn’t mean anything.
That sounded lame even to me. It was a fluke and I just needed to let it go.
You’re full of shit.
I pulled my phone out and dialed.
“Hello,” Izzy said.
“Hey, are you busy?” I asked.
“No. I’m just relaxing at home. Why?”
“I’m coming home.” I said, hoping I didn’t have to elaborate.
“Do you want something, boy?” she said, her voice shifting from her jovial tone to a hard one.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll be waiting.” The call ended.
I scooted back and stood, glancing at the doors to the kitchen. Barbara came out and met my gaze. I looked away quickly and left without a word.
You need to talk to that boy.
▽
When I walked t
hrough the door, Izzy was nowhere to be found. “I’m in the bedroom,” she called. I followed her voice, finding her lounging on her neatly made bed, dressed in lace panties with a matching garter belt and bra. She looked edible. I furrowed my brow confused by my flaccid cock. At the bar I couldn’t keep it down. What changed?
“Come here,” she said, and I refocused on her and walked over.
She watched me and licked her lips. My cock did nothing.
“On your knees.”
I dropped to the floor before the final word was uttered.
“Good boy,” she purred. My spine tingled at the praise, but my dick did not respond. I had always wanted her even before I walked into the room. What was happening to me?
“What's wrong, Ra? We don’t have to do this tonight. If you don't want to,” she said, her normal tone returning.
“I don’t want to play right now. I just want…”
“Okay, come here,” she said.
I stood and walked over to her and she rose on her toes, kissing my lips gently. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head as I guided her on the bed. I wanted to forget. I wanted to bury my cock inside of her and forget the man who had walked into my life, fucking everything up. The man with the perfect lips that spilled pure sin.
My cock filled and I discarded my clothes. Without any further discussion I buried myself in her wet heat, swallowing her moans with a hard kiss. I fucked her, rubbing her clit, until she came writhing under me. A moment later I came, carried away by memory of Dex’s heated gaze and warm body.
Chapter Nine
Dex
Another week had gone by and everything had returned to normal. Well, as normal as it could be. I was still thinking of Rashawn and my dick was still being a jerk.
Maybe I should go see a doctor.
“Earth to Dex,” Izzy said. I jumped and looked at her. She was glaring at me. “You didn't hear a word I said, did you?”
I rubbed the back of my head. “No, sorry, there has been a lot on my mind.”
She scoffed. “I swear you and Ra are so dramatic. He has been acting strange, too.”
I tensed, pushing down the urge to ask for more details. It was none of my business what was going on with him.
Is he as freaked out as I am? “Sorry, please tell me again. I promise I’ll listen.”
She studied me for a moment. “I was saying we all should go out again since last time was ruined.”
Yeah, in many ways. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
She poked out her lip. “Why? It was fun until Ra decided to be a dick.”
My chest tightened. “He wasn’t being a dick. You were really drunk.”
She rolled her eyes. “I was fine.”
I chewed my lip. I knew this conversation was going to come up. I just didn’t think it would so soon. “Izzy…”
“Yeah?”
“I think you have a drinking problem.”
She laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“We have been dating for three weeks now and every time you’ve had a drink.”
“I’m a grown woman and my job is stressful. I think that entitles me to a little bit of relaxation.”
“Yes. It does, but there is a difference between unwinding and drinking every night until you pass out.”
She waved her hand. “I’m fine.”
I sighed, suddenly very tired. She wasn’t listening and I didn’t have the energy to keep arguing. I’d spent years doing this with my mother. My father let her spiral out of control until one day she died of alcohol poisoning. It was hard watching someone else go down that same path. There was nothing wrong with drinking and having a good time. Hell, I did it in moderation and cautiously, unsure if my mother's addictive personality was genetic.
“Come on.” Izzy pushed.
“I don’t want to go out with Rashawn.”
Izzy tensed. “Why? I know he can be a dickhead, but he really is sweet. He just cares about me.”
“I know. I just...we don't get along.”
She arched a brow. “You’ve seen each other a total of two times.”
I searched for any reason to not go, but before I could she scooted closer in her chair. “Listen, he is a part of my life and if you want to be in it, you two are going to have to get along,” she said, pointedly.
A lump formed in my throat as annoyance grew. “Don’t talk down to me again. I’m not a child.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Well, you sure are acting like one. You two need to be adults and stop acting like I’m your property.”
I snorted. If only she knew. “That’s not what I’m doing. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”
“I have. He’s promised to behave.”
“Did he agree to go out, too?” I was surprised. After what happened I didn’t think he would come within twenty feet of me.
Maybe he liked it?
I frowned. It didn’t matter. I didn’t like it. It was a fluke.
Liar.
“No, I haven't told him yet.”
“You might want to before you start ordering me to go.”
She opened her mouth to probably say something snarky but closed it. “You’re probably right, but if he agrees then no argument from you.”
I nodded. He wasn’t going to, so I had nothing to worry about.
▽
I couldn't have been more wrong.
When Izzy called me two days later and told me he agreed I almost spit out my coffee. How? Why? I groaned, staring up at my ceiling as the sun sank below the sky. I had the next two days off from work. After class I went home and took a nap, waking up hours later to a call from Izzy. Before I knew it, we were going out to the same place we had that night when Rashawn and I…
Don’t think about it.
I didn’t need another hard on. I rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom, glancing at myself in the mirror and then undressed. Once in the shower I poured body wash onto a washcloth and lathered up, including the crease of my ass. When all of me was clean, I rinsed off, enjoying the heat of the water cascading around me.
Leaning my hand against the wall, I ducked my head and closed my eyes as the tension in my muscles receded. My mind drifted and I found myself wondering what kind of body wash Rashawn used. He always smelt of chocolate and it mingled with his male musk perfectly.
To me, men always smell like sweat and body odor. It was gross. So much so that I wondered why anyone would want to have sex with them.
Rashawn’s scent permeated my thoughts as I opened my eyes and looked at my cock. It was thick and hard. I bit my lip, fighting the urge to wrap my hand around it. I was not going to jerk off just before I saw him. That was just too much. I wouldn't be able to focus knowing he had gotten me to come. My face grew hot and I wasn't sure if it was from the hot water or my embarrassment.
I clenched my hand against the shower wall and eventually I reached down in defeat, wrapping my fingers around my dick. I groaned at the contact and thrusted shallowly into my fist, already desperate to come.
What was he doing to me?
I stroked my cock slowly raveling in the torturous slide, although not smooth. I reached over, releasing myself and grabbed the hair conditioner, making a mental note to get more lube. I squeezed some into my hand and started stroking once again. Without another thought I jerked fast and hard, wanting to get this over with. My spine began to tingle and my muscles flexed as pressure gathered in my lower body.
I adjusted my stance and held myself up against the wall with my free hand and started thrusting into my fist. With each pump I teetered on the edge. The bathroom was filled with steam and even though the water had started to cool, my flesh was hot. The memory of Rashawn’s bruising grip on my hips, and overpowering tongue down my throat, shoved me to the edge.
What would it feel like inside of him?
I shuddered and spilled onto the shower floor, shaking from the force of my orgasm.
Its intensity rose and fell like the waves of a tsunami. Cum continued to spurt from my cock as I braced myself against the wall. When the pleasure subsided, I slid down to the floor as my cum swirled down the drain, disappearing with the cold water as if it had never been.
It’s going to be a long night…
▽
I sat at a table as people moved past. Once again, a local band would be playing and it looked like this band was not as loud as the last. I was grateful I didn't want a headache and I wasn’t planning on drinking.
Not after that night.
The club was dimly lit. Bartenders rushed back and forth along the bar, taking orders and preparing drinks.
“There you are!” Izzy called. I turned as she sauntered over, Rashawn trailing behind her. From here I could tell he was already uncomfortable.
So why did you agree to come?
Izzy plopped down in a chair and gave me a big hug as Rashawn took the chair across from me. I glanced at him and he met my gaze before I quickly looked at Izzy.
“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Not tonight.”
She studied me for a moment and then shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
A moment later Rashawn and I were alone, making me regret not going with her. We stared at each other, neither of us saying a word. The loud chatter of the other patrons did nothing to make the silence between us any less deafening. I shifted in my seat as his eyes trailed over my body. I licked my lips as his scent wafted my nose and my cock twitched.
What the fuck kind of body wash is that?
Unable to handle his gaze and silence any longer I cross my arms. “Are you going to stare at me all night?”
He thinned his lips and leaned back and looked towards the bar. I followed his gaze, finding Izzy flirting with some guy at the bar. I tried to muster any form of jealousy, but there was none.
I turned back to Rashawn and studied him as he watched her, looking for any sign of anger. His expression was blank.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “You wanted to bite my head off the minute I was in her sights, but that guy you don’t care about?” I felt like a petulant child and it irritated me beyond words.