by Jayne Rylon
This wasn’t a sustainable life for Kason—or anyone, really.
Van looked at Kyra, who was scrolling through social media on her phone next to him, and figured he had more in common with Kason than he wanted to admit. The woman had friend-zoned him since that one time they’d kissed and she’d called it a “mistake”. It had been the best damn mistake of his life, and living each day so close to her and yet emotionally distant was killing him.
He’d figure out what to do about that right after he took care of Kason.
“Hey, Kyra. Do you still have Ollie’s number? That guy from Hot Rides?” Van asked, trying not to clench his jaw so hard he’d bust a tooth.
“Yeah. He’s sweet. We’ve been texting sometimes. He sends me pictures of Mr. Prickles.” She laughed.
“I bet he does.” Van forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand and not be sidetracked by his jealousy.
“Want to see?” Kyra flipped her phone around and showed him some shots in between some regular, if a little flirty, texts.
Okay, fine. The hedgehog was kind of cute. “Nice. So, would you mind talking to him about Kason?”
“You want me to be nosey and get the dirt on Jordan and Wren and what’s up?” Kyra perked up. “Because I’m totally in if you do.”
“Maybe.” Van scrubbed his hand over his face, hoping they were doing the right thing. “At the very least see if Gavyn might be willing to talk to him. Or that other guy, what was his name? Roman? Someone who knows about the stuff Kason is struggling with better than us.”
“Yeah, Roman is Quinn’s brother. He’s married to a man. Ollie told me that he’s a recovering addict. He actually met Gavyn when they were both in a treatment facility.”
“We need help. Kason needs help,” Van told her. “Without any outlets, he’s going to lose it sooner or later.”
Kyra nodded. “I’m scared for him too. I’ll do it.”
Her fingers flew over her phone as she typed out a message to Ollie, then clicked send. She looked up at Van and flashed him a wobbly smile. “You’re a good guy, you know that?”
“But not good enough for you?” Shit! Why had he said that out loud?
All of Kyra’s warmth and openness vanished in an instant. At the same time, her phone binged. “It’s Ollie. I’m going to go outside to call him.”
Great, just Van’s luck. She would end up falling for the quirky, free-spirited salvage man, who was pretty much the complete opposite of Van’s tight-assed, military background, head of security, play-by-the-book self.
Whatever. At least Kason would be safe. Ensuring that was both his job and his duty as the guy’s friend. Van leaned over the back of the bus’s couch and spread the blinds apart a bit so he could watch over Kyra while she was outside alone.
Sure enough, she was wearing a smile that was very unlike the glare she’d shot him as she stomped out of the bus a minute ago.
Fuck my life.
22
“Are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Kason hesitated before climbing into Van’s monstrosity of a truck.
“Of course.” Kyra held out her hand. “Come on. You’ve been talking with the Hot Rods and Hot Rides for a couple weeks. It’ll be good to hang out with them for a bit. Plus your motorcycle is ready. Aren’t you excited to see it?”
“Hell yes.” A flicker of his old self seemed to bubble up, but if he was being honest…and he really wanted to finally be truthful with both his friends and himself... “But you know Wren and Jordan will be there. If everyone is getting together to help Devra with her restaurant remodel today, there’s no way they won’t support her.”
“I’m going to say this now. We’re coming with you today as your friends. Anything and everything we see or hear is off the record,” Van promised. “Do whatever it is that will make things better for you. Not Kason Cox, the brand. But you, personally.”
“You need to talk to Wren and Jordan and work things out between you, even if it’s to apologize for walking away like you did. Ollie told me Wren’s been worried sick.” Kyra cleared her throat. “It’s not healthy for anyone to leave things unresolved.”
Kason caught the incredulous stare Van winged at her when she said that. He should lock them in the truck and make them fucking hash things out while they were at it. They were making some sort of sense though. He couldn’t keep going like this for long. Gavyn and Roman had told him pretty much the same thing. If he didn’t face his problems, he’d end up relying on crutches like he had before.
“Okay, fine.” He boosted himself into the truck. Van was driving and Kyra was sitting between them on the wide bench seat. For the entire three-hour drive to Middletown, he wondered what it would be like if he was riding with Jordan and Wren instead.
Despite what Rick had said the night everything blew up, Kason couldn’t shake the feeling that cutting himself off from them had been an even bigger mistake than letting his whole team down. His fingers drummed furiously on the door as they rolled into town.
If he’d had any hopes of finding a quiet moment to apologize to Wren and Jordan, they were shattered when they pulled up to the modest commercial building Trevon and his wife had bought. The place was swarming with people. Unlike the team supporting one of Kason shows, they were there because they loved Devra, Quinn, and Trevon, not because the trio was paying them. Must be nice.
“Whoa.” Kyra took in the bustle and said, “How do they have so many friends? I only know like ten people. Mostly you guys, and you’re kind of assholes.”
“I guess we gave up more than we realized for our lifestyle. How about for today we pretend to be normal, huh?” Kason took a deep breath then slid out of the truck. It wasn’t going to get any easier the longer he sat there.
Fortunately, the first familiar face he spotted was Gavyn’s. The man came over to them with a huge smile. He shook Kason’s hand and used the connection to drag him in for a manly half-hug, half-back slap. “I’m glad you made it. How are you doing?”
“Still here,” he said simply.
Gavyn nodded. “It will get better over time. I promise. I last saw Wren and Jordan inside. She’s welding some stainless steel shit in the kitchen and he’s painting the dining area, if you want to prepare yourself before you see them.”
Kason took a deep breath and tried to stand taller.
“Good. Now, come on over here. I want to introduce you to our friends from out of town. They’re part of a construction crew called Powertools, and they’re helping out with the renovations.”
“More like doing all the work while you mechanics are sitting around gossiping,” said one guy, who was installing a motorized awning, though his grin made it clear he wasn’t especially serious.
“That’s Mike. He’s their foreman, and this is Joe.” Gavyn pointed to the man holding the other end of the heavy contraption. “Dave is the big guy sitting down making the floor tile cuts. He’s got a bum leg. And those three over there are James, Devon, and Neil. They’re a threesome too.”
“Damn, it’s like there’s something in the water around here,” Van said from over Kason’s shoulder.
Kason tried not to be jealous of the bonds he could practically see tying everyone together. Everyone but him. He was an island. “You guys, I’m not sure this is so smart. Maybe I should go…”
Except right then Quinn stepped outside and saw them. “Kason! Van! Kyra! Hey!”
It settled him to see another familiar face, and realize that maybe he might not be as alone as he’d suspected, so they went over to meet the Hot Rides manager.
He waved them around back to where a canvas tarp covered what had to be Kason’s dramatically improved purple-and-orange bike. They’d agreed to bring it over to Devra’s future restaurant once Kason had confirmed he was on his way.
“Count me down,” Quinn said, gathering the fabric in his fists and grinning. “I hope you love it. Otherwise, I think Ollie might try to buy it off you. He’s been eyeing it lately.”
Kyra started by shouting, “Three!”
Van joined in for, “Two!”
And together all three of them yelled, “One!”
Then Quinn whipped the tarp off and Kason’s breath caught in his chest. The Ducati gleamed in the sunshine, and he forgot his worries. “Holy shit. It’s gorgeous.”
He rushed to the motorcycle and swung his leg over it. He’d never needed to go for a ride and blow off steam more than he did right then. Kyra whipped out her phone and started snapping pictures of him on the crown jewel of his collection. Kason ran his finger down the seam between the chassis and the fuel tank, fingering the weld there.
“When we wrap up here, maybe we’ll all go for a cruise together,” Quinn suggested. “Between the Hot Rods and us, we could have our own parade.”
“No joke. It looked like a classic car show as we came down the street.” Van glanced over his shoulder. “You guys know what the hell you’re doing.”
“Thanks.” Quinn beamed. “Now get off that so I can cover it up and protect it from the dust again. If we mess up Sally’s paintjob, she’ll be pissed.”
Kason was in the process of caressing the handlebars goodbye-for-now when the side door opened and Wren stepped out in her fireproof jumper and facemask.
He didn’t need to see any bit of her to know who it was. The way she carried herself was enough to shower him with sparks as intense as the ones she created when she was welding.
Wren flipped up her mask, squinting into the sunshine as she took in the sight of him astride the motorcycle. “Damn. It looks even better with you on it. I mean… Hey.”
She gave a weak wave before fanning her face with her gloves.
It was the perfect thing to say, as always. Kason laughed and felt at home despite what could have been an awkward reunion. He climbed off the motorcycle and went to her, giving her a hug that didn’t cross any boundaries between friend and lover. “Hi.”
And where Wren was, Jordan wasn’t far behind. He strolled outside and stopped dead when he saw Kason with his arms around her. Was he pissed? Kason couldn’t tell.
Quinn nodded to Kyra and Van. “Ollie’s inside trying to figure out how to put some furniture together. Want to see if he needs a hand?”
“Yeah, let’s do that,” Van said with a grimace even as Kyra perked up. They disappeared inside the future restaurant, leaving Kason, Wren, and Jordan in relative peace.
He knew it wouldn’t last so he got right to the point. “I’m sorry I bailed on you guys.”
Jordan frowned as he stepped closer. “I don’t care about that. I just want to know if you’re okay. We were concerned. What the hell happened?”
“It’s complicated.” Kason dropped his arms from Wren and stood apart so he could face them both. “I have to be careful of public opinion. Not for myself, or not only, but because there are so many people who depend on me. My manager, Rick—”
“Was that the asshole yelling at you that night when we were on the phone?” Jordan asked.
Kason nodded. “Yeah. Well, he saw an article online speculating about my sexuality. I poked around some more after he showed it to me and it was even on one of those gossip sites with a poll. Almost half of the people responded that if I was gay they wouldn’t listen to my music anymore. My fan base…isn’t necessarily the most enlightened, you know?”
“Dumbasses who care enough to give feedback like that tend to be angry and hateful. I wouldn’t say they’re representative. Besides, you already told us you’re not gay.” Wren tipped her head, looking like she wanted to smack some intolerant skulls together.
“I know. But Wren, if people can’t even come to terms with something familiar and should-be ordinary, they’re not going to get the subtleties and nuances of whatever nontraditional life I would like to build if I could.” He shrugged. “I hate it, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”
Jordan stepped forward and put his hand on Kason’s shoulder. He squeezed it as he said, “I understand. It’s hard. We support you, no matter what.”
Wren beamed at him, and for the first time, Kason felt a sliver of jealousy. Jordan got to live the life he wanted and have the woman of his dreams be proud of him. That was something Kason was never going to experience. Not as long as he was hiding, taking the coward’s way out. And he didn’t see that changing anytime soon.
Wren swallowed hard, then looked between them both. “You know this was the only thing in my life I really wanted to stick together and it fell apart on me. Twice. Too bad I can’t learn how to weld people. It’d be a hell of a lot easier than this.”
Jordan gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead. “We’re going to make things work. I promise. It’s taken us a while, but we’re getting there. Why don’t we go inside and finish what we started here today? Take out some of our frustration with strenuous physical labor. You up for that, Kason?”
“Hell yes. If it involves smashing things, that’s even better. I’d like to do whatever I can to help Devra out and spend some more time with you all, if you don’t mind me being around.” He couldn’t meet their stares.
“We want you here. We always want you here,” Wren told him matter-of-factly.
“Okay then.” He smiled.
Jordan opened the door and held it for him and Wren. When he walked inside, Devra squealed and rushed over to him. “You’re here! Thank you so much for coming. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and hoping everything was okay.”
Kason found himself surrounded by plenty of people he’d met before and several new ones too. They tolerated his presence, and even made him feel welcome, though they had to know what had happened at Trevon’s party and probably also with the addiction issues he’d been discussing with Roman and Gavyn.
When an older yet still damn impressive man walked over with a woman who looked like a more mature version of Amber and Nola, Kason was on his best behavior. Wren had told him about Tom and Ms. Brown and how they were the foundation of this entire special clan.
They’d been at Trevon’s party, but Kason hadn’t had the chance to officially be introduced to them before things had blown up in his face.
He held out his hand, but Ms. Brown bypassed it and swooped in for a hug. She patted his back and whispered in his ear, “Everything’s going to be okay, Kason. You’re doing your best. Keep trying.”
He had to pretend that something from the construction debris got in his eyes then as he blinked away the moisture in them. Damn, these people packed a punch.
Everywhere he looked, there were couples, or more, smiling, joking, and sweating as they built something together for the benefit of one of their own. They inspired him, and made him consider dreams more outlandish than being a star. Maybe there was something worth giving his fame up for.
This.
For several hours, he immersed himself in whatever tasks Devra or Mike assigned to him. Even Kyra and Van—somewhat reluctantly—seemed to be having a blast teaming up with Ollie to make a three-man assembly line for about a hundred chairs and twenty tables. Tom and Ms. Brown were keeping the mix of Powertools and Hot Rides kids entertained by letting them draw a “mural” on the alley wall with chalk.
It was incredible what one day and a bunch of people who rooted for each other could do.
By the time they were invited to the pavilion at Hot Rods for an end-of-the-day barbeque, Kason’s perspective had shifted drastically.
Van leaned his hip on the picnic table next to Kason as he sucked down a bottle of water. “I have to say, you have pretty good taste. These are quality people. I can see why you’d want to be a part of their family.”
Kyra wandered over with Ollie in tow. She said, “Are we talking about how Kason needs to make up with Wren and Jordan, yet?”
He widened his eyes dramatically at her in a universal sign for “Shhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Ollie chuckled. “If you think I haven’t heard Wren and Jordan whining about how much they’ve missed you pretty much every day for the past
week, you’re crazy. Would you please put them out of their misery?”
Okay so…keeping anything private around here was going to be impossible. It was a tradeoff Kason was willing to make. Because suddenly he wanted to fight. Even if he didn’t yet know how he could win.
“When I went through that rough patch the past couple of years, you two were always there trying to get me out of it. But now…you’re saying…you think this indulgence is good for me? Smart?” He couldn’t believe they were being so cool about the possibility of him hooking up with not one but two people, one of whom was a man. It was their jobs on the line, too. “Really?”
“I mean, it’s only sex with a couple you care deeply about.” Kyra shrugged. “What could be wrong with that?”
Ollie perked up at that. “You mean you’d theoretically be into a threesome?”
Van chugged the rest of his water.
“If I found two guys I wanted and they were into it, too? Hell yeah.” Kyra flung her arm out. “Look at these people. They’re the happiest bunch of motherfuckers I’ve ever seen. They must be doing something right.”
“I agree.” Van nodded solemnly.
“You do?” Kason rubbed his ear in case he was hearing things funny. “Mr. By-the-Book?”
“Sometimes you need to do a little re-writing.” Van looked at his watch. “Not to be the party pooper here, but we’ve got to hit the road soon if we’re going to rejoin the bus before they move on to the next city tonight. You’ve only got a few minutes. Why don’t you spend them trying to make things right with the people you really came here to see today?”
Kason listened, really listened, to what his best friends were telling him.
He nodded. Then jogged over to the tire swing where Jordan was pushing Wren gently back and forth.
“Hey,” he said lamely as he approached. “I’m going to have to hit the road soon, but I thought…maybe…if it’s not too late, could I start calling you two after my shows again?”