He listened, his fingers skating up and down my arms absently.
“He was so vulnerable that night, so wrecked. We both were,” I said, remembering how consumed I was by him, even though I knew he could never give me what I needed. “We made love one last time and afterward I told him it was a good-bye. He married her a couple of weeks later.”
He looked at me in wonder. “And that’s when you got pregnant with Joaquin?”
I nodded. “Pretty messed up, I know. Had I not been susceptible to him that last time . . .”
“You would never have that amazing kid in there,” he said, looking down the hall. “If you only knew the stupid decisions I’ve made over the years.”
“Well you’ll have to tell me sometime, to make up for that miserable story,” I said, a small smile tracing my lips. “Settle the score.”
“Deal.” He lifted the white envelope from the table. “So why would he ask Gloria to give you the money this time? Is he pitting you guys against each other?”
The idea struck me hard and I stood up to pace the room. “Is that what he’s doing? To get under my skin after . . .”
He reached for my arm to anchor me. “After what?”
“What a damn child,” I said, gritting my teeth.
“Meadow, you’re not making any sense,” he said, trying to keep up. “After what?”
I stopped and stared out the window. “After our last phone call. I gave him a good tongue lashing, told him he was immature and selfish. Told him that Gloria would eventually move on—that we all would.”
“What was his response?” he asked, as I stood unmoving. “Meadow?”
“I think he sounded sad,” I said. “Like he used to sound, you know?”
“He wasn’t angry?”
“He gets angry, believe me, I’ve seen it. But he and I . . . we’ve always been different, maybe because we have that friendship base.”
“Maybe because you’re the one who got away,” he said. “But God knows, he . . .”
“He what?”
“He gets around,” he said. “Probably leaves a string of women in every town he visits. Gloria’s got to know that. I tried telling her . . .”
“But she tunes it out,” I mumbled.
I shuddered, wanting nothing more to do with Sparrow. Truth was, he frightened me. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was immune to his anger.
“I have no idea why she stays so loyal,” I said and he gave me a look that reminded me just how steadfast I had stayed since he’d shown up in town. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No more.
“What will you do with that information?” I said, nodding at the envelope.
“Don’t worry, you won’t be tied to it,” he said. “I’ll have to question Gloria one more time about him. She might not be happy.”
“Well, I’m used to that.”
It was difficult to leave him on the couch as my entire body continued to tingle head to toe. I brought him blankets and a pillow and knelt in front of him until it was way too late, just breathing his same air, our lips meeting time and again. I hadn’t kissed somebody so much in a very long time and it felt like all of my nerve endings were raw and exposed.
Once I slid into my sheets, I had a hard time falling asleep. His touch was like a drug, along with his mouth. I probably could’ve stayed up all night with his lips against mine, his fingers in my hair.
I knew without a doubt that I would suffer once he left town for good. I had created this situation willingly and there was no reasonable solution for it. He lived elsewhere and had a job to do. That job involved tracking down Sparrow.
18
Meadow
In the morning I was woken up by Joaquin lightly jumping on my bed, obviously feeling much better. I squinted open my eyes and grabbed him in a surprise attack as he squealed and wiggled around.
Then he stilled in my arms and hugged me tight and my heart felt full.
“Momma, I think Mr. Alex is sick,” he said with wide eyes. “He’s lying on the couch.”
I sat up with him in my arms and stared into his face for any signs of distress while my gut churned with guilt over all of that making out we did.
I’d figured Alex would be gone before morning, like he always was. He knew it wouldn’t be good for Joaquin to see him here, even though he was only sleeping in the other room on a makeshift bed.
“Oh honey, he was so tired last night,” I said rubbing his shoulders. “He must’ve just laid down on the couch and fell asleep.”
“His job makes him tired?” he asked, eyes wide and innocent.
“Yes,” I said, thinking he’d understand because of how worn-out I arrived home sometimes.
“Does he chase bad guys?” he asked and I attempted to hold in my gasp. Either Joaquin overheard us talking one time or Alex told him something about his occupation.
“That’s part of his job, yes,” I said, hoping that answer satisfied him. And right there just magnified our problem, even if Alex and I were able see each other freely. Alex would always represent the man who was hunting Joaquin’s father.
“I’m sure Alex will wake up soon to get to work,” I said, standing up and throwing on my robe. “So see, he’s not sick.”
“Are you sure, Momma?” He stared at me from the bedside. “He’s sweaty like I was and he didn’t move when I tried to talk to him.”
What? He hadn’t given me those details just a minute ago.
I fastened my sash and strode into the living room, Joaquin on my heels.
As soon as I saw Alex I understood exactly why Joaquin was alarmed.
His skin looked clammy and he seemed completely zonked out with his hand strewn over his head and his bare leg sticking out from beneath the covers.
When I knelt down and touched his forehead he was burning up. Crap, looked like Mr. Bad Boy Marshal had caught Joaquin’s virus. I should’ve never allowed him to stay here again. But with the way viruses worked, he probably caught it a couple of days ago, and his body was now attempting to fight it off.
And I had kissed him senseless last night, which probably meant that I was next, though usually I was able to ward off most illnesses. That’s what happened when you had a snotty nosed kid breathing the same air for years.
“Alex,” I whispered, while simultaneously shaking his shoulder. He licked his dry lips and groaned.
“Joaquin,” I said, looking behind me. “I need you to go in the bathroom and wet a clean rag with cool water.”
“Did I spread my germs to him?” he whispered in awe.
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “Germs float around in the air and anybody could catch them. Now go get that rag.”
Joaquin toddled off and suddenly Alex’s eyes sprang open and he looked around as if on high alert. He struggled to lift up and I gently forced his shoulder down.
“Relax, everything’s okay,” I said and he slouched back into the cushions. “But you’re not fine. You’ve got a fever. You may have caught Joaquin’s illness.”
“Sorry, Mr. Alex.” Joaquin said, back by my side and handing me the dripping towel. I wiped at Alex’s forehead and then down his neck. He sighed into my touch.
“Joaquin, pull out the cereal box and milk,” I said. “Show me what a big boy you can be.”
I knew that would get him moving. He liked to show me he was the little man of the house. He clumsily stumbled toward the cupboard, spilled some milk on the table but at least got himself part of his breakfast.
“I can’t reach the cupboard, Momma.”
I stood up and brought down a bowl and then a spoon from the drawer. I hastily poured him some cereal and milk and he dug right in while I switched on the television to his favorite morning show.
I knelt back down by Alex whose eyes were shut with the wet cloth on his forehead. He looked so innocent and defenseless right then and it reminded me how my mother would say that men turned into babies when they were sick. Sparrow had rarely been ill so I hadn’t had to indulge him ver
y much. Though I probably wouldn’t have minded it at the time.
“Alex,” I said, flipping over the rag, which had turned hot from his heated skin. “You’re going to move to my room, so I can take your temperature, give you some meds, and then you can get a couple hours of decent sleep.”
“No, I . . .” he struggled to get up and play tough guy before he sank back down.
“No arguments,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’re pretty weak and in no condition to drive. I’m going to guess you haven’t been around kids and their germs very much.”
“I haven’t been sick in years,” he said in a defeated voice. As if it made him less human or something.
He had the wherewithal to tuck the blanket around his torso in order to hide his state of undress from Joaquin, who was thankfully already absorbed in some cartoon. I lifted his pants and shirt from the floor and felt the heavy weight of his gun and holster beneath the material. I wasn’t sure how somebody got used to having that hefty piece of metal close to their skin, but I supposed it just came natural after a time.
“C’mon, tough guy, let’s get you in bed.” I grasped his arm to help lift him up. It was the first time I’d seen him so helpless and the idea of it made my breath hitch.
“I like the sound of that,” he mumbled in a groggy voice that bordered on way too sexy in front of Joaquin.
“Shhhh,” I said as he stood up and leaned a bit on me, slinging his arm around my shoulder. “Mr. Badass Marshal needs a stronger immune system.”
“Is that what you call me behind my back?” he said as we walked down the hall to my room. “Hmmm . . . I think I like the sound of that.”
He seemed delirious and I held back a snicker as he fell face down in my bed and hugged my pillow to his chest.
“You need to lie on your back so I can take your temperature,” I said, trying to roll him over.
“Smells like you,” he muttered and hugged the material to his face for a second more before flipping over. My entire body buzzed from that endearing sentiment.
“Be right back.” I strode to the medicine chest to retrieve some fever reducer.
I sat down next to him on the bed and placed the thermometer beneath his tongue. “Hold still.”
He did as he was told but stared at me through a slit in his eyelids. His scrutiny was messing with my head so I looked away.
“You’re pretty in the morning,” he mumbled around the strip between his teeth.
I felt my skin heating up as I removed the thermometer from his lips.
“That’s just your fever talking,” I said, looking at the number and seeing that it was above 102. “You need some medicine.”
“So whatever you say doesn’t count when you’re sick?” he said, trying for humor but he was so ill, it came out all garbled sounding.
“Sure, why not?” I said, biting back a chuckle.
“Are you going to lie down with me?” he said. “Your sheets feel so soft.”
“There’s that fever again,” I said, practically squirming over the vision that kind of talk created in my mind. I knew he was half out of his mind but he didn’t know he was dealing with a woman who hadn’t had sex in quite a while. Plus, he was damn cute when he was sick. I had the urge to curl up beside him in bed and snuggle into his warmth.
Joaquin laughing at his cartoon brought me out of my thoughts. I poured the medicine on the plastic spoon and fed it to him.
“I need to get Joaquin ready for school,” I said, standing up. “And you’re going to stay put.”
“I like when you’re bossy,” he said, his hand sliding to my thigh.
I couldn’t get out of that room fast enough, lest I burn from the inside out. I wasn’t sure which one of us had the higher temperature in that moment.
After I dropped off Joaquin, I checked on Alex, who was so motionless in my bed, it was as if he were dead to the world. Had it not been for his sweaty forehead and the steady compression of his chest from his deep breaths, I would have rushed to his side to be sure of his pulse.
Even the constant buzz of his phone ringing didn’t wake him. But it certainly alarmed me, as I wondered who was attempting to reach him and whether or not it was important.
Crouching over his folded pants on the nightstand, I reached in his pocket for his cell. I wasn’t sure if I had the right to or not, but if it was an emergency, I’d certainly want to wake him up. There were several missed calls, one from Shane.
I made the decision right then to let Dakota know that Alex was in the throes of a nasty infection at my place. If she asked questions, I’d probably have to tell her more.
When I heard a knock at my door, my shoulders stiffened. I looked down at the leather band of his holster and wondered in that moment if I’d even know how to aim a gun if my life were in danger.
I considered bringing it with me to the door, especially if those men had returned. Instead, I inched my way down the hall to the entryway to have a look. My neighbor, Frank, who had first seen the fire in the park, was standing on the stoop. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Everything okay, Frank?” I asked from behind the screen.
He seemed clear-headed today and that was a plus, since he’d struggled on and off with his sobriety for years. The reservation offered services but I understood how much of a battle it was for my uncle, who had died from complications due to cirrhosis of the liver.
“A couple of men had come up to the pool hall the other day looking for Sparrow,” he said, smoothing his hand over the silky strands of hair that had come loose from behind his ear.
I nodded letting him know in my own way that I already had that information,
“Apparently one of the men overheard them talking about bothering you and Gloria about Sparrow, too,” he said. “Maybe intimidating you. I’ve been thinking about it ever since that fire happened and I wanted to make sure—”
“Yeah, I wondered the same thing,” I said, my stomach throbbing. “They’ve been here twice asking about him. But I don’t have any information to give them.”
“You be real careful, especially because of Joaquin,” he said, his eyes darting behind my shoulder to the living room. “I’ll keep an eye out for you.”
“I appreciate that,” I said.
“Word is that the feds are also in town looking for Sparrow?” he asked, eyebrows raised in a question.
Did he know? Was he fishing for information? Gossip?
“Do you remember the Marshals who were here for the Nakos investigation last year?” I asked, figuring I needed more allies in this community, no matter how they treated me when I had Joaquin out of wedlock. But Frank had been nothing but kind over the years. And Sparrow was finally showing his true colors.
“Sure, the man and lady working with Shane Garrity—” Shane had grown up in this community so Frank would be most familiar with him, especially since he also worked security at the casino for years before becoming a Marshal.
“Right,” I said.
“You friendly with them?” he asked.
“I—” I said, ignoring my impulse to look behind me to my bedroom. Alex’s rental car was still in the lot, but I was banking on the fact that it could’ve belonged to anybody. Which would’ve been the exact reason he had left his orange jeep at the hotel. “Sure. I’m not going to try to hold them back if that’s what you’re asking.”
He held up his hands. “Nah, I wouldn’t blame you, even if you helped him. They seemed like good people. I always thought it was wrong what folks in this town said about you. All that nastiness.”
“Thanks, Frank,” I said, my pulse stabilizing. “That means a lot.”
He turned to leave but before he could take another step, I asked my burning question. “What have you heard—about Sparrow?”
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet before finally looking me in the eye. “That he’s involved in moving drugs across the border. A dangerous business.”
I nodded and remained silent, not only becaus
e what he said made my pulse skyrocket but also because it seemed he was also trying to work something else out.
“I might not have a great reputation. Guess folks around here can’t count on me for much,” he said, his fingers shaking either from withdrawal or frustration. “But I always thought that boy was selfish and greedy. And now it looks like he’s power hungry too. I’m sorry you got caught up in all of that.”
His words had left me winded and all I could do was stare at his retreating form.
19
Alex
I’d been asleep for hours, which seemed to bleed into years. What the hell had happened to me? I hadn’t been this sick in decades. Not since the days when my mother would tuck me in and have me swallow ginger ale through a straw.
This was what being around kid’s germs did to you?
I’d heard Meadow come in and out of the room in my delirious state. Most likely to check on me, though I couldn’t be certain whether she did anything more than feel my forehead or place a wet rag on my neck. I couldn’t even answer my phone for God’s sake, let alone help if those men returned to intimidate her. What a fucking disaster.
But I did remember Meadow hovering over me, the smell of her skin infiltrating my nose. Her telling me that she let Dakota know that I was very ill, in case anybody needed to get in touch with me. She also told me that if my fever didn’t break within a few hours, Shane would be over to help take me to the doctor. No way in hell did I want any of that awkwardness. So I willed my body to heal.
Still, I couldn’t find it in me to care at that moment what the ramifications were of her telling Shane. I knew he and Dakota would keep it confidential and he might even call Charlie and let her know, but I figured they’d be more than curious to understand how and why I’d ended up in Meadow’s bed. Fuck.
I could hear Meadow reading animatedly to Joaquin in the next room and tucking him into bed.
“I love you to the moon and back,” Meadow said.
“I love you two times around Jupiter and back,” he said in a silly voice and she must’ve tickled him because he squealed.
Three Sacred Words (Golden Arrow #2) Page 11