“None,” Seviere said. “Sure, some of the club patrons had their own stash that they brought in, but no one even hinted that there was anything good I could score there. I didn’t just show up once or twice and ask either, I’m talking I was there as a regular club goer for more than six months and nothing.”
“We didn’t find anything during the prostitution investigation,” Drake said. “Nothing. If he was breaking the law, then he was brilliant at it.”
“Knowing what all of you know about the circumstances, how likely do you think it is that Nate Turner is connected to Billy Sampson’s drug bust?” I asked.
“Not likely. Right?” Seviere said then looked at the rest of the group to see if they agreed. It was a unanimous agreement that we were looking at two separate cases.
“So, we push all talk of Billy Sampson aside and focus solely on Nate Turner,” Dorchester said.
I had thumbed through the interviews but didn’t have time to go through them all in detail before we starting talking. I decided to read them thoroughly at home, but for the time being I wanted the highlights. I started with Dorchester. “Who claimed the body?”
“His lawyer did,” he replied.
“What about the interviews you did with his employees?” I asked him. “Did anyone give any reason why someone would want to kill him? Any fights with vendors, city officials who wanted to close him down, or a religious group who protested the immorality of a gay club? Anything?”
“Nothing,” Dorchester said. “They all seemed to really like working for him. He had a reputation as a hard ass and a playboy, but his employees didn’t see him that way. They spoke highly of him.”
I asked some follow-up questions as they came to me, but I didn’t learn anything new after nearly two hours of talking about the case. I blew out a frustrated breath and said, “I want to set up interviews with all of them again, but only after I’ve had a chance to review all of the notes. I’m pretty good at the bad cop thing,” I told them. Of course, the last time I played the part I was knocked unconscious, but they didn’t need to know that. “Besides, I’ve been to that club a time or two and I can promise you that not all of his employees loved him.”
I’d seen the looks that some of them gave him when he came out of his office. In most instances, people didn’t like to speak ill of the dead. In others, they had something to hide. What we needed to determine was if either applied to Nate Turner.
“Can you tell me where the bathroom is?” I asked Jade. “It’s a long trip back.”
“Sure, it’s the…”
“I’m heading that way too,” Seviere said, cutting him off. “I’ll show you.” I knew he wanted to have a private word with me so I wasn’t surprised when he said, “I’m not out at work,” once he was certain we were alone in the restroom.
“I have no desire to change that,” I assured him. “What happened between us was a long time ago and is no one’s business.”
I saw the relief wash over his face before he smiled at me, very similar to the one he gave me the first night we met. I had a suspicion I knew where his mind was going and I wanted to make my position clear to avoid any more awkwardness than already existed. I looked at my watch and said, “I need to start heading back. I have things to wrap up at the station before my dinner plans with my boyfriend.”
“Ah, I don’t want to hold you up. I’m sure we’ll see each other again before the case gets wrapped up,” he said. Although I appreciated his confidence, I figure it was more like if the case got wrapped up.
Dorchester and I got on the road as soon as I finished using the bathroom. I was sure that Adrian would be glad to get a break from his new partner, if he hadn’t killed him already.
“Let’s go rescue your partner from mine,” Dorchester said, reading my mind. I was once again grateful for the hand that fate dealt me and hoped that Adrian wouldn’t retaliate too terribly.
I regretted it the minute I sent Adrian that childish text asking if Gabe’s temporary new partner was cute. It made me look extremely insecure when I mostly wasn’t and I was reasonably certain that Adrian was going to tease Gabe about it. When Adrian told me that the new guy was fine, not cute, then I knew for a fact he was going to tease Gabe, so I bit the bullet and texted Gabe in hopes that I beat Adrian to the punch. Then Gabe sent me the sweetest damn text that made my insides melt.
I sat there at my dining table staring at the change of address card that I picked up from the post office for the longest time. I had filled it out and all it needed was Gabe’s signature to make it official. Was I basing my decision to ask Gabe to move in with me on genuine affection or fear? There was no doubt in my mind how much I loved Gabe, but there was still that nagging fear that Gabe would wake up one day, look at me, and wonder what the hell he was doing with me. It was a demon I had to battle on my own because Gabe had never given me a reason to believe that he wanted anyone else. I was his Sunshine.
Then I had to question: was having a healthy dose of uncertainty a bad thing? Wasn’t it good that I didn’t take Gabe and our relationship for granted or was it arrogant to believe that he could never find someone else? When did a healthy dose of uncertainty turn into something dangerous to a person’s psyche? What was the right balance of being confident that your man loved you without strutting around like an ignorant peacock? I had seen confident people’s relationships fail just as I had for the insecure ones. Why? I felt it was because the proper compromises weren’t met. I wasn’t just talking about food and television choices, but personality compromises. Opposites attracted, there was no doubt about it, but it took a lot of effort to make those relationships work.
Gabe was worth putting in the time–we were worth putting in the time. I needed be sure he felt the same way before I made such a big leap. I found myself evaluating things for so long that I didn’t realize it was time to open the salon until Meredith came upstairs and found me staring at the form. Hell, I didn’t even do my preopen inspection of the salon to make sure it was perfect for our clients.
Meredith sat across from me and reached for my hand. “He is madly in love with you, Josh.”
“I know that he is,” I replied. Now, is the part I left out.
“You’re just worried that it’s too soon or are you afraid that you’re ready and he’s not?” she asked softly.
“Both,” I replied honestly. “Mere, it’ll suck hairy balls if I tell him I want him to move in or I ask him to and he says no.” She shook her head like she didn’t see it happening. One minute I agreed with her then the next I was right back to having my doubts cast a huge shadow over my confidence.
“I know that you’ll find the right words, way, and time to bring it up with Gabe. Even if he says he isn’t ready it doesn’t mean that he never will be,” she reminded me. I nodded my head in agreement then she asked, “Ready to get your day going?”
I folded up the completed change of address card and put it in my back pocket to remind me of a decision I wanted and needed to make on a future I wanted and needed to have with Gabe. I picked up Savage’s cage and followed Meredith down the steps. I expected him to spew filth, but instead he said, “Big Daddy loves me.” I giggled because Gabe had been working to clean up Savage’s language and those four little words reminded me how much Gabe wanted to be a part of my life.
“He sure does, Dirty Bird,” I told Savage, as if he knew what the fuck I was saying.
The decision was made, just like that. If I hadn’t been sure, then the list of songs the radio played that day would’ve convinced me to take a chance, to put love first. Holy fuck, I was starting to sound like one of those fortune cookie messages.
That day, something happened that never did. I had a cancellation. Gasp! Less confident stylists might’ve panicked and worried that the end was near, but I accepted it for what it was–a client with the flu. I was actually grateful for a little bit of extra time to treat myself to a delicious lunch at the diner.
Oddly, it didn’t feel
right going there without Gabe, even though I’d gone there without him for twenty-eight years and only a few months with him. I was starting to feel that way about several places, most importantly the place I lay my head down each night. I could quiver in my shoes and worry what would happen when Gabe left me or I could accept that he was in it for the long haul and take the next step to show him that I was too.
My early morning decision was reaffirmed and I was starved to death. I had just ordered a plate of meatloaf, Brussel sprouts, and baked macaroni and cheese when I was joined by an uninvited, but not altogether unwelcomed, guest. “What’s up, Doc?”
“A whole lot of nothing much,” Kyle said, taking a seat across from me.
I don’t know where it came from or why I couldn’t stop the words from spilling from my mouth, but I blurted out, “Were you aware that Gabe didn’t know I cut your hair?”
“I’m not at all surprised,” Kyle said. The crooked grin on his face told me he wasn’t too upset about it, but I felt terrible. It sounded like I was rubbing it in. “We didn’t connect the way you two did, not even in the beginning when things were new.” Kyle tipped his head and said, “He showed more passion with you in that parking lot kiss then he ever did with me.”
I knew his receptionist told him all about the kiss Gabe planted on me in his parking lot, but Kyle sounded like he saw it with his own eyes. “How do you know?”
“Outside camera,” he replied. “Alyssa told me about the hot kiss, but I thought she was exaggerating so I had to see it for myself.” Wow, there was no way in hell I could watch a video of Gabe kissing someone else. It just went to show that they weren’t meant for one another.
“You thought she was exaggerating because I wasn’t his type?” I asked.
“No, because I had never witnessed the passion from Gabe that Alyssa described seeing. It’s true,” he said when I just kept staring at him like I had to be dreaming the conversation. “I can tell by your expression that lack of passion isn’t a problem you have with Gabe. I could also see the difference in him when he was with you in that video. You light up his entire world and let me tell you something, Josh, there isn’t a thing about you he wouldn’t notice or a place you could hide that he wouldn’t find you.”
“Wow,” I said softly.
“I want that for myself someday,” he said wistfully, then quickly added, “a relationship, but not with Gabe.”
“I knew what you meant.” I debated if I should say something to encourage him to ask a certain guy I knew out. I didn’t want to do anything to embarrass my friend and I didn’t know Kyle well enough to know how he’d receive it. I mean, it was much easier to dole out advice than to accept it. I went with, “You know, you’ll never find that relationship if you don’t take some chances.”
Kyle tilted his head as if he was giving my suggestion merit. “True,” he said noncommittally. “Anyway, I got to run, but I’ll see you around.”
Kyle left and I enjoyed my lunch in peace, grateful that people stopped losing their shit when I ordered something different than what I normally would on any given day. I bought two pieces of chocolate silk pie to go so I could have a celebration dessert with Gabe later then headed back to the salon.
The weather was a balmy thirty-eight degrees when I had left for lunch so I decided to walk. I heard someone calling my name and turned to find Laura Sampson running to catch up to me. Great! First I ran into the ex of my current love and then I ran into the current love of my first crush.
“Thanks for waiting for me,” Laura said breathlessly once she caught me. “Can you give me a few minutes of your time? I’ve been meaning to stop by the salon or call you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t stop by the salon because I don’t discuss my personal life there,” I told her, but not in a harsh way.
“You just talk about everyone else’s,” she fired back. She waved her hand to cut me off when I opened my mouth to respond to her allegation. “I know that you don’t act like that, Josh. I’m sorry. I’m just…”
“… Reeling?” I finished for her. “Shocked, disappointed, and angry too,” I also suggested.
Laura gave me a small smile and said, “Yes, to all of those things, but none of them are directed at you, despite my barb.” I wasn’t sure what all Laura had been told by the police, Feds, or even Billy himself, so I kept my mouth shut. She had something to say and I was going to let her say it. If she was wrong about something, I could correct her. “I’ve known about Billy’s feelings for you for a long time, since the beginning really.”
“I wouldn’t call them feelings,” I replied. So much for letting the woman talk. On the other hand, I did say I would correct her when she was wrong.
“He didn’t want to admit it then and he sure as hell doesn’t want to admit it now, but I know the truth. You know the truth,” she added. “Something has been off with Billy for a long time and I figured that maybe he was coming to terms with his sexuality, I was even prepared for the conversation and had a response ready to go. I wasn’t at all equipped for him to disappear, or to find out he’d been using drugs again, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to find out he’d been arrested. I don’t know many details–not that I’d discuss them with you–but I know that he had been harassing you. I’m really sorry for that, Josh.”
“It’s not your fault, Laura,” I said, reaching for her with my hand that wasn’t holding the paper bag with pie.
“Thanks for saying so,” she replied, but she didn’t sound convincing. “As for the rest of what I’ve been told,” she closed her eyes briefly before continuing, “I just can’t reconcile those things with the man I married and the father of my children. I just want to make sure he gets help.”
“I’m sorry, Laura.” Even though I wasn’t responsible for any of the things that happened, that didn’t mean I wasn’t sorry for what she was going through.
“It’s not your fault, Josh,” she said, smiling as she repeated my words. “I just wanted to clear the air so that there wasn’t any awkwardness between us.”
“Thank you for that, Laura. I won’t pretend I was looking forward to this run-in, but I’m glad it happened.”
“Take care of yourself,” she said as she took a few steps backwards. Then she gave me a small wave and turned around to walk away.
The interaction stayed on my mind for the rest of the day. There she was, a woman who could’ve been bitter and taken that bitterness on a rampage to hurt everyone in her path; instead, she was trying to comfort me and make me feel less awkward about a situation that she wasn’t responsible for. She wanted to help Billy rather than hurt him. I hoped I was a big enough person to feel the same way had I been in her shoes, but I wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t that I wished harm on Billy for what he did to me, I just wished that I didn’t have to see him or ever talk to him again. I wasn’t in love with Billy, but Laura clearly was.
The emotional rollercoaster that I had been on since I learned Billy had moved back to town caught up to me. All I wanted to do was go upstairs and crash hard, but that wasn’t the card I wanted to play. No, I had a very special card in my pocket that trumped all others.
My exhaustion faded the second I heard Gabe’s key in the door at the bottom of the steps. Buddy heard it too and pranced around in circles until Gabe knelt down and gave him the loving he wanted. It reminded me of the time Gabe threw himself down on the floor for a belly rub that led to other things. I launched myself into Gabe’s arms and wrapped my legs around his waist as soon as he got up from greeting Buddy.
“Hey there, Sunshine,” Gabe said. “You’re looking extra…” he narrowed his eyes as he searched for the proper word, “sunshiney.”
“That’s because I have something in my pants for you,” I replied, waggling my eyebrows.
“Oh, baby, I know all about the delights you have in your pants,” Gabe said then nuzzled my neck.
“I was referring to a particular delight–at least I hope you think so–in my right rear poc
ket,” I told Gabe. I slid to my feet after he pulled the change of address card out of my pocket. I bit my lip while he took his sweet-fucking-time looking it over without an expression on his face. “It just needs your signature on the bottom,” I said timidly.
Gabe threw his head back and laughed. I took a step back, unsure what he thought was so goddamned funny until he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blank change of address card. “I was going to get your permission first before I completed it, of course. I spent the last few hours thinking up cute ways to propose the idea to you, but came up flat. You, on the other hand, came up with the perfect plan. You jumped me and told me to reach inside your pants.”
I was so relieved that I was speechless, but Savage said it all for me. “Big Daddy’s home!”
“Yes, he is,” Gabe and I both said at the same time then began our celebration with a toe-curling kiss that led to hours of pleasure. It wasn’t until the next morning that I even remembered the pie I bought for us. So, we had celebration chocolate silk pie for breakfast with our coffee.
It felt like I floated to work the next day. I had just come off one of the most beautiful moments of my life, I got to eat chocolate pie for breakfast, and it was a Friday. What more could a man want in life? Had Josh been with me on the road to Cincinnati, he would have rattled off a bunch of snarky things had I voiced my thought, but my guy wasn’t riding shotgun that morning–Detective Dorchester was–and I kept my thought to myself.
“You’re looking mighty perky this morning,” Dorchester commented. “Must’ve had a wonderful evening.”
“Do you really want to hear about my evening?” I asked.
“I wasn’t really thinking along the lines of something that personal, but do you think the idea of two guys having sex creeps me out?” he asked. I saw him shaking his head out of my peripheral vision. “My sister is gay so you’re not the only person I know from the rainbow community.”
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