Josh snorted when it came time to talk about Paul. His reaction drew odd looks from Chaz and Meredith. Paul and I had hooked up once after my breakup with Kyle. Somehow Josh knew it immediately the night he and I ran into Paul at Vibe. I momentarily thought Josh would get mad that I had kept the secret from him, but I assured him that I made Paul aware that I was off the market. That seemed to be enough for Josh, who then asked me to take him to a hotel and fuck him like a stranger. What could’ve been a big fight turned out to be one of the most memorable nights I had with him.
I tilted my head to the side and considered his facial expressions. It was one of those times that I needed him to tell me how he felt because the expression on his face gave nothing away. I learned firsthand at my parents’ house just how brilliantly Josh could play poker. I filed away a mental note to ask Josh about the situation with Paul later and finished telling Mere and Chaz about the rest of the team.
“It sounds so…” Meredith broke off as she thought about the words to use.
“Miami Vice,” Josh supplied for her.
Meredith laughed. “I was going to say exciting, but I guess that works too.”
“Task forces are only fun when the actual busts are made,” I told them. “Until then, it’s a lot of boring legwork and planning. It often feels like you take one step forward and ten steps back.”
“Blissville must seem dull in comparison to Miami,” Chaz tossed out there.
Had I not been looking into Josh’s eyes just then, I might not have noticed the subtle tensing of his body when he heard Chaz’s comment.
“Quite the opposite actually,” I told Chaz, “and there’s no place I’d rather be.” Well, maybe someplace naked with the man I loved, but for the moment I’d settle for being in the same room with him.
Josh smiled sweetly at me then said, “Who wants to play Monopoly after dinner?”
We all groaned because Josh killed us every single time he played, demonstrating how good his business skills truly were. I blew out a resigned breath because it looked like I wouldn’t be getting my guy naked for quite some time.
It was more than just my ears that perked up when Gabe announced he knew another guy in town who was hooked on playing World of Warcraft online. It wasn’t jealousy, but intrigue that prompted my response to his statement. I recalled that Gabe once mentioned that there was an online gamer that caught Kyle’s attention. What if the world truly was smaller than we thought? I was sure the odds of Chaz being the same guy that Kyle met online were slim, but that didn’t mean impossible. Besides, I saw the attraction between Chaz and Kyle whenever they were in the same room together. Hell, Kyle had noticed Chaz when he was in a relationship with Gabe, not that he ever acted on it or behaved inappropriately. Quite honestly, a hot-blooded gay man would notice the attractiveness of another if there was breath in his body. There was nothing wrong with that.
I had planned on bringing it up as soon as our friends left, but then jealousy surfaced during our dinner conversation. I was ashamed of my reaction to hearing Paul’s name, even though I realized it was a human reaction that most people would feel. I wasn’t most people. I’d been through too much bullshit to let petty jealousy get in the way of my happiness. No matter how much I tried to reason with my heart, the damn thing still hurt in my chest. It appeared that I still had a long way to go before I wouldn’t feel inadequate compared to Gabe’s past lovers.
I didn’t like feeling the way that I did, and I wanted to postpone being alone with Gabe for the first time since we started dating. A sure-fire way of doing that was to play Monopoly with them. Look, my friends and Gabe had wonderful qualities but being business savvy wasn’t among them. It was like taking candy from a baby, but I went easier on them to drag out their misery and buy myself some more time before I had to act like a mature adult. It was so brutal that my sexy detective preferred to take his time in jail rather than play against me. Gabe assured me that he wasn’t placed in general population during his three turns.
“Have mercy!” Chaz threw down the remaining $7 to his name. As frustrated as he sounded, the smile on his face warmed my heart. It was amazing how much better he looked after a good meal, dessert, and the company of people who loved him.
“That’s what he said,” Gabe replied, nodding in my direction. Chaz and Meredith snorted at his joke. Gabe sent me a playful wink before he removed his game piece from the board and tossed it into the box. “I’m out.”
Meredith double tapped her fist against the dining room table. “Me too.” She looked at her watch and remarked how late it was. “At least we’re off tomorrow.”
“Some of us are working,” Gabe reminded her.
“True,” she replied with a grimace. “I’m sorry we stayed so late.”
“It’s ten o’clock, Mere. Even geezers like me can stay up that late and still function the next day.”
“I’m so glad you woke me up, so I didn’t sleep through dinner,” Chaz told Meredith. “I would’ve gladly missed out on the Monopoly, but not time with my best friends.” Chaz hugged each one of us tight enough that I wondered if something else was going on with him. I had to accept his reasoning or risk an argument.
After our friends had left, I had a difficult choice to make: talk or fuck? As a man, I would always lean toward fucking over talking, but I was smart enough to know that sometimes what we needed wasn’t always what we wanted. I decided to do things on my terms. I ran a hot bath because the water would help us both relax and we’d be conveniently naked for when it was time to get sexy with my man.
Instead of sitting between his legs like I normally did, I straddled Gabe’s lap so I could look into his soulful brown eyes. I had to mentally nudge myself to get to talking because I could easily get lost in his gaze, especially when he looked at me with so much love. I had to decide which topic I wanted to bring up first. I went with the most complicated one to get it out of the way.
“I need you to know that I trust you, Gabe. My issues with Paul are about my hang-ups and have nothing to do with you. No, I don’t like that you’re working together, but I understand that it doesn’t change things between us.”
Gabe reached up and cupped my face. “It doesn’t change anything between us. First, my time on this task force is temporary. I’ll only be making the trip to Cincinnati for the next week, or so, to conduct interviews, but I won’t be going there indefinitely. I doubt neither Captain Reardon nor Sheriff Tucker will permit Dorchester and me to stick with the task force much longer if something doesn’t break soon. Second, I don’t work with Paul. He only advised our team once. I’ve seen him more at Vibe than at the precinct. Even if I worked closely with him daily, I’d never choose him over you. I’m not just saying that because you’re naked in my lap.”
“I know,” I told him. “You love me.”
“More than anything, Sunshine.” Gabe kissed me tenderly then said, “I want to be able to help you work through the issues that hold you back. One of these days I want you to be able to tell me what made you feel this way. I know about Sampson, but you’ve never told me about the loser in college.”
“That’s heavier than what I wanted to delve into tonight,” I told him, but then realized that putting it off wasn’t going to help me. “Okay,” I finally said. I placed my hands on his strong shoulders and blew out a calming breath.
“I didn’t mean you had to do it now if you’re not ready,” Gabe said. Honestly, he looked as nervous to hear about my past as I felt about telling it.
“I’m not sure it’ll ever be easier unless I excise it from my soul,” I replied honestly. I wiggled as close as I could get to him, which prompted my body to react to my wet, naked man whose body was reacting to a wet and naked me. Gabe trailed his fingers up and down my spine soothingly. “You might’ve noticed that I’m on the skinny side.”
“Slender,” Gabe amended. “I’d even call you sleek, but never skinny. I associate unhealthy with the word skinny, and you’re healthy.”
“What’s Trenton’s last name?” Gabe asked. He worked his tense jaw from side to side, and I felt his fingers press a little tighter into my flesh.
“Um… I don’t recall.”
“That’s too bad,” Gabe remarked. “How could this Trenton be any worse than Sampson?”
“Billy hated himself, not me,” I told Gabe. “Trenton wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed that he was attracted to men, he was ashamed and embarrassed that he was attracted to me specifically. That, my love, is far worse.”
“I hate him,” Gabe said fiercely.
“Hate is a wasted emotion, but if it was possible for me to fall further in love with you than I already am, then I just did.” I lowered my head to his for a quick kiss then continued the story. Gabe’s heated reaction gave me the courage to talk about my past, but I wished that maybe I changed Trenton’s name for his safety. Gabe was a detective after all and trained in the art of finding people.
“You’re a better person than I am,” Gabe responded softly.
I thought back to the times I was rude to him out of fear, and the way I resisted the feelings he brought out in me. I was downright cruel to him at times all because I was afraid of him. “Not even close, Gabe.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree then.” Gabe inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “I think I’m ready for this.” The worried look in his dark eyes told me differently.
“Let me just give you the Cliff Notes version so we can get onto better ways of ending our evening.” One last kiss for courage and I laid it all out for him. “I was excited to meet a guy who was obviously open about his sexuality. It was what I’d hoped for when I started college at the University of Cincinnati. I was even more excited when it was obvious Trenton returned my interest, but it took me a while to realize that nothing had changed. We were hooking up secretly, never went out together on a date, and he never showed any affection to me in public when we were together. He introduced me as a ‘good friend’ to his friends in classes. The only difference was that he didn’t push me away or exhibit self-hatred after sex.
“It took me awhile to see what was going on because I didn’t want to believe it. I finally worked up the nerve to ask Trenton why he was ashamed… of me.” My voice came out shakily on the last part because it still hurt regardless of how long ago the conversation occurred or how far removed I was from the kid I used to be. “He thought I was too thin, not masculine enough, and my flamboyant personality was fun and feisty in the sack, but I was not the kind of person he saw long-term in his future.”
“Ouch,” Gabe said. He rubbed the skin over his heart, and it reminded me just how much he loved me. My hurt was his hurt too. “What did you do?”
“I tried to recreate myself into the person Trenton could see in his future. I was the boy version of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.”
“Who?” Gabe asked. After looking at him like he was from another planet, I explained to him about the movie and how I changed my physical appearance and the way I talked. I told him how I started lifting weights and taking supplements to build bulk. Like Warner in the movie, Trenton didn’t take my attempts seriously. He never got past his first impression of me. “So, she realized the guy she wanted wasn’t worth her time and effort in the end, right?” he asked once I finished with my comparisons.
“Yes, and she too found the man who appreciated her for the way she was, just like I did. See the similarities?” I asked.
“I do,” he agreed. “Although, I suspect Elle bounced back quicker than you did.”
“Yeah, well, she found her Gabe earlier in life than I did,” I told him.
“I’ll never be happy for the reasons your heart was guarded when we met, but I’ll never be sorry it was waiting for me either.” It still amazed me that this man loved me the way he did. “I’m the lucky one.”
“You have a way with words, Detective Smooth Talker.” I fought off my typical inclination to cover up the emotions he made me feel with snark or sex. “But I’m the lucky one.” Okay, so I wasn’t where I needed to be quite yet.
“We going to fight over who’s the luckiest or are we going to celebrate that we’ve found one another?”
“I’m all for a party,” I replied happily.
“Not that kind of celebration,” Gabe said huskily before he attacked my neck with his lips, tongue, and teeth. “I was thinking something more private for just the two of us. It involves twisted sheets and naked bodies.”
Sex would never solve any issues we had, individually or as a couple, but it was surely amazing to experience once we talked through the things that bothered us. I had never experienced anything close to the way Gabe made me feel when he took me in his arms and kissed me or when he slid deep inside my welcoming body. More than the physical contact, I craved the look in his eyes when I held him inside the most intimate parts of me.
That night, I felt our bond even stronger because I had given Gabe another piece from my past for safe keeping. My trust buoyed him while I reveled in the fact that he truly loved me despite my quirks, or perhaps because of them. The growly purrs that escaped his throat and the look of complete devotion in his eyes made me feel desired and cherished, things only Gabe could do for me.
I loved feeling the power surge through his strong, large body when we became one. The differences in our physique and strength were substantial, but being with Gabe never made me feel weak. In fact, knowing that I was the one who made him shake with need made me feel like I was ten feet tall and knowing that he gave his big, beautiful heart to me made me feel bulletproof.
Gabe took his time loving me that night, making sure I knew how much he cherished me. If his actions hadn’t been enough to get his message across, Gabe’s words after we had made love were proof that I had found the one for me. “Sunshine, please tell me that Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Douche are the only two assholes from your past because I’m not sure my heart or my restraint can handle more.”
First, I laughed my ass off because—holy fuck, Gabe was starting to sound too much like me. It reminded me of the article I read about same-sex couples starting to look and act alike. I had mentioned it to Gabe once before, and he scoffed at it, but it seemed to me he was just a few snarky phrases away from wearing skinny jeans. The idea of Gabe cramming his junk into the tight fabric made me laugh even harder until tears ran down my cheeks.
“Okay, I might sound a lot like you sometimes, but I’m not wearing fucking skinny jeans,” Gabe groused, reading my mind.
“Colored streak in your hair?” I asked.
“Nope.”
“Hair gel?” I asked.
“Nada.” I could feel Gabe’s chest vibrate with laughter beneath my cheek.
“Colorful jock straps?” I waggled my brows in the dark even though he couldn’t see them.
“Not under dress pants. Too obvious,” Gabe replied, catching me by surprise. The idea of Gabe in a jock was mouthwatering.
“Hmm, I can teach you to work my pole,” I offered.
“Now we’re talking.” I could tell by the drop in his voice that he wasn’t referring to my pole in the attic studio. It wasn’t the first time that Gabe suggested he was versatile.
I had never topped before, but that didn’t stop me from replying with the kind of brash cockiness that I showed to the world. “Not sure you’re ready for the thrills I would bring you.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Gabe said sleepily before he dropped a kiss on the top of my head.
I narrowed my eyes in the dark over the challenge he unknowingly issued. My mind immediately went to making big plans while my guy drifted off to sleep. I could either chew my bottom lip off with worry over my possible inade
quacies or I could make it a night Gabe would never forget. I knew the choice that old Josh would’ve made, but I was no longer that guy. I ate meatloaf on a Wednesday if I felt like it, I found the words in a word search puzzle out of order, I shared a life and a home with a man I loved, and if he wanted to be fucked, then I would do it!
“I knew you’d be in early,” Adrian said when he found me at my desk at six thirty the next morning. “Find anything yet?”
“Not much,” I replied. “It’s like the guy didn’t exist until a few years ago. There was no property ownership, federal tax or employment information available until 2014 when he surfaced in Louisiana.”
“What do you think it means?” Adrian asked, clearly as puzzled as I was.
“Well, it could be that Jonathon Silver isn’t his legal name,” I told my partner. “Maybe he’s a criminal with a new name, perhaps he’s living in the Witness Protection Program with a new identity, or he’s former CIA or one of the other alphabet agencies. The only thing I can find attached to him is a company called Gemelos Properties Inc., which just happens to be the name of the company who purchased Vibe. Gemelos is Spanish for twins.”
“Too much of a coincidence,” Adrian replied. “Sibling rivalry? Jealousy?”
“We won’t know until we get more information about Jonathon Silver’s background. I’m dying to know when Nate found out about his twin and what his reaction was. Maybe Jonathon was jealous of Nate’s success and decided to take it for himself,” I told Adrian.
“Damn, I wish I was working this case with you,” he replied.
“I wish you were too, partner.” I felt dread creeping in as I thought about the week ahead and hoped that the interviews revealed new leads. Adrian and I made an excellent team, and I missed working with him. He was the good cop to my bad, and we had one hell of a track record together. “You can bet I’ll be asking your feedback on what I find out.”
Welcome to Blissville Page 50