A lot of the big jobs had already been completed by the time we arrived, so Mere and I helped Josh unpack his kitchen. We laughed and had a great time. It was so wonderful to see my best friends madly in love, and I couldn’t wait until I found my other half too. Kyle and I made eye contact a few times throughout the day and even exchanged a few smiles, but we didn’t have a chance to talk until the pizza showed up.
“Did you order salad?” Kyle asked Gabe.
“Salad?” Harley, Meredith’s boyfriend, asked when he walked into the room. He hooked his arm around Meredith’s waist and pulled her toward him for a kiss. I smiled as I remembered the day that Meredith’s mom, Mama Richmond, sat in Meredith’s salon chair and orchestrated a date between her daughter and Harley. Mama Richmond made sure of two things: Harley liked kids, and he wasn’t one of those dumb-ass white boys who were ashamed to love black girls. Although they had only been dating a few months, I was positive they would have a beautiful life ahead of them.
“Yes, we did,” Josh answered Kyle. “I ordered a few salads and a veggie pizza. We could all stand to eat better.”
“Thank you,” Kyle replied, sounding relieved.
It’s funny how you can see things, but they don’t always click into place. I had seen Kyle eat at Josh and Gabe’s several times over the past few months and his eating habits never stuck out to me until my aunt mentioned his childhood obesity. I realized that while his plate always seemed to be loaded down, it mostly consisted of healthy foods and meats. In fact, I couldn’t recall seeing him eat any dessert until he showed up with the milkshake on July Fourth, which had been modified into a healthier version.
“What?” he asked when he caught me staring at him.
“Nothing,” I said nervously. “I was just checking out your bulge.”
“Really?” Kyle asked hopefully.
Josh spat his drink across the kitchen island drenching his soon-to-be husband. “Hey,” Gabe said, but he was too busy laughing to be angry.
“I-I meant your bulging biceps you have on display there,” I said, recovering quickly. “Is that real sweat glistening on them or did you have someone spray you with a squirt bottle for effect?”
Kyle smiled at my discomfort and said, “It’s real sweat. I have this philosophy that if you’re not getting sweaty and dirty, then you’re not doing it right.” Oh damn! That was a good one, I mentally added it to my book notes.
“You must bench press rhinos,” I said then wanted to bite my tongue off before I could embarrass myself further.
“Nah, just baby hippos,” Kyle said teasingly. “I have to be ready for my photo shoot coming up soon.”
I laughed nervously then looked around the room when no one else laughed with me and realized that we’d been left alone. “I didn’t mean to sound suggestive just now.”
“Kind of like you didn’t mean to kiss me and run off or like when you told me you’d answer my calls but ignored them,” Kyle said.
“Um, about that…”
“Food is here,” Josh yelled from the dining room. “Wash your hands and come eat.”
Kyle groaned at another interruption then smiled good-naturedly at me. “Can we talk about this later?”
“Sure,” I told him.
Unfortunately, Kyle received an emergency call and had to leave before he could even finish his salad and veggie pizza. He stopped by my chair on his way out, leaned down and whispered, “Answer when I call you or I’m going to show up at your front door.”
“Okay,” I said, sounding a little breathless.
I went home and dove into my project to pass the time, but I wasn’t as engaged as normal because I kept glancing at my phone to see if Kyle was calling. I had no idea what kind of emergency he’d had, but I figured it was probably serious. I wasn’t even sure he was going to call that same night, but I didn’t want to take a chance. As the hours grew later, I knew the chances of him calling me dwindled. I had a painful knot between my shoulder blades from tension and poor posture while writing. I decided to take a long, hot bath because I knew it would be another sleepless night if I didn’t.
I glanced at my phone and debated leaving it in my bedroom rather than take it with me but decided it would be my luck that he would call me as soon as I sank into the hot water. I grabbed a glass of wine, a dog-eared paperback copy of Agatha Christie’s The Mysterious Affair at Styles, my phone, and set them all on the nifty bath tray that my grandmother got me for Christmas. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world that Grandma Gertie didn’t hesitate to buy her grandson things he could use while taking a bath. Of course, I inherited my love for baths and books from her.
I sighed out loud when I slid down into the hot water. I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and mentally pictured the tension leaving my body. It was working too, until my phone rang. The sound was louder in the small space as it echoed off the porcelain surfaces and I jerked in surprise, knocking my glass of wine and my phone into the bath water.
“Fuck!” I yelled as I fished my phone out of the bath. “Nooooooo!” Kyle would think I ignored him again and I was out an expensive smartphone. “Damn it!”
To be honest, I was angrier about missing Kyle’s call than my phone because I at least had insurance on the damn thing. It was more of an inconvenience than a great expense. I couldn’t afford to let Kyle think I was leading him on if I wanted a chance with him.
I almost tripped getting out of the bathtub and then nearly lost my balance when I slid across the tile floor. I was cursing the fact that I didn’t have a damn landline and sure as hell wasn’t about to traipse across the yard to my grandma’s house to borrow her phone.
“Maybe this is a sign it’s not meant to be,” I said to myself as I wrapped a towel around my waist. There was a loud knock on my front door as if fate were offering up a rebuttal. “It can’t be.” The knock came again, but it was even louder the second time around.
I didn’t stop to think about my attire—or lack thereof—in my haste to answer the door so that my visitor didn’t wake the Matrons. I quickly unlocked the door and jerked it open. “Keep it down,” I hissed between my teeth. “They’ll hear you.”
Kyle just stood there with his arm suspended in the air like he was about to knock again. His eyes raked over my body and lingered at my nipples that had hardened when the breeze hit my wet body. “Who?”
“Isn’t that my line?” I asked in confusion.
“What?” he asked, sounding just as befuddled.
“Well, you knock knocked on my door, so shouldn’t I be asking who’s there?” I asked Kyle. Maybe my reference to knock knock jokes wasn’t as obvious as I thought.
Kyle’s head bounced slightly to the left and right while he thought it over for a second. “Oh, I guess you probably should have asked that before you answered the door naked. Who don’t you want to hear me?” Kyle asked.
“The neighbors,” I answered, but didn’t get more specific. “And I’m not naked,” I argued.
“That towel is a little threadbare,” Kyle said, nodding in the direction of my crotch.
It had been a little over a week since I’d done laundry and I had indeed grabbed the shabbiest of my bath towels. I sent a silent prayer upward that my cock and balls weren’t playing peekaboo with Kyle before I glanced down. The hole wasn’t directly over my crotch, but one false move and my right testie would swung into view.
“Um, I’m just gonna,” I pointed behind me with my thumb, “get dressed. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”
I heard him chuckle after I spun on my heels and hightailed it to my bedroom. “Get it together, Chaz,” I admonished myself.
I quickly dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before I returned to find Kyle sitting on my sofa. He looked up at me when I entered the room and smiled softly.
“You didn’t answer,” he said in the way of an explanation for his midnight appearance at my door.
“I had every intention of answering your call,” I
said as I sat beside him, “but the sound of the phone startled me, and I knocked it into the bathtub.”
Kyle’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Chaz. Let me buy you a new one.”
“That’s kind of you to offer, but it’s not necessary.” I repositioned myself at an angle so I could look at him. “So, were you just in the neighborhood?”
“No,” Kyle responded with a smile. “I wanted to talk to you without being interrupted, so I drove over here, parked in front of your house like a creeper, and dialed your phone number. I followed through with my threat when you didn’t answer.”
“I wouldn’t call your visit a threat,” I remarked. Well, I thought it was quite possible that Kyle was dangerous to my heart.
“It was a chance I had to take because we keep getting interrupted or…”
“I run away,” I said, finishing his statement for him when he trailed off.
“It was only once.”
“Twice,” I amended. “I hid from you at the salon after your appointment.”
Kyle’s brow furrowed into a deep V and I saw how much my words hurt him. “Why?”
I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but no words came out, only a chipmunk squeak that he seemed to find cute.
“I can tell that something heavy is weighing on your mind and you’re not comfortable talking to me about it. I hope to change that someday,” Kyle said tenderly. “Will you answer one question for me at least?”
“Yes,” I said breathlessly.
“Do you… are you…” Kyle rose from the couch with a frustrated growl. “I’m not exactly sure how to say this without sounding cheesy.”
I stood up and faced him. Maybe it was Kyle’s flustered state or perhaps it was the vulnerable look in his eyes that caused me to feel brave in his presence for the first time. “I feel it too,” I told him.
Kyle had released a long, shaky breath before he closed the distance between us. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before he looked into my eyes. “That’s all I need to know for now. Have sweet dreams, Chaz,” he said when I walked him to the door.
“You too.”
Kyle winked playfully at me and said, “I’ve seen you wet and almost naked, so I know I will,” before he turned and walked into the night.
My late-night visit to Chaz replayed in my mind for days afterward and brought a smile to my face each time. The awkward tension didn’t fade completely, but it was greatly diminished by the awareness that sparked between us. The attraction had always been there, but after that night it was more intense. Still, something held Chaz back, and it drove me crazy trying to figure out who, what, or why.
Was Chaz scarred from a bad relationship? I wasn’t a violent man, in fact, I had never hit another person, but some faceless guy who possibly broke Chaz’s heart made me want to Hulk out. Those feelings were completely new to me, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. As a kid, I was obese due to emotional eating, and it was a habit I could easily fall back on if I wasn’t careful. The ups and downs with Chaz—and not the kind I craved—were driving me nuts and wearing me down, but I couldn’t seem to walk away from him. I knew that something special could happen between us if we let it, and I was willing to wait for him to tell me whatever it was that held him back. I just hoped he didn’t take too much longer or I feared I’d mow through my weight in Oreo cookies.
The pending photo shoot added to my stress and kept me on edge. No matter how much time passed, I still often saw the chubby teenager when I looked at my reflection in the mirror. When I was fourteen years old, I weighed two-hundred-and-fifty pounds. At thirty-six years old, I weighed the same amount, but it was muscle instead of fat. I knew that my hard work had turned me into a fit man, but I was still caught off guard the morning of the calendar shoot when the photographer informed me that we’d be snapping several bare-chested photos.
“What?” I asked. “I thought I was posing with puppies and kitties from the shelter,” I told him.
“You are, but sex sells and you…” he waved his hand up and down my body, “have that in spades. You’re the kind of guy that both men and women like.”
“Katie!” I yelled. “No one said anything about partially nude photos.”
Katie scurried over to me. “It wasn’t my idea, Dr. Vaughn. I swear it.” She wrung her hands nervously and said, “Scotty does make a good point though.”
“I don’t know, Katie.” I shook my head. “This feels weird to me. I’m not that guy who struts around with his shirt off all the time so people can admire his muscles.”
“You should,” Scotty said, earning an irritated glance from me.
“I won’t ask you to do anything that doesn’t feel right to you,” Katie said. “I’m sure we’d sell just as many calendars if you keep your shirt on. Those dimples alone are worth the cost of the calendar.”
“Can I have a minute to think about it?”
“Sure, honey. Take your time. You’re the one doing me a favor.” She patted my arm affectionately and walked back over to her van that she transported her pets to the shoot location.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed the first person who came to mind. “I need your help,” I said when Chaz answered the phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I know this is last minute and you probably have something better to do…”
“Kyle, just tell me what you need.”
“It’s this damn calendar shoot. I feel fucking ridiculous. Can you meet me at Griffin State Park?” I asked.
“Give me twenty minutes,” Chaz replied. “Where in the park are you?”
“North entrance of the lake,” I told him. “I’ll hold Scotty with the grabby hands at bay until you get here.”
“Scotty Erikson?” Chaz asked.
“I don’t know his last name. He works at the shelter and is an amateur photographer,” I told Chaz.
“Well, he can be a little overbearing, but he takes amazing photos,” Chaz said.
“He wants me to start taking my clothes off.”
“I’ll be right there.”
I smiled because I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be there when I took my clothes off or if he just didn’t want Scotty to get his grabby hands on me. I was fine with whatever reason got him to the park so I could spend time with him. We’d talked on the phone several nights, but hadn’t spent any alone time together since the night I showed up on his doorstep.
Chaz showed up in twelve minutes, not twenty. He looked a bit harried, and I wondered what he’d been doing when I called him. “I’m here to save your virtue,” he declared humorously.
“You’re just in time to rub oil all over my chest,” I said jokingly.
Chaz shook his head. “You’ll have pet fur stuck all over you.”
“I’m pretty hairy as it is,” I told him.
“Yeah?” he asked curiously.
I remembered his remark about liking a guy who kept things tidy below the belt and I didn’t want to scare him off. “Some places anyway,” I replied coyly. I wanted him to be curious and want to explore my body for himself rather than bluntly tell him. From the look on his face, Chaz was mentally peeling my clothes off right there in the parking lot. Fuck, if I didn’t want to encourage him to do just that. My body started responding to the idea and I had to pull my mind out of the gutter before we gave Scotty a totally different idea for his calendar photoshoot.
“Are you really going to take your clothes off for the calendar?” Chaz asked me.
“Would you think less of me if I did?” I asked. “I don’t want people looking at me and picturing me without my clothes.”
“Too late,” Chaz said.
I loved that he thought about what I looked like naked, but I could do without the rest of the town knowing or thinking about it. “I don’t think it’s wrong or improper, but I don’t think it’s my style.”
“Then you keep your clothes on,” Chaz said emphatically.
“Dr. Va… hey, Chaz,” Scot
ty said when he saw who had arrived. “I didn’t know you were coming today.” I didn’t like the familiar way the photographer looked at my… Chaz.
“It’s been a while,” Chaz said to Scotty.
“Too long, but we can remedy that later if you’re free,” Scotty said suggestively.
“He’s not,” I said emphatically.
“I’m not,” Chaz said at the same time.
“Oh, I see.” Scotty smile wryly. “Are you ready, Dr. Vaughn?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I answered. “I decided to keep my clothes on.”
“Pity.” Scotty sighed dramatically. “Let’s get this party started then.”
“Good luck,” Chaz said, walking backward toward his car. “Call me later and let me know how this works out.”
“Wait! Where are you going?” I asked, sounding more than a little desperate.
“I had planned on going home, but I can stick around if you…”
“Yessss.” My face turned hot with embarrassment when I realized how orgasmic my reply sounded.
Katie walked up to our group with a tiny Chihuahua at the end of her leash. “Let’s start with Beatrice.”
Beatrice looked as nervous as I felt and I thought we were a good match. I squatted down and extended my hand toward her, and she came to me. “Hi there, pretty girl,” I said softly. “Are you ready to have your picture taken with me?” Beatrice licked my hand and wagged her tail, which I accepted as a yes. I scooped her up in my arms, and she licked my chin. “Say cheese, Bea.” I aimed a practice smile at Scotty.
He blinked at me for a few minutes before he responded. “Let’s head over to the lake.”
Reaching for Chaz’s hand while we walked seemed natural to me, and I took it as a good sign that he didn’t pull away. I didn’t expect to have fun while shooting the calendar, but I found myself laughing throughout the day as we moved from one spot at the lake to the next with dozens of different animals. Scotty wanted to take about two dozen pictures and narrow it down to the best twelve for the calendar. The final scene was a sunset picnic, and my fellow model was a boxer named Sadie, who I estimated to be around four years old. Scotty had set out a plaid blanket and a picnic basket. Sadie sat beside me and looked at me with some of the saddest eyes I’d seen in a long time. I scratched her chin, and she ate up the affection like she was starved for it. She groaned and lay her head across my thigh.
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