by Debra Dixon
Niki’s chest was heaving as she tried to control the tears that had arrived with her anger. Why did she always cry when she was the angriest? Jumping to her feet, she ignored the blank look of confusion on his face. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her side. “Do you want to know how many men have been in my bed since the football captain? Do you?”
“Niki, don’t—”
“Two. Does that matter?” she asked sharply. “No, it doesn’t. Not in Cutter’s Creek, where people believe what they damn well please. Not to the fine people who have the power to vote you into office.”
Zach gained his feet and took a step toward her, stopping when she backed away as if afraid. Afraid of what? Letting him get too close? Of his motives? “Hold on, Niki. I didn’t mean to—”
“You didn’t mean to,” she repeated sarcastically. “You didn’t mean to what? You didn’t mean to upset me? You didn’t mean to get me out here alone? You didn’t mean to believe the worst about me? You didn’t mean to push all the right buttons?”
“I wasn’t the only one pushing buttons,” Zach shot back, beginning to get angry himself. He pulled his hat off and flung it on the ground, grabbed her arm and pulled her against his chest, losing himself in the emerald storm of her gaze. “I wasn’t the one who lied.”
Niki struggled briefly against the steel of his grip and finally went still in his embrace, willing herself to forget the comfort and warmth she’d found in his arms once before. “I lied. I admit it. You can add that to my list of crimes against the people of Wyoming. What difference does it make?”
“I don’t know,” Zach whispered. “All I know is that you feel right in my arms, and that I want you.” He captured a handful of hair and pulled her head back so his lips could claim hers. He thrust his tongue home as he heard Niki’s soft moan. The heat of her mouth shut out the chill of the night. Zach opened her jacket, dragging it down her shoulders and filling his hand with the warmth of her breast. He savored the beating of her heart beneath his fingertips.
How could her mind deny what her body felt? Passion surged through him. To ease the urgency, the pressure to be inside her, Zach pressed his hardness against her, letting her feel his need. He wanted all of Niki, every bit that he could touch and hold and taste. Every emotion, every secret, every sigh.
Shuddering at the unexpected need spiraling through her as Zach cupped her breast, Niki leaned into his caress, unable to get close enough. She sucked gently on his tongue and caught her breath in pure pleasure as he found the aroused peak of her nipple. Through the soft cotton of her shirt, his thumb and index finger manipulated the tender tip as his mouth possessed hers.
Niki had never experienced the unbearable ache between her thighs that worsened as Zach made love to her with his mouth and tongue, tasting her, teasing her. She couldn’t stop thinking of how his skin would taste if she trailed her tongue down his neck. How his tongue would feel if he—
She jerked away from his touch, stumbled backward, and fought to stop the world from spinning round her. Niki rubbed her lower lip, trying to wipe away the lingering tingle. Her emotions were stretched taut as she struggled with the desire that threatened to melt her bones. How could one man do this to her? How could one man break through all the barriers she’d placed around her heart? How could Zach make her forget what she should always remember: You can’t go home again.
“Leave me alone, Zach.” Her voice was cold and defeated, even to her ears. “You’ve proven your point. Carve another notch on your belt—” Her voice broke for a moment. “And chalk it up to my quirky hormones.”
“Niki, it’s not like that,” he said quietly. His gaze glinted silver in the moonlight, and his intensity made her pause for a second.
“Sure,” she said as she finally pushed past him to untie Cay’s reins. “What are you going to tell me next? That you’ll respect me in the morning? Thanks, but I’ve heard that song already, and I know the chorus.”
“Dammit, Niki! I’m not going to apologize for wanting you. Talk to me. Stop running from the past. You’re not sixteen anymore,” Zach told her as she threw herself into the saddle.
“Such easy advice, but I’m afraid it doesn’t help much in the real world.” A bitter smile curved her lips. “Small towns have long memories. Every time I stop running, my past catches up with me, and if you’re not careful, Mr. Senator, my past will catch up to you too.”
She dug her heels in and rode away before Zach could catch the reins and stop her.
“Niki! Dammit! Stop running from me!”
Frustration pounded through Zach’s body. He wanted to go after her and shake some sense into her, but he couldn’t. Not until the watch was over. Leaving the cattle alone would create too many questions. Questions neither he nor Niki wanted to answer. So he cursed again, checked the time, and settled down to wait.
“You can run, Niki. But you can’t hide.”
SEVEN
The last hour of the watch crawled by, and in that time, Zach examined every detail of his conversation with Niki. Not that their exchange could actually be called a conversation. It was more like a collection of accusations. Revealing accusations.
He snatched a blade of grass out of the ground by its roots. What had she said? Small towns have long memories.
He remembered the conclusion to which she’d jumped the first night on the trail when he’d told her she belonged in his tent. He was beginning to understand why she’d lied about being a Cutter’s Creek Devlin—for the same reason he’d omitted his last name when they met. She’d wanted to leave all the baggage attached to her name in the closet She didn’t want to have to sift through every stray comment for some deeper meaning.
Her reaction was so intense, Zach could only guess what she’d had to go through when her intimate experience became public property. Curling his fists, Zach imagined finding the football captain and giving him a lesson in discretion. A man didn’t take a young woman’s virginity and then brag about it as though the experience were some shining badge of manhood. Most likely, boys who’d never dated her had suddenly claimed they, too, had sampled her charms.
When Zach heard the creak of saddle leather and the rustle of horses approaching, he whistled for the dogs and pulled his reins free. By the time Murray and John rode up, Zach was in the saddle.
“It’s a quiet night,” Zach told them. “They’re all yours.”
Zach tapped his heel against Dap’s side and rode away without bothering to wait for a reply. The entire herd could have begun a stampede, and he’d never have known it. His thoughts were focused on Niki.
At camp he unsaddled Dap quickly and would have put the dogs in John’s tent if he hadn’t thought Niki would read something devious in his action. Instead he led the dogs to his tent, unzipped the flap, and held it open. Brass and Snicker pushed past him, and, as usual, Brass went right to Niki’s sleeping bag and curled up beside her. Snicker nosed around the tent and then waited quietly by Zach’s bag.
Relief washed over Zach as the familiar sight unfolded before his eyes, and he admitted to himself how much he wanted Niki with him. Even if he had to stare at her back all night. In a few short days she’d become a part of him.
A half smile crossed his lips when he looked at the still form in front of him and realized she wasn’t asleep. He’d memorized the gentle cadence of her breathing while he lay beside her each night. Without taking his eyes off her, Zach pitched his coat and his hat into the corner, pulled off his boots, unbuckled his belt, and unsnapped his jeans, knowing she heard every muffled sound.
“Five or six,” he said as he peeled off his shirt and tossed it in the corner. When she didn’t ask what he meant, he told her anyway. “Notches on my belt. I counted, since you seemed so interested in keeping score.”
Niki’s back stiffened, but she didn’t say anything. Brass got up quietly and moved to the other side of the tent.
Shrugging, Zach said, “I wasn’t sure whether or not to count my first girlfriend. N
either of us had much experience, but after some very pleasant blundering around, we seemed to get it right.”
Niki still didn’t answer.
“Okay. I guess I’ll take that as agreement. If Mary Catherine is a definite, then that makes it six notches. Six women I’ve held in my arms and—We don’t have to count the women I’ve kissed, do we? Or the women who’ve kissed me? Or—”
“Stop it, Zach.” Niki sat up and turned toward him, one hand quickly passing over her cheek as if to wipe away a tear. “I’m not in the mood for jokes. I don’t care how many women you’ve kissed. I don’t care how many women you’ve made love to.”
“And I don’t give a damn about ancient history.” He crouched beside her, pinning her with his gaze. “Niki, despite what you believe, I didn’t have a clue about what you think is your past until you flung it in my face.”
“Well, now you know. Or imagine you do,” she said wearily as she pushed a few strands of hair from her face. “And if I hadn’t flung my past in your face, someone else would have. Eventually. Everyone always thinks they know me. But they don’t. They don’t know me.” Her voice caught and faded on the last word.
“I want to,” he whispered, reaching out to cup the back of her neck with his hand.
Niki caught her breath at the longing in Zach’s voice, and when she searched his face, she saw unrelenting determination. She felt trapped, and struggled to unzip the sleeping bag. She had to get away from him. She couldn’t think clearly with him so close.
She fumbled with the zipper and managed to get it halfway down before Zach’s hand covered hers. Niki shivered despite the warmth emanating from his body. His fingers were strong and wrapped around her palm. His thumb rubbed circles on the back of her hand, a silent plea making a connection with her emotions.
“Why is trust so important to you?” she whispered as she pulled her hand from Zach’s, her eyes drawn to the open snap of his jeans.
“If you trust me, maybe you won’t run from me.” Zach raised her chin so that her eyes met his. “I wasn’t prepared for you, but now that you’re here, I won’t let you run from me. All my life, the people I wanted to care about have run from me. Change that, Niki. Run to me.”
Suddenly Niki couldn’t breathe. The simple honesty in his answer spun a web of need around her. Run to me. Three simple words that scared her more than anything she could remember. Scared her because that’s exactly what she wanted to do.
“Come here, Niki.” Zach urged her toward him with the gentle pressure of his finger beneath her chin. “No one else exists right now. The past doesn’t exist right now. It’s just you and me.”
“You’re asking me to trust you, and I can’t.”
“Why?” he murmured against her lips, half lifting her to fit against his body.
Niki felt the shivering delight of being held by Zach shimmer along her nerves and struggled to hold on to rational thought. “I live in New York.”
“That’s geography, not a reason,” he corrected her as his lips teased the contours of hers, his tongue flicking lightly against her bottom lip.
“You like living in fishbowls. I like privacy.”
Abruptly Zach caught her face between his hands, her hair forming a silk veil against her cheek. “Let go of the past, Niki. Right now, in this moment, think with your heart. Run to me, Niki.”
She told herself to pull away, but instead she opened her mouth to his, absorbing the strength of his kiss. Zach’s hands moved to her hips and rocked her gently against the cradle of his thighs. A moan escaped her as she felt his arousal press sensuously against her abdomen.
Desire shot through Zach as Niki leaned against him. Taking his hands from her hips, he tugged his T-shirt from his jeans and pulled it over his head in a motion so smooth that he took his lips from Niki’s for only an instant. He loved the feel of her in his arms as he gathered her to him. He craved the pressure of her thighs nestled against his and the feel of her soft breasts molded to his chest.
Niki’s fingers splayed out across Zach’s muscled shoulders. She let her hands explore sinew and bone. Let her fingers slide down the center of his back and tuck themselves inside the waistband of his jeans. Every inch of flesh she touched seemed familiar, yet forbidden.
Following her lead, Zach separated her shirt from her jeans, caressed the small of her back, and smoothed a palm along her midriff, gliding across her bare skin. He broke the kiss and trailed his tongue down the column of her neck as his hand moved upward, playing with the edge of her bra, letting his fingers dip inside to stroke the tender flesh. When his fingers closed over her erect nipple, he heard Niki’s soft sigh of pleasure. Felt her breast swell in his hand.
Her sigh echoed through his body, teasing his erection, reminding him how desperately he’d wanted to hold her in his arms and hear her intimate sighs of pleasure as he touched her.
“Ah, Niki,” he murmured against her ear, enjoying the velvety texture of her hair against his jaw. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this. You feel so right.” He let the heaviness of her breast fill his hand and then toyed with the aroused bud.
When his words filtered through the haze of desire that engulfed Niki, she felt heat rising to her cheeks and rushing to her belly. He was half-naked and gorgeous. He’d barely begun to touch her, yet she knew she was already damp with want.
Pulling away, she exhaled quickly and said, “I can’t—We can’t do this.”
“Then say no,” he ordered softly, reaching for her and pulling her to her feet. “Say no, Niki. Say you don’t want me inside you.” He settled her against his body, taking his time, enjoying the feel of her against him. Finally he expertly removed her shirt and said, “Say you don’t want to feel the rhythm of your body joining mine.”
Every fiber of Niki’s being responded to Zach, and he knew it. He made no attempt to keep her next to him, but his hands roamed over her body, daring her to remain unaffected, teaching her that the most unlikely places could be sensual.
“Niki, let go of old memories and come to me. Say you want me inside you. Let me love you, Niki.”
“I can’t promise you tomorrow—”
“Then promise me tonight.”
“You make it sound so easy,” she whispered, torn between desire and her fear of repeating the past.
“It is.” He traced the hollow at the base of her throat and ran his finger down the valley of her breasts. “Just say yes.”
“Yes,” she echoed unevenly and was rewarded with a kiss so tender, she almost cried. Anticipation fluttered in her stomach as Zach’s kiss began to change, deepening and communicating his passion.
For the first time, Zach sensed that Niki had dropped the invisible barrier between them. Her mouth was velvet and welcoming; her tongue danced with his, and he savored the taste of her. He felt the silken threads of her hair beneath his hands as he caressed her back, and he let his fingers weave themselves into the softness.
Breaking the kiss, he pulled away and watched Niki open her eyes. With deliberate slowness his fingers moved to the front closure of her bra and unhooked it. With infinite patience he peeled the gossamer fabric from the treasure hidden beneath and lowered his head to cover one rose-tipped peak with his mouth.
Gasping, Niki felt the tug of suction as his tongue coaxed her nipple into his mouth. He seemed to know what she wanted before she knew herself. When his mouth finally released the sensitive bud, Niki could barely restrain herself from groaning in disappointment. As soon as the nipple met cool air, it hardened and formed a more pronounced peak. Zach flicked his tongue across the bud and nipped gently with his teeth before kneeling to press featherlike kisses along her ribcage.
When his hand moved to unsnap her jeans, Niki realized that he was going to undress her with the same deliberate slowness he’d used to strip her of her bra, and the anticipation of his touch was sweet torture. Just as anticipation had been torture two nights ago. She remembered the intoxicating seduction of his hands as they had rubbed he
r legs. How he’d stopped short of slipping inside her panties to stroke the source of her desire.
Zach couldn’t keep his lips off Niki’s body. Her skin was so soft, he couldn’t get close enough. He teased her zipper down and eased the denim over her hips. His own desire throbbed as he pressed a kiss on the hip exposed by the scrap of lace and silk that masqueraded as panties. Hooking a hand in each side of the high-cut panties, he pulled them down her long legs, enjoying every inch of the journey.
As Niki stepped out of her clothes, Zach slipped a hand between her thighs to keep her from fully closing her legs. Then he spanned her belly and waist with his hands, making a slow circle around her belly button. Spiraling lower.
“Zach.”
“Shh, love.”
His palms followed the descent of his mouth, and then his thumbs opened her petals. His tongue flicked the tip of her womanhood, and he was rewarded with a ragged moan.
For Niki, Zach’s mastery of her body was unexpected and wonderfully exciting. He looked at her, touched her, kissed her, as though he couldn’t fill himself. And Niki was beginning to know how he felt. She wanted to do the same to him.
“Hey, it’s my turn now,” she whispered softly, burying her hands in his hair, urging him upward.
Surprise flooded Zach, but was quickly replaced with the flare of passion, so hot and swift that he throbbed at the thought of her mouth on him. He stood back up, trailing his hands along her body. Niki tilted her chin and met his gaze squarely, moving closer, allowing the tips of her breasts to touch his chest. She reached for the waistband of his jeans.