“You will come and watch, though?” Nedi asked.
“I don’t know,” Gerald said, rubbing at his knee. “It’s going to be crowded. I’ll be in the way.”
“Nonsense,” she said briskly. “Even with all of us down there, there’s plenty of space.”
“Maybe this afternoon,” he said noncommittally. “I can watch from up here this morning.” He had another thought, then. “Is Mikkel participating today?”
“Who?” Erick asked.
“One of the princes we brought in with the last group. He’s…shy,” Gerald explained.
Nedi sighed. “That’s one way of putting it. He’s pretty well terrified by all this. He’s going to participate, but…separately. People will come to him, rather than the other way around. He was too apprehensive about going into a crowd. We’ll set him up on one of the ledges.”
“Is he performing today?” Gerald persisted.
Nedi consulted her lists. “No, it looks like he’s in Group 3. Why?”
Gerald shrugged. “Just, if neither of us is going to be down there, maybe he could watch from here with me. Then none of you will feel like you need to babysit me instead of participating yourselves.”
“None of us are on the roster for today,” Nedi started, but she subsided when Erick caught her eye. “If that’s what you want…” she said instead.
Gerald shrugged again. He found himself not wanting to take a hard position one way or the other. “Let’s see how the day goes,” he said. “Is any of the Council coming?”
“Not today. I doubt they’ve even gotten that far in their discussions, and even if they did want to come… I don’t want them here on the first day. If anything’s going to go spectacularly wrong, it’ll happen today, and we don’t need them here to see it.”
“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” Erick said soothingly.
“Something always goes wrong,” she retorted.
They started bickering amicably and Gerald tuned them out. He still wasn’t hungry, but he poked at his breakfast to have something to do. I wonder if I could talk Calin into letting me do some cooking… Maybe I’d want to eat if I made it.
Omar nudged him and Gerald pulled his gaze away from the pattern he was making with his fruit. “Do you really want to stay by yourself up here? Or, not by yourself, but you want the three of us to leave you alone.”
Gerald couldn’t meet his eyes. “There’s been too much happening, and I don’t know what I think about all of it. It might be nice to spend time with someone who’s not invested in what I do, someone who doesn’t have an opinion about how I should behave.”
Gerald winced a little as he said it, picturing Omar’s hurt expression even though he refused to look at Omar to see his reaction. He was torn between wanting to apologize and wanting to say something worse. I don’t want to justify myself to anyone. I don’t know what I want, and I want that to be okay! Even Omar wants me to try something that maybe I can’t do. If we’re going to still be platonic, why can’t we just stay the way we are?
“That’s fair,” Omar said, and he sounded like he meant it. “You need some space. We can give it to you.” He put his words into action immediately, standing up to leave the table; Erick and Nedi had already started making their way to the amphitheater. “But…do eat something, okay? You didn’t have much dinner last night, you can’t skip breakfast too. Not when you’re just getting over that fever.”
“Yes, Calin,” Gerald said and Omar smiled.
“I’ll come back up at lunch if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
Then Gerald was alone—other than the dragon—and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He still didn’t have much appetite, but he ate a few pieces of fruit so he wouldn’t have to lie to Omar. The dragon watched him pick at his breakfast with concern.
“Aren’t you feeling better yet?” it asked.
“Physically, yes,” Gerald said.
“Ah,” the dragon said, “I see.”
It didn’t press any further and the echoing sound of a gong drew Gerald’s attention toward the amphitheater floor. He pushed his chair away from the table and wheeled over to the edge so he could see. The scene below impressed him in spite of himself; it was so much more than he had imagined when he first thought of the showcase idea all those weeks ago in that frozen cave.
There were more than a hundred royals down there, dressed in all manner of clothing, with the majority of them wearing crowns and circlets and tiaras that shone and reflected the light. Half the amphitheater was divided up into fighting rings, jousting lanes, and archery fields, while the other half was organized into stages and stalls. Everything was new, but the wooden structures weren’t raw; every inch was polished and stained and vibrant. Banners and signs hung over everything, depicting royal insignia and crests, and they brought the stone walls into brilliant life with every color of the rainbow draped over nearly every surface.
The upper levels of the amphitheater were filled as well, with dozens of dragons and even more piedlings settling in on seats and ledges to take in a morning’s entertainment.
And there was Nedi in the center of it all, her voice easily carrying throughout the vast space—the result, no doubt, of a small spell of Erick’s—as she introduced the day’s performers and triumphantly opened the “first—and hopefully the first annual—Royal Showcase!”
The scene devolved briefly into chaos as the day’s performers hastened to their places and the day’s audience milled around and tried to decide where to look first.
Gerald, despite having a bird’s-eye—or dragon’s-eye—view, was likewise unsure of where to turn his focus.
“There are so many of them,” he said quietly to the dragon. “I knew that; I made the lists, but it’s one thing to look at a piece of paper and say we’ve got to get a hundred and twenty-five people here, and it’s another thing entirely to see all of them actually here in the same place.”
“It’s not so many,” the dragon said reassuringly. “Look how little room they take up!”
“Compared to you, maybe! They look like they’re taking up a lot of space to me. It’s probably a good thing I stayed up here. I wouldn’t fit down there.”
He meant it literally—his chair was awkward and it would be hard to steer it through a crowd—but he also meant simply that he would be entirely out of his element down there on the floor, with so many people actively seeking out something he couldn’t muster an interest in, no matter how much he tried.
The dragon, sensing the way his mood was going, gave him a gentle nudge. “I’m happy to have company to watch with,” it said. “If you wouldn’t fit down there, I certainly wouldn’t, and this is the most exciting thing to happen in the dragonlands in decades. It’s giving me some ideas, too. I wonder if we could adapt this for us? Not for a purpose like marriage, of course, but just for fun. It might give the youngsters something to do besides getting into mischief.”
Gerald couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I guarantee that outside the borders, the Council is grumbling about this as an example of youngsters getting into mischief.”
“They seemed quite reasonable at the parlay,” the dragon said mildly.
“For the most part,” Gerald agreed. “But that was a tiny sample. They might not have to bring the full Council around, but this is a big enough change the Ten won’t be enough; they’ll have to convince the Hundred. And getting a hundred people from across the Kingdoms to agree on anything is easier said than done.”
The dragon looked at the showcase again. “I don’t know about that. It looks like you’ve done it quite nicely.”
Gerald colored and was saved from having to answer by the appearance of Mikkel, who climbed up into view somewhat hesitantly. He stopped a few feet away and looked at Gerald questioningly from under his hood.
He must not be sure if I really invited him or if Nedi was just meddling. “Hey,” Gerald said. “Welcome. There are chairs at the ta
ble there if you want to bring one over.”
Mikkel shook his head and sank to the ground at the dragon’s feet, where he silently made himself comfortable.
“Well,” Gerald said after a moment, “I’m glad you came to watch with us.”
That got a look of polite disbelief.
“No, really. It’s nice to have uncomplicated company. I don’t care if you don’t talk. I haven’t felt much like talking this morning either.”
Mikkel nodded and leaned back against the dragon and they all settled in to watch the showcase in companionable silence.
It didn’t take Gerald long to realize their ledge was great for taking in the overall atmosphere of the showcase, but poor for watching anything individual. The dragon, with its superior eyesight, had no difficulty and provided periodic commentary on events throughout the amphitheater, but all Gerald could really see with clarity were the weapons events, partly because they were closest and partly because the spectators were kept at some distance from the participants, unlike in the other areas where they crowded right up to stages and booths.
He recognized Lila when she stepped into one of the sword fighting rings, even in armor. He recognized the armor; he’d seen it enough times. It was well-tended, lovingly cared for, but it was not immaculate. Her armor was clean, polished, and free of even the smallest speck of rust, but it had small dents and scratches she wouldn’t deign to buff out. She was proud of them; they proved the armor was not just for show.
He swallowed. She was wearing her full armor, not simply quilted padding. That meant…yes, he could see her scabbard when she turned. She was using her real sword, live steel, instead of a wooden practice blade.
It’s a competition, yes, but it’s a friendly one!
He didn’t realize he had made any audible noise, but he must have because the dragon swung its head around and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Gerald gestured toward the ring. “I didn’t realize they were using live weapons. It’s Lila,” he added.
The dragon cocked its head. “You’re worried for her?” it asked curiously.
Gerald let out a strangled laugh. “Oh, no, no no,” he said. “I’m worried for her opponent.”
He remembered his fever dream of Lila stabbing him in the leg. The nightmare hadn’t been too far removed from some of his real unpleasant memories of facing Lila in the training ring, although the two young royals had never been permitted to use edged weapons with each other. I got quite enough cuts and lumps with the wooden ones.
Mikkel raised an eyebrow again and Gerald realized he probably had no idea who Lila was.
“My…twinling,” he said, allowing his desire for brevity to overcome his dislike of the term. “We don’t get along.”
Her opponent was similarly armored and armed, all identifying features hidden. They looked about the same height and build as Lila; perhaps it wouldn’t be too lopsided of a fight.
They know what they’re doing. They chose weaponry as their showcase skill. It’s not going to be like when Lila fought me. Still… “I don’t want to watch this,” Gerald said abruptly, wrestling with his wheels as he fought to turn the chair around.
Mikkel stood up to help him, but Gerald waved him away. “Don’t let me spoil the spectacle for you. I’ll come back when her turn is over.”
He got his chair straightened out and wheeled himself deeper into the cave. The noise of the showcase followed him, but at least the shouts and cheers and chatter were divorced from the visual. He could pretend they meant whatever he wanted them to. He didn’t have to see what was really prompting the reactions.
He pushed himself over to the table, folded his arms on top of the wood, and rested his head on them.
This is what I wanted. Why is it making me want to be anywhere but here?
He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there like that before a hesitant hand on his shoulder made him jump. Mikkel took a hasty step back, holding his hands up in front of him.
“Sorry, you startled me,” Gerald said, trying to will his heart to stop racing. “You walk so damn quietly. Is it over, then?”
Mikkel nodded. Gerald briefly toyed with the idea of asking who won, but Mikkel wouldn’t answer and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.
He wasn’t sure he really wanted to go watch any more of it, either.
It’s not all about me, he scolded himself. It’s rude to ignore Mikkel. Especially because he gets enough of that already.
Gerald pasted a smile on his face and followed Mikkel back over to the dragon. He pinched his fingers with one of the wheels and he bit back a frustrated curse as he shook his hand out. He glared futilely at the chair and at his leg. He was tempted to get up and limp the last few yards and join Mikkel on the floor, leaning against the dragon, but he had the feeling Calin would materialize just in time to catch him at it and give him a scolding he was in no mood to hear.
With Mikkel once again settled at its feet, the dragon turned its head to see what was taking Gerald so long. It saw him sitting several yards away, glaring at his chair in frustration and without a word, it reached out and snagged his chair with a foreclaw, towing it the last few feet as Gerald hastily let go of the wheels and grabbed at the armrests to keep from tumbling right out of it.
“When do you think you’ll get your canes back?” it asked once Gerald was parked next to them.
“I don’t know,” he said flatly.
The dragon tilted its head. “Do you want them back?”
“I don’t know,” he said again. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter?” the dragon repeated. “You were in such a hurry to start walking again before…”
“So what?” Gerald snapped. “It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s not like I get to make my own decisions about anything anyway.”
Mikkel flinched at the anger in Gerald’s voice and he immediately regretted his tone. “Sorry,” he said, fighting to found calmer. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m not very good company today. I’m sorry.”
Mikkel stood up and indicated he was going to go, which only made Gerald feel worse. “It’s not you,” he said hastily. “I’ve been in a rotten mood all morning, long before you came over.”
Mikkel shrugged, and Gerald wasn’t sure if he meant he didn’t think that was true or if he didn’t think it mattered. “I’m sorry,” Gerald said again, but Mikkel had already pulled his hood back up and turned away.
He descended into the amphitheater and Gerald could only watch him go, unable to navigate the stairs even if he had wanted to go after him.
He looked up to see the dragon watching him reproachfully.
“I said I was sorry,” Gerald muttered, but it was half-hearted. Am I really sorry? There’s no reason for me to stay out here now. I can go back to bed and back to feeling sorry for myself.
As if reading his mind, the dragon said, “But what is it you’re sorry about?”
Gerald rubbed his face. “So many things. Most of them the wrong ones, I’m sure.” He bit his tongue to keep from saying something else he shouldn’t.
“How can I help?”
“You can’t,” Gerald said. “Not unless you can make me normal, or make my parents let me abdicate. And honestly I’m not sure which of those is more impossible.”
“There’s nothing abnormal about you,” the dragon said sternly. “And I can be quite persuasive,” it added, showing its teeth.
That got a smile from Gerald, albeit a wan one. “I feel like everything is out of my control. My whole life is being managed by other people. And I just can’t handle it any longer.”
“You can always stay here,” the dragon said. “Your parents can’t force you to do anything if they can’t reach you. And if our borders can keep the entire Council out, I daresay they can keep your parents out as well.”
“That’s a thought,” Gerald said, brightening slightly. “But hiding from my problems has never worked that well for me in the past.”
The dragon shrugged. “Just something to keep in mind.”
It turned its attention back to the showcase and they lapsed into silence once more.
Chapter Twenty-Six
LOST IN THOUGHT, Gerald hadn’t noticed when Nedi struck the gong to announce an hour-long break for lunch before the morning and afternoon performers rotated and, as a result, was caught by surprise when Omar climbed up into view.
“Hey!” Omar said warmly. “This is pretty cool, isn’t it? Even Nedi’s stopped worrying something’s going to go wrong. You should see her, she’s walking around beaming, like everything is right with the world.”
“Yeah,” Gerald said. “It’s…impressive.”
Omar sat next to the dragon and craned his head to look up at Gerald in his chair. “You don’t sound very impressed.”
Gerald rubbed his knee and didn’t answer.
“Gerald is having a difficult morning,” the dragon said diplomatically.
“Is it your leg? Should I get Calin?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I’m just… I don’t know, I’m just in a bad mood.” Omar opened his mouth to say something and Gerald cut him off. “I’m not good company today. You sound like you’re enjoying yourself. I don’t want to ruin that. You should probably go back to the others.”
Omar frowned. “If you don’t want me here, you can say that. You don’t need to act like you want me to leave for my own sake. Why are you in a bad mood?”
Gerald shrugged. There were too many reasons to put into words, and worse, they all sounded like stupid, hollow justifications even to his own ears.
Omar’s frown deepened. “Is this about last night?”
“No!…well, maybe. Yes.” He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling instead of Omar. “I have to make my parents understand this is not a phase, this is who I am. If they can’t understand that, if they insist I have to get married to stay a prince, I’ll abdicate. Even if they won’t make it official, I’ll say the words and I’ll stay here in the dragonlands and they can say whatever they want about it. They may make it official after all, just to avoid the scandal. Or maybe I can get the Council to rule I should be stripped of my title for doing all this,” he added, waving a hand at the amphitheater floor. “Inciting rebellion and all that. Then I could go wherever I wanted.”
Royal Rescue Page 31