Aidan tossed the hay bale he was holding into the wheelbarrow and hung the hay hooks on the wall. He grabbed the handles so hard he almost tipped the wheelbarrow over. He had to get a grip. Dreams were called dreams for a reason. They weren’t real, and there was no point in thinking about them once the night was over.
Aidan took the hay over to the pasture where the sheep were grazing and divided it into portions that he tossed over the fence. There wasn’t much grass left with so many sheep on this one small piece of land. Aidan climbed through the fence to say hi to Thor and Odin. The dogs had finally settled down after the fire and seemed content to lie in the sun with the sheep they guarded.
Saying goodbye to the dogs, Aidan retrieved Chip from the stall where he had to wait when Thor and Odin were near the barn and the pasture.
Keeping Chip close, Aidan headed up the hill to where his house used to be, to check in with Maya, Annie and Lillian. The women had driven up from Shelter Creek early this morning with their cars packed with donations. As Aidan approached the trailer, Maya’s old three-legged dog, Einstein, heaved himself up and shambled over to greet them. He and Chip got along well and after a moment of tail wagging, the two dogs flopped down in the sun for a companionable nap. Chip’s paws were healing well, but he still required a lot of rest.
The women had brought donated bed linens, towels and other supplies with them. “Let me get that,” Aidan said to Lillian, who was wrestling a box of pots and pans out of the trunk of her car.
“Only because you’re at least twice my size. Not because I’m old.” She shook a finger at him, but it was accompanied by her sweet smile.
They both looked up at the sound of wheels on the gravel of Aidan’s driveway. He recognized the truck immediately. “Nellie!” He set the box back in Lillian’s trunk and jogged to meet his neighbor, opening the door for her when she shut off the engine.
Nellie jumped down, spry as ever, and gave him a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Aidan.” She looked rested and surprisingly happy, considering she’d just lost everything in a fire.
“How have you been? I haven’t been able to call since our cell tower is still out, but I’ve been hoping you were okay.”
“I’ve been fine. I’m staying with my sister in Healdsburg. She owns a yarn shop there and she caught a cold, so I ran the shop for her the last several days. I’d called the sheriff’s office after the fire, though, so I knew that everything had burned.” A troubled look clouded Nellie’s usually cheerful expression. “Truth was, maybe I just wasn’t ready to come look at it. It took me a few extra days to gather my courage.”
“That’s understandable,” Aidan said. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”
“Thanks to you, Aidan. You got me out of here just in time. I was so worried about you that night. But then I saw the news reports about how you made it through the fire.”
“Oh yeah. My five seconds of fame.” The news outlets had gotten wind of his story and sent reporters up to interview him. Since he was pretty much cut off from the world here without cell reception, he hadn’t seen any of the coverage.
Tears welled in Nellie’s eyes. “I’m so sorry if you got stuck here because of me and my sheep.”
“I was stuck out here because I’m stubborn.” He pulled his friend in for another hug. “Don’t be upset, Nellie. We’re both still here. That’s what matters.”
He was still here, thanks to Jade. Just the thought of her, her name, her courage, created a new kind of lonely in Aidan’s heart. All this time he’d longed for Colby who was out of his reach. It was different to miss someone who was just a couple hour’s drive away. In theory he could go to her and see how she was doing. But they weren’t friends. Just people connected because of circumstance.
Aidan brought his attention back to Nellie. “I’m sorry about your property. I drove up there the day after the fire to see if I could salvage anything.”
Nellie nodded. “I just came from there. Not much left to salvage is there?”
It was an understatement. The fire had taken everything. Nellie’s house, barns and outbuildings had all been historic, weathered wood. Now they were ash. “It’s a real loss.”
Nellie shrugged. “What you went through a couple years ago with your family is a real loss, Aidan. A few buildings don’t matter much in comparison.”
As always, she’d said exactly what was in her heart and, while some people might think her blunt, he’d always appreciated her candor. “Where are your mules and llamas?”
“At my cousin’s property out on the coast near Bodega Bay. They seem pretty happy there. He’s offered to keep them as long as I want.”
“Good to hear it. Would you like to visit your sheep while you’re here?”
Nellie’s face brightened. “I’d love to. And you need to let me know what I owe you for their room and board.”
“Nothing, Nellie. It’s been an honor to keep them for you. They’ve settled in really well.”
“Nonsense. You have to let me pay you.”
Aidan shook his head. “I’m the one who owes you. Remember how you fed me and kept me going after I lost Colby? I don’t think I’d be here without you. Let me take care of your sheep, for as long as you need me to.”
He led her to the trailer, where Lillian, Maya and Annie had gathered out front, giving them space for their reunion. “Ladies, this is my neighbor and good friend Nellie. Nellie, this is Maya Burton and her grandmother Lillian, and Annie Brooks.”
“Nice to meet you,” Nellie said. “But Annie and I don’t need any introduction. Our sheep have been competing with each other at the county fair for decades.”
Annie stepped forward and took Nellie’s hands in her own. “I didn’t realize you were the neighbor Aidan told me about. I should have realized it when I saw the good-looking sheep he’s been babysitting. I’m so sorry about your property.”
“Thanks, Annie. It’s a big loss. But we’re blessed to be alive, aren’t we? Would you all want to walk with us? Aidan is taking me to visit my sheep.”
“I think Maya and I will stay here and keep working on Aidan’s trailer.” Lillian smiled at Annie. “But you should go. We all know you’d rather be with sheep than with us.”
Annie grinned and shrugged. “You know me too well.” She took Nellie’s arm and linked it with hers. “Shall we?”
Aidan listened to the two women talk about the fire as they picked their way through the blackened grass to the pasture. He still had all the sheep in the one irrigated field, though it was grazed all the way down now and he was supplementing their diet with hay. He’d need to move them out of here soon, before the remaining grass was trampled into dust. He’d been fixing fences and using sprinklers to get another field ready, though the poor sheep would be living amongst ashes for a long time to come.
They all stopped at the fence and watched the sheep. Most were gathered around the piles of alfalfa hay Aidan had left for them, but several were lying down in a group with Thor and Odin, enjoying the morning sunshine and chewing their cud.
“They look downright peaceful,” Nellie said, turning to Aidan in amazement. “They’ve come through this fire just fine.”
Aidan smiled down at his old friend. He loved her wide-eyed wonder at the world. “They don’t have to worry about insurance companies and rebuilding, like we do.”
Nellie’s smile faded and she looked uncertain all of a sudden. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t think I’m going to rebuild.”
Aidan felt her words in his stomach. It had never occurred to him that she wouldn’t come back here. That they wouldn’t eventually resume their Sunday night dinners, and their habit of checking on each other a few times a week. “Why not?”
“I’m getting older, much as I hate to admit it. When I think about what I want to do with the years I have left, rebuilding a ranch on m
y own just doesn’t seem that inviting.”
“What are you thinking of doing?” Aidan could hear the shock in Annie’s voice. She would probably run her ranch forever. In the time they’d spent together since the fire, Aidan had learned a lot from the veteran rancher. In every conversation it was clear that she still loved her work.
“My sister asked me to move in with her and teach knitting classes at the shop. It will be nice to spend more time with her and have some free time, for the first time in my life.”
Aidan tried to take in what Nellie was saying. It made sense, but selfishly he didn’t want her to leave. “What about your sheep? And your land?”
“I’ll put them up for sale. I need to make sure the sheep go to a good home. Are either of you interested in buying them?”
Aidan hesitated. Nellie’s sheep were prized for their wool, but that would take his business in a different direction. Did he have room on his plate, what with all the building and repairs he’d need to do in the next couple years?
“If Aidan doesn’t want them, I’d certainly consider taking them,” Annie said. “I still enjoy raising sheep, the shearing, the whole bit. And your sheep give top-quality wool, Nellie. I know it well, from all the years I came in second to you at the fair.”
Nellie’s smile was full of relief. “I’d be so happy if you wanted to buy them, Annie. I know they’d have a great home with you. And don’t you go feeling sorry for yourself about the fair. There were plenty of years that I came in second to you.”
Annie grinned. “And now it won’t be any fun to go, because without you there, I’ll be bound to win.”
“I’ll come cheer you on, anyway.”
Aidan watched the sheep eat and listened to the two women reminisce. Nellie was always so active and youthful, he often forgot she was in her seventies. Of course she’d want to slow down and live in town and have some fun. The dull ache in his chest that had been there since the fire seemed to get a little bigger, a little heavier. He was going to miss her a lot.
As they walked back to the trailer, Aidan managed to pretend he was enthusiastic about Nellie’s decision. She made him promise to visit her in Healdsburg at least once a month and she offered him first dibs on her land if he wanted to expand his ranch. He listened to it all with a smile that hid his desolation at her decision. Without her here, he’d be truly alone up on this ridge. Is that what he wanted?
It was definitely what he’d wanted after Colby’s death. Just him, the land and his grief. But now that idea seemed lonelier and kind of depressing. Maybe it was just the bleak, monochromatic landscape. He was living in a black-and-white photo now. Once the rains came and the grass and bushes started to grow back, he’d probably feel better.
When Nellie left, Annie and Lillian went back into the trailer to continue organizing Aidan’s temporary home. Maya stayed with Aidan, watching Nellie’s truck disappear down the driveway. “I have good news,” she told him. “That bobcat you caught is going to be okay. We’ve moved it down to the Shelter Creek Wildlife Center. It can live there until it’s well enough to be released up here on your ranch again.”
“That’s great news,” Aidan said, but his voice came out stiff and toneless. Nellie was gone. He hadn’t realized how much he’d come to rely on her friendship.
“Are you okay?” Maya put a hand on Aidan’s arm. “It must be sad to learn that your friend is moving away.”
“I’m fine.” Aidan straightened his shoulders. Of course he was fine. He and Nellie hadn’t even spent that much time together, really. He’d be okay without their Sunday dinners.
“Maybe it’s none of my business,” Maya said. “But I have to say something that’s been on my mind.” She looked around at the ranch. “It’s beautiful here. And you turned this place into such an exemplary, sustainable ranch that has educated so many people about how to live in harmony with wildlife. But this fire offers a chance for a change. Have you ever thought about moving closer to a town? I know a couple of really nice properties for sale near Shelter Creek.”
A memory flashed in front of Aidan’s eyes, of Colby toddling across the grass near the barn, laughing as the sun glinted in his blond hair. All his memories of his son were here. “No.” He said it too abruptly and quickly tried to soften his tone. “I love this place. I don’t see myself leaving.”
Maya was silent for a moment. He liked that about her. The way she really seemed to listen and think before she answered. “I understand what it’s like to want to hide out from the world,” she said softly. “I did it for many years. I don’t know what happened to you, Aidan, but I’ve always noticed that you seem a little sad. Just remember that you don’t have to go through life alone, no matter what burden you carry. That’s what I learned when I moved back home to Shelter Creek.”
Aidan usually tried not to pry. Tried to stay out of other people’s business. But something in her words and tone made him suspect that she’d been through something big. That she understood what it meant to carry pain on your shoulders every single moment of every day. “Why were you hiding?”
“A car accident,” she said quietly. “I was driving. Caleb’s sister was in the back seat without a seat belt and she was killed. My friend Trisha was in the front with me and she injured her leg badly. She still limps to this day.”
“I had no idea.” Aidan tried to put her story together with his image of her. She’d always seemed so confident and strong. Someone who took on the world and changed it for the better.
A rueful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “It’s not something I advertise. It’s the hardest thing in my life. I live with a lot of regret and guilt. But I’ve learned that I still deserve a full life, with friends and family and love.”
If she’d hit him over the head with one of the pots she and Lillian had delivered, his ears wouldn’t be ringing any harder than they were now. “I feel like you’ve looked inside me. Are you sure you don’t have X-ray vision in addition to your biology skills?” His voice came out shaky with emotion.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Did he? He’d kept the story inside for over two years. Until the fire. And Jade. But if anyone could share this burden with him, it was Maya, who carried so much grief of her own. He pried open his heart and told her what he’d only shared with Nellie and Jade. About Colby, about Sheila, the blame and the guilt. “I guess, like you said, I’ve been hiding out ever since.”
Maya took his hand in both of hers. “It’s okay to hide out. Some wounds need a lot of time before they’re not totally raw anymore. But don’t hide forever, okay? Come see us in Shelter Creek. As soon as that cell tower gets fixed, I’m calling and inviting you. And you’d better say yes.” She brightened and let go of his hand. “We can invite Jade and all have a meal or something. I’d like to get to know her—” She stopped suddenly and regarded him with a shrewd expression. “You just got the loneliest look on your face. You miss her, don’t you?”
This woman was way too observant. Must be all the time she spent watching animals. “I barely know her. But I felt something.” He shrugged. “It’s probably just that we survived this fire together, and then she was gone.”
“Go see her,” Maya said. “Go down to Shelter Creek and pay her a visit.”
“She’d probably think it was strange. She was just doing her job.” Except that kiss, falling asleep with her in his arms, it hadn’t felt like she was just a firefighter then. She’d felt like an angel and a dream and so much more.
“Of course she’ll want to see you. Like you said, you survived together. That’s a bond that doesn’t go away.” Maya clasped her hands together. “Visit her this weekend. Grandma Lillian and I can stay up here Saturday night and keep an eye on your sheep if you want.”
Her enthusiasm was kind of funny. “Are you the local matchmaker?”
Maya laughed. “Usually my grandma and her friends
take care of the matchmaking. But maybe they’ve rubbed off on me a little.” Her smile faded. “Honestly, I just know how healing Caleb has been for me. If there’s a chance there’s something between you and Jade, you owe it to yourself to go find out.”
She was offering him a chance to do exactly what he’d wanted to do in the week since the fire. She was giving him the courage to try. But still, what would someone as special as Jade want from him? He was a broken man carrying way too much trouble in his heart.
“Just try, Aidan. If it doesn’t work, at least you’ll know, and you can let it go.”
He blew out a long, stress-filled breath. “Saturday? As in day after tomorrow?”
“That’s the one. We’ll take care of Chip and the sheep and everything. We can try out this fancy trailer of Annie’s. You can crash at my house. Caleb will be happy to have you stay the night.”
“Are you sure?” She was like Chip when he was herding the sheep. Totally single-minded and nipping at his heels.
“Someone he can talk to about wildlife management and sustainable ranching methods?” Maya rolled her eyes. “He’ll be in heaven.”
He and Caleb did have that in common. Maya wasn’t allowing him any more reasons to say no. And a plan was forming, in a small, hopeful corner of his mind. “And you’ll find out if she’s working Saturday night?”
“Sure. But if I can’t call you, I’ll have to tell you when we get here on Saturday.”
“That will be fine.”
She beamed a satisfied smile at him. “Shall we go in and finish setting up your new digs?”
“Yes. And thank you, Maya. For everything.”
“Hey, I’ve made it partway up the hill. I’m happy to help someone hanging out near the bottom.”
He had been at the bottom. Wallowing in grief and helpless to move forward. But he wasn’t there now. Jade had pulled him partway up the hill, he realized. She’d changed him. And now with Maya extending a hand, he just might make it a little further up.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Rescuing the Rancher Page 17