by Vina Fenty
I got to have my own office, my personal space and an assistant to go with it, wow!
I was so excited that I could feel my head touching the sky. At lunch that afternoon, I finally tried to make Stacy understand my relationship with Tejiri. I didn't want to leave her in a loop, and at the same time, I couldn't tell her everything.
"See Stace..." I started as she dropped her napkin in her lap to listen to me. Then I continued, "Tejiri is someone I used to know from way back, and we fell out. It's just so nice to see her again after such a long time."
I wanted to tell Stacy everything, but there was still the legality of homosexuality in Nigeria. Also, I didn't know if Stacy was religious.
I wasn't sure at all of Stacy's stand on homosexuality, and I didn't want to risk anything.
Homosexuality! I never really saw myself as a lesbian. It had always been about Tejiri, no one else. I had never felt attracted to any man or woman alive, not even the numerous beautiful faces crawling all over the screen whenever I turned it on. I was just a Tejiri sexual and romantic orientation.
"Amy, I don't know how to place it, but the tension between the two of you is so... I mean, what did you do to her in the past?"
"I broke a promise. I promise you will know everything one day."
She seemed content a little by my short explanation, but I saw the resignation in her eyes.
Stacy smiled warmly at me as we finished up and went upstairs to start the move to our new offices. We were very excited as we held hands and jumped around like a couple of young school girls.
"And you got the office with the best view. If the boss was a man, I would say you were doing him," Stacy said, winking, and even though it was good-natured, it rang too close to home.
Did Tejiri have a hand in all these? She had indeed insinuated that she had come home and bought this company because of me. God! Tejiri had bought this whole place because of me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I fell into my chair, losing all the excitement of before. It was precisely the sort of thing Tejiri would do. She always had this urge to take care of me even after I had done her wrong. It always seemed like she had been configured to take care of me, and it was her default settings. I was happy about the prospect, but at the same time, I didn't want anything I didn't deserve.
"Stace, I would be right back, I have to see the boss," I said as I walked out of my office and ran upstairs to Tejiri.
"She is in a meeting, Mrs. Ekene, I would leave a message for you if you want," Miss Avery said as I got into Tejiri’s office
"Thank you so much, Miss Avery. Just let her know I stopped by."
I was already at the door when I heard Miss Avery say, "you know, you can call me Avery. Please call me, Avery."
She batted her long eyelashes like a doll, and it caused me to laugh.
"Okay. Then you would have to call me Amara. Thanks for everything and I'm sorry about yesterday," I said, gauging her reaction.
She blushed furiously before nodding.
I went back to my office and settled down in record time while diving into work almost immediately. Stacy had gone back to her own office, and I was glad for it.
After a few hours, I raised my head to the table clock only to realize that it was past closing time. Why did time grow wings and then just fly? I rubbed my eyes and made to shut down my computer. I was packing my bags when I heard a knock on my door, it was strange, and I smiled knowing that now, I had a door that people could knock-on, but the smile wiped off my face once I started thinking of whom it could be, maybe Stacy.
"Come on in," I called as I turned to draw the window blinds and turn off the cooling system.
Immediately the doors opened, my nose was assaulted with the smell of Tejiri. I quickly spun around to face her. She stepped in and closed the door softly as she invaded my space, filled it, and dominated it. It all made me wet to realize that she was in my much smaller office, and we could bump into each other if I tried to make it happen.
My eyes ran up and down her body as I swallowed noisily before realizing that her hair was a mess.
"Did you fly down to your office in a parachute? Why is your hair all over the place?" I asked, chuckling as she sat down on the other chair and sighed.
"My hair is the least of my worries right now. I was told you came to see me, anything the matter?"
I wanted to talk, but I couldn't say anything because my fingers were itching to make her hair right, so I did. I moved swiftly over to her and just put my hands into her hair. She sighed deeply and didn't stop me, so I ran my fingers into her soft, full hair and tried to set it in place. It immediately set me back to the past, to the times I had the luxury of playing with Tejiri's hair.
******
2005, FGC ASABA
"Why not just make it the normal cornrows I always wear Amy, what is this complicated nonsense you are doing? See how tiny they are, would you loosen it for me?"
"I never imagined you for a nag Wolf. I mean, it's just hair!" I said as I pushed her head in between my laps to plait the braids that were supposed to come forward, falling down her face.
At this time, Tejiri was in her last term of junior secondary school, and our unusual friendship was growing stronger and stronger. I often wondered what would become of me once she finished her junior exams and left me for the long holidays. Next year it would be me going for the holidays, and my heart was already weeping.
I bit my lower lip as I shook the sad thoughts out of my head. I concentrated instead on making the vision that had come to me in my sleep on Tejiri's head. Her hair was simply something out of this world. To think she had never used chemicals to make it this soft and curly.
"My mother is Fulani, and you should see her hair, this one is still just growing where hers stands. Plus, she has these herbal concoctions that she always uses on my hair. They smell like crap, so I don't bother using them in school, but once I get home, it's a whole different story," she had said in explanation to me once when I had asked about her hair.
I felt Tejiri's hot breath on my inner thighs as her head stayed lodged there, and it drove my little heart crazy. My fingers started to shake, and I had to loosen and plait again so many times because I kept making mistakes. I didn't understand the feelings and emotions that came to me whenever I was with Wolf. I had no idea. I just knew that I felt a variant of things when it came to her, and I had long stopped to think about them.
I was still shaking and fidgeting with the hair when I felt her nose rubbing my thigh, and then she sighed deeply. I swear I almost went crazy. I wanted something, but I didn't even know what it was. It was bad enough that I had finished making the rest of the hair in a matter of minutes, but this little one supposed to fall to the front was taking me an eternity. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me as our eyes met and locked before she smiled that beautiful smile that never seemed to leave my dreams. She rested her head back on my laps, stopping all the funny movements so I could continue with the hair.
I did eventually finish making the hair against all the odds, and Tejiri had loved it. So had every other person in school, most notably the boys. She looked a little bit different, more feminine. The hair did suit her better than her signature cornrows. A lot of seniors and classmates had begged me to make their hair, but it never held any appeal to me, and I always looked for excuses to avoid it.
It was around that time that I noticed a change in my woman parts. I felt wet a lot, and I didn't understand the stains I always saw on my panties.
It happened that Tejiri caught me smelling my panties and examining the content of my gusset one early morning while we were taking our baths. It was usual at this time for me to follow Tejiri on her tryst most mornings, so I had to bath and be ready along with her. It irked most of the seniors, especially my school mother, that I spent so much time with Tejiri.
"What are you doing?" Tejiri asked, confused as she caught me with my panties.
"I just started seeing this st
uff on my panties, and I think something is wrong with me."
"Come on, it's normal, every woman gets them, and as long as it doesn't itch or smell, you are fine. Okay?"
I nodded and still asked, "Do you get it too?"
"God! Amy, I said every woman, I am a woman. Plus, it means you'll soon join the period club, yay!"
"It's so irritating, though. Yikes, why ever is this necessary, and how do you know everything?"
"Maybe because I read a lot and it's not irritating, it does have its uses. So are you going to wash my hair or not?"
At the mention of her hair, I quickly washed my underwear and rushed to bury my fingers into her hair. She sighed once my hands slipped into her locks as I shampooed her hair. I was going to be making it again the next day.
******
Present Day
I finished arranging her hair, and I tried to take my hands out, but she caught my hands in hers and pulled me around by my hands till I was standing in front of her.
She opened her legs and subtly pulled me forward, and I got the hint as I stepped in between her legs. She then turned my hands over and started to kiss my palm, first one then the other. I drew in a deep breath as my legs nearly buckled under my weight. She trailed the kisses up to the point where the angry scars of my self-loathing were, and she kissed every single cut.
"I read up on this, and I realized the amount of depression it would have taken to hurt yourself like this. Somehow I blame myself, I should have..." she sniffed as I felt first one tear and then another land on my outstretched hands.
"Hey! Stop it, don't say that, it's not your fault," I said and quickly shook my hands out of her grasp and held her head to face mine.
"I am so sorry!" she said, weeping, and I couldn't bear to watch her like that. My tears fell as usual, and I hugged her for dear life. I loved Tejiri more than life itself, and I poured all of my emotions into the hug. She felt warm and soft and like paradise.
We stayed that way for a while as our tears subsided before she pulled out of the hug to look at me and say, "Amy, have dinner with me tomorrow please, don't cook anything, please!"
I nodded with a smile as our eyes locked once more. I hurriedly dropped a chaste kiss on her soft lips before hugging her again. Even though I wanted to kiss her till she turned purple, I didn't want to guilt-trip her again.
"Speaking of which, why did you come looking for me?" she asked, looking up at me with beautiful eyes that took my breath away.
It took a lot of will power not to grab her and kiss her till we both couldn't breathe.
"I just wanted to know if I got the promotion on merit or because..."
"Don't even complete that. You are the best staff anyone could have, and I am so mad that they hadn't promoted you all these while. I went through your work profile, and it's amazing. You've done the most work of anyone here, and it's thanks to your clients that the company could even stay afloat this long. You deserve this promotion, you know that."
I nodded my understanding while suddenly feeling foolish because Tejiri wasn't the type to compromise if I thought hard about it.
******
I drove home happily that evening. I looked like someone who had just won a lottery. Tejiri was slowly cracking like I knew she would, our feelings for each other were something out of a fairy tale, and I trusted it to stand for me anytime. Today, I wanted to remember, I needed to remember everything. Once I got home, I took a shower, jumped into bed, and pulled the blanket over my head as I thought back to the first time Wolf and I kissed.
*****
FGC, ASABA, 2006
I had resumed from the JSS 3 holidays, which was more of a torture than fun for me because I hadn't seen Wolf in ages.
Wolf had a small phone which she sneaked into the school, and I would steal my mother's mobile to call her. I would hide in my room and turn off the lights while Wolf and I whispered. We would talk about everything and nothing, sometimes just breathing into each other's ear, but it felt like the best thing to do.
One day, she had called me and asked if I could be with my mother's phone after she slept and I promised to be with it. I snuck into my mother's room and went away with the phone, wide-eyed and happy even as the time read twelve-thirty in the morning. Immediately, her call came in, and I cooed, "hello" so softly that I heard Wolf take in a gulp of air.
"Hello. Amy, I discovered this new thing called extra cool, and we can talk for free till four in the morning. Isn't it awesome?"
I nodded happily before I realized she couldn't see me.
"Yes, it's awesome. I miss you so much, Wolf. I hate sleeping here alone, without your body touching mine."
"I am so happy I don't have to sleep with you anymore, you snore terribly, and you sleep talk like crazy."
I burst into laughter before I quickly reduced the pitch.
"It happened just once, wouldn't I ever outlive it? I was tired that day," I said.
"Yeah, right! Like I was the one that said you should try out for racing activities."
I giggled as I remembered the last inter-house sports and how I had taken a fall after successfully handing over my baton to the next person during the long race.
"I miss you so much," she said inaudibly, but I heard her so clearly that it felt like she had shouted it. Those were those days. We had made it a habit, every night I would stay awake and wait for her call, and we would talk about everyone and everything.
Now I was standing in the middle of the dormitory, my eyes searching for the one person that I truly ever cared about.
I didn't see her, and worry was starting to creep into my eyes when I felt someone cover my eyes with soft sweaty palms. Of course, she would want to play.
"Tejiri, I know it's you."
She giggled as she turned me around and hugged me hard. Her breasts pressing into mine that has grown out since the last time she saw me. It had started to grow and had refused to stop, my hips had filled out too, and I had lost all my baby fat. The long holidays had brought on my menarche, a couple of acne, and an onslaught of crazy feelings that I didn't understand.
Tejiri broke the hug and held me away for further study, she even turned me around.
"I almost didn't recognize you, Amy, what have you been eating, fertilizers?"
I blushed shyly as I realized that what Tejiri was staring at was a woman. My mother had even called me a baby elephant, I was fifteen, but I looked eighteen.
I broke the hug and pecked her dramatically a couple of times.
"God, I missed you," I said seriously before turning her around to check her out.
I knew her body more than I knew mine, but still, she had put on some weight since the last time, and she now stood taller than my shorter self.
"I missed you too. So what did you bring? Did you bring food?"
I giggled as she started searching through my bags. Tejiri would never change, and I loved her just the way she was.
We had made arrangements to sleep together, too, since I got back as we relocated from top bunks to the lower ones. We were seniors now, after all. Another thing that changed was the fact that senior Naomi had graduated, and even though I liked her, I was relieved that she was out of our hair.
Now the most crucial change was the number of male attention I got. It was like I was the newest thing to happen to the male folks, I got a lot of letters and flirtations, and it was the most annoying change of them all.
One day I was on my bed reading a letter from a senior named Emeka, and I was so disgusted by it that I was about to rip it into pieces before wolf found me.
"Let me see," she said, and I handed it to her with exasperation.
She read it and laughed so hard I had to close my ears.
"This is the cheesiest one yet, sugar in my tea? This guy is lame."
I joined her in her bout of laughter. She soon got serious as she said, "you should give in to this aspect of your life Amy, you are a woman now, and there is nothing wrong in exploring and h
aving a boyfriend, you don't need to have sex. They wouldn't stop till you say yes to one."
The thoughts of having a boyfriend held no appeal to me. The idea of her having a boyfriend made me sad and mad with rage. I didn't want anything to come between us. I wanted us to be this way forever. I knew she had one more year to enter into SS3 and that she would leave me here, but I never liked to think about it, and until then, I wanted nothing to separate us.
"Are you dating someone now, like finally said yes to one out of the tons of admirers you have?" I asked with a hard voice.
"No, Never. You know me, I don't have that time," she said, smiling, and I breathed easy and smiled back.
"But, Amy, give one of them a chance. Please!"
And that was a piece of advice that both of us would come to regret forever. It was the start of many of our problems.
******
That night, Tejiri dolled me up as I prepared to go meet a classmate of mine named Luke. He had won most handsome and neatest in junior class awards, and to top it off, he came from a little money. He seemed like a perfect choice, and Tejiri had asked me to overlook his dumbness when it came to academic work. In her own words, "not everyone will excel in this cage-like structure of education."
I had agreed on the meet up for Tejiri's sake as she had insisted almost in pain. It seemed like she wanted me to reduce my dependence on her, or was this entirely for her?
I met Luke in an empty classroom after lights out, and finally, I got to understand where those seniors always sneaked off to once it was lights out.
He led me out and reached for my hand, holding it in his clammy own. I wanted to retrieve my hand from his immediately, but for some reason, I let him keep it. He blabbed on how he'd always liked me, admired me, and thought I was beautiful. I zoned out. Instead, I was thinking of Tejiri and what she could be doing at the moment.