by Claire Ayres
Heath pulls Blair close kissing the top of her head. “Shit my love, nobody deserves to go through what you did. You aren’t the stupid one though. You know that right? Scott had a beautiful, intelligent woman like you and he fucked it up.”
Blair takes a shaky breath and buries her face in Heath’s chest. He buries his face in her neck, as he comforts her back.
“I was an idiot Heath, I never saw it, I believed all of his lies, I never once doubted him. That makes me an idiot.”
“You are not an idiot for trusting the man you loved,” Heath responds, he pulls her up until she is cradled in his lap and they are facing each other. “Don’t blame yourself for someone else’s shortcomings.” He says kissing her forehead and she smiles at him.
“Thank you.” She says and he shakes his head.
“Why are you thanking me? You have just shared your darkest secret with me. I’m honoured, and I’m really sorry you went through it. How does this fit into your relationship with Mark?”
“At a party last weekend, I was told Mark cheated with his best friends’ girlfriend. Apparently, it was only the once, and the two friends have sorted everything out now. The fact he is capable of cheating was enough for me.” She shrugs her shoulders defeated. Now expecting the same lecture Dean gave her.
“I get it,” Heath says. “I’ve been cheated on and trusting someone who has cheated on someone else would be a huge deal.” Blair looks at him shocked.
“You get it. Why I pushed him away. Broke it off?”
“Sure, maybe not the way you did it. I can definitely understand why you did it though. I’m also not going to deny I’m glad to know why and to know it leaves a path for me.” He smiles a cheeky smile and she returns it.
“Dean told me it wasn’t the same thing and I should give him a chance. He said what Mark did wasn’t on the same level as what Scott did and I should give him a chance.” She explains.
“I think Dean has never been cheated on,” Heath responds. “I guess it also depends how deep your feelings are for someone because if you are going to get past those trust issues you need to be pretty invested in the person.” Blair nods and thinks about how her world lights up when she is around Mark. Then the thought of how it felt when she found out about Scott’s child hits her and she knows walking away is the right thing.
“I really appreciate you talking to me about this. It can’t be much fun for you talking about another man.” She says
“At least I know the lay of the land now.” He says, winking. “Seriously, I meant what I said about friendship, first and foremost. Now would you like some food? I can order in because my fridge is empty” Blair sighs letting the last of the tension leave her body and gives Heath a kiss on the cheek, feeling sure the next couple of weeks will be just what she needs to move on.
Chapter Fifteen
Mark
It’s been almost a week since I stormed out of Blair’s flat, not my finest moment I will admit. I should have stopped and asked questions. Who was that guy, what was he to her? Now I have a million questions running around in my head, questions I can’t get answered because Blair won’t answer my calls, or texts, or even her front door. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I’m making a fool of myself chasing after a woman who clearly isn’t interested in me.
“Hey, Mark, you coming to lunch?” Paul calls over Luka standing next to him, coats on ready to go.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming.” I walk over slipping my warm winter coat on and we start walking out. We walk down the stairs towards the exit I spot Quinn sitting alone in the café. “Hold on a minute guys.” I jog over to where she is sitting. “Hey, Quinn. Aren’t you having lunch with your friends?”
She looks up at me and a gentle laugh comes out. “Hi Mark, no, I always eat alone.” She shrugs.
“Come on, you’re coming with us,” I say, picking up her coat from the back of the chair and holding it for her to put on.
“Umm, no, really you don’t have to do that.”
“Put your coat on already. I’m hungry.” I say and she slips her arms in, I squeeze her shoulder. “I know I don’t have to. I want to. Now come on.” I walk away and Quinn shuffles behind me. “Guys, you know Quinn, right? Quinn this is Luka and Paul. Now let’s go.”
The guys throw me a confused look, and I let them. Quinn might know what’s going on with Blair and she’s a nice girl who is starting out and is incredibly shy.
Sitting down at a nearby restaurant we order our food and everyone starts chatting. I’ll be honest I’m not much in the mood for idle chat at the moment, noticing a paper on the table which someone must have left behind I pick it up. One of the gossip rags, the front page headline is speculation about some rock star. Has Heath Finally Found Himself a Soulmate? I laughed to myself and thought at least somebody is having some luck, then opened the paper up full, my heart falling through the floor when I saw the accompanying photo. Clear as day, it was a photo of Blair, with the guy from her kitchen, his arm tightly around her shoulders as they are leaving a building together. There’s a smaller photo of them exiting a car holding hands, and another photo of them laughing while he pushes a strand of hair off her face. Mark doesn’t even realise he is shaking until Quinn puts her hand on his arm.
“Are you OK, Mark?” Quinn asks Mark as he looks up from the paper.
“Not really. Did you know? About this?”
Quinn takes the paper and gasps, then looks really upset. Shaking her head. “No, that is Heath. I was there when they met. I met his friend Liam, he was a really nice guy, I never even got his number.” She says the last part like an afterthought, it’s clear she’s really upset about this. “She wanted to see you, the whole thing had upset her, I thought she’d realised what you meant to her.”
“She did come to see me,” I tell her. “To tell me how much she hated me. I still don’t know what I did though.”
“She told me in the car she didn’t feel anything for Heath.” she nods at the paper “Which means, I have no idea what that is.”
“I think it is her way of telling me we have no future,” I say
“What is it?” Luka asks and I hand him the paper. He and Paul look it over at the same time.
“Shit man, that’s harsh.” Says Paul, never one to hide his feelings.
“What are you going to do?” Says Luka
“I think I walk away,” I respond. “I’ve spent the past couple of weeks chasing a girl who I was seeing for about the same amount of time, while she’s spent every opportunity she has had telling me to get lost. This,” I point at the paper in Luka’s hands, “is a pretty public way to reinforce that message. I’ll be honest, I thought she was the one, I think it’s pretty clear I jumped in both feet first far too early.” I lift my fork with salad on halfway to my mouth before changing my mind and putting it back down on the plate and guzzling my sparkling water wishing it was a pint of lager.
“I’m really sorry Mark,” Quinn says and squeezes my arm.
“What she said, mate.” Responds Paul.
“So what now?” Asks Luka
“Now? I quit acting like a pussy and go back to being myself.” I say with a lot more conviction than I feel. “Hey, Quinn?”
“Yeah?” she asks nervously.
“You know, now she’s in with this band, you could ask her for that guy's number.” Quinn’s eyes almost pop out of her head before she violently shakes it.
“Never gonna happen. It was a miracle I spoke to him in the first place. I’m not going to phone him!” I chuckle at her
“You should think about it. A pretty girl like you he would be an idiot not to want to hear from you.”
“I’m good, but thanks.”
As we finish lunch and talk about the concert we have coming up, it’s clear Quinn is starting to fit into our little group. When we walk back to rehearsals the newspaper article sticks in my head and I remind myself I have to let Blair go once and for all.
◆◆◆
&nbs
p; Later the same evening the whole orchestra has hit the bar for some well needed R&R. I’m at the bar with Quinn drinking neat whiskey and It’s not clear which of us is drunker.
“Here have another one Quinney” I pour her another drink and she pulls a face.
“I’m going to be so ill tomorrow and it’s all your fault.” She says poking me in the chest. I laugh and grab her hand, making her eyes widen in shock.
“I’ll willingly take the blame, now drink up, it’s good whiskey your wasting!” She picks up her glass and downs the liquid in one. Looking at me triumphantly.
“Damn girl! Come with me.” I take her hand and our coats and lead her outside.
“Where are we going?” she slurs.
“Somewhere good.” I say, leading her to a small food stand which makes crepes, “what do you want?” Her eyes light up and she tells me her filling, I put in the order and five minutes later we are sitting on a bench eating gooey hot crepes.
“Thanks for this.” She says.
“You’re welcome. I’ve had fun hanging out with you.”
“I’ve had fun hanging out with you too. I need more friends.” She takes another bite of her crepe.
“Have you been stuck in the good old musician trap of forgetting there is a world outside of your career?” I enquire between mouthfuls of crepe.
“Kind of, not helped by being shy.” She blushes.
“You do fine with people.” I say to her, “have some more confidence in yourself you can be one of the most popular people in the orchestra easily.”
“Well, it’s nice of you to say, having a few friends is my main goal.” She laughs and tosses her wrapper into the bin.
“What do you want to do now?” I say she looks at me and shrugs.
“We can go back to mine and have some food? You know, real food not a crepe!” I laugh, and she nods and says OK.
We walk back to my place picking up some Chinese on the way. Once we get back I plate it up and we sit on the couch with the fireplace throwing out plenty of heat on this chilly December evening. As we chat and eat.
“Were you serious earlier then, about leaving things with Blair?” she asks
“I don’t think I have a choice,” I respond, feeling the familiar pull of sadness in my chest again. “Blair has made it crystal clear she isn’t interested. I’ve done everything I can think of to win her over. I wish I knew why.” I shrug my shoulders. Resigned to the direction this has gone.
“For what it’s worth, I think she’s an idiot, Mark,” Quinn says, quietly, almost a whisper. “You’re such a kind and caring person. Take me for example. You didn’t have to befriend me, introduce me to your friends, invite me to lunch or spend time with me this evening, just to make sure I wasn’t on my own, except you did. You could have been with your mates probably having a better time, instead you kept me company. I think it speaks volumes about the type of person you are.”
I sit stunned for a moment partly at the lovely words she has said about me and partly because I’ve never heard her use so many words.
“Hey, don’t think I did any of it out of a sense of loyalty or expectation. I’m not like that Quinn. I think you’re a nice person, and I’d like you to be a friend.” I put an arm around her shoulder and pull her in for a hug
“Thanks, Mark, I stand by what I said Blair is an idiot. You’re worth a thousand of Heath.”
“That means a lot, thank you.”
We sit in silence for a few more minutes before I suggest a movie. She agrees, and we go with Shaun of the Dead. Quinn tells me it’s one of her favourites raising her even higher in my friend stakes. We’ve both drunk far too much tonight, I grab a couple of Cokes and some Pringles.
When the movie has finished Quinn has fallen asleep curled up in the cushions. I get a blanket and cover her up before I go to the bedroom. I play our conversation through again in my mind, it would be wonderful to tell Blair she’s an idiot and to change her mind, the fact is if she’s made her mind up there is nothing I can do to change it and I have to accept our fleeting affair was fleeting.
Deciding it’s time to let her know I’ve got the message I send her a text.
Mark: I’ve seen the paper and know you have moved on, I just wish I knew your reasons. I believe we could have been great together. I accept you don’t feel the same. Good luck Blair, be happy.
Chapter Sixteen
Blair
Blair sits at the kitchen table working on the photos from Jess and Luka’s engagement party. The band had to do some radio show today, filming was put on hold until next week. Heath had invited her to go along. Blair chose to decline aware she had been neglecting her work in favour of this exciting new job he had placed in her lap. The week has passed, their friendship has grown stronger although his hints at wanting something more have now become sledgehammers banging against the door that is her body and soul, if persistence were an Olympic sport Heath would be in the running for Gold.
Her phone rings and she smiles when she sees Dean’s name appear on the screen.
“Dean.” She says full of happiness to be hearing from her best friend.
“Hey, stranger. You’ve been quiet, everything OK?”
“Yes, I’m in London, you wouldn’t believe the job I got myself.” She says, knowing Dean will be as impressed as she is excited at this, they’ve both been to many of the band's gigs together over the years.
“What, are you photographing a secret Royal wedding?” He jokes
“It’s better than that, believe it or not, and it isn’t a wedding.” She says.
“Seriously? You have to tell me now.”
“I’m only shooting The Blaze for two weeks!”
“You are shittin’ me?” Dean yells down the phone “How the hell did you bag yourself a gig like that? You lucky cow!”
“I met Heath and Liam when I was out one night and we got talking, next thing you know I’m taking photographs of them.”
“Fuck me, you’re in the big time! What are they like?”
“They’re nice guys, I’m staying with Heath, he wouldn’t let me get a hotel.”
“My God girl you’re killing me you know that?! Does this means you’re friends with them? This isn’t only a work thing?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Blair can’t help starting to laugh. Dean is such a fanboy. She half expects him to turn up in London now.
“OK, I need a signed …. Something! This is my favourite band and you’re shacking up with the lead singer! Shit, hold on if you’re shacking up with him what happened with Mark?”
“OK I’m not shacking up with anyone, I’m sleeping in his spare room, he’s my friend, like you.”
“You didn’t answer my question about Mark, I thought we agreed you were going to talk it through with him?”
“Christ, why did you phone me again? As for Mark, we’re over. He’s a very small blip in my past. I don’t trust anyone, and you know I have a good reason for that.”
“I don’t believe you about Mark, there was something between you, we all saw the sparks the minute you guys met. He got under your skin and if you’re too ignorant to see it and to find a way to work past it then I have no idea what to say to you. Don’t go jumping into something with Heath, even something sexual and meaningless. You don’t need all the baggage which comes with it.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, thanks, Dad.”
“Hah, very funny. Now when will you be home?”
“Not until next week, probably Saturday morning. I’ll message you to confirm when it’s sorted.” Blair puts her fingers through her hair and rolls her eyes, seeing her situation through Dean’s eyes it doesn’t look good.
“OK, take care of yourself, and get me something good from The Blaze!” Dean hangs up and Blair goes back to her work staring at a photo she took of Mark and Luka talking and laughing, the love between them shining and the voice in her head starts up again. If what he did was so bad would his best friend have forgiven him? More than
that would he look at him with so much love? Honestly, she knows the answer is no, she knows deep down she should speak to Mark, to Luka. To truly understand what happened, she is terrified, her own experience is marring everything, she never wants to feel the way she felt on the day Dean told her what was happening ever again. All the dreams she had of getting married, of having a family with the man she loved were torn away from her with one devastating sentence and she doesn’t know how to get past it and see the good in someone who can cheat on someone they say they love.
She wipes a tear from her face and picks her phone back up. Scrolling to Jess’ number she dials and takes a deep breath.
“Blair! I’m over the moon to hear from you.” Why is this girl always nice to me?
“Hi Jess, I’m sorry I’ve been quiet, I got a last-minute job in London which has kept me busy.”
“No, don’t apologise, you have to go with the work, I understand.”
“I was working through the engagement party photo’s and they are stunning, I think you and Luka will be really happy. I was hoping when I’m back from London, I could come and work through my favourites with you, we could pick which ones you want in your album?”
“We would love for you to come over, when is good for you?” Jess sounds excited and happy
“I’ll be back the week after Christmas, any time during that week is good.”