I was so little when he first followed me to the Thornes. I always thought he called himself the Shadow Man. When I recently learned that he was fae, I thought he had tricked me.
But I was the one who gave him the name?
Even worse, if this is Nine’s true appearance, I’m screwed.
He was right. Even as a kid, I had never really been all that afraid of the dark. An unwanted touch, definitely, but the dark? Nope. I guess, if I had to fall for a fae, at least it’s a Dark Fae.
“Why?” I ask him. “What makes you so special?”
Nine’s eyes shutter. I’m pretty sure it’s the first time I see him blink. He closes his eyes, the lid closing over the glow for a heartbeat, before it comes back, like a flashlight flickering on and off.
“It could be that you’re the Shadow.”
Oof, Nine. Wrong answer.
The words explode out of me. “I’m not the Shadow!”
He nods. “Yes. You are.”
Okay. Fine. “Well, I don’t want to be the Shadow. That better?”
“There’s no escaping it. Whether you’re the child of the Shadow Prophecy or not, Melisandre believes you are. You became the Shadow the day she first sent her soldiers after you.”
I’ve spent days trying to pretend that I’m not even a blip on the powerful Fae Queen’s radar. I mean, really? Just because I can do some cool parlor tricks with shadows, that doesn’t mean that I’m gunning for her or anything. She’s got to know that.
Of course, then Nine has to go and mention freaking soldiers.
I scoff. I have to, because if I don’t, I might just puke. Soldiers? Hell, no.
“You told me when I was a kid to watch out for the fae because they’ll be coming for me one day. I think I would’ve noticed it if I had soldiers after me.”
Nine is silent. He’s quiet for so long, in fact, that I start to let myself think that maybe—just maybe—I found a hole in his logic. Maybe he was wrong. Apart from Nine and Rys, I’ve never encountered another fae. And, okay, Carolina seems to be all aboard the “Fae Queen is after Riley” train, but maybe she’s wrong, too, right?
And that’s when Nine hikes his pants up, then lowers himself so that we’re eye to eye. The tail end of his shadowy duster pools around him, wafting in the slight breeze from the partly open window.
“You were barely a year old,” he begins, his voice developing a rasp that I’ve never heard from Nine before. It’s still got that inherently fae-like enchanting quality, but more emotion than my Shadow Man has ever let slip into his tone. My breath catches in my throat as he continues. “She has spies everywhere, in the human world and in Faerie. After he mated his human, Aislinn left the Seelie Court. He forsook his people—and his queen—to live on the other side, despite what it did to his power and his strength. Melisandre kept watch over her favored guard, hoping to sway him back to her side. And then you were born.
“She discovered your ability to shade-walk. I don’t know how. Aislinn would’ve hidden it with everything he had, but she found out and she sent her soldiers after you. A dead halfling would be no threat to her reign… only the guard that eventually found you chose to spare you. Your mother wasn’t so fortunate.”
To hear him mention my mother’s death so callously freaking stings. I mean, she’s been gone for twenty years now, and it does something for me to know my parents’ last act was to sacrifice themselves for my safety, but it doesn’t seem to bother Nine at all.
He’s fae, I remind myself. No matter what, I can’t change that fact. He’s fae, just like Rys, and the death of some human is as inconsequential to him as me swatting a fly that’s pissing me off with its buzz.
Despite his cold facade, he obviously mourns my dad. My mom? She was just a human.
And I’m a halfling.
Why do I matter?
I want to ask him that. I don’t, though. I’m too afraid of what his answer will be.
Instead, I wave my hand, scattering the shadows that cling to me. The more upset I am, the thicker they become, which isn’t helping me in the denial department. I scowl. “I don’t want to talk about my mom, alright?”
Nine’s eyebrows wing up. He’s seeing the shadows respond to me, too, isn’t he? “Then we won’t discuss her.”
“Good.”
“That doesn’t change the situation, Riley. Now that you’re free from the asylum, you’ve lost the last of your protection. I can’t bring you to Faerie. We got lucky that Melisandre didn’t sense your presence that day in the garden, and since she left that statue out for you, I’m certain she’d been expecting you. Next time, it won’t be a frozen human. It’ll be one of her guards.”
“Good to know. So I’m not going to Faerie anytime soon. That’s fine.
Nine lets out a frustrated exhale. Running his pale hands through his long, dark hair, he shoves it out of his face, revealing a pointy ear that looks just like mine.
“For how long, though? There’s no wards. Barely any iron and almost no protection. Rys never should’ve forced my hand. We both agreed that the asylum would’ve been a safe place for you. Hiding you under Melisandre’s nose, as it were. He was supposed to wait until they released you before we found another place to keep you away from the queen.”
“I thought I imagined you telling me that,” I confess. “The peach made me so sick, I thought it was something I made up. No way did I think you’d ever work with Rys… are you—” I shake my head. This is too much. “So, let me get this straight. You really are the reason I was in Black Pine all that time?”
Nine stiffens. His hands fall to his side. With a shake of his head, his hair settles in place again, hiding his ears. Suddenly on guard, he nods. “More or less.”
“And you worked with Rys to put me in there—and that’s after he killed my sister? Are you kidding me?”
“We had a bargain. Though we’re”—Nine pauses, as if searching for the right word, and, in my mind, I hear Rys whisper rival—“from opposite factions, we both had one thing in common. Both of us had our reasons for protecting the Shadow. We each agreed to place you somewhere you’d be safe until you came of age. As soon as you started to come into your power, our contract was met and we were both free to return to you.”
I’m not so interested in that. I know what happened after Rys appeared in my dreams, and how I thought I heard Nine call for me before I actually saw him a few days later.
No. I’m still trying to figure out why these two powerful creatures put aside their differences to take care of me.
“Okay. Now, you went to all that trouble because you and my mom had a bargain, too, right? You were supposed to watch over me.”
Nine slips his hand into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the same pebble I’ve seen him carrying before. He lets it fall in his palm, almost as if he has to assure himself that he still has it, then closes his fingers over it. When he opens his hand again, the pebble is gone.
And he nods. “Yes.”
“So what was his reason? Rys. Why would he want to keep me safe?”
Nine’s gorgeous face closes off. He doesn’t give off a single hint of what he’s thinking as he says, “If you really want to know why a Blessed One does anything, you’re asking the wrong fae. I know what Rys says his reasons are. He believes them to be true. Is there more to it? Of course. But you’d have to go to him for answers.”
Is this a test?
It feels like a test.
Either way, I shake my head. “Yeah. I’d rather not.”
“That’s smart, Riley,” Nine says, and I hate that his approval helps make this terrible situation not so bad. “Rys, for all his years, has always been impulsive. He should’ve waited and, now, here we are. He’s playing for your heart while I’m hoping to save your life.”
Well, of course Nine doesn’t have to play for my heart. I handed that to him ages ago and, whether it’s because of the touch or not, I realize he never gave it back.
Wrapping my arms arou
nd my knees, I peer over at him. I just… I just let myself look at him.
Nine is like a magnet. Even from my spot across the room, I can still feel the strength of his pull.
When I’m spending time with Carolina and our conversations inevitably turn to the fae again, it’s so easy to be mad at him, to hate him, to wish he would stay away and maybe all of my trouble—and Carolina’s heavy expectations—would go away, too. But then I see him again. All of that anger, confusion, and certainty is a long forgotten memory. It doesn’t seem real.
At this moment, Nine is the most real thing to me.
“I hope you do,” I say at last. When Nine cocks his head to the side, curious, in that almost alien way that he has, I add, “Save my life, I mean.”
“I will do anything I can to keep you safe. You have my word, Riley.”
A contract.
Nine just entered into a contract with me.
Does he know what he’s done?
His eyes flash, a brilliant silver that brightens up the gloom in the dark living room. He takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring, his cheekbones jutting from his sculpted face as he punctuates his vow with a look that dares me to refuse him.
Oh yeah. He knows. He absolutely knows. That was no slip of his tongue. Like any fae with his magic, Nine made me a promise without even trying to get something out of me in return.
If it was anyone else, I’d consider it a rookie mistake. With Nine, though? I don’t even want to begin to wonder what that’s about.
I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, either. I should be terrified of him and his strength. Hell, I should hate him for the way he was the puppet master pulling my strings my entire life. I should totally command him to stay away.
But I can’t.
Maybe I let him touch me too many times and his hold is strong. Or maybe it’s our bond. Ever since I was a little girl, Nine was always there for me. Even when I was convinced that he abandoned me like everyone else I’ve ever known, he was only doing it because it helped me survive the Fae Queen. Nine might have disappeared from my life these last six years, but I got to live because he worked with Rys to shield me.
He worked with the Light Fae who was responsible for my sister’s death—and who thinks that I should date him anyway.
Jesus Christ, my life is screwed up.
When Nine’s with me, though, it doesn’t seem so bad. I should want him to go, to leave me alone. But, touch or no touch, I really want him to stay.
He does. I don’t send him away, and he stays until just before the sun comes up.
And that’s when I do something I’m not so proud of.
Right before he enters the portal, I call out after him.
“Why do you always have to leave?” I demand. I’m whining, but I just don’t care. “If you’re supposed to keep me safe, why can’t you stay? Find a way.”
“That’s just the touch talking. You don’t really want me here.” He believes that. He honestly does. And the worst part? There’s a good chance he’s right. “The sun will be here soon. I have to go back.”
“Then take me with you.”
Nine frowns. “You know I can’t do that. I might as well hand you over to Melisandre myself.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You know what? I don’t think you want to. Faerie’s huge. I remember you telling me it’s unmappable, but it’s freaking huge. You could hide me there. I know you could.”
“I won’t risk it. Now, stay here. I’ll be back for you as soon as the shadows fall.” He hesitates a second before he adds, “If you need me before then, find the darkest shadow you can and call my name. I’ll come.”
“I won’t need you.”
“Even so, I’ll return tonight. If you insist on staying here until we find you somewhere safe, I’ll bring you some rowan. For now, turn your clothes inside out. It’s a small help, but it might be enough until I come back.”
Because it’s an old habit, I tuck Nine’s instructions in the back of my head, then mutter under my breath. “I’d rather go with you.”
He heard me. I figured he would.
“No,” Nine says forcefully. “You wouldn’t.”
And, before I can counter with another childish retort, he slips into the portal and disappears.
I wait to see if he’ll come back. Don’t know why he would—he never did, no matter how many times I pleaded with him as a kid—but I guess, despite growing up, I still have that innocent hope when it comes to Nine.
But he doesn’t and, feeling lost, alone, and rejected, the quiet Wilkes House seems almost oppressively so in Nine’s absence. The air shifts as soon as he’s gone. The fact that my first instinct is to command him to come back after it’s clear he won’t on his own is a huge problem.
And I don’t even have Carolina coming over shortly to serve as the distraction I so desperately need.
I can’t stay here. Maybe I really am nuts, but I swear I can still taste the way his scent, his magic lingers in the cool air. No matter how many shadows I wrap myself up in, it doesn’t help. I can’t follow him, either, and it frightens me that I… I think I would if I could.
Yeah, no. I can’t stay here.
Even though I still haven’t gone to sleep yet, I scoop up the baseball cap and the sunglasses Carolina brought for me, then slip out the backdoor just as the sun is coming up.
15
So, I go to the movies.
Hey. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I’d forgotten all about the indie movie theatre tucked on the border of Acorn Falls. It’s not so far from the Wilkes House. I’m maybe walking for about an hour when I stumble upon it and see that they’re running a special.
Four movies for the price of one. If I buy a ticket, I can sit inside and watch a movie marathon. It sounded perfect. I don’t blow through much of Lina’s cash, I’ve finally got the chance to get out of the house I’ve been hiding in these last few days, and what’s the chance of anyone recognizing me in the darkness?
One problem, though.
I’ve been up since yesterday morning, my disappointment over Nine leaving me has switched over to embarrassment when I think of the way I acted, and I’m super exhausted after walking around this morning. The second the house lights go down and I’m snuggled down in my seat in the last row of the theatre, I can already feel my eyes grow heavier and heavier until they’re closed.
The next thing I know, I’m not in the theater anymore.
I don’t have a freaking clue where I am. No idea. Then again, the room is so hazy, it’s like it’s full of fog or something. No matter how hard I wave my hand, it does nothing to clear the space.
I can pick out a couple of details. I’m indoors. That much is obvious. There’s this thick, lush rug under my feet; my sneakers sink deeper and deeper into the shag with every step. The walls are white. High windows arching over my head let in a light so bright, it reflects off the hazy mist.
To my left, I see stairs. An ornately carved banister wraps around the spiral set. When I see it twinkle, I realize that it’s not any kind of wood or metal—it’s glass. Weird. It looks sturdy, though, and I might’ve reached for it if I didn’t notice the large, heavy door set in the wall off to my right.
The fog is thinner near the door. It’s big. Huge. I can put another of me on my shoulders and still not hit my head on the door jamb. It’s painted the same pristine white as the wall. If it weren’t for the lines that marked its shaped and the expensive-looking doorknob, I don’t even know if I would recognize it for what it is.
The knob twinkles like the banister. It’s a pale gold, pulled in a shape like a massive diamond. I… I think it’s crystal.
This weirdo place has a crystal doorknob.
Okay, then.
Yeah.
I’ve definitely never been here before.
I drift toward the door. I’ve got this idea that I should open it up. It might lead to another room, or even outdoors. Either way, it�
��s information I won’t have if I linger in this eerily quiet space. Everything around me seems so expensive, I’m almost afraid to breathe in case I break something.
I can’t bring myself to grab the fancy doorknob. Up close, it doesn’t look so sturdy. What if the crystal shatters against my leather glove? My hand’s outstretched, inches away from the curve of the knob, and I just can’t do it.
Come on, Riley. What if freedom’s out there? Or, better yet, some answers?
Yeah. I’m gonna turn the knob.
Suddenly, a voice comes through the door. I draw my hand back. I don’t know if it’s freedom out there, but there’s definitely something—or someone—on the other side. Once I recognize the familiar voice whispering through the door, it hits me that I might be trapped in this strange room, but answers… I might just get some of those.
She doesn’t sound muffled. How thick is that door? Though her voice is quiet and low, it comes through clearly.
My stomach drops.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“I can’t stay long,” Carolina murmurs. There’s a deferential note that I’ve never heard from her before. I don’t like it. “She’s expecting me back in a few days of human time.”
She… How much do I want to bet I know who she means?
“You’ll stay as long as I require you to. Find a way around the truth if you must, but if you have to keep up the pretense that you’re on the Shadow’s side, you will. You’ve done an admirable job so far, Carolina. If I didn’t know you were completely human, I’d wonder if you shared some faerie blood.”
Carolina… even if I didn’t recognize the first voice, the way the rich, haughty second speaker uses her name seals the deal for me.
I figured she wasn’t alone. She had to be talking to someone, right? The way she says human, though, it’s probably not her parents.
But she’s supposed to be with her parents.
Ah, crap.
I really freaking hope this is a dream. That the stress from being on the run, coupled with the way I left things with Nine before I snuck out again, has messed up my head. I was tired, so it makes sense that I would fall asleep.
Shadow (Touched by the Fae Book 2) Page 14