by W. W. Jacobs
expectantly towards the doorway.
"Where is he?" she gasped.
"Eh?" said Mr. Kidd, in a startled voice. "Why here. Don't you know'im?"
"It's me, Susan," said Mr. Gibbs, in a low voice.
"Oh, I might 'ave known it was a joke," cried Mrs. Gibbs, in a faintvoice, as she tottered to a chair. "Oh,'ow cruel of you to tell me mypore Joe was alive! Oh, 'ow could you?"
"Lor' lumme," said the incensed Mr. Kidd, pushing Mr. Gibbs forward."Here he is. Same as you saw 'im last, except for 'is whiskers. Don'tmake that sobbing noise; people'll be coming in."
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Take 'im away," cried Mrs. Gibbs. "Go and play yourtricks with somebody else's broken 'art."
"But it's your husband," said Mr. Brown.
"Take 'im away," wailed Mrs. Gibbs.
Mr. Kidd, grinding his teeth, tried to think. "'Ave you got any marks onyour body, Joe?" he inquired.
"I ain't got a mark on me," said Mr. Gibbs with a satisfied air, "or ablemish. My skin is as whi--"
"That's enough about your skin," interrupted Mr. Kidd, rudely.
"If you ain't all of you gone before I count ten," said Mrs. Gibbs, in asuppressed voice, "I'll scream. 'Ow dare you come into a respectablewoman's place and talk about your skins? Are you going? One! Two!Three! Four! Five!"
Her voice rose with each numeral; and Mr. Gibbs himself led the waydownstairs, and, followed by his friends, slipped nimbly round thecorner.
"It's a wonder she didn't rouse the whole 'ouse," he said, wiping hisbrow on his sleeve; "and where should we ha' been then? I thought at thetime it was a mistake you making me 'ave my whiskers off, but I let youknow best. She's never seen me without 'em. I 'ad a remarkable stronggrowth when I was quite a boy. While other boys was--"
"Shut-up!" vociferated Mr. Kidd.
"Sha'n't!" said Mr. Gibbs, defiantly. "I've 'ad enough of being awayfrom my comfortable little 'ome and my wife; and I'm going to let 'emstart growing agin this very night. She'll never reckernize me without'em, that's certain."
"He's right, Bob," said Mr. Brown, with conviction.
"D'ye mean to tell me we've got to wait till 'is blasted whiskers grow?"cried Mr. Kidd, almost dancing with fury. "And go on keeping 'im inidleness till they do?"
"You'll get it all back out o' my share," said Mr. Gibbs, with dignity."But you can please yourself. If you like to call it quits now, I don'tmind."
Mr. Brown took his seething friend aside, and conferred with him in lowbut earnest tones. Mr. Gibbs, with an indifferent air, stood bywhistling softly.
"'Ow long will they take to grow?" inquired Mr. Kidd, turning to himwith a growl.
Mr. Gibbs shrugged his shoulders. "Can't say," he replied; "but I shouldthink two or three weeks would be enough for 'er to reckernize me by. Ifshe don't, we must wait another week or so, that's all."
"Well, there won't be much o' your share left, mind that," said Mr. Kidd,glowering at him.
"I can't help it," said Mr. Gibbs. "You needn't keep reminding me ofit."
They walked the rest of the way in silence; and for the next fortnightMr. Gibbs's friends paid nightly visits to note the change in hisappearance, and grumble at its slowness.
"We'll try and pull it off to-morrow night," said Mr. Kidd, at the end ofthat period. "I'm fair sick o' lending you money."
Mr. Gibbs shook his head and spoke sagely about not spoiling the ship fora ha'porth o' tar; but Mr. Kidd was obdurate.
"There's enough for 'er to reckernize you by," he said, sternly, "and wedon't want other people to. Meet us at the Monument at eight o'clockto-morrow night, and we'll get it over."
"Give your orders," said Mr. Gibbs, in a nasty voice.
"Keep your 'at well over your eyes," commanded Mr. Kidd, sternly. "Putthem spectacles on wot I lent you, and it wouldn't be a bad idea if youtied your face up in a piece o' red flannel."
"I know wot I'm going to do without you telling me," said Mr. Gibbs,nodding. "I'll bet you pots round that you don't either of youreckernize me tomorrow night."
The bet was taken at once, and from eight o'clock until ten minutes tonine the following night Messrs. Kidd and Brown did their best to win it.Then did Mr. Kidd, turning to Mr. Brown in perplexity, inquire with manyredundant words what it all meant.
"Gone!" exclaimed both gentlemen. "Where?"]
"He must 'ave gone on by 'imself," said Mr. Brown. "We'd better go andsee."
In a state of some disorder they hurried back to Wapping, and, mountingthe stairs to Mrs. Gibbs's room, found the door fast. To their ferventand repeated knocking there was no answer.
"Ah, you won't make her 'ear," said a woman, thrusting an untidy headover the balusters on the next landing. "She's gone."
"Gone!" exclaimed both gentlemen. "Where?"
"Canada," said the woman. "She went off this morning."
Mr. Kidd leaned up against the wall for support; Mr. Brown stood open-mouthed and voiceless.
"It was a surprise to me," said the woman, "but she told me this morningshe's been getting ready on the quiet for the last fortnight. Goodspirits she was in, too; laughing like anything."
"Laughing!" repeated Mr. Kidd, in a terrible voice.
The woman nodded. "And when I spoke about it and reminded 'er that she'ad only just lost 'er pore husband, I thought she would ha' burst," shesaid, severely. "She sat down on that stair and laughed till the tearsran dowwn 'er face like water."
Mr. Brown turned a bewildered face upon his partner. "Laughing!" hesaid, slowly. "Wot 'ad she got to laugh at?"
"Two born-fools," replied Mr. Kidd.