by Mirren Hogan
On the drive down, Makani flipped through the radio stations, finally settling on Elvis and the Rolling Stones. She was screaming along with the songs as she wove through the light traffic on the freeway. She even made an effort not to run over a motorcyclist that was trying to get around her.
Flynn sat and watched the scenery fly by in a blur. Not that he didn’t mind the classics, but he’d have preferred the channel that was playing something more modern. Even Emma said his taste in music was, at times, appalling. But then, both of his sisters had reached the point where the only music they listened to was from their era. That’s what he got for being born so many years after them. He sighed as an old Monkees song came on. At least Makani’s singing would keep monsters away.
Hopefully.
They finally got away from the urban sprawl, and down towards the southeastern coast where Flynn had his place. There was already an SUV in the driveway, which Makani parked behind, and turned off the engine. “So . . . ready to introduce a strange girl to your loud sister and her insane children?”
“No, can we leave before they see us? Crap, too late,” he muttered. With a sigh, he got out of the jeep as three small forms came barreling toward him, screaming “Uncle Flynn, Uncle Flynn!” At the tops of their considerable voices.
They could have passed for triplets, they looked so alike. Each had dark brown hair, brown eyes, and pigtails. They all wore singlet tops, each in a different color, and matching shorts. Only the differences in height gave away their ages.
The Terrors almost knocked him off his feet, jumping on him with all the enthusiasm and energy of childhood. Somehow, he managed to untangle himself from them, having given them a collective hug. He managed a smile as a buxom, but otherwise willowy blonde woman and a slightly taller, dumpy dark haired man climbed out of the SUV. His sister had been stunning in her youth, but age and motherhood had faded her somewhat. She was still striking and he wondered, for the millionth time, what she could have ever seen in Jason.
“Flynnie!” Emma glided forward, her heels clicking on the driveway as she moved. He gave her an awkward hug and shook Jason’s sweaty hand. He looked around for Makani, hoping she’d rescue him.
The first thing Makani did was take a picture of his expression with her phone. Then she ‘accidentally’ hit the car horn, and popped out of the jeep. “Hi! You must be Flynnie’s sister. I’m Ruth-Ann.” She threw her arms around the other woman and gave her a huge grin.
Flynn gave her a funny look, but Emma squealed and returned the hug.
“It’s so nice to meet a friend of Flynnie’s!” She turned to her husband. “See Jason, I told you he wasn’t gay!”
Jason grunted and shrugged. “Hey mate, long time, no see.”
Flynn smiled wanly. “Hey.”
“Hi, Jason. Nice to meet you.” Makani gave him a firm handshake, and turned her attention back to the woman. “So, can we show you guys some of the sights, give you a feel for the island? I’m sure you guys are dying to check out the shopping and food.” Her eyes slid over to Flynn, and she winked at him.
“Absolutely!” Emma enthused. “Oh, these are our beautiful daughters.” She pointed to them in turn, starting with the oldest. “Chloe, Ashley, and China. They might be a little bit rambunctious, they’ve been on that plane for bloody hours. And the damn air hostesses, or whatever they’re called these days, wouldn’t give them any more food. They’re quiet when they eat! Isn’t that unreasonable? They said they’d run out, but they should just stock more. Fancy people going hungry. Especially in first class!”
She rolled her eyes and gave Flynn a sly look. “Of course, I shouldn’t brag, some people just can’t afford better than economy. Poor dears.”
Flynn just sighed and checked his watch.
In her best tour guide voice, Makani said “Well, let’s get you guys something to eat, and we can have a picnic at one of my favorite spots. If the girls feel brave enough, they can go swimming, or look for rock crabs. How’s that sound for everyone?”
“Yeah!” The girls all screamed, loud enough to be heard by the cats at Makani’s house and the prawns in the karst. If they had heard, they’d probably be wise enough to run, or swim, and hide.
“I’m not scared of anything!” Ashley declared. “If I see a shark, it’ll just punch it!
“Yeah, right in the ass,” Chloe added.
“Besides, “ Ashley went on as if Chloe had never spoken. “It won’t eat me, it’ll eat China, she’s so slow!”
“Am not,” China declared, her hands on her hips, tears in her eyes.
“Are too!” Chloe added.
“I am not!” China swung her hand and slapped Chloe on the arm.
“Owwww, you. little snot! Chloe raised her arm to hit back when Jason finally stepped between them.
“Now, now. Keep your hands to yourselves!” Jason snapped, not very firmly. “Kids,” he rolled his eyes and shrugged, his heavy shoulders rising and falling as if it was a huge effort. “Hopefully they’ll grow out of this soon.”
The Terrors were giving each other dirty looks and sticking out their tongues behind their father’s back. Flynn heard Chloe whisper to China, “I’m going to get you for that!” Either Jason didn’t hear or he didn’t care. Either way, Flynn didn’t think they were going to grow out of anything anytime soon. Not without some parental guidance. If he’d have behaved that way as a child, he’d have been sent to time-out or at least reprimanded. Thankfully, how his sister raised her children was neither his concern nor his problem.
“We won’t all fit in your car, Ruth-Ann,” Flynn pointed out, giving her a pointed look. It wasn’t a bad thing. The Terrors in a confined space didn’t bear thinking about.
“Why don’t we take the kids, while Jason and Emma follow behind us. We can handle them. Right, Flynn?” She looked as though she was barely holding back peals of laughter, and if they didn’t get away soon, she wouldn’t be able to hold it back.
“Or they could go with their parents, Ruth-Ann.” His teeth were gritted as he spoke. He couldn’t help but recall Chloe’s words of a moment ago—I’m going to get you for this. Although anything she could or would do to make it up to him would be much more fun than what a 12-year-old could inflict on her sister.
“I’m sure the girls would prefer the comfort of the SUV. Right girls?” He looked at them hopefully.
The girls had other ideas. They all squealed, loudly, testing the limits of the sound barrier. And Flynn’s ears.
“Yeah! We wanna go with Uncle Flynn!” Without so much as hesitating to check with their parents, they ran toward the jeep.
“I’m not sitting in the middle!” Ashley declared, running around to the far side of the jeep and tugging the door open.
“Me either!” Chloe and China started shoving each other with their elbows, each trying to make their sister get in first.
“You could walk all the way,” Flynn commented dryly.
Chloe managed to shove China in first and climbed in beside her.
“That’s my seatbelt!” Ashley snatched the belt from China and clicked it into the wrong place.
“That’s China’s, stupid!” Chloe snapped as China burst into tears. “That’s yours!” She pointed.
“Oh.”
A few moments later, the girls were buckled in and sitting up, looking as if butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths. Flynn knew it wouldn’t last long. It never did.
Flynn shot Makani a You’re going to regret this look. At least the Terrors were quiet for now. Resigned, he sat in the passenger seat and braced himself for a loud drive.
“So . . . you guys follow me, we’ll stop for food, and then we’ll head to the waterfront park. Kay? We’ll take care of the girls. Promise!” Makani got in and started hot wiring the jeep. Surprisingly, she only scared a passing bicyclist and toddler riding on the back of the bike.
As they got out of the driveway, she asked the girls, “Okay, who likes pizza?” She reached for her phone, dialed a num
ber, and handed it to Flynn. “Order three large whatevers. Just put it under my name, they know me.”
“Which name?” Flynn asked.
“I hate pineapple,” China declared. “It’s gross!”
“I want meat lovers,” Chloe yelled over her.
“Eating meat is wrong,” Ashley said. “You shouldn’t eat animals. Ow, Chloe hit me!” she shrieked. “She popped my blood vessel! See, it’s all red. I’m going to bleed to death on the inside!”
“You can’t bleed to death on the inside, dummy.”
“Can too!”
Flynn listening to the phone ringing.
“Ashley hit me!” Chloe yelled.
“I did not, butthole!”
“I hate you!”
“You’re adopted!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“UNCLE FLYNN!”
“Okay, for reals: SHADDUP!” That got the girls’ attention. “Thank you. Hey, who likes Katy Perry?!” Makani flipped the radio off, and she flicked her mp3 player on. Sure enough, she had something for the girls to sing along to.
“Told you,” Flynn said under his breath. When someone finally answered on the other end, he pushed a finger into his opposite ear and ordered a pizza with pineapple, one without and one with extra cheese, for the Terror’s’ parents. And one with extra anchovies, so he could make sure he got some pizza too. The rest of his family wouldn’t eat it.
“Ewww, anchovies are disgusting!” Ashley declared loudly.
Makani might be, but the rest of this ride was no teenage dream.
It didn’t take long to get the pizza, find some sodas and water, and make it out to the park. Surf was up, and shortboarders littered the oceanfront. With its steep grassy hills, nicely paved walkways, and access to the ocean, it was a perfect spot for a picnic. “There! See, I only had to yell once! They were fine once I got them onto the music.” Makani started unloading her gear, and let the girls pile out.
“And now look at them,” Flynn pointed.
The Terrors sat on the grass, eating pizza with one hand and poking each other with the other one. Each poke was getting harder than the next. They were starting to leave red marks on each other. Apparently the more red, the better.
“Right, you three, stop that before pizza ends up in someone’s hair or lap.” He sat down beside them and picked up a slice.
The girls laughed loudly and promptly tried to smear greasy hands into each other’s hair. Flynn sighed. Where are their parents? Maybe it wasn’t them, maybe it was him. It was possible that they were just ordinary kids and he just didn’t have the patience for them. He glanced at Makani over his slice. He doubted any child she had would yell and scream and try to inflict pain on one another. No, hers would be tough, independent, resilient and good with sharp objects.
“Hey! If you girls want me to teach you something seriously cool, you’ve gotta finish eating! Like, now! Come on, if I finish before you, Uncle Flynn and I are gonna play a game by ourselves!” To prove her point, Makani neatly devoured the first half of a slice.
Pizza promptly disappeared into little mouths, silence falling temporarily. Flynn wasn’t so hungry. Although the pizza was the best he’d ever had, he kept looking over his shoulder, waiting for the SUV to pull in beside the jeep. Where were Emma and Jason?
He glanced at Makani when the girls weren’t looking. His brow creased with concern. What if the mananggal or a kappa had found them? He pictured the look on his sister’s face if he ever saw them, visualized them getting torn apart, into spreads before devoured. The thought made his stomach turn and then lead him to a worse one. What if they’d ditched their kids onto him?
Makani leaned close to his ear, so she wouldn’t alarm the girls, “Any way to check on your sister? They were right behind us after we stopped for the pizza.”
Flynn nodded, lips pursed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to look as if he wasn’t worried. Assuming she had roaming on her phone for the US, he pressed the numbers for his sister and listened. It rang and rang.
And went to voicemail.
He glanced at Makani and shook his head, just slightly. He ended the call without leaving a message.
She raised an eyebrow but kept a straight face. “Hey, kids! Why don’t you run to the top of that hill, and bring those boxes with you? Then you slide down on the boxes. Like sleds! Go, be crazy!”
“Yeah!” The girls ran over the boxes and all grabbed for the closest one. Ashley pushed and shoved, the other two away from it, with her hands and elbows. For once, they didn’t argue, they just ran to different boxes and raced off up the hill, yelling, screaming and stepping over and on other people’s belongings.
“So that’s what the boxes were for. That’s ingenious.” Flynn watched the girls for a moment and then lowered his face to stare at his phone as if looking at it would make it ring. “You didn’t see them pulling off the road?” He asked, glancing back to the car park. “Or crashing.” Or being attacked.
“Nah, I was too busy tuning out the whining.” She watched the girls tumbling head over heels, and turned to Flynn with very real fear in her eyes, “Please tell me we aren’t stuck with these monsters?”
“I thought you liked kids?” Flynn watched Ashley pull a box away from China. “We’ll be stuck with them if a kappa ate their parents. Unless we can find their tickets and put them on the first flight back to Sydney.”
“I like kids . . . but these obviously haven’t had the benefit of a rubber slipper to their asses. I’ve got one in my bag somewhere, if they keep this up . . . ” Screaming erupted, and Makani got up to separate the oldest and youngest. She looked back towards Flynn, “I have plans for tomorrow, and they don’t include children!”
“I’m sure making them is a lot more fun,” Flynn remarked dryly. Not that he didn’t want children some day, just not these ones!
He got to his feet and looked at the car park and down the road, in the direction they’d come. He was considering called the police when he saw a white SUV turn the corner.
“Thank goodness,” he breathed. The girls’ parent’s hired, shiny SUV pulled in next to Makani’s battered jeep, looking like the vehicular equivalent of chalk and cheese. Flynn would take the jeep any day, if Makani was driving it.
Emma and Jason both looked smug as they climbed out opposite doors and started toward him.
“I’m so sorry!” Emma said, loud enough to be heard by the entire island. “With no kids in the car, we just had to stop for a quickie!”
Flynn grimaced at Emma. He couldn’t even look Jason in the eye. That was more than he ever needed to know about his sister and much more than he needed to know about his brother-in-law.
“I’m glad you’re fine.” He smiled wanly. “I think the girls might have left you some pizza.” At least there was plenty of pizza with anchovies left over.
Makani removed her hands from China’s ears, and called down the hill, “Hi! We’re just letting the girls play some of their lunch off! Lots of pizza left down there!” Makani pointedly made no move to get back down to the other adults.
“Great, I’m hungry,” Jason waddled down toward the pizza, parked himself on the grass and proceeded to eat. Emma wasn’t far behind. Apparently, anchovies weren’t an issue after all.
Flynn watched them for a moment, resigned himself to being hungry and turned toward Makani.
“I’m so sorry.” He kept his voice low. “I knew they were bad, obnoxious and lacking in sense, but this is bad, even for them. I’m sure I must be adopted. Now you know why I don’t want to go back to Australia? It’s a great place, but my family . . . ” Maybe they were just making up for all the things he’d done to embarrass them when he was younger. Maybe he was still embarrassing them. Still, he wouldn’t have ever behaved that way in front of their friends. Mostly.
Makani closed the distance between them, and kissed Flynn thoroughly, despite the chorus from the peanut gallery. She finally pulled back and said,
“If tomorrow works out, you won’t have a chance to go back for a long time.”
“Really? What’s happening tomorrow?” Flynn watched Emma laughing as the girls slid down the hill, scattering a flock of seagulls and tearing parts of the boxes. He was more than happy to let the parents take over the parenting, even if they did it from where they sat and while they ate. And with indifference.
“I have friends who own a gallery in Chinatown. They want to meet you and see some of your work. Charlie is well connected with the art scene in LA and New York, so . . . there’s a chance you might get to travel, see some more of the world.” She smiled and shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.
If she’d told him she was a three-headed alien from Mars, he couldn’t have been more surprised. Flynn’s mouth dropped open, his hazel eyes wide. “Seriously? When did you organize that?” Then, realizing that might not have sounded very grateful, he grinned, although he still looked stunned.
“I mean, thanks. A lot. That’ll be great.” He suddenly realized that he’d have to find some time after this joyful visit was over, to get some of his better work out. His mind was spinning, going through what he’d have to include and what he might add. Immediately, he dismissed the idea of using any touristy beach shots. They were overdone, and he wanted to look fresh. Not too fresh, so he’d leave out any shots of Makani’s rear.
“How’s the food in Chinatown?”
She laughed, “Depends on where you go, but there’s a lot of variety. In fact, there’s a wine bar and brasserie next to the gallery. That’s what I like. But if you can use chopsticks, I know a spot that serves real bird’s nest soup. Or shark fin! That’s good, too.”
“I’ll defer to your wisdom. Can we sneak away now?” The Terrors were playing. Their parents were stuffing their maws. No kappas or mananaggals seemed to be lurking nearby. The only threat in the park was the teenagers on skateboards with smartphones, and they were only a danger to themselves.
She looked scandalized for a moment, but then she nodded. “If you think they’ll be okay, I say we bounce. Now!”