by M. K. Easley
Umbris, whose voice had resonated around the dusky yard, fell silent. The family stood still as dusk rapidly gave way to dark, contemplating the old legend and their own triumphs and losses of the year gone by, as well as their plans for their own private rebirths in the coming year.
He placed the Yule log into the fire pit, and, with a sweep of his hand, the kindling ignited.
“We bid farewell to the old calendar year, and in doing this we banish newly developed bad habits, lingering negativity, and the personal pains we've experienced over these last twelve months.”
One by one, led by Umbris, they tossed their leaves into the fire, and Tristan hoped she'd never again experience the kind of personal pain she'd gone through just days ago. When the Yule log itself lit, Umbris held out his acorn in the palm of his hand, dropping it into the fire as he spoke once again.
“My hope for this year is peace for my family and myself, as we all embark on our new chapters and new endeavors.”
“My hope for this year is strength for my family and myself, as we all embark on our new chapters and new endeavors,” Sol said next, exchanging a nod with Umbris and releasing her acorn.
“This year, I resolve to work on my sense of responsibility, to my family, our community, and myself,” Evander said next, tossing his acorn into the flames.
“My resolution this year is to stand firm in what I know is right, no matter the personal cost, for the betterment of my family, our community, our society, and myself.” Olivia, her chin set, threw in her acorn.
“My resolution this year is to work on my fearlessness, following in the footsteps of the examples I've had in my family and the community.” Tristan was the last one to sacrifice her acorn, and, once she had, Olivia grinned at everyone.
“Let's do this.”
The five of them launched into a terrible rendition of Deck the Halls, not one of them able to carry a tune in a bucket, and finished the song through peals of laughter. When Tristan and her siblings were young, Sol and Umbris had tried to lead them through a reverent version of the carol, but the children had been unable to marry the solemnity of the Yule log ritual and the absurdity of their singing of what had become a commercial carol, so it had quickly devolved into an ice breaker of sorts, or a signal that the reverent observation of solstice was ending, and the rest of the evening would be enjoyed in relaxation, ordering in Chinese food -- another absurdly out of place yet favorite ritual -- and eating by the light of their unity candle.
When Umbris had extinguished the fire and scooped the new remnants into the tin box, the five of them headed inside the house to get their dinner order going. While they waited for the delivery, Tristan cleared the dining room table and helped Sol set out five red candles, the fat white unity candle, and five long matchsticks.
The food arrived and Umbris plated all of it, Olivia and Evander helping him bring it into the dining room, where they set it at the other end of the long table. Evander hit the lights, plunging them into darkness, and they joined Tristan and Sol, taking their seats in front of the circle of red candles. In the middle of the circle was the unity candle, brand new each year.
“We light these candles as individuals to acknowledge the path of rebirth each of us must ultimately walk alone. We understand that the light symbolizes our internal light that guides our way, protecting us against outside influences and temptations, as well as the sun, the most important source to life on Earth. We also light them in the presence of each other, to symbolize that we are never far from each other be it in spirit or in body, and as a symbol of the support we offer each other unconditionally and unwaveringly as we walk our individual paths.”
Umbris nodded, and one by one they lit their candles. He nodded again, and they blew them out, sitting for a moment in the silent darkness.
“And now we light this unity candle to acknowledge the strength and bond of our family unit. We ask that blessings abound for us this coming year, in exchange for thankful and complete devotion to the universe and its abundant gifts. With this lighting, we resolve to keep our bond the priority above all other bonds, and we affirm our obligations of loyalty and honesty to each other.”
Umbris nodded again, and the matchsticks lit in unison. The five of them joined their sticks at the wick of the unity candle, which blazed proudly to life. They smiled at each other.
“The light of renewal remains in our hearts. Happy Solstice, everyone.”
“Happy Solstice.”
Umbris stood, waving his hand, and several ivory candles around the room lit themselves, affording them enough light by which to eat. Everyone grabbed their plates and sat back down, talking happily in the glow of the candlelight.
It had been a long day, introspection more tiring than Tristan remembered, and she went up to her bedroom shortly after dinner. She laid on her bed and grabbed her phone from her nightstand, finding a handful of texts from Beckett waiting for her.
Thinking about you.
Still thinking about you.
Guess what I'm doing? ….Thinking about you.
Now I'm thinking about your phone. Is this your number, Tristan Wallace? I'm gonna be so embarrassed if it's not.
Just kidding, I know it's your number.
I miss you.
Tristan smiled, composing a message back to Beckett.
Were you thinking about me today, by any chance?
Nope. The response came immediately, and Tristan laughed.
I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you. We have a “no electronics on the first day of winter” rule. Family day.
How was your family day?
Really, really nice. Really, really tiring. How was your day?
Really really boring. Except for the parts I was thinking about you. Still not sleeping?
You're sweet. I'll be happy to see you tomorrow. And no, not really.
You could come sleep here.
Don't tempt me, Beckett Benson. I'm getting desperate. Hey, you never did tell me your middle name.
And I never will. Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow at 7 AM.
...Just kidding. Let me know when you want me to come over tomorrow. I'll be done at the library before 12.
I will. Goodnight Beckett.
Goodnight Tristan.
Tristan smiled again, switching off her phone and holding it to her chest. She stared up at her mobile, her heart full to the brim. So much had happened in the last few days after seventeen and a half years of not a whole lot happening, and her head was spinning in the best way.
Tristan must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing she knew, she was in the woods. It was dark, and she was alone, heading through thick underbrush and dense trees to a destination she couldn't see quite yet.
Eventually, the trees thinned and she stepped onto a dirt pathway. She looked down, jolting in surprise when she saw she was wearing a wedding dress. It was jet black, a ball gown with a long, tiered skirt and a heavily beaded bodice. Her hair was twisted back into an intricate updo, soft tendrils framing her face, on which Tristan could feel makeup had been layered. A black lace veil brushed her bare shoulders like ghostly hands, and she lifted the skirt of her dress, revealing black satin ballet slippers. On her left hand sat a ring of diamonds, a square stone sitting high and proud in the middle. Her fingernails were glossy, jet black in the moonlight.
A fog rolled in, overtaking the pathway and the forest around her, everything cast in misty gray. Still, Tristan walked, intuitively knowing where to step. As she rounded a corner, she came upon a gathering. This gathering was different, however, in that the community members were already seated on the worshipping pillows, which had been separated to form a long, narrow aisle. Everyone, dressed in black hooded robes, had their heads bent downward, and no one moved when Tristan came to a stop at the end of the aisle. Tearing her eyes from the eerie sight, Tristan looked up, noticing that at the head of the clearing, in front of a grand ivory altar, Celes stood waiting for her. Pele stood with him, he
r hands clasped in front of her over a small black leather book, black hood pulled so that only her grim, angular face showed. Tristan's family was nowhere to be found, nor was Celes’s, but Tristan figured they were probably in the front, heads bent like the other worshippers.
Tristan walked forward, locking eyes with Celes, which triggered a cavalcade of memories to play in her mind, sped up like someone had hit the fast forward button on her. The two of them in the car, windows open, hair blowing around as they laughed about something together. On a beach at sunrise, Celes spinning her around in his arms. On a green couch she somehow knew was theirs, snuggled together in front of a roaring fireplace. And then more intimate memories -- Celes lifting her onto a kitchen counter so she'd be as tall as him, kissing her once she was seated. Tristan poking her head out of a blue and white polka dotted shower curtain and Celes kissing her before leaving the bathroom. Tristan, in black lingerie, sitting in a shirtless Celes’s lap as he--
Her face flamed, and Tristan could swear Celes smirked at her from where he stood, just ten feet away now, waiting for her. He wore a black tuxedo with a black shirt and tie, and his hair was styled back away from his handsome face. Tristan reached him, coming to a stop before him, and Celes looked at her, his expression guarded now, which was strange.
“Trinity Wallace,” Pele spoke, and Tristan looked over at her. “What say you to the accusations that have been brought forth before us today, that you have betrayed the community, sullied your family's name, and destroyed the sacred bond of trust between you and your intended spouse, Celes Crenshaw?”
“What?” Tristan asked, swallowing hard as panic rose like bile in her throat. The fog had begun to roll into the clearing, and Pele’s voice was as hard as her eyes. “This is my wedding, why are you doing this?”
“This is not your wedding. This is your trial.”
“But…” Tristan looked at Celes, who had disappeared. In his place was Orion, and fear like she'd never known gripped Tristan's heart as she gasped, stumbling back a few steps. She looked at Pele in a panic, only to find the altar behind her had also disappeared, in its place two large, hooded guards, faces obscured. Tristan looked down to find her beautiful ensemble had been replaced by a long, plain black T-shirt, sleeveless and shapeless and reaching her knees, and her hair hung loose and limp around her shoulders. She wore no shoes, and her feet were filthy, her legs scratched and muddy, thin bands of blood mixing with the dirt. Instinctively, she knew she'd been running from just this, but had been lured in and trapped by Celes's manipulation of reality.
Tristan looked at the worshippers, who were now standing, staring at her, waiting to see what happened next. Her family was crying, and Celes stood near them with his arms folded, looking conflicted.
“What did you do?” Tristan whispered to Celes in horror. He looked away.
“This is about what you did,” Orion said, his voice as chilling as ever. “This is about the double life you've been leading, as though you'd never be caught.”
“Double life? What are you talking about?” Tristan cried, bewildered.
Orion lifted his arm, and in the air above the heads of everyone at the gathering, Tristan's sins played out for all to see. Tristan, accepting her role in the community at the acceptance ceremony after she'd graduated high school. Accepting Celes’s formal proposal. Moving into a small, charming house with Celes. Waiting until he left for work and making a phone call. Opening the front door to find Beckett waiting to come in.
Tristan covered her mouth as it went on.
Pulling Beckett inside and embracing him. Kissing him. Leading him up the stairs. Tristan pressing a kiss to a jagged, dark red scar on the front of Beckett’s bare right shoulder, her own shoulders bare. Greeting Celes with a kiss at the end of his work day. Going out to dinner with Celes, only to find Beckett's eyes across the room as he dined at the same restaurant.
Tristan's heart was all ache as she watched herself with the two men -- the one she'd been chosen for, and the one she'd been meant for. She'd never wanted to hurt Celes this way; why had she joined the community? When had she started sneaking around with Beckett? She couldn't remember anything, yet the memories playing in the air rang true all the same.
“I told you I loved you then and nothing has changed,” Beckett's voice filled the clearing, and Tristan jumped, looking up as this last memory played with sound. She knew she didn't have to look, however, as this one, this memory, was pressed indelibly into her very soul.
This had just happened, maybe mere days ago. She and Beckett had gotten caught in the rain in Tristan's private spot by the river, and Beckett had pulled her close, not caring that they were getting soaked.
“How many times can I beg you to leave him, Tristan? Please. Please come with me. We'll leave town, get the hell out of this state, we'll start over together. Say you will.” Beckett had rested his forehead against hers, his thumbs stroking either side of her face, his voice a whisper under the weight of his emotion. “Tristan, say you will.”
“I will,” Tristan had whispered back, and it was those words now that echoed in the clearing as the memory dissipated, the gathered community murmuring amongst themselves.
“This isn't fair,” Tristan said, beyond humiliated, her teeth clenched. “Why do I have to publicly atone for my sins? I've broken no laws. Why don't we play yours next? Or Celes’s? Or anyone here's? Everyone is guilty of something!”
“Silence.” Orion waved his hand, and Tristan could no longer speak. She stared at him, hatred burning in her eyes, which were already sore from crying. A strange sensation washed over her, but as quickly as it had come, it had gone.
Orion turned to the community.
“Do you hear her? She speaks in threats and nonsense! She shows no remorse and claims she's broken no laws. She's a liar and a traitor down to the very fibers of this community, and there's no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't stripped her of her powers just now, she'd try to use them against us all! She stood before all of us one year ago and pledged her allegiance to this community, to you, and ran off almost immediately to maintain her sex life with a commoner, with whom she was planning to abandon this life, as you just heard.”
Stripped her of her powers? That was what she'd felt just now? Tristan looked around desperately, but Pele had vanished and now it was just her against Orion. Powerless. An impossible imbalance. Where were the other Elders? Why was Orion alone running this show? Would it even matter if the rest of the committee was anywhere to be found?
Orion turned to Celes.
“Celes. You did good work, harvesting this evidence and keeping Trinity's suspicions low over the last six months. On behalf of the Elders and all of us in this community, please accept our apology that your plotted life has gone wayward. We will find you a new arrangement as soon as we can.”
Celes nodded, and Olivia looked over at him, loathing all over her face.
“How could you do this to her? To us? To me? All because she hurt your little feelings?”
“Silence!” Orion snapped, lifting his hand, but Sol lifted hers, too, and Olivia shot Orion a smug look as Sol blocked him.
Tristan looked at her parents, who would not look at her, which cut as deep as any knife. Why wouldn't they look at her? Did they agree with all of this? Did they know there was no way out for her, and it was too painful to watch? Had they known, warned her away from Beckett, and she'd ignored them?
Celes was looking at Olivia, anguish on his face, and Tristan thought her brain might explode. He was in love with her sister, it was as plain as day, yet Tristan was on trial for betraying him.
“There is a difference between thought and action,” Orion said, slowly approaching Tristan. “And that difference is law. You would have been protected if you'd just rejected the community the way you'd planned, if you hadn't done what you thought was right though it wasn't what you wanted, but you didn't. You accepted your role here and with it you accepted the consequences of any law you'd go on to bre
ak, and the law against deflecting after accepting stands.”
Tristan was either going to throw up or pass out, maybe both.
“She was forced into accepting and you know it!” Olivia yelled, bless her feisty soul. “And then our Dad went back on his word to our Mom and he changed Tristan's path to make joining the community seem like the best option and-- no! She deserves to know this, everyone does! Ember!”
Tristan looked around Orion to see Olivia struggling against Umbris, who was trying to lead her away, hand over her mouth.
Evander, hesitating only a moment, grabbed Umbris’s arm, stopping him. He pulled Olivia easily out of Umbris’s grasp and Olivia fought her way back to the front of the clearing while Evander blocked Umbris’s way.
“Is it true?” Sol asked, turning to Umbris, whose face was gray. “You changed her course? You said she agreed that your decision was for the best. You… You lied? You broke your vow?”
“Save your family turmoil for the privacy of your home,” Orion commanded. “It doesn't matter here. Regardless of the specifics, Trinity accepted into the community and broke the law. That's clear if nothing else is.”
“I'll never forgive you for this,” Olivia told Celes, taking a step toward him. “This has undone everything you've ever said to me, every tie that has ever bound us.”
“What say you?” Orion asked Tristan, who knew she was going to die as sure as she knew anything.
“I'm only sorry that my family has to see this,” Tristan said clearly, and the community gasped. She looked at Sol, who was finally looking at her, the pain on her face nearly unbearable. “You should go. You don't have to watch history repeat itself. Take Oceana and Ember and go.”