I picked up my pace, edging around an elderly man whose lopsided gait wasn’t improved by the wooden cane he heavily leaned upon. And my steps slowed. A man stood under the arched stoop of the apartments. Instinctually, I knew it was Nor. It could’ve been the way he leaned against the stained stone, one side of his mouth curled in a smirk as he eyed those on the sidewalk. It might’ve been the tankard he held in a large hand, his knuckles split open and an angry shade of crimson. Perhaps it was the untucked, vivid blue shirt that he’d left open at the neck to form a deep vee that revealed the hair on his chest.
Or it could’ve been the fair-haired woman who stood beside him. It wasn’t the low-cut gown or the black corset cinched impossibly tight beneath her breasts, nor was it the slits in the skirt of the gown that exposed the garter that encircled her upper thigh like a ring of blood. It was the swollen bottom lip and the blackened eye poorly concealed with paint.
The woman’s gaze flicked to me. Her eyes were empty, but she stiffened as I neared.
“Excuse me?” I called out.
Nor’s head slowly swung in my direction as he lifted the tankard to his mouth, his dark hair slicked back from a face that could’ve been handsome at one time. His complexion now looked ruddy, his features too sharp. His bloodshot gaze crawled over me, even though he couldn’t see much under the cape and hood. “Yeah?”
“I’m here to see a man named Nor.” I kept my voice low and soft, unsure as I slipped into the role of someone else.
He took another swig from his cup. Liquid glistened on his lips and the several days’ worth of stubble under his chin. “Why ya lookin’ to see the man?” He chuckled smugly as if he’d said something clever.
I spared the woman a glance. She twitched nervously beside him as she stared at the street. “I…I was told that he could help me find employment.”
“Were ya, now?” Nor lowered his cup, eyes narrowing. “Who told ya that, girlie?”
“The man at the pub, just down the street.” I glanced over my shoulder and then stepped onto the stoop. I reached up, lifting the hood. “When I asked if he was hiring or knew of anyone, he said you might be.”
Nor let out a low whistle as he eyed my features. “I’m always hirin’, girlie, but I ain’t lookin’ for pretty things like you to sweep floors and serve drinks. Am I, Molly-girl?”
The woman beside him shook her head. “No.”
His head shot in her direction. “No, what?”
Molly’s already pale skin lightened even further. “No, sir.”
“Yeah, that’s a good girlie.” Nor reached over, pinching her. He laughed when she squeaked, and the anger in my blood grew to a song.
“I know,” I said, reaching up to toy with the button on my cape. The movement parted the folds, exposing the upper part of my gown. “I know what kind of work.” I moved my fingers to the laces. “I was hoping we could speak in private and reach an agreement.”
“An agreement?” Nor’s interest returned to me, his dark eyes lit. “Gods be good to ya, girlie.” His gaze followed my fingers over the swells above the lace as if they were leading him to his next full tankard. “Like I said, I’m always hirin’, but I don’t hire just any girlie.”
I seriously doubted that.
He pushed off the wall hips-first, dragging a hand through his oily hair. “I got to make sure ya be worth hirin’.”
“Of course.” I smiled at him.
“Gods be good to me, then,” he murmured, licking his lower lip. Coins jangled from the pouch secured to his hip as he turned. “Then step into my private office so we can reach an agreement.”
Molly turned, her misshapen lips opening as if she wished to speak. Those flat eyes met mine, and she gave a slight shake of her head. All I could do was smile at her as I stepped into the alcove. She clamped her mouth shut, wincing, and then refocused on the street as Nor pushed the door open with one meaty hand.
A hand I had no doubt had left those bruises on Molly’s face.
Nor held the door open for me, bowing and extending an arm. Liquid sloshed over the rim of his tankard, splashing onto the already sticky wood floors. I stepped inside. The smell of sweat and the heavy, sweet smell of White Horse smoke lingered in the air of the candlelit chamber. I looked around quickly, gaze slipping over settees draped with dark cloth. Several pipes lay atop a coffee table cluttered with empty cups. White powder dusted nearly the entire surface. Surprisingly, there was a desk. Flames flickered weakly from the gas lamp sitting on the corner, a spark or two from slips of parchment…and more cups.
The door closed behind me. The turn of the lock was a soft click. My eyes lifted from the desk.
“Boy,” Nor barked. “I know ya in here.”
The child rose from behind the desk like one of the spirits in the Dark Elms, silent and pale. He was young. Couldn’t be more than five or six. His dark hair fell against sunken cheeks. The only color there was the purplish-blue bruise along the curve of his soft jaw. His wide, round eyes were nearly as empty as Molly’s had been.
My fingers dug into the lace, tearing it.
“There ya are.” Nor staggered past me, placing his cup on the parchment. “Get ya self busy somewhere else,” he ordered. “I got business to deal in.”
The little boy scurried around the desk, heading for the door without looking once in my direction. If he went outside—
“Not there, boy. Ya know better.” Nor snapped his fingers and pointed to a narrow, dark hall. “Get to bed while there’s one empty, and don’t go runnin’ off like ya did last time.”
The child wheeled around with surprising speed, disappearing into the hall. A door clapped shut. I truly hoped the child stayed there, but I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Which meant, I didn’t have a lot of time to get to him.
“Godsdamn kids,” Nor muttered. “Ya got any?”
“No.”
“Didn’t think so. I got two of ‘em. Or did.” He laughed as he dragged what sounded like a chair across the floor.
“Did?” I questioned.
“Yeah, my girlie went and got herself into some trouble, I imagine. Probably that damn mouth of hers. She never learned how to use it right. Just like her mother didn’t know.” Another laugh, thick and wet. “How old are ya?”
I turned to Nor, brushing the cape so the halves rested over my shoulders. “Does it matter?”
His eyes fixed on the only enticing part about the gown. “Nah, girlie. It don’t.” Nor sat down in the chair, spreading his legs. “Ya lookin’ fresh. I bettin’ you were some Lord’s fancy little plaything. He get tired of ya?”
“I was.” Ducking my chin, I smiled coyly. “But his wife…”
He snickered. “Ya ain’t gotta worry about no wives ‘round here.” Eyeing me, his hand slid below his waist. “Ya sure are a pretty girlie.”
I stood still, no longer acting like someone else but becoming nothing. No one. Not something beautiful and powerful. It was like donning that veil as he spewed vulgarity and decay. I wasn’t me. I became this thing that had been groomed into a submissive, moldable creature. One that could be shaped into whatever the Primal of Death desired, what he might fall in love with. A servant. A wife. A warm, soft body. A killer. And this disgusting excuse for a man looked at me as if he could sculpt me into one of his girlies.
“Don’t be nervous.” Nor patted his knee. “I work out the best agreements when I got a pretty girlie in my lap.”
“I’m not nervous.” I wasn’t. I felt absolutely nothing but disgust and anger, and those feelings didn’t even run deep enough to speed up my heart rate or pulse. I think I only felt them because I believed I should feel something when I knew how this would end.
I went to him, making a mental note to scrub the soles of my boots as I climbed onto his lap, slowly lowering myself onto him.
“Damn.” His hand clasped my hip and squeezed hard. I twitched, not at the discomfort but at the contact. It was nothing like those long nights when I sought to chase aw
ay the loneliness. It was nothing like when that god had touched me. “Ya ain’t nervous.”
“No.”
“I think I’ll like ya, girlie.” Nor lifted his other hand, leaning his head back against the chair. Those broken knuckles grazed my cheek before reaching around to grasp the braid I had twisted into a bun. A fiery sting traveled across my scalp as he jerked my head back. I closed my eyes, not fighting his hold. “Now, girlie…”
If he called me girlie one more time…
“Ya got to show me why I should let ya give it to me,” he said, his breath hot against the length of my neck. “Instead of just takin’ it from ya and keepin’ ya all for myself until I get tired of ya. Then I’ll let ya make some coin off that pretty face. Maybe I’ll just do that anyway, so you better be impressin’ me.”
My eyes opened as I placed my hand on his shoulder. Fighting the burn of hair pulled too tight, I lowered my chin until his dark, rheumy eyes met mine. His face was even more flushed, with lust or maybe anger. I didn’t think this man could tell the difference between the two. “I will impress you.”
“Confident, are ya?” He licked his lips again. “I like that, girlie.”
I smiled.
Stretching so that enticing area was all he could focus on, I shifted my hips forward, drawing my right leg up. I didn’t think about the sound he made, what I felt under me, or how he smelled as I reached into the shaft of my boot with my free hand. All I needed to do was knock him out, which wouldn’t be difficult. I fully recognized I’d allowed it to get to this point. I could’ve incapacitated him the moment I knew where the child was, but I hadn’t, and I supposed that was very telling. I also supposed that I should be worried about that as my fingers curled around the hilt of the slender iron blade, and it pressed against my unmarked palm. But this male was a user and an abuser. I was willing to bet he was worse, and that Lady Sunders’ impressions were spot on about his wife. I knew this man reaching for the flap of his breeches was like the gods who’d killed those mortals. I slid the blade from my boot.
“Ya gonna get down to business?” Nor asked, and I felt a wet tongue slide against the skin of my throat—something I would absolutely never think of again. “Or am I gonna have to show ya how to do it?”
On second thought, I doubted I would worry about my actions.
I leaned back, and he let go of my hair. “I’m ready to get down to business.”
His beady gaze was still fixated on the swells of my breasts. “Then get to it.”
I got to it.
Sweeping my arm in a wide arc, I watched his eyes go wide with shock. The sharpened edge of the blade sliced deep across his throat as I jumped away from the spray of hot blood. I was fast, but I still felt it mist my chest.
Dammit.
Nor lurched to his feet, stumbling and clasping his ruined throat. Red spilled over his hands and between his fingers. His mouth opened, but nothing but a gurgle came out. Those cold, panicked eyes latched onto mine as he staggered forward, reaching out with a blood-smeared hand. I carefully stepped to the side. A heartbeat later, his body hit the dirtied floor with a fleshy thud and a jangle.
Mindful of the spreading pool of blood, I gathered my skirts and crouched. Spasms ran through him. I wiped my blade clean upon his shirt and then resheathed it in my boot. “May the Primal of Death take no mercy upon your soul.” I started to rise and then stopped. I reached to his left hip, gripping the bag of coins. I snapped the pouch free. “Thank you for this.”
Standing, I stared down at him for a few seconds as I wished away the warmth gathering in my hands, the instinctive reaction to death. I stared at his still form, ignoring the unwanted knowledge that I could undo this.
I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t even if I could allow myself to.
Turning away, I walked around the desk and entered the hall. There were only two chambers. One door had been left ajar. It was packed wall-to-wall with cots covered by dirtied linens. I turned to the other door. “Nate?” I called out quietly. “Are you in there?”
There was no answer but I did hear the soft smack of feet against the floor.
“I’m here to take you to your sister.” I buttoned my cape. “Ellie’s at the Cliffs with a lovely lady who has been taking care of her.”
A beat of silence passed, and then a small voice stated, “Ellie ain’t her full name. It’s short for her given name. What’s her given name?”
Hell.
I shook my head, partly relieved that the child wasn’t all that trusting. Ellie. What could Ellie be short for? Elizabeth? Ethel? Elena? “Eleanor?” I guessed, squeezing my eyes closed.
There was a long gap of silence and then, “Is Ellie really okay?”
I opened one eye. Maybe the gods were good to me. “Yes. She is. And I want to take you to her, but we have to leave.”
“What…what about Papa?”
Biting my lip, I looked over my shoulder to the room his papa currently bled out in. I turned back to the door. “Your papa had to…take a nap.” A nap? I cringed.
“He’ll be mad when he wakes and can’t find me,” Nate whispered through the door. “He’ll give me another shiner or worse.”
Yeah, well, he wasn’t going to be giving anyone a shiner ever again. “He won’t come after you. I promise. The Ladies of Mercy will keep you safe from him. Just like they’re keeping your sister safe.”
I heard nothing from the other side of the door, and there was a good chance I would have to kick it in. I didn’t want to traumatize the child any further, but… I stepped back.
The door cracked open, and a waifish face appeared. “I wanna see my sister.”
Relief swept through me. I smiled down at the child—a real smile, not one I’d been taught. I offered him a hand. “Then let’s go see your sister.”
Nibbling on his lip, his gaze darted back and forth between my hand and face. He came to some sort of decision and placed his hand in mine. The contact of his warm skin jarred me, but I forced myself to get over it and curled my hand around his.
I led him out of the hall and walked straight past the front chamber, not allowing him to look toward the desk. I unlocked the door and ushered him out onto the stoop.
Molly was still there, fidgeting with the laces of her corset. She turned, raising her eyebrows as she glanced between the young boy and me. Her sunken eyes lifted to mine.
I pressed the bag of coins into her hand. “I wouldn’t linger outside this door for very long,” I whispered as Nate tugged on my arm. “You understand?”
Molly’s eyes darted to the closed door behind me. “I…I understand.” Her slim fingers curled around the pouch.
“Good.” I stepped out from under the alcove into the too-bright sunlight and didn’t look back.
Not once as I led the boy away.
“I see I was correct.” Ezra noted the moment I sat across from her in the carriage after depositing the boy beside Marisol.
“About what?”
Ezra flicked a finger toward my chest. I looked down, seeing dark spots sprinkled across the freckles there. I sighed.
“Did you kill that man?”
Smoothing out the skirts of the gown, I crossed my ankles. “I believe he slipped and fell upon my blade.”
“Was it his throat that fell upon your blade?”
“Odd, right?”
“Odd, indeed.” Ezra tilted her head to the side as she stared blankly at me. “That happens quite often around you.”
“Unfortunately.” I arched a brow at my stepsister. “Men with careless fists should be more mindful of where they step.”
A faint smile appeared on Ezra’s face. “You know, you do frighten me a little.”
I turned to the carriage window as we rolled down the sunny street. “I know.”
Chapter 9
Fractured sunlight streamed through the thickly branched elms as I walked through the forest toward the lake. What I had done to Nor threatened to haunt each step. I felt not
hing with just a little bit of…something.
Something I didn’t like.
Something I didn’t want to think about.
I pictured the smile of relief on Nate’s face, how toothy and contagious it had been when he saw his sister waiting for him at the orphanage along the Cliffs of Sorrow. I tried to use that to replace the image of his father’s shocked, wide eyes. I thought of the joyous rush the boy made toward his sister. I watched through the carriage window instead of dwelling on the utter lack of remorse I felt for ending a man’s life.
Or I tried to, at least. My stomach gave another sharp twist as I passed the musky-scented wildflowers growing into thick bushes at the base of the elms. What is wrong with you? My voice echoed in my thoughts, over and over. Something had to be, right? My palms dampened, and I carefully made my way over the branches that had fallen, and the sharp rocks hidden under the foliage—hidden just like the wake of death I was leaving behind.
Something beautiful and powerful…
I didn’t feel like either of those things.
Two mortals had come for me since the night I’d failed, having learned my identity and thinking to use it to gain whatever they wanted. There were three more, including Nor, that had met death at the end of my blade. None of them were good people. They were all as unworthy as I was. Abusers. Murderers. Rapists. Death would’ve found them eventually. Five had died by my hand on the orders of my mother, and they didn’t include the Vodina Isles Lords. Fourteen. I had ended fourteen lives.
What is wrong with you?
My stomach churned again, and I blew out a ragged breath. Barely any sunlight penetrated this deep into the forest, and it was slightly cooler here, but my skin was sticky like those wood floors in that chamber. Tacky with sweat and blood. I was half tempted to pull the cape and gown off now. I could. I knew no one else would enter these woods. Everyone was afraid of the Dark Elms—even Sir Holland. But I kept my clothing on because walking in a slip or nude through the woods just seemed odd, even for me—
A_Shadow_in_the_Ember_Amazon Page 13