Ash inclined his head. “You don’t understand, Sera. The powers he stole have weakened and become nearly nonexistent, but he has not weakened. He is the oldest Primal. The most powerful. He could kill any of us. And then what? A new god can’t rise. Not without Life. That will impact the mortal realm. Your home. Nothing can be done.” He leaned toward me. “At least, that’s what I believed. My father never told me or anyone about why he made the deal. It’s been a godsdamn mystery for over two hundred years. But he had a reason.” His gaze flickered over my features. “He gave us a chance for something to be done.”
I rocked back and then forward. “Like what? What can I do with just an ember of life besides bring back the dead?” I said, and then a strangled laugh left me. “And, yes, I know that sounds impressive and all—”
“Sounds?” Saion coughed out a laugh. “It is impressive.”
“I-I know that, but how can that change anything? How can that undo what Kolis has done?”
Ash touched one of my hands, causing the familiar jolt. “What Kolis did can’t be undone, but what my father did by placing what had to be his ember of life in you? Hidden away in a mortal bloodline this whole time? He made sure there was a chance for life.”
“It’s got to be more than that,” Rhahar said, leaning against the back of his cousin’s chair. “Most of us weren’t alive when Eythos was King. Hell, some of us weren’t even alive when Eythos lived.”
Rhain and Bele lifted their hands.
“But I just don’t think what he did only means that a Primal ember of life is still in existence.” Rhahar shook his head. “It has to mean something else.”
“Agreed.” Saion eyed me.
“But what?” I looked around the room.
“That part is still a mystery.” Ash’s hand slid off mine as he leaned back. “What’s going on in your head right now?”
I laughed, eyes widening slightly. “I don’t think you really want to know.”
“I do.”
I saw Saion raise his brows in doubt. “Wait. This is your father’s ember of life. Does that somehow make us…related?”
Ash barked out a laugh. “Good gods, no. It’s not like that. It would be like taking someone’s blood. That doesn’t make you related to them.”
“Oh, thank gods. ‘Cause that would be…” I trailed off at the sight of the eager stares, hoping I would continue. I cleared my throat. “I just…I don’t know. I can’t think of what else this gift could mean. How it can help. Your father, was his soul destroyed, too?” I asked, thinking that if it hadn’t been, it could be worth the risk of contacting him, even if Ash couldn’t. Then it hit me. “If you could’ve, you would’ve had someone contact him already.”
“His soul wasn’t destroyed.” Ash’s skin had thinned as wisps of eather swirled in his eyes once more. “Kolis still retained some ember of death in him, just like my father retained some of his ember of life. Enough power for Kolis to capture and hold a soul. He has my father’s soul.”
“Gods,” I uttered, my stomach churning with nausea. I briefly closed my eyes. “Is your…is your father aware in that state?”
“I don’t believe so, but I don’t know if that is what I tell myself just to make it easier to deal,” he admitted. A moment passed, and the eather slowed in his eyes. His chest rose with a deep breath, and then he glanced over at Ector. “Now we know why the poppies came back.”
“What?” I glanced between them.
Ash’s gaze returned to me. “Remember the flower I told you about?”
“The temperamental plant that reminds you of me?” I remembered.
Rhain smothered a laugh behind his hand as Ash nodded. “It’s not like the poppies in the mortal realm. Besides their very poisonous needles, they are more red than orange, and they grow far more abundantly in Iliseeum. Gods…” He drew his thumb along his lower lip. “They haven’t grown here in hundreds of years, but a few days after your arrival, one blossomed in the Red Woods.”
I remembered seeing him then, crossing the courtyard and entering the Red Woods alone. More than once, that had been what he was checking on. “But I didn’t do anything.”
“I don’t think you had to do anything but be here,” Nektas said, rubbing a hand along Jadis’s back as she wiggled a bit in his arms. “Your presence is slowly bringing life back.”
That sounded…utterly unbelievable, but something Ash had said earlier resurfaced. “You said the effects of there being no Primal of Life was already being felt in the mortal realm.”
Ash nodded. “What you call the Rot? It’s what happened in the Shadowlands. It’s a consequence of there being no Primal of Life.”
I stared at him as my heart felt as if it stopped in my chest. There was nothing—absolutely nothing—in my head at first. I couldn’t have heard him right. Or I didn’t understand. “The Rot is a byproduct of the deal your father made with Roderick Mierel expiring.”
Ash’s brows lowered as he rested an arm on the nicked table. “That has nothing to do with the deal, Sera.”
Shock rippled through me, rocking me to my very core. “I don’t understand. It started after I was born. It appeared then, and the weather started to change. The droughts and the ice that falls from the sky. The winters—”
“The deal did have an expiration date because what my father did to the climate wasn’t natural. It couldn’t continue that way forever.” Ash’s gaze searched mine. “But all that meant is that the climate would return to its original state—more seasonal conditions like in some areas of the mortal realm. Of course, I doubt it will ever get as cold as Irelone, not where Lasania is located, but nothing too severe.”
My heart sped up. There was a buzzing in my ears. I barely heard Saion when he said, “The weather has been affected by what Kolis did. That’s why the mortal realm is seeing more extreme weather like droughts and storms. It’s a symptom of the destabilization of the balance.”
“The deal has nothing to do with the Rot?” I whispered, and Ash shook his head. I…I wanted to deny what he was saying. Believe that this was some sort of trick.
“Did you think these two things were related?” Ash asked.
A tremor started in my legs. “We knew the deal expired with my birth. That’s when the Rot showed. That’s what we’d been told, generation after generation. That the deal would end, and things would return to as they were.”
“And they did,” Ash said. “The weather changed back to its original state years ago. But as Saion explained, it’s been more extreme because of the destabilization. Every place in the mortal realm has seen strange weather patterns.”
“This Rot showing when it did sounds like a coincidence,” Rhain stated. “Or maybe it is tied to your birth and what Nyktos’ father did. Maybe the emergence of the ember of life triggered something. Why it would cause the land to sour is beyond me.”
Ash leaned toward me. “But it’s not a part of the original deal my father made. What is happening in Lasania would’ve happened even if my father hadn’t made the deal, and it will eventually spread throughout the entire mortal realm, just as it will spread in Iliseeum.”
“Actually, you know what? I think Rhain was onto something. It might have to do with the deal,” Aios said, and my head swung in her direction. Her gaze met mine. “But not in the way you might think.”
“What are you thinking?” Ash asked, looking over at the goddess.
“Maybe this Rot—this consequence of what Kolis did—has taken so long to appear because the ember of life was alive in the Mierel bloodline over the years. I mean, the mortal realm is far more vulnerable to the actions of Primals. The fallout of there being no Primal of Life should’ve been felt long before this, right?” Aios glanced around the table. There were a few nods of agreement. “That ember of life was, in a way, protected in the bloodline. Still there, but…when you were born, the ember of life entered a mortal body—a vessel so to speak—that is vulnerable and carries an expiration date.”
“You mean my d
eath,” I rasped.
Aios cringed. “Yes. Or maybe not,” she added quickly when I shuddered. “Maybe the ember of life is just weakened in a mortal body, no longer able to hold off the effects of what was done.” She sat back with a faint shrug. “Or I could be completely wrong, and everyone should just ignore me.”
“No. You may be onto something,” Ash said thoughtfully, and I thought I might be sick as his attention shifted to me. A heartbeat passed while he studied me. “What’s going on, Sera?”
I couldn’t answer.
“This is more than just a surprise to you.” Eather trickled into his irises. “You’re feeling way too much for this to be confusion surrounding some sort of misinterpretation.”
Misinterpretation? A wet-sounding laugh rattled out of me. I knew he must be picking up on my emotions, reading them, and at that moment, I couldn’t even care. I didn’t think even he could decipher exactly what I was feeling.
The tremors had made their way through my body, shaking out any chance of denial.
What everyone said made sense. The day in the Red Woods, I realized how similar the Shadowlands were to the Rot in Lasania—the gray, dead grass, the skeletons of twisted, bare limbs, and the scent of stale lilacs that permeated the ruined soil.
But that meant—oh, gods, that meant that if the deal wasn’t responsible for the Rot, there was nothing I could do. Worse yet, it would spread throughout the entire mortal realm. And if Aios was right, it was because of my birth. Because this ember was now alive in a body that would eventually give out and die, taking the ember of life with it. The clock that had been counting down this entire time wasn’t the deal coming to an end. It was me coming to an end.
I pressed a hand to my roiling stomach as I stood, no longer able to stay seated. I backed away from the table.
“Sera.” Ash turned in the chair toward me. “What’s going on?”
I shoved hair back from my face, tugging on the strands. I didn’t see Ash. I didn’t see anyone in that room. All I saw was the Coupers lying in that bed, side by side, flies swarming their bodies. And then I saw countless families like that. Hundreds of thousands. Millions. “I thought I could stop it,” I whispered, the back of my throat burning. “That’s what I spent my…my entire life on. I thought I could stop it. Everything I did. The loneliness. The fucking Veil of the Chosen. The training—the becoming nothing. The godsdamn grooming,” I dragged my hands down my face. “It was worth it. I would save my people. It didn’t matter what happened to me in the end—”
Ash was suddenly in front of me, the press of his hands cool against my cheeks. “Did you all think fulfilling the deal would somehow stop the Rot?”
Another strangled laugh left me. “No. We thought…”
Make him fall in love.
Become his weakness.
End him.
I shuddered as I felt it—that swift, acute sense of being able to truly breathe. Like I had felt when he hadn’t taken me the first night I’d been presented to him. Relief. The reason was different this time. I didn’t have to manipulate him. I didn’t have to make him fall in love with me and then hurt him—kill him.
His face came into view, the sharp angles and the hollowness under his cheekbones. The rich, reddish-brown hair and striking, swirling eyes. The features of a Primal, who was nothing like I assumed or wanted to believe. Thoughtful and kind despite all he’d lost—despite all the pain he’d felt that would’ve changed most into something of a nightmare. A man that I…that I had begun to enjoy. To care for, even before I realized who he was and we’d sat side by side at the lake. A person who made me feel like someone. Like I wasn’t a blank canvas, an empty vessel.
Someone who had only been born to kill.
I didn’t have to do what I didn’t want. And, oh gods, I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to even be capable of that. And I didn’t have to be. The relief was so all-consuming, so potent, the rush of raw emotion threatened to swallow me. The only thing that stopped it was what had the night he hadn’t claimed me.
The guilt.
The bitter, churning guilt.
Millions would still die, even if I didn’t have to take his life. That was no blessing. No real reprieve.
“Sera,” Ash whispered.
I lifted my gaze to his, my breath seizing in my chest as his thumb swept over my cheek, chasing away a tear. The whipping tendrils of eather in his ultra-bright eyes snared mine.
“I don’t think she thought becoming your Consort would save her people.” Bele’s voice was a crack, reminding me that we weren’t alone and shattering something deep in me as the wisps in Ash’s eyes stilled. “I think she learned how to end a deal in favor of the summoner.”
Ash said nothing as he stared at me. Someone cursed. I heard the scrape of chair legs over stone, and then I felt it. A tremor in Ash’s hands, and the charge of energy suddenly pouring into the chamber, crackling over my skin. I saw it. The thinning of his skin and the shadows gathering underneath.
“You believed that the future of Lasania hinged on this deal—on you fulfilling it, but not as my Consort.” His voice was so quiet, so soft it sent a chill over my skin. “Do you know how to end a deal in the favor of the summoner?”
Every part in me screamed that I should lie. A surprising dose of self-preservation kicked in. That was the smart thing to do, but I was so tired of lying. Of hiding. “I do.”
Ash inhaled sharply. Shadows peeled away from the corners of the chamber and gathered around him—around us. “Is that why you kept going back to the Shadow Temple after I refused you? Is that why you wanted to fulfill the deal you never agreed to?”
Another fissure cut through my chest. “Yes.”
Eather crackled from his eyes as light began streaking through the swirling shadows winding up his back. The breath I took formed a misty, puffy cloud in the space between us. “Your training. Your grooming.” The tips of his fangs became visible as his lips peeled back. “All of what you’ve done from the day you were born until this very moment was to become my weakness?”
Pressure clamped my chest. I couldn’t answer. It was like all the air had been sucked out of the chamber, and what was left was too cold and thick to breathe. A burn started in my core, spreading to my throat as the eather-laced shadows took shape behind him, forming wings.
I was going to die.
I knew that then as I stared into those so-very-still, dead eyes. I couldn’t even blame him for it. I stood before him because I’d planned on killing him. I’d always known my death would come at his hands or because I had ended his life.
“You,” he said, his voice a whisper of night, his hand sliding over my jaw. His palm pressed against the side of my throat. He tilted my head back, and I was no longer looking up at Ash. This was a Primal. The Primal of Death. He was Nyktos to me now. “You had to know you would not have walked away from this, even if you had succeeded. You’d be dead the moment you pulled that fucking shadowstone blade from my chest.
“Ash,” Nektas said, his voice close.
The Primal didn’t move. He didn’t blink as he stared down at me. “Does your life hold no value to you at all?”
I jolted.
“Ash,” Nektas repeated as Reaver made a soft sound.
The eather lashed through his eyes. The mass of shadows collapsed around him as he slowly lifted his hands from me. He stood there for a moment, his features far too stark, and then he took a step back.
Knees weak and heart racing, I sagged against the wall. “I…I’m—”
“Don’t you fucking apologize,” Nyktos snarled. “Don’t you dare—”
A horn blew from somewhere outside, the blast echoing through the palace. Another sounded. I jerked away from the wall. “What is that?”
“A warning.” Nyktos was already turning away from me. “We’re under siege.”
Chapter 36
“The ripple of power was felt.” Bele was on her feet.
I peeled away from the wa
ll as the rest of the gods rose. “Do you think it—do you think it’s Kolis?”
No one looked at me. Only Nektas. “He would not come himself,” he answered as Jadis lifted her head, yawning. “He would send others.”
“If he did come for you, you would get what you so desperately seek for yourself.” Nyktos looked over his shoulder. “Your death.”
My chest twisted as the iciness of his words fell upon me. They stung. There was no denying that.
“Saion—go find out what you can. I will meet you by the stables. Rhahar. Bele. Go with him. Speak no word of what you’ve learned in here. None,” Nyktos ordered. “Understood?”
The three gods obeyed, quickly leaving the room. None of them looked in my direction.
“I will take the younglings to safety.” Nektas motioned for Reaver to join him. “Just in case I was right about who has come to our shores. We will join you as soon as they’re safe.”
Nyktos nodded, his back to me as Nektas went to the door. Jadis’s head rested on her father’s shoulder, and she gave me a sleepy wave as she passed. The little wave… I didn’t know why, but it carved at my heart. The look her father sent me froze that knife in there.
I think I will call you one of my own.
I sucked in a shrill breath. I doubted Nektas felt that way now. Why would he? I came here, plotting to kill the Primal that he considered family.
Aios rose, sending a hasty look in my direction, “I’ll go check on Gemma. Make sure the sirens haven’t woken her and deal with that if they have.”
“Thank you,” Nyktos replied, taking one of the short swords from the wall. He secured it to his hip then grabbed a dagger next, sliding it into his boot. A long, sheathed sword went over his back, hilt downward.
“What are we going to do with her?”
My head jerked to Ector, who had asked the question. “I can help.”
Slowly, Nyktos faced me as Rhain’s brows flew up. There was nothing but endless coldness in his stare. I fought the urge to step away from him.
“I can.” I forced my voice steady. “I’m trained with an arrow and sword.”
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