“I’m not lying,” I swore. I wanted him to believe me. It was the truth. “I’ve never felt this either. Never.”
A muscle ticked along his jaw. “I don’t have very much control right now,” he stated thickly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
A pulse ran through him, every part of him, and I felt it deep inside me. “You don’t know that. I don’t.”
“You didn’t when you fed,” I reasoned, smoothing my thumb across his jaw. “You won’t now.”
“Your faith in me…” His hand curled into my hair. “Is admirable but reckless.”
“Your fear is misplaced,” I returned, drawing my legs up to his hips. Both of us lost our breath. Pressing my knees against his sides, I rolled him onto his back, an act that was only successful because I caught him off guard—an act that punched the air from my lungs at the exact moment it sent pleasure thundering through me as the change in position intensified the feel of him, somehow bringing him even deeper. I planted my palms on his chest, steadying myself. “But I am reckless.”
Nyktos’ answering growl spun its way around me. “Good gods…” He stared up at me as my hair slid forward, brushing his chest. The wounds were gone there, and almost completely invisible on his lower stomach.
Relief spun through me as I looked up at him. His eyes were a kaleidoscope of silver and white. His features had lost some of their sharpness, but I could still see the shadows under his skin, causing a beautiful marbling effect. I moved tentatively, rocking forward. “Is this…is this how you plan to kill me?”
“No.” I lifted until just the tip of him pressed in and then slid back down until there wasn’t an inch between us.
“You sure?” he asked. “Because I think you are.” One of his hands went to my waist. The other gathered up one side of my hair, holding it back as I rolled my hips. His heavy-hooded gaze held mine and then shifted to the mass of curls he held, before moving to my breasts and finally to where we were joined. “And I think I’m going to enjoy this manner of death.”
Heart thumping, I let my head fall back as I reached up, curling my fingers around his wrist. I drew his hand to my mouth, where I pressed a kiss to the center of his palm and then slid his hand down, over my breast. I shuddered as I rocked in a slow, torturous tempo, still dragging his questing, exploring fingers down over my belly, to where we were joined. I pressed his fingers against the tight, sensitized bundle of nerves there, crying out as a sharp curl echoed from deep inside me.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his hips rearing off the bed, lifting both of us. “You feel too good, liessa.”
Liessa.
My head snapped forward, and my eyes opened. His words, the friction of each withdrawal and subsequent return, his teasing fingers built a storm of sensations that quickly turned into a swirling knot of deep tension. I was close, my fingers spasming around his, and my nails digging into his shoulder as Nyktos followed my lead, his hips rising to meet mine. Soon, there was no real sense of rhythm as we moved against each other. It was pure instinct, driven by a shared need, one that pushed us closer and closer to an edge that I toppled over. I called out his name as the tension broke, and waves of release rippled through me. I slid forward, both hands on his chest as he thrusted faster, angled deeper. Shocks of pleasure cascaded through me when he wrapped his arms around me, pulling my chest to his. Holding me tight, he rolled me under him, his hips thrusting deeply, just once. He came, his head buried in my shoulder as he shuddered through his release.
I held him through it, running my fingers up and down his back even as sharp, swift aftershocks still rocked my body. He remained there for an indefinable amount of time, his weight braced on an arm but still heavy. It was time that I cherished—soaked in. The closeness, how we were still joined. The nothingness between us, and his scent and mine. The way I was Sera in these moments, and he was Ash to me. That was what I devoured. Greedily. Us. Because like at the lake, I knew it wouldn’t last.
And it didn’t.
Nyktos slowly lifted his head. My hands stilled on the length of powerful, corded muscles lining his back. He stared down at me. Was he counting my freckles again? Seeing if they’d mysteriously changed? Or would he kiss me? I wanted him to kiss me.
His lashes swept down, shielding his eyes, and then he rolled off me onto his back, lying beside me on the bed.
I didn’t move. Not for several minutes. I couldn’t. It took everything in me to push the knot back down my throat, to hastily stitch up the cracks racing across my chest. Had I honestly thought he’d kiss me? After what he’d learned? He wanted me—my blood and my body. He needed that as badly as I needed to know what it felt like to have him inside me. That didn’t include kissing. Kissing felt far more…intimate and forbidden now.
Swallowing through the burn, I looked over at him. He was on his back, one arm tossed above his head, and the other resting in the space between us. He wasn’t staring at the ceiling. He was looking at me.
“How?” Nyktos demanded. “How can you be so convincing?”
I tensed, thinking at first that he was talking about what we’d just shared. But then I realized that he wasn’t looking at me. He was watching, prying into me. Reading. “You’re reading my emotions.”
“All things considered, that act doesn’t even register against what you planned,” he replied. “Does it?”
“That doesn’t make it any less rude,” I retorted.
“I suppose not, but you didn’t answer my question. How are you so convincing?” Nyktos asked. “Were you also taught that?”
A wave of prickly heat washed over me. “I was not taught how to force emotion.”
One eyebrow rose. “But weren’t you? Tell me, Sera. Would that not be a part of the seduction? Of leading me to love you? To make me believe you feel something for me?”
Guilt crowded some of the anger, but not all. “First off, we didn’t know you could read emotions. If we had, then I probably would’ve been schooled on how to feel something so deeply that even I began to believe it was real.”
His eyes flared a bright silver.
“Secondly, why would I fake anything I’m feeling now? There’d be no point. It wouldn’t save my people, even if I succeeded,” I pointed out. “And, finally, need I remind you not to tell me what I’m feeling?”
Nyktos’ jaw hardened, and a long moment passed before he turned his head away.
I stared at the harsh lines of his face, fighting the urge to yell. To just scream until my throat went raw. Somehow, I managed not to. “Did you take enough blood? Honest?”
A heartbeat passed. “More than enough.”
“Good.” Tangled hair fell over my shoulders as I sat up.
He went on alert in an instant as I looked around for something to put on. The clothing was ruined, but at least all I had to do was walk through a door. I started to scoot toward the edge of the bed—
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Stopping, I looked over my shoulder. “To my bedchamber?”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“Why…wouldn’t I?” My heart tumbled. “Or am I supposed to be sent somewhere else? To those cells you referenced?” I stiffened. “If so, can I at least find some clothing you didn’t ruin?”
A strange thing happened then. He seemed to relax. And a faint grin appeared, softening the angles of his features. “Yeah, I did ruin that gown.”
I stared at him, caught between disbelief and a mess of a hundred other emotions. “I’m not sure why you’re smiling about that.”
“It will be a favorite memory for years to come.”
My eyes narrowed on him. “Well, I’m glad to hear that, but it’s not like I have a lot of clothes for someone to be tearing them off me.”
His molten silver eyes shifted to me. “You weren’t complaining when I did it,” he purred. “If I recall correctly, you were quite eager to get rid of that gown yourself.”
I was, but that
was beside the point. Was he teasing me? Or was he…? My pulse kicked up. He couldn’t be. I dared a quick peek below his waist, and a shock went through me. He was more than just semi-hard and that was…well, that was impressive. Was that a Primal thing? Muscles deep inside me clenched as I lifted my gaze back to his.
His eyes met mine and then lowered. “You are sitting next to me, gloriously naked, and I am intentionally staring.”
“I can see that,” I remarked acidly, annoyed by him… and myself, because I did nothing to shield myself from his stare. I did nothing to stop the fact that I enjoyed that he was staring.
One side of his mouth tipped up again as he drew his teeth—his fangs—over his lips. “My mark on your unmentionables is quite fascinating to me.”
I looked down and sucked in an unsteady breath at the sight of the purplish-pink patch of skin and the two puncture wounds. A bolt of sharp-edged arousal darted through me as I remembered the push of his cock and pull of his mouth. “Pervert,” I tossed out half-heartedly.
“Can’t even argue with that.” He turned his head away. “I’m not putting you in a cell.”
“You’re not?”
“Why would I?” he countered, closing his eyes. “You should rest. So should I. We need to be prepared for whatever comes next.”
Kolis.
I swallowed again, somehow forgetting about that the moment I decided to feed Nyktos.
“Rest means sleeping, Sera, which usually requires that you lay down, unless you’re able to sleep sitting up. I would find that impressive if so,” he said. “But it would also be distracting.”
I opened my mouth and found myself at a loss for words. “You want me to sleep beside you?”
“I want you to rest. If you’re beside me, I don’t have to worry about what you may or may not do.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what he was worried about me doing if I wasn’t here, but being beside him when he was in such a vulnerable state as sleep seemed like the last thing he’d want since he obviously believed that the guilt I felt wasn’t real. That my unwillingness to carry through with my duty was just pretty lies. “Are you not concerned?”
“About?”
Shaking my head, I looked away from him. “Oh, I don’t know. Me attacking you?”
Nyktos chuckled deeply.
My brows flew up. “I’m not sure why you find that suggestion funny.”
“Because it is.”
I didn’t move.
“Go to sleep, liessa.”
That word again—one I knew could no longer mean something beautiful and powerful to him. It couldn’t mean Queen. I would never be his Consort now. A word that was now a mockery. Or worse yet, never meant anything to him.
An unexpected, dark pain flared in my chest at that realization—at how much it bothered me.
Anger exploded as quickly as the hurt did. “You know what?”
He sighed. “What?”
“You can go fuck yourself.” I knew it was a childish thing to say, but whatever. I rose from the indecently large bed, making it to my knees—
Nyktos wasn’t nearly as at ease as I believed. He moved shockingly fast, one arm clamping down on my waist as his other hand curled around my chin from behind, tilting my head back. My heart stuttered at the feel of him against my backside, rigid and throbbing, his breath coasting over my ear. My heart skipped another beat because I knew how easy it would be for him to unleash his anger on me, and yet I felt no fear, only warmth.
His body felt warm.
My eyes widened as I relaxed into his hold. The chest against my shoulders, the hard stomach against my back, and the thick length of him—it was all warm.
“Do you want to know why I find your suggestion funny?” Nyktos asked before I could speak. The arm around my waist shifted, and I felt his fingers on my lower stomach—his warm fingers. “Do you?” he demanded in my silence, his thumb sweeping along my lower lip, and his other fingers inching down to the wide vee of my legs.
“No.” I wet my lips, snagged between the need to point out how he felt and an entirely different, truly inappropriately timed need. “But I’m sure you’re going to tell me. You do like to talk.”
His answering chuckle was deep and smoky, rumbling through me as his fingers wandered even lower, skimming the tight bundle of nerves. My hips twitched, and he let out another laugh, this time softer. “You do like my fingers inside you, don’t you?”
The tips of my breasts tightened when he dragged a finger over the sensitive part. This time, my hips jerked. He made a deep, rough sound, his finger sliding through the fresh wave of gathering dampness.
“I think there’s something else you like more than my fingers,” he said softly, parting the swollen flesh. “Isn’t that right?”
I rocked back against him out of reflex, my toes curling as he worked his finger inside me, and the hardness pressed against my ass. “So?” I challenged. His hips moved behind me, against me. “And you know what I think? You forgot what you were going to say.”
“Oh, trust me, liessa, I didn’t forget.” His breath coasted over the side of my neck and the bite mark there. Another bolt of awareness went through me. He continued rocking against me as his finger moved idly in and out of me—as I followed those movements, and with each pass, his cock made its way lower until I felt it bumping against his hand and me. “I was just letting you forget.”
I stilled.
Nyktos shifted then, pressing me down onto my hands and then my forearms and belly. My pulse pounded as his weight came over my back. With one hand still under my chin and the other hand still between my thighs, it forced my head back and my hips arched. His finger still moved as his thumb swirled around the apex, dragging ragged moans from me.
“It’s funny because you cannot hurt me.” That strangely warm breath of his still hovered over the mark on my throat. “You can never weaken me to the point that you’d ever be a real threat.”
My breath caught as the meaning of his words penetrated the haze of arousal. I knew what he was saying. I was no real threat because he would never love me.
And maybe it was the reckless part of me that spurred my words. Maybe it was that hurt in the center of my chest. I turned my head toward him. “You sure about that?”
The sound he made was a cross between a laugh and a growl. Then his head snapped down. I stiffened as I felt the sharp tips of his fangs on my throat, just above the marks already there. He didn’t pierce my skin, though. He just held me there as the—oh, gods—as the heated, hard length of him replaced his finger, pushing in and spreading me once more. The feel of him stole my breath. The utter, absolute dominance in how he held me there with his fangs. The unending press of him filled me with a wicked, wanton flood of heat.
There were no slow, tentative movements now. He fucked me as he pressed his fingers against me, working the bundle of nerves. Each powerful push caused his fangs to scrape my neck, but he didn’t break the skin. Not once. And, gods, I wanted him to, but there was no way for me to seize control as I had the first time. He was in total control this time, and the fighter in me, the shameless part, knew that and submitted.
And it was glorious.
Gods, he…he was a fast learner.
Nyktos’ thrusts were deep and hard, leaving no room for anything but the feel of him. His hips pumped against my backside as he kept me in that position, head tipped back, throat vulnerable, hips arched. And when I felt his thumb pressing against my lips, I opened my mouth and let him in.
And then I bit him hard.
“Fuck,” he grunted against my throat.
A throaty laugh left me as I closed my lips around his thumb, sucking on the flesh I’d bitten. Only a heartbeat later, I realized that I’d drawn blood. My shock over my actions was quickly swept aside by the swirl of tingles across my tongue, and the taste of honey but smokier. It was his blood. Not much, maybe a drop. I swallowed, shuddering at the decadent taste. I should be disturbed by the fact that I’d tast
ed his blood, but I moaned around his thumb, rocking my hips against him.
His hand came down on my ass in a light smack that sent another sinful burst of pleasure through me. “Very naughty,” he murmured.
Then he took me. He claimed me in a way I hadn’t known I wanted to be claimed. His body pounded into mine, frenzied and raw. Release hit me, sending wave after wave of pulsing and spiraling pleasure through me. I cried out as my head kicked back against his shoulder. His hand finally shifted then, thrusting the mess of curls out of my face as I shook and spasmed. He followed me over the edge with a hoarse shout, his incredibly large body shuddering all around me.
Nyktos held me there, his chest sealed to my back as his head moved. His lips touched my skin, and then I felt the kiss against the mark he’d left there. It was I who shuddered then, and I immediately knew that neither of us would ever be the same again.
Chapter 39
I woke, temples aching slightly and knowing I was alone before I even opened my eyes. It was the absence of his body wrapped around mine. We’d fallen asleep like that, on our sides, my back to his chest, and his arms folded around me.
In the quietness of his chambers, I didn’t know what to think about that—what to think about anything. Things were…well, they were a mess. Everything. From what my ancestors had learned and what was bound to happen to Lasania—all of the mortal realm and eventually Iliseeum—to Nyktos’ father being the real Primal of Life and placing the ember of life in me, the truth of Kolis, and this…this thing between Nyktos and me.
At least he’d fed. Was that why his body had felt warm? Or was it something else? I had no idea. But he apparently had no plans to lock me in a cell.
I’d understand if he did. Who wouldn’t? But I didn’t think I could take that. He was right, though. I was no real threat to him, and that had nothing to do with the pointlessness behind attempting to kill him.
Something cold pierced my chest as I turned my cheek, inhaling his scent. I opened my eyes to the bare walls. What was I going to do now? I couldn’t repair things between Nyktos and me because what was there to repair? I wasn’t even sure the Primal was capable of something like love. And I didn’t know if I was. But I…I wanted his friendship. I wanted his respect. I wanted him to be Ash, and I wanted to be Sera. But that would never happen. I couldn’t save my people.
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