No.
No.
I couldn’t believe it. Standing in front of me, looking absolutely dashing in a steel colored suit and purple tie, was none other than Michael.
The father of my child.
The man I had run out on.
My mouth opened to greet him, but what was I supposed to say? ‘Hi, sorry for bailing. How’s your life been?’. Did I even owe him an apology? Sure, I knew that I was keeping his own child a secret from him, but he didn’t. As far as he was concerned, I was just a one night stand who split.
Like really split.
“H-hi,” I managed finally. Other thoughts began to creep in over the shock. How did he find me? Had he followed me?!
I dismissed those as soon as they popped up, however. I knew that he had always been into charity and that was one of the reasons I had applied to his company. What I was looking at was just one unfortunate coincidence.
“You look well,” he said, his eyes moving like they were going to sidle along me but stopping and snapping right to my face. Not for the first time, I was grateful for my full coverage foundation, because I was definitely blushing at the thought that he knew what I looked like naked.
“Uh, thanks. You too.”
Oh God, it was awkward. So awkward. I wished the floor would just open up right below me and gobble me right up so I didn’t have to look at his stupid, handsome face and all the questions that were in those blazing green eyes of his.
It didn’t seem possible, but he had grown even more attractive. His thick, dark hair had grown out, curling slightly at the nape of his neck. His jaw was even more defined and his gaze… while it had been intense before, it seemed to cut right through me faster than ever. It was hard to believe that I was looking at a man who had ever once desired me. He was so… so… so much and I was so unimportant.
“How have you been? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He was trying his best, that much was clear. He could have come at me in a lot of different ways, but I was incredibly appreciative that he was just trying to talk to me like another human. The least I could do was pay him the same respect.
“Four years,” I answered quickly. “It will be five in in six and a half weeks.”
“Huh, you kept that close a track?”
Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I couldn’t tell him I knew because finding out I was pregnant and then having his baby was a pretty good way to bookmark time. Griffin’s birthday was coming up in a week, so that made the math super easy on my part. But I couldn’t tell Michael that.
“Well, I moved right after I, uh, left your company, so it sticks out in my mind.”
“Ah, yes. That makes sense.”
The conversation stilted and goodness, I was mortified. No one had ever told me how one acted around their incredibly hot, rich, successful and kind hook up who suddenly popped out of nowhere. Was it a class I had just missed in college?
“So…” Michael cleared his throat and I got the feeling he wasn’t used to being so off center. Well, he could join the club, because I felt like I was going to fall off my own heels at any moment. “I saw you last week.”
“You did?” I asked, heart stuttering to a stop.
He nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral, but his gaze kept shifting away from me. “You were in the park.”
The park? When had we last been to the park? My brain was so bogged down with the last-week rush of planning the benefit that I had to think for a good minute before I recalled that I had taken Griffin there as-
Oh.
Oh no.
He saw us. He saw Griffin. And although his face was politely engaged, I could feel that there was a weight behind it. Either he knew, or he suspected.
I had to fix it. I had to. As charming as the rich man in front of me was, I couldn’t risk him taking Griffin away. And I was sure that after my little runaway act, there wasn’t a single judge that would grant me custody.
What if I couldn’t see my son? What if I somehow got charged with kidnapping? Griffin was the light of my light and the thought of him made me dizzy.
“Are you alright?” Michael asked, his tone layered in concerned as his hand reached out to steady my arm. Just as big, broad and warm as I remembered it, and I had to pull myself together.
“Yes, my son and I like to go there when we get the chance. I take it you saw him?”
Michael nodded and I waited for the question to come. “Is he…”
“Tall for his age?” I finished quickly. “Yeah, in the top percentiles.”
“His father must be proud.”
I shrugged. “He’s not in the picture.”
The man stiffened and I had a choice. Either come clean or lie. It was clear he expected something. “Oh?”
I shrugged. “He was a deadbeat anyways. A rebound of a rebound that shouldn’t have gone anywhere.”
“So he was… after me?” That was a lie. There hadn’t been anyone after him, but I couldn’t say that, so I just nodded.
“I’d rather not talk about that man, if you don’t mind?”
“Of course, right. I’m being terribly rude. Apologies.” He titled his head to me and cracked a grin that was sweet and charming and uncertain all at the same time. “So, what brings you to this benefit?”
“The company that I’m working for is the one in charge, actually. It’s our first real foray into this type of thing so fingers crossed it goes well.” I held up both hands with my fingers indeed crossed and his chuckled.
“Well, I’m guessing from the faces that I’m seeing that your goals will most likely be met. Besides, I plan to make a splash myself.”
“Oh, I can’t imagine we’d have anything at our little auction that you’d want.”
I couldn’t describe what it was that changed behind his eyes in his expression, but it was definitely something. “You’d be surprised.”
Oh boy, what on earth was I supposed to say to that? Quickly I grabbed a cup and filled it with punch, half-fumbling with the empty carton as I set it down on the table.
“Punch?” I asked, handing it to him.
He took it, eyebrow raised, but without comment. The break allowed me to grab some for myself, which I anxiously gulped down.
“Look, I know this is probably inappropriate, and definitely isn’t the place. But… I need to know…” Shit! This was where it all came out didn’t it? Of all the charities in the city, why’d he have to show up at mine? “Why did you run? Did I… Did I hurt you?”
I had been prepared for a lot of different things to come out of his mouth. Accusations of me using him, lectures on how he had suffered after I left, some veiled insults. But that wasn’t it at all. And when I worked up the nerve to actually look at him, his expression was one of concern and maybe even a little fear.
He wanted to… know if he hurt me?
I chugged the remaining liquid in my drink. I couldn’t believe it. After I had left him high and dry, without a word, and he was just scared that he had been the one to do something wrong.
“No,” I breathed when I could finally get my words in order. “Not at all. You were amazing. It was amazing. I enjoyed every minute of it.”
“Then,” he licked his lips and I tried not to watch his tongue as it shuttled along. “Then why did you run?”
I suppose I did owe him a bit of an explanation.
“I’m not entirely sure. It was…a lot of things.”
“I’m game to listen to a lot of things.”
Of course, I couldn’t get off the hook that easily. “Well, I ran into a couple of coworkers in the elevator and they seemed to guess exactly what was happening. I had a long think about if I wanted to work in an office where those kinds of rumors were going around. And, to be honest, I was pretty scared.
“I’ve always been a bit of a private, rational person. Certainly not the kind that lost their virginity to the owner of their company. I didn’t know what that meant for you, I didn’t know what that meant for me, and at that
moment, the easiest thing to do was to wash my hands of everything and start over with a blank slate.”
“I suppose I can understand that.” Michael looked like he was digesting it all, his gaze beyond me. I didn’t say anything else, letting him turn all of that over and take it apart. Whatever he needed really. I was the one who had done wrong, was still doing him wrong. “I… thank you, Belle. You didn’t have to talk to me, but I appreciate that you did.”
Why was he so kind? It made me want to trust him, to reach across the space between us and tell him that he had a son who was brilliant and funny and a bit obsessed with coloring and loved using the work ‘like’ as often as possible. But I couldn’t risk it. Because it didn’t matter how nice, handsome and perfect the man seemed, because at the end of the day, he was still just a stranger and my son was the world.
“I know I didn’t handle it the best, but trust me, I’ve never regretted that my first time was with you.”
He heaved a sigh of relief and looked like he wanted to say something else, but by then a gaggle of women in very nice dresses were making their way to the refreshments table, laughing and talking about the benefit. Obviously not the best time to talk about something so personal, so instead he lifted my hand and squeezed it gently.
“Thank you, Belle. That means a lot.”
And then he was gone, slipping away around the women and leaving me to toss the empty carton away.
Well. That was not nearly as terrible as it could have been. I felt like I had a little bit of closure, even though my guilt was kind of riled up. But at the end of the day, I knew family was more important than anything else, and Griffin was my family. Even if it was tempting to think of how things might have gone differently, I wouldn’t give up any of the struggle if it meant spending less time with my son in some sort of split custody case. Because although Michael had bedded me, that didn’t mean he would ever have a relationship or marry me. What was that phrase I’d heard once?
Oh, right. Fucking a fat girl was like riding a moped. Fun, but not something to announce to the public.
No matter how charming he was, he was still a rich Adonis and I was an overweight single mom who had an okay career and barely made enough for ends to meet. We were from two different worlds.
And I was content to keep Griffin in Mine.
10
Anabelle
Our district manager finished up his speech and I couldn’t help but heave a sigh of relief. Even though I didn’t know the exact numbers, it was clear from the silly grins on all of management’s faces that we had a smashing success on their hands which meant that I was ready to go home and enjoy some rest for once.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t had fun. I had. It had been thrilling watching multiple people bid for the donated items, especially since I knew that all that money was going to several of our local domestic violence shelters. But even with all that happy, I was still in a considerable amount of pain.
My feet hurt. My back hurt. I was starting to have that uncomfortable sensation where my underwear was pinching my soft sides, and I really wanted to wash all my makeup off. I was just so tired. Really, really tired as Griffin would say.
In fact, I felt like I’d been tired for months. Maybe even years. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt fully rested and destressed. Exhaustion was my regular state of being, and I just wanted to fall face first into my mattress.
“So, it seems like tonight went well.”
This time Michael slid up beside me so I didn’t have that awkward turn-around moment. I also didn’t have an empty container of juice in my hand, so already we were off to a better start. “Yeah, it seems so.”
Although things had settled a bit between us, I still felt a bit awkward. A bit on edge. Like I was some international spy in dangerous waters and could be caught in the moment. Was it juvenile to think it was… exciting in some way? Probably.
“Well, I wish you a good night then. I’m sure you’d like to go home and peel yourself out of that.”
I nodded, smiling, trying not to think about how he had once helped me out of a similar dress the last time that we had been. Those thoughts would not go anywhere good. Especially considering my future consisted of me going home alone and then putting myself to bed, alone, and then waking up, alone. Sure, I had my son, the light of my life for all the other moments, but I couldn’t deny that maybe my little one was right.
Maybe I was a bit lonely.
“Oh, you know, I’ll just have my team of industrial construction workers to get me out of all this shapewear the moment I’m in the door.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Ugh, you’re still wearing that?”
“Well, I need it more than ever.”
“You never needed it.”
The frank way he said it, like it was just a matter of fact and not an opinion, or a hollow compliment, made my breath catch. For a brief moment, I remembered exactly how he had once looked at me, eyes on fire and full of such want that I felt completely celestial.
I had never been desired like that before and never again afterward. Which was probably a good thing because I didn’t know if I would survive it. One of the things that kept me going was staying grounded in reality with my nose to the grindstone. But it was hard to do exactly that when a single look from a man who shouldn’t even really be able to see me threatened to have me floating off into the atmosphere.
He seemed to take the little breath as a bad thing, however, and cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was probably inappropriate. I hope you know; I do absolutely wish the best for yo-”
His words cut off, but that was probably because my lips were pressed up against his, our bodies close together and my hands on his shoulders.
Oh.
Oh.
Since when had I decided to do that?
I didn’t know and I pulled back immediately, looking furtively around to make sure that no one had just seen me assault one of our patrons with my mouth. Thankfully we were standing out of the way, most of the lingering folks collecting their items downstairs or talking with each other in the sitting area.
“S-sorry!” I sputtered, feeling myself flush.
That was a real dick move on my part. I didn’t get to sleep with a guy, bail on him, keep his child a secret and then just mack on him because I was caught up in the moment. That was the epitome of selfish! Hadn’t I already done enough to him?
He didn’t say anything, and my eyes flicked up to him, expecting disgust, expecting betrayal, expecting general distance. But instead those burning green eyes of his were alight with only heated pleasure and want.
Fuck. It was just like that night we shared and my body responded instantly.
I opened my mouth to apologize some more, but the next thing I knew, his hand gripped my arms and his lips were crashing against mine and he demanded all the things from me that I had buried for so long.
It was… just so much. Heat filled me, making my skin feel like it was taut and burning, but at the same time I melted into him, taking everything that he was giving me. His tongue traced my lips for a moment before he caught my lower lip between his teeth, biting just enough to add an illicit edge of pain to the tumult already building inside of me.
I was faintly aware that I was moving backwards, and it took several moments for me to figure out why. But by the time that I had realized we were traveling, we came to a stop, the sound of a door sounded on the edge of my awareness. Pulling back from the kiss ever so slightly, I looked around.
We were in some sort of employee break room, by the look of it. And of course, none of the employees were there because they were out starting to clean up and put away the tables and chairs.
My heartbeat picked up, wondering why we were alone in a room together and what all that meant and what all I wanted it to mean, when Michael finally broke the kiss between us. I let out a bit of a whine, and he just chuckled, letting one of his hands slide along my face like he was trying to memorize me.
“If wishes were fishes,” I murmured right back, pulling him down into another kiss.
I knew he could have resisted me, if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Instead he claimed my mouth again, leading me in a dance that I had missed ever since I met him. I was well aware that I was once again being monumentally stupid, but I didn’t care.
I worked so hard, all the time. I had overcome quite a bit to end up with a good career at twenty-six and lots of chances to grow. Didn’t I deserve a little reward? Especially since Michael seemed so ready to give it.
That question and more flew from my head as his grip moved away from my arms, instead roaming over my body. They glided up my biceps, along my shoulders, down to my breasts that he cupped and put just enough pressure on to have me press up into his palms.
Quickly all of my logic, all of my responsibility faded away and it was just Michael and I, drunk on sensation and pleasure. I was lost to it all, greedy for more. Greedy for what I had been denying myself for so long.
When he released my mouth, his own lips going to the side of my neck and down to my collarbone, I couldn’t take it anymore. Before I could think it through, my mouth was opening and a single plead issued from it.
“Please,” I said, sounding wrecked. “I want you.”
“You can have whatever you want,” he practically growled, his hands going to my bottom again and hoisting me up to set me back on the counter against the wall. This time I didn’t let out a surprised yelp, but it was a close call. I had to be quiet, lest we attract attention that I didn’t want.
I was well aware of the fact that what I was doing was stupid, reckless. That I was basically repeating the same situation that had ended up with me being a single mother. Except now I was four years wiser and had an implant. So really, the only poor choice was that we were where anyone could walk in on us at any moment.
And wasn’t that an exciting thought.
Baby Daddy (Forever Daddies Book 1) Page 9