He shrugged. "I don't think he'd have any trouble talking them into hiring him, do you? He's a good detective. He could be an asset to the community—and we could make it sound like they'll lose you if they don't take him on."
"That's kind of dishonest."
"Is it? You're wasting away here on me, bud. I know I said I'd never move jobs for him, but, well, if I have to—I'll move jobs for you. It would just be nice if we didn't have to follow him every six months to somewhere new."
I stared at him, mouth going dry. "Really? You'd do that for me?"
"Partners," said Tomas firmly. "For better or worse—like being married but without the sex."
I hugged him, and hid my face against his shoulder. "I miss him so much, it's hard to breathe."
"I can tell." He patted my arm reluctantly. "I always wondered what it would be like to be that much in love. I'm not sure I could handle it."
I drew back and wiped at my eyes. "I'm gonna call him right now and tell him your idea." I hopped up.
Tomas eyed me. "Maybe call him in the morning?"
I hesitated.
He patted the couch beside him. "Come on. Popcorn and a movie. You need to get your mind off this for a little bit. You can pick the movie."
"You could read to me, if your book isn't too boring."
"Define 'boring.'"
I glanced at the cover. It was a big book, about the history of politics in Latin America in the early twentieth century.
If he could handle it, so could I. Tommy had a nice reading voice and he'd already expanded my interests quite considerably by making whatever he was studying sound fascinating.
I'd told him he could've made an amazing teacher, as long as he didn't have to stick to just one subject. He'd snorted at me, but in a flattered kind of way.
"That looks good. Do you want me to get popcorn?"
"No, I can't eat and read at the same time." He hesitated. "You can have it, though. And cocoa, if you want. I'll make it," he added hastily, before I could touch his precious kitchen.
I nodded, choking up. I was emotional at the moment, I suppose: right then it seemed like Tomas was the best partner anybody could ever have.
He gave me another pat on the shoulder. "It'll be fine. You'll see!"
I hoped he was right.
I SMELLED WOLF.
It wasn't lunch time, but Tomas encouraged me to take lots of snack breaks, so when I'd gotten restless at ten thirty in the morning, twisting around in my chair, leaning it back, fiddling with pens, he'd said without even looking up, "Why don't you go get yourself something to snack on? I'll finish this up." He'd raised his head then, looking at me, his curly hair adorably rumbled. He had such a cute, young professor vibe sometimes.
"You're a gem, Tomas."
He gave me a jaded look. "You know it."
He liked my flattery, really.
I'd headed out to the nearest restaurant, a Wendy's. It was within walking distance, so a lot of cops ate there. I didn't mind their food, but it got a little old sometimes, because we went so frequently. Still, I was starving, and some chili sounded good.
I was thinking about the chili when I opened the door and went inside. Over the smells of meat, cooking oil, various spices, fries, chili, and the faint hint of Frosties, I smelled everyone inside the building—including a wolf shifter.
I looked around right away, because there weren't many wolf shifters around here. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time one had passed through and I'd actually met them. This one was male, and nervous, and smelled a little younger than me.
I know some of that is obviously impossible to tell, but I'm actually pretty good at predicting age even just from a whiff. Sometimes people smell young. I've never been able to explain it to a non-shifter. Smell can tell a wolf something specific, but just as often it unleashes a bone-deep gut instinct, a strong hint of something you can't necessarily prove.
I looked around and found him sitting at one of the tables in the corner, watching me. He was rangy and hungry-looking, with brown hair and a medium build. He hunched at the table, nursing his Frosty, his wary eyes older than the rest of him.
I hesitated for a second. Would it be more polite to ignore him and get my food, give him his space? But something about him spelled distress to my gut instinct, and I didn't like to think of a wolf being unhappy here, in my territory.
I walked over, giving him a smile, trying not to loom. "Hi. How's it going?"
That was probably a stupid thing to say, as if I was greeting an old friend, when I'd never met the guy in my life, but I wasn't sure what to say. If we'd been in wolf form, we'd have sniffed each other. As it was, I couldn't think of something as friendly or non-threatening to do, except offer to buy him lunch.
He gave me a nod, but when I offered to buy him something, he hesitated. "I, um, ate." He indicated the Frosty.
But he smelled hungry. I stared at him for a second. "I don't mind getting you something more. I work with the cops here, and they give me extra money for food. It's not a problem—I have plenty."
I was trying to be generous, but when I said the word "cops" he startled guiltily. "The cops, huh?"
I sat down near him, cautious, trying to look friendly and not intimidating. "Yes. They're not so bad." I thought of my days as an enforcer. "Nobody hits me, calls me names, or anything like that. They feed me well and pay me well, and I have a nice partner who backs me up. Even though I'm a lone wolf, it doesn't really feel like it anymore."
He stared at me, something between disbelief and longing on his face. "You shouldn't trust strangers." He rose abruptly and walked away, trying to look arrogant and pissed off. But he hunched his shoulders, and the smell of him was distressed.
I stared after him, wondering what I'd done wrong. My mouth tasted sour. Justin would have known what to do. Or Tomas. Nolan definitely would have. Anyone but me, basically. I hadn't meant to scare the guy away.
It was no good chasing after him in the parking lot, and probably scaring him, so I let it go, but I was feeling low-spirited as I ordered. I ordered five large cups of chili, and a Frosty as well, because the travelling wolf had made it look good.
I hadn't even gotten his name.
I thought depressing thoughts about that, but the food soon cheered me up. I was almost feeling like myself again when I went back and joined Tomas.
"Get me anything?" he asked, not looking up. He was filling out paperwork very precisely. There was something beautiful about Tomas filling out paperwork; he did everything carefully, and it showed in his results. His paperwork was something you could count on.
I startled and got up again quickly. "No. I will, though. What do you want?"
He looked up at me, blinking. "Um. Don't look so guilty. I could've asked, couldn't I?" He leaned back, reaching up to rub his neck like it was starting to ache. "I don't know." He gave me a rueful smile. "It's almost lunch. Why don't I wait till then?"
I studied his face, trying to figure out if he meant that or was just being nice. He didn't smell ravenous, though, and his eyes held a quiet apology for not letting me know what he wanted sooner. "Okay." I eased back down onto my seat. It groaned loudly if I sat down too fast. I was trying to take it easy on it. I'd already broken one since our arrival. They didn't have chairs very sturdy here.
"I had chili and a Frosty," I informed him. "And I met an unfriendly wolf." I told him all about it. Of course I always told Tomas everything. Well, almost everything: I didn't share private stuff about me and Justin. That would have been too much.
"You can't make people stay and be friendly," Tomas said. "He was probably dealing with his own shit. Maybe nobody could've gotten him to chat and be friendly."
"You could have. Or Justin."
He smiled. "Justin, maybe. He'd have bullied him into it."
He gave me a taunting grin when I opened my mouth to defend Justin, daring me to get riled up. I shut my mouth again.
"But not me," said Justin. He leaned back in his chair, l
ooking wise beyond his cuteness. "If you recall, I didn't do very good about meeting and charming anyone even when it was literally my job to do so."
"You did. You charmed me."
He'd charmed a lot of other people, too, but I wasn't going to say that. I still got upset sometimes when I thought about one of the other wolves snatching him up before I could. Fortunately, that hadn't happened, but it could have. And wouldn't that have been a nightmare? Ashworth and Jenny were already picked as well, which meant I'd have been stuck with one of the bossy cops, or nobody at all. I still thought about that sometimes—how it could have gone.
Tomas smiled ruefully. "Yeah, no. You found time to walk with me, draw me out, talk about books with me. I didn't do anything, except not run."
"Some people would have run." I was a big guy; I could be intimidating, before you got to know me.
His smile was soft and fond. "No, nobody would run from you."
We talked about and worked on paperwork until lunchtime rolled around and Tomas's stomach started to rumble. I walked with him to Wendy's, even though I wasn't hungry yet.
"Maybe we'll see your wolf," he said, but I knew we wouldn't.
"SO," SAID JUSTIN, WITH something like triumph in his voice.
We'd just had sex. Currently, we were snuggling. I'd have gotten closer if I could have, but it was impossible.
"You were amazing," I told him. If he wanted compliments, I could give them.
He laughed and patted my side, then gave me another soft kiss on the mouth. Justin really did give the best kisses. "Not that. I think we need to talk."
"Do we? Now?" I was hoping to fall asleep and not move for at least an hour or so.
"It wouldn't hurt. Don't you have something to tell me?"
I looked at him; he looked at me. I was a little more awake than I'd like. If he didn't want a compliment, then...?
"About what I mean to you?" he said. "How serious this is? I know it's true, but we should still say the words."
"I love you." I'd said them before. He didn't have to ask, or—
Oh.
"I love you, too." He looked at me expectantly. "And I'd like this—our relationship—to be serious, even permanent."
"Me too," I mumbled, wanting to hide, wanting to close my eyes and not meet his gaze. It was so much more serious than he could ever know.
"And...since you're a wolf, and since commitment often has a very specific term, and meaning..."
He was prompting me. Prompting me to tell him I saw us as mates. Well, I did. I wasn't sorry about that. It was just difficult to admit out loud to him. I felt vulnerable enough about it.
His gaze grew serious, less triumphant and teasing. He said quietly, "I can see how you feel about me, Riley. I'd still like to hear it. I'd like us to be on the same page."
I nodded, feeling stupid and thick-tongued. I was afraid I would break down any second. I really, really hoped not. I might not be the toughest wolf in the world, but that was no way to act about this...
"I see us as mates," I said. "I want to—to spend forever with you."
"I thought so." He embraced me tightly. "You're not the kind of guy who does casual. You were all in from day one, weren't you?"
That was hard to say. What was day one? I knew for me it had started before we got together. I still hadn't managed to pinpoint it, though. I just hugged him back, and breathed, and hoped he wouldn't make me talk again for a while.
"There now. Was that so hard? In the spirit of honesty, there's something I need to tell you as well. I've applied for a job at your precinct. They've given me very positive feedback so far. The actual yes will be more of a formality than anything else."
I drew back enough that I could study his face. "You know that with your special power, or they said so?"
"A bit of both." He tried, and failed, to look modest. "It's simply microexpressions, but I like it when you call it my special power. Anyway, yes, they'll be hiring me before the month is out. I'm going to be here with you from now on. I don't want us to be apart either. Even if I don't go into a decline, the way Tomas swears you do—I, well, I miss you."
"Tomas talks too much."
Justin laughed, sounding surprised. "Does he? I'd have said the man reads too much. And gets protective of you far more than he needs to."
"He does need to, though."
"Well, not around me."
"No, not around you."
We went back to hugging and I started drifting towards sleep again. I felt content. He'd been right; I needed to say the words. Even if we'd both assumed them for some time, I'd needed to tell him. If it came to it, and they hesitated about hiring him, I'd have to tell the precinct, too.
He'd be staying. That was how it was going to be.
Briefly, I spared a thought to wonder if he'd be able to last at this precinct, and if so, for how long. But I let the thought fade away. Everything was so perfect. Why borrow trouble?
I slept in the arms of the man I loved: the man who was my mate.
"WE SHOULD MAKE ROOM for Justin soon," I told Tomas.
"What?"
"You know. Clear some closet space for him." I shrugged, trying to sound casual. I wasn't sure I succeeded. I was really excited about him staying, working and living here.
"Um." Tomas reached up and scratched gingerly through his dark curls. "Not sure he wants to move in with us. I sort of assumed the two of you would get a place together."
"What? No! And miss out on your breakfasts?"
"Always thinking with your stomach, I see." He chuckled, but it sounded pained. "Seriously, I can't live with you guys. It won't help. You and he need to settle in without my scrutiny. You know I get overprotective of you. I don't need to be—or feel like—the third wheel here."
"Yes, but..." I struggled to find the words. We were pack, weren't we? Shouldn't we all live together in a big happy pile? Part of me knew it didn't always work that way—for wolves or non-wolves—but I'd assumed it would, for the three of us. "What about the lease?" I said instead. "The apartment."
"I can sub-lease it till our agreement is up, and find somewhere I can afford on my own." He made it sound easy—one less objection I could count on to keep us together.
I made a sound of complaint and disagreement in my throat, and he gave me an amused look. "You need to talk this over with Justin. I'm sure he doesn't want to move into our two-bedroom place."
"But..." I sighed heavily.
"It'll feel like my territory," he said kindly. "Not yours and his. You know how self-conscious he was at first when he came to visit us there. Do you really need any extra trouble when you're just starting out? Plus he'll be starting a new job, and that's stressful enough, you know? I don't want to be the one who makes your relationship extra work."
"But we're mates. Nothing is going to change that."
"I know. But still, some situations are easier than others, and you need to consider him in this, too." When I didn't say anything for a moment, he added gently, "I'll still cook for you. Any time you want. Just come over and visit me."
I kept my mouth shut. I knew he was probably right, but it would take me time to get used to this. I'd been lonely for so long, it was hard to give up my best friend, even for my mate.
"And we'll always be together at work, won't we?" persisted Tomas. "Come on, don't tell me you want to have to keep it down in the bedroom because you know I'm next door."
I felt myself blushing hotly. Finally, a convincing argument.
Later, talking about it with Justin, it turned out Tomas was right: Justin didn't want to move in with Tomas and me. He was surprisingly tactful about it, almost regretful, and he didn't even bring up the sex argument.
In the end, since they both felt that way about it, I had to agree. I supposed I would get used to it in time.
Justin was already looking for a place for us together, but he said I could have veto power on anything I didn't like. And input, as well. My opinion, he strongly implied, mattered.<
br />
I wasn't used to that, didn't know what it would be like, in a practical way. It would be good to find out.
JUSTIN AND TOMAS WERE making an effort to get along. I knew it was for my sake. It made me sad to know they'd probably never really like each other. I liked them both so much; why couldn't they be friends as well?
Justin saw Tomas as overconfident and obnoxious in his role as my work partner and friend. Tomas saw Justin as someone who was just generally too pushy—one of those irritatingly forceful people who always get their own way. Yet, getting to know Justin better, I really didn't see him like that anymore. There had been plenty of disappointments in his life. He just hid them well.
I could understand not wanting anyone to see your vulnerable underbelly. He was letting his guard down around me enough that I understood the real him a bit better, though.
When it came down to it, he was almost as vulnerable to me as I was to him. I didn't think he could walk away any easier than I could at this point. The man had, even knowing it was probably a bad idea, gotten feelings for me even before I'd gotten them for him. He'd kept himself ruthlessly in check—aside from being a bit overprotective and involved in my life—but the feelings had been there, driving him, tormenting him. It had been especially painful for him to know I didn't see him as anything besides a busybody, interfering cop—one of the enemy. And of course I hadn't really seen him like that at all, or at least not for long.
I was glad we were finally both on the same page. I hoped we could stay there.
His work at our precinct was going well. They'd accepted him, and he was tearing through case files and consulting during interviews. He'd been hinting about being allowed to look through some cold cases, but the captain hadn't said yes yet. I think he wanted Justin to prove himself with current cases before turning him loose on the past. That, or maybe prove he could stick around. Justin's employment history did not exactly brand him as a steady bet. But he was getting a fair chance here, and he was making it work so far.
I hadn't even had to confess he was my mate to get him hired. I was glad about that; it seemed like if he got the job because of me, the other cops would never truly respect him. But I was pretty sure the captain knew what was what.
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