by Gwee Li Sui
FATHER: Dad, are you there?
YOUNGER SON: Ah Gong, isn’t that you, with the white hair?
GRANDFATHER: Yes, that’s me standing over there. Who filmed this?
YOUNGER SON: It was my teacher who showed it to us. For homework, he wanted us to write an essay about our feelings and opinions after watching this incident.
GRANDFATHER: How come I didn’t know someone was making a film of it?
DAUGHTER: Not making a film. Probably someone recorded it on their phone.
FATHER: Dad, is that really you? When was this?
GRANDFATHER: Yes, it was last year. I went to your uncle’s house, and there was a bus on a small road in front of a coffee shop. Someone’s car was parked there, blocking the narrow road. The bus driver honked his horn, but the car owner didn’t appear. Many people were standing around saying how inconsiderate it was to park like that without checking that other people could pass. Someone said he must have gone to buy something nearby and thought it was no big deal to park here for a short while, but the problem was it wasn’t just a short while.
YOUNGER SON: Ah Gong, this car owner trapped dozens of passengers on the bus and wasted their time, all for his own convenience.
DAUGHTER: Ah Gong, you seem to be saying something to them?
GRANDFATHER: I said, What was the use of them standing around talking? Words won’t move that car aside. There were so many of us. A dozen people ought to be able to shift the car.
YOUNGER SON: So it was your suggestion. Look, the car’s moving. The bus is driving past now.
OLDER BROTHER: Ah Gong, where were you? Did you help lift the car too?
GRANDFATHER: These old bones don’t have strength to move a car, only to clap my hands. You see the people by the side applauding? I’m one of them.
YOUNGER SON: So Singaporeans still have some humanity, and many people will still step up when there’s something to be done – that’s my conclusion.
GRANDFATHER: Stepping forward for a just cause is a good thing. Many values are just as strong now as in the past.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, I agree that some values will always remain the same, but others are in the process of changing – you have to admit that.
GRANDFATHER: I know what you’re going to say next.
FATHER [nudging OLDER SON]: Then don’t say it.
YOUNGER SON: Ah Gong, do you know what I’m going to say?
GRANDFATHER: Little devil, who knows what kind of evil spirits are hiding in your belly?
YOUNGER SON: I want to say something you’ve already said: Some things are changing too fast, so fast you can’t keep up with them.
GRANDFATHER: There’s nothing I can do about some changes, but there are others I really can’t stand.
YOUNGER SON: Ah Gong, you hate it when people wear black clothes during Chinese New Year. When friends of Sis came to visit, you wouldn’t let them come in if they were dressed in black. Would you still do that now?
GRANDFATHER: Do you think it’s good fortune to invite a flock of crows in during Chinese New Year? Of course, I can’t stop other people doing what they want, but I can forbid you to wear black during that time. Since when do the Chinese dress in mourning during the New Year?
YOUNGER SON: Wearing white is also considered mourning.
GRANDFATHER: You’re Chinese, so you ought to know: mourning means to wear clothes made of hemp. That’s why we have the proverb “Wear sackcloth for mourning”. Do you know it?
FATHER: That’s higher Chinese.
DAUGHTER: Ah Gong, now there are two new casinos in Singapore, and they’ve earned a lot of money for the country. You used to be very opposed to this, but now you’ve changed your mind, right?
GRANDFATHER: I had no choice. If Lee Kuan Yew was still the Prime Minister, he’d never have approved the casino licenses.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, you’ve always been against two men or two women living together, but now you know, there’s nothing to be done about that sort of thing.
GRANDFATHER: No, there’s something to be done! Men marry women, and women marry men. That’s how it’s been done for thousands of years. You can’t change it now.
FATHER: Oh, are you talking about this again? How many times must you bring up the subject?
GRANDFATHER: It doesn’t matter how many times. There’s nothing to say about this pack of arguments. Young people nowadays only care about themselves and never consider old people’s feelings.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, I could also say that old people think they’re always right and never consider young people’s feelings, can’t I? You believe that two homosexuals shouldn’t be together, but everyone has the right to pick their own lifestyle and the freedom to choose their own partner. You have to learn some tolerance.
GRANDFATHER: Have you thought about it from my point of view? How would I introduce your friend to other people?
OLDER SON: What’s so difficult about that? Just say my friend.
GRANDFATHER: A friend who lives with you?
OLDER SON: What’s wrong with that? Who says friends can’t live together?
FATHER: Ah Gong doesn’t mean simply living together.
OLDER SON: Then Ah Gong is making this more complicated than it needs to be. My friend and I both used to live in Pasir Ris, but we worked in Jurong East. To make it easier to commute to work, we rented a flat together. So, of course, we live together.
GRANDFATHER: You’ve said that you don’t want to look for a girlfriend or get married.
OLDER SON: What heavenly law have I broken by not finding a girlfriend or getting married?
GRANDFATHER: You’re my eldest grandson. If you don’t get married, I’ll have to wait for your younger brother to find a wife before this Chia family has descendants. You know the ancient saying: “There are three ways to be unfilial, and the worst is to leave no children.” If you don’t get married and have children, you’re being unfilial.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, the ancient people had their ancient standards. The thing is, we’re not ancient people!
YOUNGER SON: Our teacher told us to memorise Rules For Students. That was written by an ancient person.
DAUGHTER: We used to study the Analects. Confucius and his students said some things that made a lot of sense.
GRANDFATHER: Confucius was an ancient person – a great, ancient person. Fine, you still agree with your Ah Gong.
YOUNGER SON: Our teacher said that the ancient people weren’t always right.
DAUGHTER: Some of the things Confucius said aren’t suitable for the world of today.
GRANDFATHER: So whose side are you on?
DAUGHTER: I’m standing on the right side.
YOUNGER SON: Me too.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, I never said everything the ancient people said was wrong. I was just addressing the idea that there’s nothing worse than not having children.
GRANDFATHER: I’m not going to debate this issue with you any more. Two men can’t build a life together. If this were to happen with other people, I wouldn’t care. But, in our family, there’s no discussion.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, there’s Our Singapore Conversation going on, but we should also have a family conversation. In a conversation, the most important thing is that, when someone has something to say, you should allow him or her to say it. You can disagree with others, but it’s important to respect their right to express an opinion.
GRANDFATHER: Are you lecturing me?
FATHER: Don’t agitate your Ah Gong!
DAUGHTER AND YOUNGER SON: We didn’t!
GRANDFATHER [to Daughter]: Missy, I don’t care how many years you wait, in the end you still have to find a man to be married off to.
DAUGHTER: Married off? As if I’m some kind of goods, to be sold off!
GRANDFATHER: You know what I mean. Don’t quibble with my words – I hate when people do that.
DAUGHTER: Ah Gong, all my best friends are women, and, like me, they never wear skirts. So how?
GRANDFATHER: You see? I’m perfec
tly well, no aches and pains. So, if I die, it’s because you made me so angry.
FATHER: Dad, they’re all just joking. Don’t take them seriously.
GRANDFATHER: Everything they’ve just said is a joke?
YOUNGER SON: Not a joke, a game.
GRANDFATHER: Something as serious as creating the next generation is a game?
FATHER: Don’t agitate your Ah Gong! [Glares at his children.]
GRANDFATHER [sighs]: I’m already in my seventies. There are many things I can’t get my head around – I guess I’ll have to bring them into my coffin with me.
YOUNGER SON: Ah Gong, if there’s anything you can’t get your head around, tell us, and we might be able to help.
GRANDFATHER: I don’t understand why young people nowadays don’t like living together with their elders?
DAUGHTER: I live together with you!
YOUNGER SON: I’ve been living together with you since I was born!
GRANDFATHER: You’re both still young. If you didn’t live with your parents, where would you live? As for your brother, the minute he entered the workforce, he moved out. As if not living on your own means you haven’t grown up and don’t have freedom.
FATHER: Dad, I’ve let this go, why can’t you? He’s already twenty-six.
GRANDFATHER: It looks like, if I want a happy life, I’ll have to let everything go.
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, you should have come round to this way of thinking a long time ago.
GRANDFATHER: If I can’t let it go, you young people should be able to understand why.
FATHER: Yes, only mutual understanding can lead to mutual respect.
GRANDFATHER: Let me tell you why I’ve always hoped for the whole family to be together. Back in the day, when I first came here from our old home in Chaozhou, I lived in a small village at Changi Point surrounded by coconut trees. My father and uncle built an attap hut themselves, just as big as our house back home, with six rooms, two big halls inside and out, and courtyards in front and behind.
YOUNGER BROTHER: Wow, that’s even bigger than today’s bungalows!
DAUGHTER: It might have been big, but it was still an attap hut!
GRANDFATHER: Later, through frugal living, we saved up enough to turn the attap hut into a zinc-roofed house. That year, we celebrated our new home with firecrackers that resounded through the whole coconut grove!
YOUNGER SON: Weren’t you afraid the police would catch you for setting off so many fireworks?
FATHER: At that time, firecrackers weren’t illegal yet.
GRANDFATHER: Five years later, we suddenly got a letter from the government. The whole kampung was being turned into an industrial estate, and so we had to move into the flats they allocated to us. We watched as the house we had built with our own hands was torn apart piece by piece, and the courtyards where your dad and the neighbours played were turned into a wasteland. I couldn’t hold back my tears as I picked up our door number, 368. Even many years after we moved into our flat, I still couldn’t forget this number. Is this something I should let go of? Our home in the village had six bedrooms, four halls, and two courtyards. When you stepped outside, beneath your feet was the red earth of the kampung, and around you would be coconut groves and other zinc-roofed houses. Then we moved into a flat, three bedrooms and one hall. When I opened my door, there was a wall right there. To go out or come back was a ten-storey lift ride. When the lift broke down, I had to walk up ten floors until my bones were ready to fall apart. How can I let go?
OLDER BROTHER: Ah Gong, why can’t you let it go? How much is a zinc-roofed hut worth? This flat was only $120,000 when we bought it ten years ago, and now we could sell it for $320,000. That’s a whole two hundred thousand!
GRANDFATHER: Can two hundred thousand dollars pay for the red earth beneath my feet, the sensation of coconut groves all around me?
YOUNGER SON: We live on the twelfth storey, and, when we look out, we see more HDB blocks with blue sky and white clouds beyond them. When we look down, we see… a car park.
GRANDFATHER: Tell me, do you think I should let go of the last twenty-plus years? I hung a painting in the hall, blue sky and white clouds, coconut groves everywhere. I’ve let it go, do you understand? I placed our door number, 368, in the cupboard. This is my memory of my life with your grandma, and your father as a child. Can you feel that?
FATHER: Dad, it’s enough that I can feel it. There’s no need to force your grandchildren like that. They live in a Singapore with a booming economy. All they’ve seen since they were born is prosperity. As for our kampung life, now they’re turning it into films and TV shows, but the backdrops are all fake, they don’t look the same. We can’t go back, Dad.
GRANDFATHER: I don’t want to go back to the kampung. I just feel that, even without the kampung, we should still be able to preserve that kampung spirit of togetherness. If a family is close and close to its neighbours, then the whole village will have a tight-knit relationship.
FATHER: Dad, frankly speaking, this kind of relationship is also gone forever. But there’s an old folk’s centre downstairs. You could go there and play chess with the other elderly people, chat with them about the gossip in Sin Ming and Wanbao. That might make you less bored.
DAUGHTER: Ah Gong, you don’t go out much, but you can visit many places in the world online, and you can see what’s happening with our friends and neighbours. Could you do all this in the kampung? [She turns on the computer and brings up Facebook.] This is our neighbour May, from Block 88, and there’s her whole family…
GRANDFATHER: Ah, fat auntie! It’s been a long time. She’s as huge as a water barrel now!
DAUGHTER: I’ll show you another one. This old uncle used to live in your Changi kampung. Here’s his family picture.
GRANDFATHER: Ah, is this Tau Sar Piah?
YOUNGER SON: Tau Sar Piah?
GRANDFATHER: When we lived in the kampung, he had a stall selling tau sar piah – red bean pastries – at the village entrance. His face was flat like a tau sar piah, so that’s what we called him. Why does your computer have a picture of a tau sar piah seller’s family?
DAUGHTER: His grandson is my university classmate, Johnny.
GRANDFATHER: Jorrneee? What kind of name is that?
YOUNGER SON: It’s Johnny. Say it properly.
DAUGHTER [pointing to the photo]: That’s Johnny. Do you think he’s handsome?
GRANDFATHER: He’s handsome! Is he your boyfriend?
YOUNGER SON: Sis doesn’t like friends who are boys.
GRANDFATHER: Really?
DAUGHTER: Don’t agitate Ah Gong! [To Grandfather.] He’s just trying to make you angry.
GRANDFATHER: This woman Tau Sar Piah is hugging must be his daughter?
DAUGHTER: I don’t think Johnny has any aunts. Let me ask. [She phones and speaks to Johnny in English.] That’s his father’s second wife.
GRANDFATHER: Ah. [Looks at the screen.] When did they get married?
DAUGHTER [checking on the phone]: Last year.
GRANDFATHER: Last year? Tau Sar Piah is two years younger than me. He’d have been seventy-three last year. Remarried? How old is his wife?
DAUGHTER [on the phone]: Thirty-seven.
GRANDFATHER: Ah! Seventy-three marrying thirty-seven! [Dazed.] A forty-year difference. Is that respectable?
OLDER SON: What’s so bad about it?
GRANDFATHER: Why didn’t he tell me? We’ve been friends for many decades now.
DAUGHTER: This photo was only uploaded a few days ago. Maybe he hasn’t had a chance to tell you yet.
GRANDFATHER: He put it online for the whole world to see. Only I, his old friend, didn’t know about it.
YOUNGER SON: That’s because you’re not on Facebook!
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, what would you do if he told you?
GRANDFATHER: I’d ask him if this was appropriate. How will you introduce people to your wife? When you’re out together, she’ll be mistaken for your daughter!
OLDER SON: Ah
Gong, what does it have to do with you, how he introduces her?
FATHER [shouting]: Don’t agitate your Ah Gong!
OLDER SON: Dad, don’t get worked up, I’m very calm. When you’re talking to older folk, you have to lay out the facts and make your case. Ah Gong, age shouldn’t be an obstacle. It’s more important that both parties love each other sincerely. For example, I’m half a century younger than you, so there’s a generation gap, but a generation gap isn’t a moat. As long as there’s communication, you can get across it.
FATHER: Get to the point!
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, what I mean is, you have to respect Tau Sar Piah’s choice. His wife died more than twenty years ago, and now he’s got his second spring. We should be happy for him. Ah Gong, Grandma passed away more than a decade ago. Actually, if there was someone suitable, you might also get a second spring…
FATHER: Don’t agitate your Ah Gong!
YOUNGER SON: What does it mean to get a second spring?
GRANDFATHER: Stop it! This is none of your business!
DAUGHTER: Higher Chinese!
OLDER SON: Ah Gong, in this world, many values are in the process of changing. You can’t lock yourself away.
Daughter opens YouTube and finds a social media site with many pictures of couples with a large age difference. Everyone laughs at them.
GRANDFATHER: You’re going to kill me! [He is laughing so hard that he starts to choke.]
FATHER: I told you not to agitate your Ah Gong!
Everyone suddenly stops moving, each with a different facial expression like a movie freeze frame.
1 An affectionate term for grandfather.
விருப்பங்கள்.. திருப்பங்கள்
எழுதியவர்: ஜே.எம்.சாலி
விமலா, கல்லூரி மாணவி
சிங்காரம், விமலாவின் தந்தை
சிந்தாமணி, விமலாவின் தாய்
அருண், விமலாவின் அத்தை மகன்
பத்மா, முன்னாள் ஆசிரியை
லீ லான், சீன இளம்பெண்