by Anne Warner
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - AUNT MARY ENTHRALLED
Jack's aunt slept long and dreamlessly again. That thrice-blessed sleepwhich follows nights abroad in the metropolis.
When, toward four o'clock, Aunt Mary opened her eyes, she was at firstalmost as hazy in her conceptions as she had found herself upon theprevious day.
"I feel as if the automobile was runnin' up my back and over my head," shesaid, thoughtfully passing her hand along the machine's imaginary course.Then she rang her bell and Janice appeared from the room beyond.
"I guess you'd better give me some of that that you gave me yesterday,"the elderly lady suggested; "what do you think?"
"Yes, indeed," said Janice--and went at once and brought it in separateglasses on a tray, and mixed it by pouring, while Aunt Mary looked on withan intuitive understanding that passed instinct and bordered on a completecomprehension of things to her hitherto unknown.
"They'd ought to advertise that," she said, as she set down the emptyglass a few seconds later. "There'd be a lot of folks who'd be glad toknow there was such a thing when they first wake up mornin'safter--after--well, mornin's after anythin'. It's jus' what you want rightoff; it sort of runs through your hair and makes you begin to remember."
"Yes, ma'am," said Janice, turning to put down the tray, and then crossingthe room to seek something on the chimney-piece.
Aunt Mary gave a sudden twist,--as if the drink had infused an effervescingenergy into her frame. "Well what am I goin' to do to-day?" she asked.
"Mr. Denham has written out your engagements here," said Janice, handingher a jeweler's box as she spoke.
Aunt Mary tore off the tissue paper with trembling haste--lifted thecover--and beheld a tiny ivory and gold memoranda card.
"Well, that boy!" she ejaculated.
"Shall I read the list aloud to you?" the maid inquired.
"Yes, read it."
So Janice read the dates proposed the night before and Aunt Mary sat up inbed, held her ear-trumpet, and beamed beatifically.
"I don't believe I ever can do all that," she said when Janice paused; "Inever was one to rush around pell-mell, but I've always been a greatbeliever in lettin' other folks enjoy themselves an' I shall try not tointerfere."
Janice hung the tiny memoranda up beside its owner's watch and stood atattention for further orders.
"But I d'n know I'm sure what I can wear to-night," continued the one inbed; "you know my bonnet was run over yesterday."
"Was it?"
"Yes,--it was the most sudden thing I ever saw. I thought it was the top ofmy head at first."
"Was it spoiled?"
"Well, it wouldn't do for me again and I don't really believe it wouldeven do for Lucinda. We didn't bring it home with us anyhow an' so its nouse talkin' of it any more. I'm sure I wish I'd brought my other with me.It wasn't quite as stylish, but it set so good on my head. As it is Iain't got any bonnet to wear an' we're goin' in a box, Jack says,--I shouldhate to look wrong in a box."
"But ladies in boxes do not wear anything," cried Janice reasuringly.
Aunt Mary jumped.
"Not _anything?_"
"On their heads."
"Oh!--Well, then the bonnet half of me'll be all right, but what _shall_ Iwear on the rest of me? I don't want to look out of fashion, you know. My,but I wish I'd brought my Paisley shawl. I've got a Paisley shawl that's avery rare pattern. There's cocoanuts in the border and a twisted design ofmonkeys and their tails done in the center. An' there ain't a moth hole init--not one."
Janice looked out of the window.
"I've got a cameo pin, too," continued Aunt Mary reflectively. "My, butthat's a handsome pin, as I remember it. It's got Jupiter on it holdin' abunch of thunder and lightnin' an' receivin' the news of somebody's bein'born--I used to know the whole story. But, you see, I expected to just besittin' by Jack's bed and I never thought to bring any of those dress-upkind of things," she sighed.
Janice returned to the bed side.
"Hadn't you better begin to dress?" she howled suggestively. "They aregoing to dine here before going to the theater and dinner is ordered in anhour."
"Maybe I had," said Aunt Mary, "but--oh dear--I don't know what I _will_wear!" She began to emerge from the bedclothes as she spoke.
"How would my green plaid waist do?" she asked earnestly.
"I think it would be lovely," shrieked the maid.
"Well, shake it out then," said Aunt Mary, "it ought to be in thefashion--all the silk they put in the sleeves. An' if you'll do my hairjust as you did it yesterday--"
"Yes, I will."
Then the labor of the toilette began in good earnest, and three-quartersof an hour later Aunt Mary was done, and sitting by the window whileJanice laced her boots.
A rap sounded at the door.
"Come in," cried the maid.
It was Jack with a regular fagot of American Beauties.
"Well, Aunt Mary," he cried with his customary hearty greeting. "How!"
"How what?" asked Aunt Mary, whose knowledge of Sioux social customs hadbeen limited by the border line of New England.
Jack laughed. "How are you?" he asked in correction of his imperfectphrasing. And then he handed over the rose wood.
"I'm pretty well," said his aunt; "but, my goodness you mustn't bring meso many presents--you--"
Jack stopped her words with a kiss. "Now, Aunt Mary, don't you scold,because you're my company and I won't have it. This is my treat, and justdon't you fret. What do you say to your roses?"
Aunt Mary looked a bit uneasy.
"They're pretty big," she hesitated.
"That's the fashion," said Jack; "the longer you can buy 'em the betterthe girls like it. I tried to get you some eight feet long but they onlyhad two of that number and I wanted the whole bunch to match--"
He was interrupted by another rap on the door.
"Hallo!" he cried. "Come in."
It was Mitchell with several dozen carnations, the most brilliant yetprized--or priced.
"Well, I declare!" exclaimed Aunt Mary.
"For you, Miss Watkins," cried the newcomer, gracefully offering hishomage, "with the assurance of my sincere regret that I came on the scenetoo late to have been making a scene with you fifty years ago."
"I didn't quite catch that," said Aunt Mary, rapturously. But nevermind,--Granite, get a tin basin or suthin' for these flowers."
"Where's Burnett?" Jack asked the newcomer,--"isn't he dressed? It'sgetting late."
"He's all right," said Mitchell; "he and Clover are--here they are!"
The two came in together at that second. Clover's mustache just showedover the top of the largest bunch of violets ever constructed, and Burnettbore with assiduous care a bouquet of orchids tied with a Roman sash.
Aunt Mary leaned back and shut her eyes. If it hadn't been for her smile,they might possibly have feared for her life.
But she was only momentarily stunned by surpassing ecstasy.
"You'd better put some water in the bath-tub, Granite," she said,recovering, "nothing else will be big enough."
The four young men drew up chairs and rivalled her smiles with theirs.
"I d'n know how I ever can thank you," said the old lady warmly. "I'vealways had such a poor opinion o' life in cities, too!"
"Life in cities, my dear Miss Watkins," screamed Mitchell, "is alwayspictured as very black, but it's only owing to the soft coal--not to thepeople who burn it."
Aunt Mary smiled again.
"I guess the bath-tub will be big enough to keep 'em fresh," she saidsimply, and Mitchell gave up and dried his forehead with his handkerchief.
They dined at home upon this occasion and afterwards took two carriagesfor the theater. Aunt Mary, Jack, Clover, the American Beauties and theviolets went in the first, and what remained of the party and the floraldecorations followed in the second.
"I mean to smoke," said that part of the second load which habituallyanswered to the name of Mitchell. "There is nothing so s
oothing when youhave thorns in your legs as a cigarette in your mouth."
"Too--too;" laughed his companion. "Jimmy! but our aunt is game, isn'tshe?"
"To my order of thinking," said Mitchell thoughtfully scratching a match,"Aunt Mary has been hung up in cold storage just long enough to haveacquired the exactly proper gamey flavor. It cannot be denied that toworn, worldly, jaded mortals like you and me, the sight of fresh, everbubbling, youthful enthusiasm like hers is as thrilling and trilling andrilling as--as--as--" he paused to light his cigarette.
[Illustration 4]
Aunt Mary and Her Escorts.
"Yes, you'd better stutter," said Burnett. "I thought you were runningahead of your proper signals."
"It isn't that," said Mitchell, puffing gently. "It is that I suddenlyrecollected that I was alone with you, and my brains tell me that it is awaste of brains to use them in the sense of a plural noun with you. Theword in your company,--my dear boy--only comes to me as a verb--as an activeverb--and dear knows how often I have itched to apply it forcibly."
Then they drew up in front of the theater and saw Aunt Mary being unloadedjust beyond.
"Great Scott, I feel as if I was a part of a poster!" said Burnett, divinginto the carriage depths for the last lot of flowers.
"I feel as if I were a part of the Revelation," said Mitchell, "I mean--theRevel-eration."
They rapidly formed on somewhat after the plan of the famous "Marriageunder the Directoire." Aunt Mary commanded the center-rush, leaning onJack's arm, and the rest acted as half-backs, left wings, orflower-bearers, just as the reader prefers.
They made quite a sensation as they proceeded to their box and more yetwhen they entered it. They were late--very late--as is the privilege of allbox parties and their seating problem absorbed the audience to a degreenever seen before or since.
Jack put Aunt Mary and her green plaid waist in the middle and flanked herwith purple violets and red carnations. The ear-trumpet was laid upon theorchids just where she could reach it easily. Then her escorts tookpositions as a sort of half-moon guard behind and each held two or threeAmerican Beauties straight up and down as if they were the insignia of hisrank and office.
The effect was gorgeous. The very actors saw and were interested at once.They directed all their attention to that one box, and at the end of theact the stage manager got the writer of the topical song on the wire andhad a brand new and very apropos verse added which brought down the house.
Jack and his party caught on and clapped like mad, Aunt Mary beat thefront of the box with her ear-trumpet, and when Clover suggested that shethrow some flowers to the heroine she threw the orchids and came nearmaiming the bass viol for life. Burnett rushed out between acts and boughther a cane to pound with, Jack rushed out between more acts and bought hera pair of opera glasses, Mitchell rushed out between still further actsand procured her one of those Japanese fans which they use forfire-screens, and agitated it around her during the rest of the evening.
"Time of your life, Aunt Mary," Jack vociferated under the cover of ageneral chorus; "Time of your life!"
"Oh, my," said Aunt Mary, heaving a great sigh, "seems if I'd _die_ when Ithink of Lucinda."
They got out of the theater somewhat after eleven and Clover took them allto a French cafe for supper, so that again it was pretty well along intothe day after when Janice regained her charge.
"Granite," said Aunt Mary very solemnly, as she collapsed upon her bedtwenty minutes later yet, "put it down on that memoranda for me never tofind no fault with nothing ever again. Never--not ever--not never again."
* * * * *
The second day after was that which had been set for Mitchell's yachtingparty. They allowed a day to lapse between because a yachting party has tobegin early enough so that you can see to get on board. Mitchell wantedhis to begin early enough so that they could see the yacht too.
"A yacht, Miss Watkins," he said into the ear trumpet, "is a delight thatit takes daylight to delight in. If my words sound somewhat mixed, believeme, it is the effect of what is to come casting its shadow before. I speakwith understanding and sympathy--you will know all later."
Aunt Mary smiled sweetly. Sometimes she thought that Mitchell was thenicest of the three--times when she wasn't talking to Clover or Burnett.
Jack took his aunt out to drive on the afternoon of the intervening dayand bought her a blue suit with a red tape around one arm, and somerubbersoled shoes, and a yachting cap and a mackintosh. There wassomething touching in Aunt Mary's joyful confidence and anticipation--shehaving never been cast loose from shore in all her life.
"When do you s'pose we'll get home?" she asked Jack.
"Oh, some time toward night," he replied.
She smiled with a trust as colossal as Trusts usually are.
"I'm sure I shall have a good time," she said. "I always liked to seepictures of waves."
"You'll see the real things now, Aunt Mary," cried her nephew heartily. Hewas not a bit malicious, possessing a stomach whose equilibrium could notconceive any other anatomical condition.
Janice, however, had doubts, and on the morning of the next day her doubtsdeepened. She looked from the window and shook her head.
"Feel a fly?" inquired Aunt Mary.
"No, I see some clouds," yelled her maid.
"I didn't ask you to speak loud," said the old lady. "I always hear whatyou say. Always."
Janice went out of the room and voiced her views of the weather to theproprietors of the expedition. The proprietors were having an uproariousbreakfast on ham and eggs--all but Mitchell, who sat somewhat aloof andcontented himself with an old and reliable breakfast food long known tohis race.
"Are you really going to take her up the Sound to-day?" the maid demandedof the merry mob.
"I'm not," said Burnett; "it's the yacht that's going to take her. Passthe syrup, Jack, like the jack you are."
"Doesn't she feel well?" Jack asked, passing the syrup as requested. "Ifshe doesn't feel well, of course, we won't go."
"I like that," said Mitchell, "when it's my day for my party and my cookall provisioned with provisions for provisioning us all. How long do yousuppose ice cream stays together in this month of roses, anyhow?"
"She is very well," said the maid quietly, "but it's blowing pretty freshhere in the city and I thought that out on the Sound--"
"Blowing fresh, is it?" laughed Burnett; "well, it'll salt her fast enoughwhen we get out. Don't you fuss over what's none of your business, my deargirl; just trot along upstairs and dress dolly, and when she's dressedwe'll take her off your hands."
Jack appeared unduly quiet.
"Do you think it is going to storm?" he asked Mitchell. Mitchell wasscraping his saucer with the thrift that thrives north of the Firth ofForth and hatches yachts on the west shores of the Atlantic.
"I don't think at all during vacation," he said mildly. "I repose and reap'Oh's'--from other people."
"If there was any chance of a storm----?" said the nephew, thoughtfully.
"Fiddle-dee-dee," said Burnett impatiently, "what do you think yachts arefor, anyhow? To let alone?" He looked at the maid as he spoke and pointedsignificantly to the door. She went out at once and returned upstairs toher mistress whom she found quite restless to "get-a-goin'" as sheexpressed it.
The boxes filled with yesterday's purchases were brought out at once andJanice proceeded to rubber-sole and blue-serge Aunt Mary. The latterregarded every step of the performance in the huge three-fold cheval glasswhich had been wont to tell Mrs. Rosscott things that every woman longs toknow.
When her toilette was complete it must be admitted that as a yachtswomanAunt Mary fairly outshone her automobile portrait. She surveyed herselflong and carefully.
"I expect it'll be quite an experience," she said with many new wrinklesof anticipation.
"Yes," said Janice, with a glance at the fluttering window curtains, "Iexpect it
will be."
Aunt Mary went downstairs and was greeted with loud acclamations. Thebreakfast party broke up at once and, while Janice phoned for cabs, AuntMary's quartette of escorts sought hats, coats, etcetera. After that theyall sallied forth and took their places as joyfully as ever.
It was quite a long drive to where "Lady Belle" had been brought up, andthey had to stop once to lay in two or three pounds of current literature.
"Do you read mostly?" asked Aunt Mary.
"It's best to be on the safe side," said Clover vaguely.
Then they entered the tangle of docks and express wagons and obstacles ingeneral and Mitchell had great difficulty in finding where his launch hadbeen taken to meet them.
But at last they got Aunt Mary down a flight of very slippery steps andinto a boat whose everything was labeled "Lady Belle," and Mitchell saidsomething and they cast loose and were off.
"Seems rather a small yacht," said Aunt Mary, glancing cheerfully about."I ain't surprised that you'd rather come in nights."
"Bless your heart, Aunt Mary," shrieked Jack, "this isn't the yacht, thisis the way we get to her."
"Oh," said Aunt Mary blankly.
"That's the yacht," yelled Burnett, "that white one with the black smokecoming out and the sail up."
"What are they getting up steam for?" asked Clover. "The time to get upsteam is when you get down sails generally."
"They aren't getting up steam," said Mitchell, "they're getting up dinner.It looks like a lot of smoke because of the shadow on the sail. And,speaking of getting up dinner, reminds me that the topic before us now is,how in thunder are we to get up Aunt Mary?"
"Put a rope around her and board her as if she was a cavalry horse,"suggested Burnett.
"I scorn the suggestion," said their host; "if the worst comes to theworst I can give her a back up, but I trust that Aunt Mary will rise tothe heights of the sail and the situation all at once and not make me doany vertebratical stunts so early in the day."
They were running alongside of "Lady Belle" as he spoke, and the firstthing Aunt Mary knew she and her party were attached to the former by somemysterious and not altogether solid connection.
"What do we do now?" she asked uneasily.
"I'll show you," laughed Burnett, and seizing two flapping ropes he wentskipping up a sort of stepladder and sprang upon the deck above.
Aunt Mary started to emulate his prowess and stood up at once. But thenext second she sat down extremely hard without knowing why she had doneso.
"Hold on, Miss Watkins," Mitchell cried hastily; "just you hold on until Igive you something to hold on to, and when you've got something to hold onto, please keep holding on to it, until I tell you that the hour has comein which to let go again."
"I didn't quite catch that," said Aunt Mary, "but I'm ready to do anythin'you say if you only--" and again she sprang up and again was thrown down ashard as before.
"Look out," cried Jack, springing to her side; and he got hold of hisvaluable relative and held her fast while Mitchell grasped the ladder anda sailor strove to keep the launch still.
"Now, Aunt Mary," cried the nephew, "hang on to me and hang on to thoseropes and remember I'm right back of you--"
"My Lord alive," cried Aunt Mary, turning her gaze upwards, "am I expectedto go alone all that way to the top?"
"It'll pay you to keep on to the top," screamed Clover; "you'll have,comparatively speaking, very little fun if you hang on to the ladder allday--and you'll get so wet too."
"There's more room at the top," cried Mitchell, "there's always room atthe top, Miss Watkins. Put yourself in the place of any young man enteringa profession and struggle bravely upwards, bearing ever in--"
"Oh, I never can," said Aunt Mary, recoiling abruptly; "I never couldclimb trees when I was little--I never had no grip in my legs--and I justknow I can't. It's too high. An' it looks slippery. An' I don't want to,anyhow."
"What rot!" yelled Jack, "the very idea! Why, Aunt Mary, you know you canskin up there just like a cat if you only make up your mind to it. Here,Mitchell, give her a boost and I'll plant her feet firmly. Now--have yougot hold of the ropes, Aunt Mary?"
"Oh, mercy--on--me!" wailed Aunt Mary, "the yacht is turnin' a-round an' theharder I pull the faster it turns."
"Catch her from above, Burr," Clover called excitedly; "hook her withanything if you can't reach her with your hand."
"Oh, my cap!" shrieked poor Aunt Mary, and the cap went off and she wenton up and was landed safe above.
"How on the chart do you suppose we'll ever unload her?" Jack asked,wide-eyed, as he swung himself quickly after her.
"What man hath done man can do," quoted Mitchell sententiously, followinghis lead.
"But no man ever unloaded Aunt Mary," Clover reminded him, as they broughtup the rear.
Then they were all on deck, a chair was brought for the honored guest, andMitchell introduced his sailing-master who had been drawn to gaze upon therather novel manner in which she had been brought aboard.
"I want Miss Watkins to have the sail of her life, Renfew," said Mitchell."We aren't coming back until night."
"We'll have sail enough sure, sir," said Renfew, touching his cap, andthen he walked away and the work of starting off began. A tug had beenengaged to tow them out into the breeze and Jack thought it would be niceto show Aunt Mary around while they were being meandered through coalbarges, etc. They went below and Aunt Mary saw everything with a mostflattering interest.
"I d'n know but what I'd enjoy a little yacht of my own," she said toMitchell. "I think it's so amusin' the way everythin' turns over intosuthin' else. I suppose Joshua could learn to sail me--I wouldn't want totrust no new man, I know."
"Why, of course," said Jack, "and we could all come and visit you, AuntMary."
Aunt Mary smiled hospitably.
"I'd be glad to see you all any day," she said cordially; "and I shallhave a hole in the bottom of the boat for people to go in and out of, anda nice staircase down to it, so you needn't mind the notion of how you'llget on and off."
They all laughed and continued the tour below and Aunt Mary grew more andmore enthusiastic for quite a while. She liked the kitchen and she likedthe dining-room. She thought the arrangement for keeping the table levelmost ingenious. Mitchell took her into the main cabin and told her thatthat was hers for the day. On the dresser was a photograph of the "LadyBelle" framed in silver, which the young host presented to his guest as asouvenir of the "voyage."
Aunt Mary's pleasure was at its height. Oh, the pity of Fate which makesthe apex of everything so very limited as to standing room! Three minutesafter the presentation and acceptation of the photograph Aunt Mary'sglance became suddenly vague, and then especially piercing.
"What makes this up and down feeling?" she asked Mitchell.
"What up and down feeling?" he asked, secure in the good conscience andpure living of an oatmeal breakfast. "I don't feel up and down."
"I do," said Aunt Mary abruptly; "I want to be somewhere else."
"You want to be on deck," said Burnett, suddenly emerging from somewhere;"I know the symptoms. I always have 'em. Come on. And when we get upthere, I'll collar Jack for urging those six last griddle cakes on me thismorning."
"I ain't sure I want to be on deck," said Aunt Mary; "dear me--I feel as ifI wasn't sure of anythin'."
"What did I tell you?" said Burnett to Mitchell; "it's blowing fresh andneither she nor I ought to have come. You know me when it blows."
"Shut up," said Mitchell, hurrying Aunt Mary up the companion-way andshoving her into one chair and her feet into another; "there, MissWatkins, you're all right now, aren't you?"
"What's the matter?" said Jack, coming from somewhere aloft or astern."Heaven bless me, what ails you, Aunt Mary?"
"I don't wonder I'm pale," said Aunt Mary faintly, "oh--oh--"
"We must put our heads together," said Burnett, taking a drink from aflask that he took out of his pocket; "I must soon put my head onsomething, and
your aunt looks to me to feel the same way. Mitchell, whydid you let me forget that vow I made last time to never come again?"
"Your vows to never do things again are about as stable as your presenthold on an upright position," said Clover, laying a steadying hand uponhis friend's waveringness. "Sit down, little boy, sit down."
Burnett sat down, Mitchell smiled, Jack laughed, and Aunt Mary groaned.
The boat was rising and falling rapidly now, and as she ran further andfurther out into the ever freshening wind she kept on rising and fallingyet more rapidly. The more motion there was the more Aunt Mary seemed tosift down in her two chairs.
"We'd better put back," said Jack; "this won't do, you know. How do youfeel now, Aunt Mary?" he added, leaning over her.
Aunt Mary opened her eyes and looked at him but made no reply.
"Ask me how I feel, if you dare," said Burnett, from where his chair wasdrawn up not far away. "I couldn't kill you just now, but I will some dayI promise you."
He was very white and had a look about his mouth that showed that he meantwhat he said.
Some bells rang somewhere.
"That's dinner," exclaimed Clover.
Aunt Mary gave a piercing cry.
"Oh, take me somewhere else," she said, throwing her hands up to her face;"somewhere where there'll never be nothin' to eat again. I--I can't bear tohear about eatin'."
"I'm going to take her down into one of the cabins," said Jack hastily,"she belongs in bed."
"No, turn back the carpet and lay me in the bath-tub," almost sobbed thepoor victim. "I don't feel like I could get flat enough anywhere else."
"She has the proper spirit," said Burnett faintly, "only I don't feel asif I could get flat enough anywhere at all. What in the name of the GreatPyramid ever possessed me to come?"
Mitchell rose quickly to his feet.
"You put your aunt to bed, Jack," he said, "and I'll put my yacht tobacking. This expedition is expeditiously heading on to what might betermed a failure. I can see that, even if we're only in a Sound."
"When do you suppose we'll get back?" the nephew asked anxiously.
"About four o'clock, if we don't lose time by having to tack."
"I didn't quite catch all that," said Aunt Mary, "but I knew suthin' wasloose all along. I felt it inside of me right off at first. And eversince, too."
Jack gathered her up in his arms and bore her tenderly away to thebeautiful main cabin.
"I wanted to live to change my will," she said sadly, as he laid her down,"but somehow I don't seem to care for nothin' no more."
He kissed her hand.
"They say being seasick is awfully _good_ for people, Aunt Mary," heyelled contritely.
Aunt Mary opened her eyes.
"John Watkins, Jr., Denham," she said, "if you say 'food' to me again_ever_, I'll never leave you a penny--so there!"
Jack went away and left her.
"Come on to dinner, Burnett," Clover called hilariously, "there's liverwith little bits of bacon--your favorite dish."
Burnett snarled the weakest kind of a snarl.
"I thought I'd suffered enough for one year last month," he murmured in avoice too low to be heard, and then he knew himself to be alone on deck.
Down in the little dining-saloon the dishes were hopping merrily back andforth and an agreeable odor of agreeable viands filled the air. Clover andJack sat down opposite their host and they all three ate and drank with azest that knew no breaking waves nor sad effects.
"Here's to our aunt," said Clover gayly, as the first course went around;"of course, we all love her for Jack's sake, but at the same time I offertwo to odds that it is a pleasure to converse in under tones occasionally.Who takes?"
"Aunt Mary being laid upon her bed," said Mitchell, "we will next proceedto lay the motion of our honorable friend upon the table. We regret AuntMary's ill-health while we drink to her good--quotation marks under thelatter word. Aunt Mary!--and may she arise and prosper all the way downinto the launch again."
"I'm troubled about her, really," said Jack soberly; "we ought to havebrought someone to look out for her."
"The maid," cried Mitchell, "the dainty, adorable maid! Here's to Janiceand--" his speech was brought to a sudden end by his two guests nearlydisappearing under the table.
Jack started up.
"Ginger! Did you feel that?" he asked.
"That's nothing," said Mitchell, calmly replacing the water-carafe whichin the excitement of the moment he had clasped to his bosom; "it's thewaves which are rising to the occasion--that's all." But Jack had hurriedout.
He found poor Aunt Mary writhing in an agony of misery. "Oh--oh--" shecried, "I want to be still--I'm too much tipped--and all the wrong way! Iwant to lay smooth--and I stand on my head--all the--"
"We're going back," said Jack, striving to soothe her; "lie still, AuntMary, and we'll soon get there. Do you want some camphor to smell?"
"I don't feel up to smellin'," wailed Aunt Mary, "I don't feel up toanythin'. Go 'way. Right off."
Jack went on deck. He found Burnett stretched pale and green upon thechairs their lady guest had vacated.
"If you speak to me again," he said, in halting accents, "I'll never speakto you again. Get out."
Jack went back to his place at dinner.
"How are they?" asked Clover.
"I don't know," he said quietly, "but there's a big storm coming up. Thesky's all dark blue and it looks bad."
"I don't care," said Mitchell, sawing into the game with vigor; "if we godown we go down with Aunt Mary and if I were Uncle Mary I wouldn't feelhappier and safer as to all concerned. The ship that bore Caesar and hisfortune had nothing at all to bear compared to this which bears Jack andhis. Here's to Jack and his fortune, and may we all survive the dark bluesky."
"I tell you it's serious," said Jack. As he spoke another ominous heavingset the bottles tipping and nearly sent Clover backwards.
"And I'm serious," exclaimed Mitchell. "I'm always serious only I nevercan get any girl to believe it. Here's to me, and may I grow more and moreserious each--"
A tremendous wave bore the yacht upright and then let her fall on herforelegs again. Clover went over backwards and the dish of peas to whichhe had just been helping himself followed after.
"You didn't say 'excuse me' when you left the table," said Mitchell, whomthe law of gravitation had suddenly raised to a pinnacle from which heviewed his friends with mirthful scorn; "and if you've hurt yourself itmust be a judgment on you for leaving the table without saying 'excuseme.' Here's to Clover, who has a judgment and a dish of peas served on himat the same time for leaving the table without saying 'excuse me.'"
The sailing-master appeared at the door, his cap in his hand.
"I beg your pardon, sir," he said respectfully, "but I fear it'simpossible to put back. We can't turn without getting into the trough ofthe sea."
"All right, go ahead then," said Mitchell; "go where we must go, and dowhat you've got to do. My motto is veni, vidi, vici, which freelytranslated means I can sleep asea when I can't sleep ashore."
"But Aunt Mary?" cried Jack blankly.
"She's all right," said Mitchell; "she'll soon reach the cold burnt toaststage and when she reaches the stage we'll all welcome her into anychorus. Here's to choruses in general and one chorus girl in particular. Ihaven't met her yet, but I shall know her when I do, for she will look atme. Up to now they've all looked elsewhere and at other men. If my fortunewas only in my face it might draw some interest, but--"
"Lady Belle" careened violently and Clover went over backwards for thesecond time with much in his wake.
"Oh, I say," said Mitchell, rising in disgust, "if you want everything onthe table at once why take it. Only I'm going on deck. After you've bathedin the gravy you can have it. Ditto the other liquids. Jack and I aregoing up to dance a hornpipe and sing for Burnett. He looked ratherennuyed to me when we came down."
Along toward eight o'clock that night "Lady Belle" anchored some
where inthe Sound and tugged vigorously at her cables all night.
With the dawn she headed back towards New York.
"As a success my entertainment has been a failure," said Mitchell to Jackas they walked up and down the deck after breakfast; "but into each lifesome rain must fall, and I offer myself as a sacrificial background toAunt Mary's glowing, living pictures of New York."
"I wish you hadn't, though," said Jack; "she'll never want a yacht of herown now. And how under Scorpion are we ever going to land her?"
"In a sheet, my able-bodied young friend, in a sheet," said Mitchellclapping him on the back. "Don't you know the 'Weigh the Baby' game? Itmay double her up a bit, but the redoubtable Janice will straighten herout again. Here's to the sheet, be it a wet sheet, a main sheet, or asheet with your Aunt Mary tied up in it."
Mitchell was as good as his word and they landed Aunt Mary in a sheet. Thevery harbor-tugs stopped puffing and stood open-mouthed to stare at theperformance, but it was an unalloyed success, and Aunt Mary was gottenonto dry land at last.
"I don't want to do nothin' for a day or two," she said, as they drove tothe house.
Janice had the bed open, and a hot-water bottle down where Aunt Mary'sfeet might be expected, and all sorts of comfort ready to hand.
"I'm so glad to see you safe back," she said, almost weeping.
"I don't believe it's broke," said Aunt Mary, "but you might look and see.Oh, Granite--I--" she stopped and looked an unutterable meaning.
"It stormed, didn't it?" said the maid.
"Stormed!" said Aunt Mary. "I guess it did storm. I guess it hurricaned. Iknow it did. I'm sure of it."
"But you're safe now," said the girl, tucking her up as snugly as if shehad been an infant in arms.
"Yes, I'm safe now," said Aunt Mary, "but--" she looked very earnest--"but,oh, my Granite, how I did need that white fuzzy stuff to drink thismorning. I never wanted nothin' so bad in all my life afore."
Janice stood by the bed, her face full of regret that Aunt Mary had knownany aching void.
Aunt Mary grew yet more earnest.
"Granite," she said, "you mind what I tell you. That ought to beadvertised. I sh'd think you could patent it. Folks ought to know aboutit."
Then she laid herself out in bed. "My heavens alive!" she sighed sweetly,"there's nothin' like home. Not anywhere--not nowhere!"