“Dude, you want to look somewhere other than my junk?” he spat.
Nathan shook his head slowly. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been about you?”
I tilted my head and looked at him funny. “What are you talking about?”
“Stalker? Someone in your apartment? If you don’t show up for work, come cover me up before they see my naked body?” And then his jaw clenched and he exploded. “Chalk outline!”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. It wasn’t funny. It really wasn’t.
“What’s he talking about?” Will asked.
“Look, I honestly didn’t think you took me seriously. You were too busy getting your dick sucked. You weren’t even paying attention to me.”
“I’m always paying attention to you!”
And then I heard the sirens outside. I jumped off Will’s massive dick and raced over to the window. Three cop cars pulled up outside and officers started racing toward the building.
“Oh shit,” I swore, grabbing a blanket off the couch and wrapping it around me just as I heard footsteps pounding on the stairs. “You called the cops?” I screeched.
“You said if you didn’t show up for work!”
“I called in sick!”
“Yeah, and that’s exactly what a stalker would make you do before he killed you!” Nathan shouted.
Will tugged the blanket up, starting to get to his knees when the cops burst in behind Nathan, guns drawn as they took in the scene.
“Hands up!” one of the officers shouted.
“Not a chance in hell,” I muttered, tugging the blanket tighter around me.
The cop swung his gun to Will and growled. “You, hands in the air now.”
Will sighed and let go of the blanket that was covering him. I bit back my laugh as I stared at his ass, knowing the officers were seeing a hell of a lot more of him.
“Someone want to explain what’s going on?” another cop asked.
“Well, when a man and a woman are attracted to each other-” Will began.
“You think this is funny?” the cop snarled.
“Actually, no, I don’t. I’m naked and you’re pointing that gun just a little too close to my dick.”
“How would you like to go down to the station, wise guy?” the cop snarled.
“I would actually hate that very much, especially if you’re not going to let me get dressed first. See, I’m a teacher and being dragged down to the station could get me fired.”
I winced, feeling terrible for dragging him into this. I stepped forward and tried to explain. “Look, yesterday, I felt like someone was watching me, so I called Nathan,” I said, pointing to him at the door. “But he was too busy fucking another woman to come help me out.”
“And what’s your relationship with him?” the cop asked curiously.
“Uh…coworkers,” I said hesitantly.
“And…well,” Nathan shrugged. “Depending on if anyone else is in the picture, we’re…intimate friends.”
The cop looked at Nathan and then his gaze swung to Will, who was still hanging out for everyone to see. “Then who’s this guy?”
“He’s…my other intimate friend.”
“We know each other,” Nathan said, waving his hand between himself and Will. The cop raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“As friends,” Will interjected quickly. “Just as friends. I’m not gay, despite what everyone around town says. It was just a hockey game.”
The cop shook his head, like the whole scene baffled him. “Look, I don’t care if you’re gay or not. I just need to know, how many more intimate friends are going to be showing up?” the cop asked.
“Hey,” I snapped. “That’s a little inappropriate, don’t you think?”
“Lady, you’re in your apartment naked with another man that’s naked, and your other intimate friend called to check on you. It’s not that far fetched.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. “Look, everything is fine. Nathan just overreacted.”
“What about this person you said was watching you?” the cop asked.
Will raised his hand. “Can I pull the blanket up now? Or are you afraid my cock is a lethal weapon?”
The cop glared at him. “Fine.”
Will pulled up the blanket and stood, wrapping the blanket securely around his waist.
“Um…I don’t know. I just have been feeling like someone is watching me.”
“But it doesn’t matter,” Will interjected. “Because I’m here and I’m making sure she’s safe.”
I glanced at Will, a little surprised that he was brushing it off after making sure my apartment was locked up tight last night.
“How about you let the lady talk?” the cop said, shooting a glare his way.
“Look, I could totally be overreacting.”
“You said chalk outline,” Nathan reminded me.
“Yeah, and you seemed really concerned about it last night,” I shot back.
“So, do you actually have anything we can look into, or is this just a hunch?” the cop asked.
I sighed. “It’s just a hunch. I’m sure everything is fine. It was probably my overactive imagination.” Even though I never had an overactive imagination in my entire life, I would give anything for this to be over and for the cops to leave.
The cop turned to Nathan. “Next time you want to report a murder, make sure there’s actually a victim.”
The cops walked out and Nathan shut the door behind them, then he turned to me with a glare. “Thanks a lot for embarrassing me like that.”
“You?” I pointed at him. “What about me? You barged into my apartment and called the cops!”
“Because I thought you were dead!”
“And I specifically told you to come check on me and cover my dead body first! You suck at this whole thing. There wouldn’t have been time to cover my body since you already had the cops on your tail!”
“You called in sick to work!”
“Ooh,” I said, waving my fingers. “That sounds really dangerous.”
“Is that the best you can come up with?” Nathan sneered.
“As a matter of fact, it is,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
We glared at each other for a moment before Will cleared his throat. “So, is this some kind of weird foreplay I should know about?”
Will
That was not the way I thought I would be spending my day. It started off great. I even thought I might be making headway with Charlie, but then that all went to shit the moment Nathan stormed into her apartment. And let me tell you, it was awkward as hell to have the former lover walk in on a naked new lover. And then to have all the cops show up while I was standing there in the buff…just not how I thought I would spend my day.
After the cops left, I just stood there, not sure where to go from this point. One thing was for sure, the thrill of the day had worn off and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. It was weird as hell to be standing there while the two of them bickered like an old married couple, and I was…the entertainment? Christ, it was messed up.
I pulled up to my brother’s place, because frankly, I wasn’t sure Paul could handle this situation. And since my brothers had already gotten me tangled up in this shit, I figured they could help me get out of it. I got out of my truck and slammed the door. It was a little early for Eric to be home, but his truck was in the driveway. He must have had a light day of work.
I was just about to swing the door open when I had the distinct feeling that I should knock first, and boy was I glad I did. When Eric answered the door, he was pulling his shirt over his head and he was sweating, like he had just been having a sex marathon.
I shoved past him, ignoring the irritated look on his face. “Look, I don’t want to know what you and Kat were doing. I had a shit day and I need help.”
“Sure,” he said, slamming the door. “Come on in. Never mind that I was making love to my fiancé, or that we were trying to mak
e a baby,” he said irritatedly. “Just barge in and lay all your problems on me.”
I nodded to him. “I knew you’d understand.”
He rolled his eyes at me and pulled out a chair, plopping down in it. “So, what has you over here, ruining my happy time with Kat.”
“Your happy time?”
He sighed heavily. “Are you going to tell me or are you just gonna sit there?”
Kat walked into the room looking disheveled, but just grinned at me. “Hello, destroyer of good sex.”
I winked at her, knowing that Eric wouldn’t have abandoned her without giving her an orgasm.
“Well, I’ve had kind of a shit day.”
“And I’m guessing this has to do with Charlie,” Eric assumed.
I snorted. “You would be right.”
Kat sat down in a chair, hiking her leg up against her chest. “I thought you weren’t seeing her?”
“Well, I was doing this thing where I ignore her and then find out through a friend where she’s going to be. And then I show up and ignore her some more to make her think that I’m not affected by her.”
“So, you’re stalking her,” Kat concluded.
I huffed out a breath. “I guess you could call it that.”
“I wouldn’t call it that. The whole world would call it that,” she retorted.
“Well, it was working, like…one time. And then she showed up here with Ma-“
“Let me guess, she got scared off,” Eric grinned.
“No, she thought it was fun,” I said in confusion. “I don’t get it. I pretended to ignore her in the hopes that she’d want me, and nothing happened. But then I intentionally didn’t call and then she wanted me. I don’t get what I’m doing wrong?”
Kat tapped her finger against her chin like she was thinking. “You mean that when you try and manipulate her it doesn’t work, but when you act like a normal person, she wants to spend time with you. Very interesting.”
“I know, right?”
Kat rolled her eyes at me. The back door opened and Robert walked in with a grinning Anna. “Hey, guys,” Robert grinned.
“Please, everyone come in and ruin my evening,” Eric called out.
Robert squeezed his shoulder and grinned. “Thanks, man. It’s frickin’ cold out there. What’s going on?”
“Will was telling us how he’s manipulating Charlie to get her to go out with him.”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” I argued.
“Sorry, he’s stalking her,” Eric corrected.
“How’s that working out?” Robert asked, taking off his coat.
“Well…see, I talked to Derek-“
“Oh, Christ. Tell me you didn’t take his advice,” Robert sighed. “He gives the worst relationship advice ever.”
“Well, not exactly. I mean, it sort of worked.”
“How?”
“Remember how we talked about showing up in random places, running into her without seeming to?”
They nodded.
“Oh, this should be good,” Anna grinned.
“Well, it was fine, but then after the thing with Ma, I realized that I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to just be her booty call.”
“Aww,” Anna said, her face morphing into some sad love story playing out in front of me. “That’s so sweet. Will’s in love.”
“Not in love.”
“Oh, you’re definitely in love,” Kat snorted.
“Guys, will you tell them,” I said testily.
“Yeah, this isn’t love,” Eric agreed. “This is him coming to the conclusion that the woman he wants doesn’t want him in the same way that he wants her.”
“Exactly,” I nodded.
“And he realized that if he stayed with her, his heart would be crushed like a stale graham cracker. And then he would never fall in love again and his life would be miserable.”
I frowned, dissecting what he just said.
“It’s true,” Robert nodded.
“What’s the difference between that and what I just said?” Kat asked.
“He hasn’t admitted that he’s in love with her,” Eric said. “And until he does, he’s in the land of the misunderstood.”
“No,” I shook my head. “That’s not at all what happened.”
“I bet she called him,” Anna grinned.
“Well-“
“And he went running,” Kat agreed.
“I didn’t go running,” I argued.
“But you did go see her,” Robert said.
“Well, yes, but-“
“And just like that, she had you back on her hook.”
“There is no hook,” I practically yelled at Eric. “I am the hook.”
“No,” Kat burst out laughing. “You’re not even close to the hook. You’re the gross stuff that goes on that hook…what’s it called?” she asked Eric.
“The bait.”
“I am not the bait,” I said angrily. “I make the rules in this relationship.”
“The relationship that she insists doesn’t exist,” Robert pointed out.
I glared at him. “You know what? I’m not the bait. I only went over there because she said someone was stalking her.”
Anna and Kat burst out laughing. “So, you went over there to protect her from yourself. You’re the stalker.”
“I know that,” I burst out in rage. “But she sounded scared, or maybe not scared,” I said, thinking back on our conversation. She actually just sounded annoyed. “Actually, she was just talking about me coming over with a bat and killing the murderer. And since I was the murderer, I couldn’t let her freak out about it.”
“So, what did you do when you went over?” Eric asked. They were all leaning forward with rapt attention.
“I checked the place out and I was going to leave, but she asked me to stay. And then Derek called when she was in the shower-“
“Wait, she was in the shower and you stood outside talking to your brother?” Robert scoffed. “Well, I think we can all see where this went wrong.”
“I wasn’t trying to have sex with her,” I argued.
“And that’s where you also went wrong,” Anna said. “A woman like Charlie is after sex, so when she goes into the shower, you follow her. That’s how you get her. You force her into submission with your dick.”
I was getting so frustrated. They wouldn’t even let me get through the story. “Anyway,” I said irritatedly. “Derek said I should play up the whole protector thing and make a big deal about showing her that I was taking care of her. And then she dropped her towel and one thing led to another. And I made sure the door and windows were locked.”
“Wait, you just skipped over the best parts,” Robert said. Anna smacked him upside the head. “Ow, I’m just saying, if the guy wants help, we need to know these things.”
“So, you stayed the night?” Anna asked.
“Yeah, and then she totally blew me away and cut me to pieces all at the same time.”
“Okay, now I’m thinking maybe there really was a murder,” Kat said. “You left her in one piece, right?”
“Of course.”
“And there’s no blood.”
I sighed and rubbed my hand down my face. “When we woke up the next morning, she said that maybe we could have more.”
“So, you got her,” Robert said excitedly.
“Not exactly.”
The back door opened and Josh walked through with Carly and Alessa.
“Christ, I might as well order pizza,” Eric sighed, standing and walking over to the table where his phone was.
“What’s wrong with him?” Josh asked.
“Will interrupted sex,” Robert pointed out.
“Well, now that we’re here, we might as well stick around. Since the sex is over and all.”
He pulled out a chair and sat down, then pulled Carly into his lap. Carly started taking off Alessa’s winter gear as the rest of us continued.
“So, what did you say?” Anna as
ked.
“About what?” Carly asked.
“Will is accidentally on purpose stalking Charlie, but she knows, just not that it’s him. She called him over to check out the apartment, and once he was sure that he wasn’t there to kill her, he had sex with her and checked all the windows and door. Then, in the morning, she said she might want more,” Anna said enthusiastically.
Carly shook her head slowly. “I’m confused.”
“We all are,” Robert grumbled.
“She said only a few nights a week,” I admitted.
“Ouch,” Josh grimaced. “That’s not better.”
“No shit. Look, the point is, I don’t think I can do that. I can’t pretend that I only want her a few nights a week. I want breakfast. I want afternoons. I want…”
“Love,” Josh nodded.
“See?” Eric pointed at Josh. “He gets it.”
“No, this isn’t about love. It’s…it’s…”
I struggled to come up with the words, but Kat filled it in for me. “It’s about the potential for love.”
“Exactly.”
“So, tell her you love her,” Josh shrugged.
“But I don’t love her,” I sighed.
“Right,” Josh snorted.
“I’m serious,” I said forcefully.
“Look, you have it bad for her. We can all see it,” Robert said.
I looked at all of them and they just stared at me like I was an idiot. “Fine,” I relented. “I may be part-way, almost, on the verge of possibly feeling something like love for her.”
“Wow,” Anna said, clucking her tongue. “A ringing endorsement if I ever heard one. Just don’t tell her like that.”
I dropped my head to the table with a thunk. This was a disaster. I couldn’t be in love with her. She didn’t even want me like that.
“So, what did you tell her?”
“Well, I fucked her and then Nathan burst in the apartment-“
“Wait, who’s Nathan?” Josh asked.
“The ex-lover.”
They all sat back in shock.
“No, it’s totally cool. They have this relationship where they’re friends and they fuck when they’re not fucking others.”
Textbook Approach: A Small Town Romance Page 20