Searching for Home

by Megan Linden

  “Would you like to sit?” Taylor asked but didn’t move toward the armchairs or the couch himself. It had been a courtesy offer, not expected to be followed.

  Which was good, because there was no way Patrick would accept it. There wasn’t going to be a fight, not really, but his instincts were all over the place—old ones and new, the ones led by pride and the ones born from deferential surrender.

  “No, I’m good. Thank you,” he said with a nod, tilting his head just so to reveal a glimpse of his neck.

  It was enough to smooth things over so that Taylor lost at least some of the tension coiled in his shoulders. Patrick, in turn, inhaled a little easier.

  “We’re most likely never going to be friends, you and I,” Taylor said.

  Wow, he went straight to it.

  “And I don’t have a problem with that. I understand how difficult it must be for you—at least I think I do,” he added, probably noticing something on Patrick’s face that Patrick wasn’t fast enough to hide as he’d stomped on his anger at the notion that Taylor could understand. “But you also need to know that there’s only so much I can…accept.”

  Patrick nodded. “I do.”

  “Then you realize that I can’t have you acting like I have a plague you can catch if you come within a talking distance,” Taylor told him. “You’re walking on thin ice, especially when it’s also my mate you’re disrespecting.”

  Patrick opened his mouth to protest, but Taylor wasn’t done.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my position either, but I’ve tried to give you some leeway there. I won’t give it when it comes to Kevin. He’s been nothing but gracious to you. He’s my mate, and he’s also the future Beta of this pack,” he said, stressing the last part. “My mothers aren’t the only ones you should show your respect to.”

  The protests died in Patrick’s throat. He didn’t think he had done that, but now he started to question it. His whole life, the only authority over him had belonged to the Alpha and the Beta of the pack. He’d always known to show the proper respect. That wasn’t his life anymore, though. Now there were more people to whom he owed respect and surrender. He’d thought he’d done that, but maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe he was falling on his old instincts instead of creating new ones.

  “I do know that,” he finally said. This time, he tilted his head a little more to the side. “I apologize if my behavior—” He paused. “I apologize for any disrespect I showed toward you or your mate. I assure you I haven’t done it out of ill will.”

  Taylor nodded. “I believe you. That is why I wanted to have this talk.” He moved closer until he could put his hand on the side of Patrick’s arm. “I accept your apology.”

  He didn’t go for the neck. Patrick almost shuddered from the way the tension snapped inside of him. This, out of maybe everything Taylor Harrington had done so far, was what mattered most to Patrick, what showed him who this man was.

  The Alpha pair of the pack, as well as the Alpha’s Son or Daughter, traditionally touched someone to whom they were granting forgiveness or lenience. They usually put their hand on the side of the person’s neck to accentuate the power they held over that person. Touching someone on the arm instead was the alternative, but it was rarely used since, according to tradition, the formal apologies should show the power in the leadership, so that no one mistook forgiveness for a weakness.

  And Patrick could feel something changing inside him now. There was a new kind of reverence toward the Alpha’s Son, one that was more solid than the one Patrick had to remind himself of, the one his old instincts chaffed against.

  It left him raw and open, though. He was feeling powerless.

  “Thank you,” he offered quietly, unable to meet Taylor’s gaze right then. He wanted to leave, wanted to ask to be excused, but the words couldn’t come out.

  “That’s all I wanted to say,” the Alpha’s Son told him, taking a step back. “You can go back to the party, if you wish.”

  Patrick said his goodbyes and left the room, heading for the front entrance, needing to escape. He couldn’t stay in this place, not when every nerve ending in his damn body was standing at attention.

  He was almost at the door when suddenly Ollie was there, grinning at him from the kitchen entrance. “Hi there.”

  No. His instincts were all over the place. He couldn’t… Not you. I can’t. I can’t.

  Patrick barely glanced at him before leaving, only letting out a shaky breath once the door clicked shut behind him.

  Chapter Eight

  “Well done!” Ollie told Nadia when she put the right piece of the puzzle in place. They had been playing with puzzles for the last two hours, over and over again, but since it kept both twins happy and in one place, he had no complaints. Or, well…not many.

  It had been a hard day in the Tomilson-King household, though, so he did his part and didn’t say anything. Desiree had been feeling sick the entire morning and the trip to the Alpha’s house was in danger of being called off, which upset the twins. They’d started crying and screaming, and it had taken a long while for them to calm down, until they’d finally exhausted themselves enough to fall asleep, tucked into Sylvia’s sides as she rubbed their backs.

  After their nap, they had been in a much better mood, and since Desiree had been feeling better, the afternoon plans were back on track. They’d eaten an early lunch and Ollie had offered to take care of the kids while the moms caught a little break.

  And the twins had demanded the puzzles, so puzzles they’d gotten.

  “How much longer before we go to the Alpha?” Neil asked, trying to put a corner piece in the middle of the puzzle.

  “Not long,” Ollie told him. “How about you try to put it someplace else, huh?”

  “No.” Neil shook his head for emphasis. “It goes here.”

  “How about you try it your way and if it doesn’t work out, you try something else?”

  “Maybe.”

  Ollie swallowed back laughter as he rubbed Neil’s back. The best thing about kids was that they were sometimes unintentionally hilarious.

  “I’m done!” Nadia announced, tugging at Ollie’s hand for emphasis.

  “Great job,” he told her and she grinned at him toothily.

  Neil caught his other hand and tugged at it, too. “I’m almost done.”

  Fortunately, that was the moment Sylvia and Desiree chose to come out to the living room and the puzzles were forgotten as the twins ran to hug their moms’ legs.

  “Is it time yet?” Neil asked, then let out a happy shout when Sylvia nodded.

  “Time to put on some shoes,” she told them before glancing up at Ollie. “Uncle Ollie needs his shoes, too.”

  “Where could they be?” he pretended to wonder. “I think I will have to go search for them. Who wants to go with me?”

  “Me!” both Nadia and Neil screamed and ran toward the shoe rack by the front door.

  Ollie looked between Sylvia and Desiree. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked in a low voice to avoid being overheard by the kids. “I can always—”

  “I’m fine,” Desiree told him as she rubbed the side of her stomach. “She’s just a little overexcited today. That’s all.”

  “You’ll get your share of outings with the twins alone after this one gets here,” Sylvia said. “Save your strength for that.”

  Ollie chuckled. “You really know how to sell your kids in the right way.”

  “We found them!” Nadia announced loudly and all three adults turned toward her. “We found your shoes, Uncle Ollie!”

  “Awesome! I guess it’s time to go, huh?”

  The twins let out more excited shouts and after everyone had their shoes on, they headed out of the door to the car. The weather was perfect, warm but not too hot, and Ollie was looking forward to great food and a nice afternoon. He had a fleeting thought of perhaps seeing Patrick there too, but he pushed it aside. They’d seen each other every day lately and there
were a lot of people Ollie hadn’t spoken to in a while, so he was probably going to spend his time visiting with them.

  Or maybe he was kidding himself. Given a chance, he wouldn’t say no to spending more time with Patrick and he knew it. He hadn’t talked with anyone at work nearly as much as he had with Patrick. While Ollie was careful not to seek him out too much, Patrick wandered to the counter often enough for Ollie to know that it wasn’t just him who enjoyed their conversations, even if Patrick could be a bit hot and cold sometimes, for no reason Ollie could figure out.

  Ollie wasn’t going to be working at the café for much longer, though, since Joy was ready to get back to work. Come Wednesday, he wouldn’t need to cover any more shifts, so if he wanted to…try for something else other than a tentative friendship with Patrick, he had only a few more days to do so. Sure, in theory he could also wait until his shifts were finished, but his patience was wearing thin. He felt drawn to Patrick and he didn’t want to lose any more time. If Patrick said no, then Ollie would move on. If Patrick said yes…

  “Someone’s in a good mood,” Sylvia told him right after they’d dropped Desiree and the twins off before continuing their search for a parking spot as close to the Alpha’s house as possible.

  “It’s a nice day.” Ollie shrugged. “I mean… I know Desiree was sick earlier—”

  “Uh-uh, don’t change the subject,” Sylvia said with a shake of her head, parking the car right behind a blue pick-up that belonged to Zack Harrington, if Ollie remembered correctly. “Is that good mood in any way related to a certain werewolf you seem to be back on good terms with?”

  “You need to stop gossiping about me with other people, you know.” Ollie rolled his eyes as he got out of the car.

  “Oh, please. As if I need other people to know stuff about you.” Sylvia handed him two bags of food from the trunk. “I’ve seen you two at the café.”

  “You’re almost never there when I am.”

  “And it was still enough to know you’re back on good terms.”

  Ollie shrugged as they walked down the street. The sooner they got this over with, the less chance there was for someone to overhear them.

  “Sure, fine, we’re back on good terms,” he told Sylvia with a shrug. “But we’re not sleeping together, if that’s what you’re fishing for.”

  “Not yet,” she said with a smirk.

  Ollie recognized that voice. His sister was scheming again.

  “Please, don’t do anything stupid. I don’t need your idea of helping, okay?”

  Sylvia circled her arm around his and pulled him closer. “I’m not going to do anything. But I am happy there’s a new reason for you to stick around Hills.”

  He tensed at that. It was an old argument, one they had at least once every time he’d come home. Sylvia—and a few other members of the family—had always tried to make him stay for good, and Ollie was tired of defending his choices.

  “You know I’m staying at least six months now,” he told her, pulling back under the pretense of readjusting the bags he was holding. “I’m staying so I can help after your little one is born. We talked about this.”

  “I know.” Sylvia grimaced. “And I’m grateful, really. You’ve already been a huge help. I just… You can’t blame me for wanting to have the family close together.”

  “I can blame you for harassing me about it every damn time I come home, though. I don’t tell you how to live your life, do I?” Ollie was grateful they were finally at the Alpha’s house so he didn’t have to continue this conversation. “I’m going to put these in the kitchen.”

  He left Sylvia without another word. His good mood was gone now and he needed some distance from her.

  When he got to the kitchen, Jack and Connor were there with Rosa. From the looks of it, they were trying to build a pyramid out of chocolate chip cookies.

  “Hi, there,” he said and was greeted with three big smiles.

  “Hey,” Jack and Connor said in unison and Rosa followed after she carefully put the next cookie on top of two others.

  “Hi, Uncle Ollie!”

  He took the food containers out of the bags and put them on the side of the counter where there was still room before going up to the table.

  “Pretty nice cookie castle you have here,” he said with a grin, sitting down on the opposite side from Rosa and her dads.

  “It’s not a castle. It’s a pyramid!” she protested. Her frown made Ollie stifle a laugh.

  “A pyramid, of course,” he agreed easily, taking a cookie from the tray Jack offered him. “These are delicious,” he added after swallowing one in two bites.

  “We baked them earlier,” Connor said, grabbing one for himself as well. “Then we decided they would be great building blocks. Right, Rosa?”

  “Yes.”

  The serious tone and the accompanying nod made all three adults at the table chuckle, but Rosa didn’t care, still carefully building her pyramid.

  Ollie hung out with them for a little while, laughing, joking and eating more cookies than he probably should have. Finally, when the pyramid was ready, he realized he should at least say hello to the Alpha pair.

  Then, right as he left the kitchen, he saw Patrick walking down the corridor.

  “Hi, there,” Ollie greeted him with a grin, not even trying to hide his joy at seeing him.

  But Patrick’s face was like a blank mask. He ignored Ollie as if he didn’t hear him, barely sparing him a glance before he left through the front door.

  And ouch, that hurt. Ollie had thought they were past this. He’d thought—

  Well, it didn’t really matter. It was obvious now that he’d been wrong.

  Chapter Nine

  Patrick ran through the forest as fast as he could, the excitement of it slowly pushing away the tension. Life was easier in wolf form sometimes. There was not so much thinking, less emotion—instincts overruled everything else. He could let go and enjoy the rush of adrenaline burning through his body.

  He didn’t go past the lines of Harrington Pack territory, but he ran far enough that he found himself in parts of the woods he’d never been in before. He slowed down and observed the terrain, inhaling deeply as he tried to catch any familiar scents. There was nothing, as if no wolf—or human, for that matter—had passed through here in a long time. He smelled the trees and the earth, as well as all the animals that lived in these woods.

  His nostrils flared, but he hadn’t come here for a hunt. He wasn’t hungry, either. He’d just needed to get away for a while. He finally paused at the small clearing, tall grass covering the ground as the trees gave way to this slice of open space. Only now, with the clear sight of the sky, did he realize how much time had passed since he’d left the Alpha’s house. It was getting dark, the last remains of sunlight already hidden behind the trees.

  It didn’t faze him, though. He could spend the night here, under the stars. It had been a while since he’d done it last, aside from the Full Moon Runs, but he always enjoyed it.

  He stretched his body, the muscles aching pleasantly under his fur. Then he lay down in the middle of the clearing, resting his head on his front paws. He’d barely closed his eyes before the scent of water reached him. Patrick didn’t remember any lakes from the maps of the area, but he hadn’t studied them in detail—not the forests, at least, which covered approximately seventy percent of the land. He knew where the closest towns were, how many roads led to Harrington Hills, and he also knew Hills itself very well now, but he only recalled a river nearby. But both his ears and his nose agreed that whatever this was, it was not a river.

  The lake turned out to be more like a pond—which would explain why he hadn’t seen it on the map. It was simply too small. The water smelled clean enough, but the darkening sky that was barely visible through dense circle of trees made it hard to say anything else about it.

  He drank a bit of water, enjoying the cold spreading through his body, still heated after hours of running. He decided to sleep
here instead of going back to the clearing. He was in no hurry, since nobody would be looking for him. He could do whatever he wanted.

  He rounded the lake at a slow pace until he chose a patch of grass to lie down on for the night. As he closed his eyes, the memory of Ollie’s happy grin showed up in his mind, uninvited, and Patrick shook his head.

  No. No thinking. No feeling. He needed a rest.

  * * * *

  He woke up at dawn from a dream in which someone was petting him, weaving their fingers through his fur in slow, soothing motions. They’d been sitting at the lake, the breeze making the water stir and the forest rustle. Whoever Patrick was with didn’t talk at all and he felt himself going boneless.

  The reality was less pleasant, since he’d woken alone, but he still felt relaxed and well-rested. As the dream slowly dissipated, he wondered who had been there with him, but there was nothing he could use as a clue. Who would he allow to touch him like that?

  Ollie, his mind supplied, and Patrick huffed loudly through his nose, getting up on all fours and shaking his body. He’d been doing well not thinking about Ollie yesterday, and now he was back at it before he’d even woken up properly. He’s probably not happy with me now, he told himself as he stared at the clear water of the lake, now fully visible in the morning light. There was a whine rising in his throat as that thought registered, but he refused to let it out. Desperate for a distraction, he shifted into his human body and jumped into the lake.

  The shock of freezing-cold water startled him as it overwhelmed his body for a few seconds. He broke the surface and inhaled sharply, blinking the water from his eyelids.

  As he was getting used to the cold, he swam in a small circle to get a closer look at the lake. He was able to see the bottom of it, covered in dark green aquatic plants he couldn’t even recognize if he tried, and he guessed it couldn’t be deeper than fifteen, maybe twenty feet. As he moved, he saw different kinds of fish swimming away and he wondered if they could tell a werewolf from a human and if they would consider him the same risk.