As her gaze swept around the room at the few guests, one person stood out more than the others. Julian was placed right by the clergyman, and his intense gaze was directly on her. Oh dear... Just as she figured, the way he looked at her made her weak in the worst way. It was though his stare devoured every part of her.
His appearance managed to take her breath way.
Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined it possible for him to become alluring than she believed him to already be, but he had. He wore a white waistcoat with a blue double-breasted coat with a velvet collar, and black Cashmere trousers. His fine-striped cravat was fixed perfectly around his throat, and the black top hat made him as regal as the Prince Regent himself.
The closer she walked toward Julian, the more it became hard for her to breath. Her vision narrowed and she couldn’t see anyone but him. The tender expression on his face as he reached his hand out to her calmed her fears, especially when she slipped her palm against his. Warmth spread through her, more peaceful than she’d ever felt before.
As the clergyman read from the Book of Common Prayer, Alexandria couldn’t hear a word he was saying. All that she heard was her own crazy heartbeat and her irregular breaths. Julian stared at her the whole time, as well. As each second passed, his expression became more tender, and soon desire coated his eyes. Heavens, she hoped she didn’t look at him the same way, even though she felt it.
To have and to hold from this day forward...
She finally heard the clergyman’s words, and she pondered them briefly. From this day forward. She would have Julian from this day forward. Her heart flipped. If only she could start to trust him again.
Therefore, I plight thee my troth.
Julian nodded and said, “I will.”
When it came time for her to repeat the words, she gently cleared her throat. “I will.”
Then it struck her. She had just pledged to be completely loyal and faithful to her husband—to the marriage contract. But of course she would. Was there any doubt?
And yet...she didn’t think Julian could do the same.
TWENTY
Alexandria tried to focus on the clergyman and what he was saying, but nothing registered in her mind. Whatever he said made Julian grin and take her hand, pulling her closer. Panic gripped her. Was she really expected to kiss him in front of all these people? Why hadn’t she thought of this before now?
She swallowed hard, and licked her suddenly dry lips. Holding her breath, she waited until Julian placed his mouth over hers and took her into his arms. She kept herself stiff, not wanting to show him how much she enjoyed the moment. Thankfully, the kiss wasn’t long and he withdrew first.
Exhaling slowly, she turned to greet the guests as they wandered up one at a time. Joanna stayed in her chair with tears in her eyes and a smile stretching across her face. Alexandria wanted to go over to her, but she knew there was time for that later.
After everyone greeted her and wished her well in her marriage, Julian whisked her into the dining room where a large meal had been prepared for everyone. He pulled out the chair for her at one end of the table, and she graciously sat, and then he moved to the other end of the table to take his rightful place.
As everyone sat, she searched for Joanna, but couldn’t see her. When she saw the butler, she quickly stopped him. “Excuse me, Mr. Higley, but have you seen my sister?”
“Mrs. Hinsdale is up in her room, Your Grace. She was not feeling well.”
Her heart dropped, knowing her sister was still not well. And yet, a different emotion grew inside of her. The butler had called her, Your Grace. It did sound rather nice, but certainly a change since not even a week ago, people were calling her sister by that title.
“I thank you, Mr. Higley.”
“You are very welcome, Your Grace.”
She tried not to grin as he walked away. Indeed, she could definitely become used to hearing that. Too bad she couldn’t bring herself to forgive Julian. They might actually make a happy couple.
Sadness encased her chest. If only she could truly believe that.
JULIAN PACED BACK AND forth in the hall, waiting until the right moment to enter his bedchamber—which was now occupied by his wife.
He hadn’t asked her to sleep in his room, but in his mind, there was no way around it. His wife would occupy his room alongside him. Julian instructed her lady’s maid to move her things in there. Since he hadn’t heard any argument from Alexandria, he wondered if he would hear her objections when he entered the room. After all, he didn’t ask if she wanted this, just assumed she would know he wanted her in his room for now and always.
Now and always...
He still couldn’t believe he finally married. And she was a beautiful bride, to be sure. Tonight would be full of adventure that was certain, only because he still didn’t know how she was going to act.
Excitement shot through him, and he couldn’t believe how nervous he was. All evening he had worried she would refuse his husbandly right to make her his wife. Off and on throughout the evening, he caught her staring at him with a gleam in her eyes, but she quickly withdrew her attention before he could really study her. Although their kiss in front of their guests at the conclusion of the ceremony wasn’t as heated as he’d hoped it would be, she still participated in the kiss. Unfortunately, when he tried to slip his arm around her throughout the evening, she still acted as if she was repulsed by his touch.
Tonight would be different. He’d be tender with her and show her how loving and understanding a husband could be. However, he wouldn’t understand if she told him no. This was their wedding night. Would she be so cold-hearted on such a special occasion?
Finally, the door opened and out walked the lady’s maid. When her stare met his, her face beamed red.
She curtsied. “Your wife is ready for you now.”
“I thank you, Johnson. You may retire for the rest of the evening.”
“Yes, Your Grace.” She curtsied again and hurried down the hall.
Gearing himself for what was to come—whether good or bad—he entered the room. The lamps were low and a few candles were lit near the bed. In the shadows he could see the lump in the blankets, but he couldn’t quite see his wife.
He walked closer to the large bed that had been in his family for years. An over-mantle framed the top of the bed with blue velvet curtains draped on each corner with white sheer curtains hanging in between.
A sweet smell lingered in the air. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Lilacs—Alexandria’s scent that had been permanently marked in his memory.
Using one hand, he parted the sheer curtain nearest to him. Alexandria lay in bed with two pillows stuffed behind her, propping up slightly. Glorious waves of blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, and his fingers itched to stroke her silky locks. The white gown she wore ruffled in the mid-arm sleeves and was tied with a pink ribbon above each elbow. The wide neck had thin lace bordering the bodice, and a pink ribbon weaved in and out along the edge.
Gazing upon such beauty literally took his breath away. Urgency surged through him and he couldn’t wait to take her in his arms and make her his wife.
But when he looked upon her pale face and wide eyes, he paused. She was frightened. Of course she was. She’d probably heard horror stories of how husbands stake out their lusts and have no concern for the woman’s sensibilities. Although he couldn’t wait to make her his—in the Biblical sense—he wasn’t about to hurt her in anyway.
He’d already hurt her enough.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said softly.
“Th-thank you.”
He grinned. “There is nothing to be afraid of, my dear. I assure you, I am a gentle man.”
She nodded as her gaze dropped to the blanket she clutched around her bosom.
He moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. Cautiously, he stroked one of her hands. “And I thank you for joining me in my room this evening.”
Her gaze
bounced up to meet his. “Was it not required of me?”
“It’s expected, yes, but I have many friends who married and their wife did not join them on their wedding night.”
“I didn’t know I had a choice.”
He chuckled. “You did, actually.”
She stared at him for a few moments in silence, and then asked, “Then can I change my mind?”
His laughter grew as he shook his head. “Indeed, you can always say no, but I pray you do not.”
He lifted his hand higher and stroked her cheek. She inhaled sharply, but didn’t pull away, thankfully.
“I...I suppose I can try,” she said in a whisper.
“That’s all I ask.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead before pulling away and standing. “I’m going to undress now.”
She gasped and quickly closed her eyes. Julian held in a laugh as he moved to the other side of the room. With the low lighting, he doubted she would be able to see him over here in the shadows. Then again, she was probably the kind of woman who didn’t peek.
He stripped off his clothes, and hesitated on going to her wearing nothing at all. Although he didn’t usually wear nightshirts to bed, perhaps he should just this time as not to frighten Alexandria.
He located a nightshirt and slipped it on before returning to the bed. Her eyes were still closed, but he knew she wasn’t asleep. She was still too stiff for any kind of rest.
He climbed in between the sheets and scooted next to her. Lying on his side, he propped himself on his elbow and gazed upon her once again. As before, her beauty made it hard for him to breathe.
“You can open your eyes now,” he told her.
Her lashes flickered as she looked at him. Immediately, her focus dropped to his chest, and she sighed, her shoulders relaxing. He held back a laugh. Apparently, she’d expected him to be naked.
Gradually, her attention came to his eyes. Her throat jumped in what appeared to be a hard swallow.
“See, my blossom. There is nothing to fear.”
One side of her mouth lifted. “Not yet.”
“Not from me. Not ever.” He cupped her face. “I know I have hurt you, but it was unintentional. Please, Lexie, I want you to forgive me. I need you to forgive me for not being honest with you.”
He studied her sad expression. She kept silent for a few moments, but at least she wasn’t arguing with him. That was good.
“Lexie, I need you to believe in me again. I’ll do anything to bring back the bright smile to your lovely face. I’d give anything to see that happy twinkle in your eyes when you look at me.”
She licked her lips. “Your Grace, I shall try to forget all that has happened and see you as a new person.”
“That’s all I ask. Because I assure you, I’m not the man you heard rumors about.”
She nodded, but didn’t say anything.
He leaned closer and brushed his lips across her cheek, inhaling her sweet scent. Scooting closer, he slid his hand around her head, holding her next to his face as he moved his mouth down her neck. She shivered, but she had yet to push him away.
Encouraged, he continued his seduction, wondering how far she’d let him go.
TWENTY-ONE
Warmth spread through Alexandria faster than she had expected. Yet this was a man who had always made her heart beat quickly and left her gasping for breath. He’d always known how to numb her mind until all she could think about was him. As Julian’s mouth traveled down her neck, he was proving that he hadn’t lost his touch...and that her body couldn’t forget what thrills of excitement shot through her every time he did this.
Her body cried out to allow his tender and sweet ministrations, but her mind argued. Not more than a couple of minutes ago, she had told him she would try to forget. So why had it taken her so little effort to completely forget? Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, her mind couldn’t convince her body to stop melting in his arms. Her mind shouted at her to move her hands and push him away, but all she could do was grasp the blankets around her bosom and enjoy. She wanted to tell him to stop, but it was as though her mouth didn’t want to speak the words.
“Oh, Lexie,” he groaned, pulling her fully into his arms as his mouth connected with hers.
Her heart hammered wildly. No, she must stop this. Panic grew inside of her. “Please, Your Grace—”
“No, my Lexie. Call me Julian. I beg you,” he muttered against her lips. “I want to hear your sweet voice say my name...my real name.”
She couldn’t help it. Her heart soared. “Julian,” she sighed, loving the way his name sounded.
He must have enjoyed it as well, because his kiss turned more eager as though he wanted to please her. Indeed, this man didn’t have to work very hard at pleasuring her, because he’d always seemed to be so flawless at it.
Suddenly, her hands started sliding up to his neck, and yet she found it strange that she didn’t want to stop them. But as her palms encountered his taut muscles, she was delighted for not having the strength to cease her actions. When she hooked her hands around his neck, he pushed her back on the bed, lying half on top of her. Breast to breast, mouth to mouth, heart to heart...
Without wanting it to happen, her mind softened. She mentally fought it just as she’d been fighting these feelings so far, and yet nothing had worked. Obviously, her mind was not in control and her body was going to get what she’d been longing for since she first met this man. His kisses were too tender, and the way he caressed her arms and back excited her too much.
Alexandria was lost in a dream...a dream she never wanted to end. She finally succumbed to his lovemaking. She needed to relax and enjoy every minute, every kiss, and every stroke of this man’s sensual touch. He would take her to paradise and back if she let him.
Just as she surrendered, his mouth moved from hers and traveled down her neck again. His hand moved from behind her and rested on the tied ribbon that kept the bodice of her nightgown together. When his finger and thumb took hold of the end of the ribbon, he raised his head and stared into her eyes.
Her breath was ragged, and she wasn’t certain if she would be able to get control over her crazy heartbeat. Yet, gazing into his passion-filled eyes, her traitorous heart melted. She was more than willing to let him take her anywhere he wanted.
In agonizing slow tugs, he untied the ribbon holding her nightgown closed. With gentle fingers, he coaxed the bodice apart to reveal a small amount of flesh.
“Oh, Lexie.” He met her gaze again. “I feel as though I’m the luckiest man alive.”
Hesitantly, he ran his fingers over the swell of her breasts. Pleasure streaked through her, and she could have died a happy woman right then.
“I promise you,” he continued, “I shall prove to you that I’m a different man. More than anything, I want you to love me.”
Love him? He really wanted her to love him? Her heart skipped, and she was ready to tell him yes, but then a woman’s face appeared in her head. Through the blissful haze in her mind, she recalled the visit from Miss Theresa and what terrible things the woman said about Julian. The other woman had assured Alexandria that Julian would never change.
“Julian,” she said softly, “more than anything, I want you to be a different man. You cannot possibly be the type of man Miss Theresa warned me about.”
He stopped the sensual strokes his fingers were doing to her skin and narrowed his gaze. “You spoke to Miss Theresa Dickson?”
“Yes.”
“When?” His voice grew edgy.
“A few days ago she came to visit me here at the estate.”
His expression turned hard. He withdrew his comforting touch and lifted off her, sitting up straight on the bed. Grumbling, he pushed his fingers through his hair as his mouth grew tight.
“Julian? What’s amiss?” she asked, afraid to move.
“Why did you not tell me this before now?”
The tone of his voice was agitated, and he wouldn’t look at her. Her first
instinct was to cower and apologize, but then she remembered that she had nothing to apologize for. Julian was the one who hadn’t told her about his life in the first place. If he would have been open and honest with her all along...
“At the time, I did not think it was important,” she said briskly.
He turned his head and peered at her through angry eyes. “Why not, pray tell? You had heard the rumors.”
“Indeed, I had, but then I heard it from the lady herself.”
“Lexie, Miss Theresa is no lady.”
“She’s not?” Alexandria cocked her head. “I thought she was related to a noble.”
“She is, but I assure you, that woman is not a lady.”
“Regardless,” Alexandria muttered. “What I don’t understand is why is this news upsetting you now?”
“Because you brought up this subject while I was trying to make love to you.”
Although the feelings he’d instilled inside of her were still fresh, the mood had been ruined, and her mind finally started working properly. “I agree that this was not the best place to bring up one of your lovers,” she bit out, “and because I have destroyed our moment of passion, perhaps it is now time for me to tell you that I’m not quite ready for our joining. It’s still too soon.”
She quickly moved from the bed, tying the ribbon of her bodice as not to display anymore of her bosom.
“Lexie, you cannot be serious.”
“Oh, rest assured, Your Grace, I am very serious.” She grabbed her wrapper from the nearby chair and hurried out of the room.
Once she reached the hall, tears burned her eyes and she rushed down the corridor toward her room, afraid that the tears would fall freely before she could reach the shelter of her bedchamber.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Julian sat in the carriage with his wife as they traveled to town, but instead of feasting on her beauty, he watched out the window. When he’d first seen her coming down the cement stairs toward the carriage this morning, she looked absolutely lovely in her light-blue gown and matching bonnet. However, she frowned and would hardly look at him, which soured his mood even more. It hurt his heart to see her this way.
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