“I’m just peachy,” I manage to say to Zay in an even tone. Then, I shove away the pain inside my head and scoot forward in the seat, changing the subject away from me. “Now it’s your turn.”
He stares at me, completely puzzled, and it’s kind of a cute look for him, which is an interesting combination with how scary he looks. “For what?” he asks.
“To tell me what happened to your hands,” I say. “Because I’m pretty sure you didn’t have those cuts when I left the house last night.”
“I didn’t.” His lips twist into a dark smile as he leans closer to me. “I spent the night using a liar’s face as my own personal punching bag.”
I eye him over. “Are you being serious or just messing with me?”
“Does it look like I’m being serious?” he asks with an arch of his brow.
“Yeah, but you always look that way. In fact, I think serious is all you can do with that intense face of yours. Well, that and glaring. You’re really good at that.”
Zay seers me a nasty look while Hunter lowers his head inside the cab to look at us, strands of his hair falling across his forehead.
“Dude, my BFF is so awesome and like super clever,” he muses cheerfully.
Behind him, Jax wanders off down the driveway, his boots scuffing against the dirt at he puts his phone to his ear. He speaks too quietly for me to hear what he’s saying, and his face is a blank canvas, so I can’t even attempt to read him. Although, I doubt I could anyway.
Zay rotates forward in the seat again and mumbles, “Quit calling her your BFF.”
“Why?” Hunter asks with a twinkle in his eyes. “That’s what she is.”
“No, she’s not.” Zay pierces him a firm look.
Hunter keeps on grinning, but I swear I detect the slightest falter in his almost constant happiness.
“There are no rules against me being BFFs with our little raven,” he declares to Zay.
“Dude, you guys really need to stop calling me yours,” I interrupt with an eye roll.
Hunter casts a playful grin in my direction then looks back at Zay. “It’s so cute that she actually believes she isn’t ours now.”
Zay thrums his fingers against the top of the steering wheel, seeming worked up about who the hell knows what. “She needs to quit being ridiculous. She jumped; therefore, she belongs to us now, whether she likes it or not—whether we like it or not.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.” I cross my arms. “And that’s not a ridiculous thing to say. It’s not normal to belong to someone, especially when you don’t even want them to belong to you.”
Hunter looks at me like he finds me absolutely entertaining. “First of all, we do want you to belong to us. Zay is just full of shit. And second, when you’re in our circle, you will belong to us.”
I start to tell him that I’m not technically in their circle, but Hunter cuts me off.
“You’ll officially be in it today after you take the oath.” The edges of his lips curve upward. “And then you’ll belong to us, and we’ll belong to you. That’s how it works, little raven.”
“Then, doesn’t that mean you guys belong to each other, too?” I question with a snarky grin, figuring that’ll get them to stop, that these tough-ass guys won’t want me saying they belong to each other.
But Zay says nothing, while Hunter merely shrugs.
“Yeah,” he says, unbothered.
Well, okay then …
I rack my mind for a better comeback but come up blank.
Damn, I really need to start eating breakfast and drinking coffee in the morning to wake myself the hell up. The problem is, nine times out of ten, my uncle is in the kitchen, and I’d rather starve and be deprived of caffeine than willingly go into a room that he’s in.
“It’s part of the rules,” Hunter adds with a lopsided grin. “That we belong to each other.”
“What other rules are there?” I ask, remembering how they mentioned rules several times yesterday, yet only one was specified.
“A lot of other stupid ones,” Hunter sulks but then wavers. “Well, not all of them are stupid. But the new ones Jax made up last night are.”
“Do I get to know these rules?” I ask, shifting in the seat. “Or are you guys gonna just keep on tiptoeing around them?”
“Yeah, you get to know them.” Jax appears by the open door. He nudges Hunter out of the way, ducks his head into the car, and then slides into the seat beside me. “Because you’re going to follow them, too.”
My brow teases upward. “I don’t remember ever agreeing to that.”
He reclines in the seat. “Being in this car means you’re agreeing to it. It also means you’ve agreed to be in our circle.” He says it like that’s that and there’s no arguing. Apparently, he’s never been around a girl like me before.
I rotate in the seat toward him. “I never asked you guys to pick me up this morning.”
He stares at me without a drop of emotion in his eyes, which makes his gaze unnerving. I refuse to look away, though, even though he’s making me feel kind of squirrely.
He might be the hardest person to read ever.
“You know what? You’re right.” With his gaze welded to mine, he slams his hand against the back of the seat right as Hunter is leaning it back. Then he shoves it forward.
“What the hell, Jax?” Hunter gapes at him as he jumps back out of the car.
Jax’s gaze remains welded to mine and I notice his eyes are a bit bloodshot.
I wonder if he’s high too?
“If you don’t want to ride with us, then get on that bus,” he says. “I think it stops at the end of the driveway. Am I right, Zay?”
“I’m not sure.” Zay picks up his phone from off the middle of the seat. “I can look it up.”
I know I should just drop it and be grateful I don’t have to ride the bus, but their bossiness drags the stubbornness out of me.
“You don’t need to look it up, Zay. I know where the bus stop is.” I keep my gaze on Jax as I signal for him to move out of my way. “Let me out. I’ve got a bus to catch.”
“Stubborn fucking girl,” Zay mutters, tossing his phone onto the seat beside him.
Jax stares at me for a beat. “Fine. If you want to get out, then get out. No one’s stopping you.” A challenge glints in his eyes as he remains where he is and crosses his arms.
And I desperately want to win that challenge. I’m not even sure why, other than I hate being bossed around. It’s become my life, and I’m getting so tired of it. Tired of being controlled. So, lifting my chin defiantly, I kneel up on the seat, turn around, and swing my leg over his lap to climb over him. When I smack my head on the roof, I grimace.
Smooth, Raven. Really smooth.
But I keep going, moving farther over Jax’s lap.
Hunter watches the scene from outside the car with sparkling curiosity. “Little raven, what’re you doing?”
“Getting out of the car.” I shift my weight forward but end up smacking my head on the roof again. “Dammit.” I sink down on Jax’s lap and rub my head.
So much for being smooth.
Jax suddenly takes a sharp inhale of breath and clamp his hands down on my sides, kind of roughly. It might be the first kinda, sorta emotion I’ve seen from him. Although, I’m not sure what it is. Surprise? Shock? But why?
I may have tried to decipher it—stupidly probably—but when he wraps one of his hands around my fresh, new wound, I suck in a shallow breath and clutch the back of the seat as pain scorches through my side.
Jax immediately loosens his grip on me and slides his hands down to my hip instead. Then he picks me up and deposits me back onto the seat beside him.
“Get in the car,” he orders Hunter. “Now.”
Hunter’s gaze shifts from me to Jax. “Sure thing, big brother.” But he appears a bit confused as he moves to get into the passenger seat.
“No, Hunter, don’t get in,” I try to sound as demanding as Jax. “I need to get
out first. The bus is gonna be here soon.” I push past the pain and slide toward Jax again.
He snaps his arm out in front of me, barricading my way out. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell us what happened to your side.”
“Nah, I’d rather not.” I flick my wrist in a shooing motion. “Now, come on; move out of my way so I can get out and you guys can go back to only belonging to each other.”
He stares at me, unimpressed. Then he slants forward, blocking my way even more, that challenge reflecting in his eyes again.
I scoot closer to him, pressing my knee into the side of his thigh. Still, he doesn’t budge, so I inch closer until my leg is practically on his lap.
“For the love of God,” Zay groans in frustration, his head bobbing back. “Will one of you just give up?”
When neither Jax nor I move away from one another, Zay grumbles a few choice words then rotates around in the seat, his gaze landing on me. “Princess, just let this go or we’re gonna be here all damn day. Jax is a stubborn bastard. Even worse than me.”
“You’re not that bad,” I inform Zay, but keep my gaze fixed on Jax. “In fact, the last time I tried to challenge you, it worked in my favor.”
“How do you figure?” he asks, sounding perplexed.
My lips quirk as I flick a glance in his direction. “ ’Cause I’m the one who sat in your seat during class, didn’t I?”
The muscle in Zay’s jaw pulsates, and Hunter chuckles under his breath, while Jax presses his pierced lips together. If I didn’t know any better, I’d guess he was struggling not to smile. But at this point, I’m catching on that he might never smile or react with any other emotion besides demanding indifference, if that even makes any sense.
“You didn’t win that challenge,” Zay disagrees, sliding his arm across the back seat. “I won it when you jumped off the bridge.”
I lift my brow. “I thought you said you guys didn’t really want me to jump? That you were just trying to scare me?”
He leans closer to me, his eyes darkening. “We didn’t want you to jump. But you did, and now you belong to us …” His lips kick up into a smirk. “So, who really won?”
“I don’t. Belong. To you,” I stress. For reals, though, how many times do I have to say this before they understand? “And even if I did, I wouldn’t necessarily consider that winning.”
A smirk pulls at his lips. “You’re right. You’re way too much of a pain in the ass to be a reward.”
“Exactly. So how about you guys let me out of the car and we can forget yesterday happened?” Deep down, though, in a place I didn’t even know existed, I feel this weird, raveling sensation, like my stomach is winding into knots.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Jax says. “So stop arguing.” I part my lips to retort, but he places a finger over them, something he also did to me yesterday. “Stop. Arguing.” He gives me a stern look before lowering his finger and slanting back in the seat. Again, he doesn’t give me any time to protest, moving right along to his next order. “Now, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to tell us what happened to your side. Then, when that’s done and handled, we’ll go over the rules with you so that you know what you can and can’t do. And there won’t be any more arguing.”
Jesus, he’s bossy. And he does it with such confidence that I question if anyone has ever tried to defy him.
“I’m not a fan of rules. And I’m not really big on telling other people my personal shit,” I say, again thinking of that damn doctor I suddenly keep remembering. From what I can recall, he knew more about me than anyone else did, besides my parents. And what did he do to me? Well, from what little I can remember… I shudder, but shove the feelings down. Stop being weak, Raven. Stop feeling. Besides, whatever happened to you, you deserve, for killing your parents. For being a murder.
You don’t deserve to live.
“How about I just go get on that bus,” I say, figuring it might be for the better. “And you guys can go on with your lives, bossing other people around who will actually listen? Like Dixie May. She’ll probably be more than happy to listen to you guys.”
“Oh, I have big plans for your cousin,” Hunter assures me as he sits down in the front seat and twists around to look at me with a devious grin spreading across his face. “Big, fun, wild plans.”
“Good for you,” I say. But inside, it hurts a little. I’m not even positive why, other than I feel a bit betrayed that he might fuck her. But I have no right to feel that way. I know this. “If you want to fuck her, go ahead. Just don’t give me a recap. You should probably wrap it up, though. She gets around.”
Hunter stares at me unblinking then busts up laughing. “You think I’m going to fuck your cousin?” He points back at the house. “Her? Seriously?”
I shrug, super confused why he’s laughing so hard. “I don’t know why you’re acting like that’s shocking. Dixie May may be a lot of things, but she’s also gorgeous and flirty, and some guys apparently like that … She’s had a lot of boyfriends.”
Hunter rubs his hand across his mouth, I think to conceal a smile. Then he trades a glance with Zay, who gives him a wide-eyed, pressing look. Jax doesn’t remove his gaze from mine, but a pucker forms at his brows.
“What?” I ask defensively. “Why’re you guys looking at me like I’m crazy?”
Because you are, Raven.
A crazy freak.
Hunter trades another look with Zay then looks at Jax. “Can I answer this one, or are you going to? Because I’m not going to play the silent game with this. She needs to understand.”
Jax is a mask of control as he assesses me. “Yeah, I guess you can. Just make sure you choose your words carefully.” He gives Hunter a warning look then reclines against the seat.
Giving Jax a salute, Hunter shuts the door then everyone grows quiet.
“You guys are weird,” I state the obvious. “Is this how you usually act?”
Zay snorts a laugh. “Fuck no. That’s all you, princess.” He glances at me from over his shoulder. “Your stubbornness and inability to cooperate has us all messed up in the head.”
“Sorry,” I say unapologetically. “If I’m that annoying, you should let me get on the bus.”
He grips the wheel and shoves the shifter into reverse. “It’s not annoying. It’s just …” He trails off, backing the car up and turning it around.
Again, I’m left confused, which seems to be a reoccurring thing whenever I’m around them.
Silence skips by as Zay drives toward the end of the driveway.
Halfway down, Hunter looks at me again with a contemplative look on his face. “You wanna know why some guys want your cousin?” he asks. “And I mean, the real reason. Not your naïve assumption.”
“Hey, I may be a lot of things, but I’m not naïve,” I protest. “I’ve seen a lot of dark shit in my time. Like, way more than your average person.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” he agrees, crossing his arms on the back of the seat. “But I’m not talking about dark shit. I’m talking about sex, something I’m starting to wonder if you know anything about.”
I roll my eyes. “Again, I’m not a naïve idiot. I know what goes where and how to get it done.”
An amused smile plays at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, but have you ever had the what in your where? Or, in less naïve terms, a dick in your pussy.”
Zay shakes his head as he steers the car out of the driveway and onto the highway that leads to the main part of town. “What the hell, Hunter?” he mumbles.
“Careful,” Jax warns Hunter with an icy look. “Don’t cross that line.”
Hunter tries to charm him over with a dazzling smile. “Chill, big brother. I got this.”
Zay mumbles something under his breath again, and Jax presses Hunter with another cold look.
“I hope you do,” he warns.
Hunter just keeps on grinning as he then looks at me. He assesses me with a spark of mischievousness in his eye
s. “Have you?” he finally asks.
I get the feeling he’s trying to embarrass me, and he kind of is, but I’m not about to allow him to have the satisfaction of knowing that. So, I dig out my façade of indifference, something I can be quite good at when I need to. “Have I had a cock in my pussy?” I ask, carrying his gaze.
Delighted surprise flickers in his eyes. “Yeah, little raven, that’s what I’m eagerly waiting to hear the answer to.”
“Why does it matter?” I question.
He lifts a shoulder. “For a couple of reasons. One being so I can figure out how I want to explain this whole Dixie May situation that you’ve gotten all wrong.”
“I’m not wrong about guys wanting her,” I insist. When none of them make any effort to say anything, I let out a loud sigh. “Fine. You want me to say it, then I’ll say. Yeah, I’m a virgin. No one’s put their cock in my pussy. No one’s really touched me. No one’s ever kissed me … Well, sort of …” Memories try to rise inside my mind, but I stifle them. “But, so what? There are plenty of virgins walking around in this world. I’m not an anomaly.”
As soon as I end my rant, I want to kick my own ass.
What the hell am I doing?
Worse, no one says anything right away, as if I’ve shocked them all into silence. Even Hunter, which seems almost impossible.
Finally, Zay clears his throat and shifts. That seems to draw everyone out of their stupor spell that my stupid mouth seemed to cast over them.
Hunter eyes me over curiously. “So weird.”
“What is?” I ask defensively.
He shakes his heads, still looking at me the same way. “I’m just wondering how.”
“How what?” I wrap my arms protectively around myself and brace myself for whatever’s coming. I can tell something bad is about to happen.
He wets his lips with his tongue, a strange look of curiosity flashing across his expression. “How you’re a virgin.” He shakes his head. “Fuck, how have you not even been kissed before?”
“Actually, she said she sort of hasn’t been kissed,” Zay reminds him, his gaze straying to the rearview mirror and colliding with mine. “She never explained what that meant.”
The Raven Four: Books 1-2 Page 20