“I’m not giving up. You will see a doctor, we will fight this,” Mamaie said forcefully.
“Will it make you feel better if I agree to go for treatment?” Felicity asked, needing a sincere answer.
“Yes!” Mamaie nearly shouted.
“Very well, then. I’ll go. Just tell me where and when.”
Enthrall stood outside Felicity’s bedroom door, listening to the conversation inside the room. Felicity knew she was sick, and she believed she was dying. He leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. His heart was breaking, his soul crying out. No. No! He refused to allow her to die. He just couldn’t do it. He listened to Mamaie extract a promise from her that she’d go to a doctor, see what could be done. And he made a mental note to remember to kiss the old lady later for her efforts.
He stood there until they’d finished talking, and Felicity had finished her soup, then he hurried to his room, so Mamaie wouldn’t see him lurking in the hallway. He had preparations to make. Felicity would know everything about him before she woke in the morning. It was time for her to make a decision. He refused to watch her waste away any longer.
Felicity lay in her bed, the covers pushed down to the foot of it. She stared out of her window into the darkness, her mind wandering. She hadn’t meant to confide her fears about her health to Mamaie, but she’d been emotional, angry at Enthrall for not trusting her, and feeling poorly from being outside in the night air, and it had all just come rushing to the forefront. She’d not really thought about her health directly. She’d taken more of a ‘if I don’t address it it will go away’ kind of attitude. But it wasn’t going away, and now she’d admitted it out loud. And it seemed, she’d be going to the doctor soon. Then there would be no escaping it. Her attention was pulled away from the windows by a light scratching at the door separating her bedroom from Enthrall’s. Her eyes wandered over to the adjoining door, then back again to the windows.
Then a tapping got her attention, from the same door.
“Go away, Enthrall,” she called out.
The tapping stopped, but then a high-pitched sound, like metal being stretched or bent filled her room. Then the doorknob fell to the floor on her side of the door, and the door eased open to reveal Enthrall standing there. He said, “I can’t. I need to speak with you.”
Her eyes swung to his, and she sat up in bed. He’d broken the doorknob she’d locked against him. She prepared to dress him down with her words, but he was already dressed down. Literally. He wore nothing more than a silken pair of pajama bottoms. His chest, arms and feet were bare.
Felicity stared at him, completely at a loss for words. He was a beautiful man. Even in her anger, she had to stop to appreciate his beauty.
“I want to tell you all you need to know.”
Her eyes snapped from the contours of his chest to his eyes. “I no longer want to know.”
“That’s fine. But I need to tell you. So, I’m going to tell you, and you can do with it what you will.”
“Are you sure I’ll be able to handle it? Are you sure I’m ready?” she snapped at him.
Enthrall walked into her bedroom and approached her bed. “You could always deal with what I’m going to tell you. You are much smarter and much stronger than me. The problem is that if you reject me, I’m not strong enough to survive it. I was afraid to take that chance. I’m still afraid to take that chance. But I have no choice, now.”
“Why is that?” Felicity asked.
“Because I won’t lose you as a result of my own fears. If you won’t have me because of who I am, or because you fear me, so be it. But it won’t be because I’m afraid to face who and what I actually am.”
Felicity sat herself up higher in her bed, leaning back against the pillows stacked against her headboard. “Go on.”
“I love you, Lici. I’ve waited all this life for you.”
Felicity said nothing, but the knot in her throat threatened to have her in tears before he even got to finish his explanation. Her heart was pounding. He loved her. He. Loved. Her!
“Tell me,” she said in a choked voice.
He tried, he really did. But he just couldn’t find the words. Several times he started, then stopped, only to have the words drop off and no sentence completed. Finally he just looked at her as though she was the air he breathed, and with tears in his eyes, his red eyes, he opened his mouth so that she could see his fangs and raised his hands palms up with claws on their fingertips, to waist height, imploring her to see him. To really see him, and to hopefully accept him.
Felicity sat forward, were his eyes red? Then he opened his mouth and she saw his fangs. Her head cocked to the side, and she peered more closely at him. Then she slid off the bed and padded closer to him. Her mouth was opened in shock, and her heart was pounding. She ran her eyes over his hands where he still held them out from himself, waiting for her rejection, and the claws that now tipped their ends. At realizing he wasn’t going to reach for her, rather he was allowing her to look at him to see him without his own interference, she stepped even closer to him, looking up at him.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
Enthrall looked down at her, the still unshed tears in his eyes, knowing that he was an abomination. All he’d loved had cast him out when they’d found out what he’d been turned into. She’d be no different, and he couldn’t even blame her for it. He’d been turned into a monster.
Slowly Felicity raised her hand to his face, cupping his cheek. She moved her hand to his chin and used her thumb to trace one of his fangs. He didn’t think, his lips pursed and he kissed the tip of her thumb.
Felicity’s breath caught, remembering the dream she’d had of kissing his thumb as it traced her lips.
Enthrall heard her quick inhale and misunderstood it. “I would never hurt you, Lici,” he murmured, thinking her afraid of his kisses on her fingertip.
She shook her head. “I know that.”
She placed her other hand on the opposite side of his face and pulled his face closer to hers. “You are wondrously exquisite,” she murmured, right before she pressed her lips to his.
When she pulled back to look at him again, she giggled. He looked dumbstruck, and his chest was heaving.
“You don’t fear me?” he asked, stunned.
“Of course not. You’re just my Enthrall. Only better.”
“Better because I’m stronger than you thought?” he asked, wanting to be truly loved for just being Enthrall, nothing more, nothing less. Just Enthrall, as Carnage was loved for just being Carnage. He had a momentary flash of Carolena handing Carnage his meat and taking the fork from him, while telling him to just be who he was. He wanted that kind of acceptance.
“No. Better because you finally trust me. Better because you finally allowed me to see the real you.”
Enthrall placed his arms just barely around Felicity’s waist, but not quite enough to pull her to him in case she decided to keep a little distance between them.
He stared at her eyes while she looked her fill. She looked all over his face, touched his fangs, lifted one of his hands and ran her fingers across his claws. Finally, she ran her hands up over his chest to his face, once again taking his face in her hands. She smiled at him, wiped away the single, tiny tear that fell from his eye. Felicity stepped closer to him, pressing her body to his, locked eyes with him and whispered, “I love you, too, Enthrall. And I’ve waited all my life for you as well.”
Enthrall’s heart pounded harder than it ever had, the euphoria he felt was unimagined by any measure. He pulled her tightly to him. Realization that she loved him, him, his natural self, not who he pretended to be, swept through him, and he rejoiced in her arms, in her kiss. “I was so afraid of you not wanting me. Of you fearing me.”
“I will never fear you. You’re a part of my heart. How could I fear my own heart?” she asked, smiling up at him.
He lifted her from the floor and hugged her tightly to him. He turned, without a word, taking her b
ack to his room.
“Where are we going?”
“Back to my room. I’m going to tell you everything. Everything. I want you to know all of me, Lici.”
Felicity laid her head on his shoulder as he walked the few steps to his room, then kicked the door closed behind them to close them into the privacy of his room.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, kissing her head as he laid her on his bed.
“For trusting me. And for no more secrets, not ever.”
“Not ever,” he agreed.
Chapter 12
Enthrall settled Felicity on his bed, then retrieved the platter filled with cheeses, thin sliced breads and sausages, and of course, peanut butter and jelly spread on thin flat breads. He took a seat on the bed facing Felicity and placed the platter between them. “I made us some food to nibble on. And drink. I know you only had soup, so I thought maybe you’d eat a little more.”
Felicity smiled at the tray of food he offered her. “Peanut butter!”
“I know it’s your favorite. I even remembered the jelly you like with it.”
She grinned at him as she lifted the bread and took a bite of the peanut butter and jelly smeared across it.
Enthrall realized he left the tea across the room and rose to get it. He poured her a glass and brought it to her, placing the pitcher of tea on the bedside table as she took the glass from him.
He took his seat across from her again and at her offering, he leaned forward and took a bite of her bread. He’d not tried the mixture of peanut butter and jelly before. He savored it, thinking of the complex flavors floating across his tongue.
“I told you it was good,” Felicity said, popping what was left of the snack in her mouth.
Enthrall nodded. “It’s not bad. Try my tea.”
Dutifully, she sipped the tea he’d given her. “This is so good! Better than the tea Mamaie forces on me constantly.”
Enthrall smiled, glancing down at the food on the tray. “This one is sarsaparilla tea. The root grows near my home. The other is a concoction that Mamaie has put together to try to help you build up your strength. Do you know what it’s made of?”
“Herbs?” Felicity said. “Each time I ask, she just says, ‘It’s good for you, drink it.’”
“It is herbs, and a bit of blood.”
At Felicity’s surprised expression, he elaborated. “My blood. Mamaie decided that certain qualities my blood carries could possibly heal your illness. She’s been mixing a bit of it into your tea.”
“And you thought this was okay?” Felicity asked incredulously.
Enthrall answered her with more emotion than he meant to convey. “If it helps you regain strength, if it makes you healthy again. Anything is okay.”
Felicity sighed, understanding both his and Mamaie’s attempts to heal her. “And since you’re not exactly human, she hoped that your blood would bolster mine.”
“Exactly.”
“The two of you are in cahoots. Always planning to take care of me in spite of myself.”
“We both care about you very much.”
She reached out, picking up a slice of cheese and sausage, and nibbled on it. “Tell me about you. Everything. How you came to be the way you are.”
Enthrall watched Felicity seeming to struggle with giving a name to his very being. “Say it, Lici.”
“Say what?”
“What I am. Say it.”
Felicity met his eyes, “You’re Enthrall. A man.”
Enthrall shook his head. “You are avoiding the issue.”
“No, I’m not. I see Enthrall. That’s all.”
“I’m a Vampire, Lici.”
Felicity watched him for what seemed like long moments before shaking her head. “You are Enthrall. You’re a man. And you are my man. That’s all that matters. Vampire is just part of your nature. Like being an attorney is part of mine.”
Enthrall laughed. “Attorney is a chosen part of your nature. Vampire was not my choice. Though it is who I am now.”
“Tell me.”
Enthrall nodded, but there was a noticeable pause before he finally found his voice and began to speak. “My name was Ezekiel. I was born into an influential family in the late 1600’s. My family was very religious, devoutly Catholic. As I grew older, began to come into my own, I resented the limits placed on me by their beliefs. I was never a stupid male, but I was very proud. I believed I was meant for bigger and better things than simply following along with my father’s plans for his children’s lives and settling down with a family of my own. I was not the eldest, and at that time all the land and fortune of the family was passed down to the eldest son. I didn’t care really. I didn’t want to be saddled with the responsibility that came along with it — I just wanted the freedom to follow my heart. Which I did with gusto. When I was seventeen years old, after several particularly embarrassing episodes of drink which left me face down in the street, and rather notorious visits to the town brothels, my father presented me with a proposal which would save the family any further embarrassment and serve my need to expand my horizons. He’d arranged for me to go away and further my education. It meant that I’d be separated from the family for years, and they’d be separated from any further stains on their reputations if more tales of drink, women and debauchery surrounded me.”
Enthrall smiled sadly, before raising his eyes to Felicity’s. “I was not always a good man.”
“You were a boy, and I don’t believe that for a second.” She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “Go on. Tell me the rest.”
“I was sent to a monastery in France. There I was assigned a bed in a dormitory and given a rigorous schedule of classes and training to follow. At first I was appalled. It was worse than anything I’d endured at my father’s outrage over my behavior. But then I realized that if we met all our requirements, the brothers there tended to turn a blind eye to our weekend behavior. We were allowed to come and go as we pleased as long as our chores were done, and our studies completed and mastered, and we were present and accounted for at Mass on Sundays. So I did what was necessary to earn the weekend privileges I lived for. Almost before I realized it, it became apparent that I excelled in certain studies. In fact, I enjoyed the challenge presented in studies of the legal system. It wasn’t long before I began to find loopholes in the laws we studied, and I became known for finding ways around punishments for those who broke the law — only with minor infractions, of course. Those in and around our dormitory would come to me to represent them when brought up on charges they’d broken the rules of our school. They wanted me standing beside them when facing the headmasters’ and the students’ tribunal because I could find a way, a loophole for dismissal of just about any infraction they could dream up. I loved out-thinking the powers that be. I loved using their own laws and rules against them, and to free my friends from any punishments they may have deserved from their ill-thought-out behavior. I was good at it. After I completed my studies, I became an attorney and eventually made my own fortune. My services were in high demand by those in power in and around France. I spent years making a name for myself, and I’d become known as the one to go to when you were in need of an attorney who could win you an innocent verdict even when guilty. And with my successes, my own vices grew. I was drunk on my own ability, my own pride and a total disregard for any who thought to judge me.”
Felicity moved the platter of food aside and snuggled closer to Enthrall, who was still holding her hand in his. She leaned her body against his and listened to his story.
“I’d been working long hours, drinking my meals, spending time with so many different women that most times I didn’t know one from the next. And I’d spent the carnival season living each vice I had to the fullest — it was after all the season for such things. But I was becoming a victim of my own vices. I’d grown tired of the people, the lifestyle and the emptiness that grew inside me. The day after carnival, early in the evening I woke in
the shadows of an unfamiliar bedroom, with the limbs of more than one female tangled with mine. I looked around myself in disgust. I had no memory of what I’d done, or who I’d done it with. Somehow I’d lost me along my way to find my place in the world. I was lonely. I was empty. I wanted to go home, and I had no one to blame for my predicament but myself. I left and wandered the streets in the early evening hours until I found myself outside the cathedral. I looked up at the spires rising above the church and felt the first calm I’d known in months. I pulled the door opened and went inside. I was intent on making my confession, and later that evening I hoped to try to compose a letter to send to my family. I wanted to go home.”
“You’d grown up,” Felicity said.
“A bit too late,” Enthrall answered. “I was a grown man. Many years past youth, and I had nothing to show for it beyond a total fall from grace.” He huffed. “And a wealth of fortune. Which ironically meant nothing to me anymore.” Felicity brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. He smiled sadly at her before continuing with his story. “When I entered the chapel for prayer, I was immediately enveloped by the peace that descended on me. I took a seat in the back, behind all the filled rows of the faithful that had come for the ashes given out to the repentant on that holy day. I sat for a long time after the service ended and most had gone, just breathing in the scent of the candles, the incense the priests used in their services. I watched as people like me, who’d lost their way and were struggling to find their way back, wandered in, whispered their prayers, accepted their ashes and then went on their way.
I sat there for I don’t know how long. Then I rose and entered the confessional. The priest slid the partition inside the confessional aside and offered the standard blessings and invitation to confess. I began to speak, and the priest looked at the screen separating us. His eyes grew large and he crossed himself, then began shouting his prayers in Latin. Soon I realized he was condemning a demon to the fires of hell. I didn’t understand, but his shouts were bringing others to the confessional. I panicked and opened the door to get away from the overzealous priest and when I stepped into the church from the confessional, a gasp came from those gathered there. They crossed themselves and jumped back away from me. I ran, thinking them all insane. I ran from the church with them behind me shouting their prayers after me.
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