by Chris Mills
Kodon
Chris Mills
Copyright © 2018 Author Name
All rights reserved.
Dedication
For my wife, Sarah. In the darkest of times, she always believed in me. Without her support, Kodon would have never made it this far.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter One
When the ladder caves and you find yourself falling, time doesn’t slow, nor after you land. You are left to deal in real time. They say things will get better. They say it will be like normal again. The fact is, no, it won’t be close. Things have shifted and no matter how much you pretend things are normal, you are left with reminders. You can’t escape what happened or what all is to come. You will walk the path. You cannot turn back.
The sky lit once more. The ground shook from the fear above. The awning swayed in the wind. The rain streamed over like a waterfall. A sensor dared not let it extend further. Once more the sky grew bright. Stephen Jones found peace outside his parents’ home - feeling the anger of nature itself. Could it be more than his own?
The sky lit. Stephen couldn’t count a second before the thunder shook the area. Lexville, Ohio, had a few terrible storms year-round, excluding the snows of winter. His ears caught the generators humming steadily. A propane tank in the yard had been installed along with the generator two weeks after a terrible storm when Stephen was in high school.
The patio door slid only a little. A woman in her mid-thirties leaned her head outside. Her eyes caught another bolt. “You need to come inside,” she said. “There’s an alert for…”
“I know,” Stephen snapped.
“I must -”
“A little longer,” Stephen said sternly. Trina nodded her head. The soothing coolness faded with that. His father had always kept the house a steady 71 degrees, and Stephen hadn’t thought to mess with the original programming when he arrived.
Stephen was twenty-five, fresh from obtaining his Master’s degree. He had hoped to be close to his new school. The full ride had been gracious. All he had to do was teach a couple courses. The more he thought on it, it felt like he was holding the ashes of that contract to that signed future.
Crash! Stephen’s somewhat good hand tightened on the wheel of his chair. His dark blue eyes caught another bolt. Jeez. Wind whipped through his black hair. It had come to a mess of curls and twists. His hair used to look good wild. He could now probably pass for a bum on the street.
“That’s enough,” Trina said. Stephen’s hand barely could resist the turning wheel. Cool air covered him. His chair neared his father’s throne. He gritted his teeth. His foot finally left the ground. The cushion felt nice. Why did it have to be this chair?
“Could I get some water?” Stephen asked.
“Sure,” Trina said. “Ice?”
“Yeah,” Stephen said. He rested his head back. The home had an unusual silence to it, unlike in the past when he alone visited. He had never had the luxury of a brother or sister, nor cousins to come and visit. It still felt warm back then.
The home was only a bit older than Stephen, built by his father a few years before Stephen’s birth. It was to be the home his father took his bride their first night before their journey to Hawaii the next day. He did well. His father had several friends that knew more about the means to construct a home, as well as a professional contractor who was one of his best friends before meeting his fate in a motorcycle accident years back.
“I can do it,” Stephen spoke quick. His struggle was short. Why couldn’t his hand do as he told it? Trina, his caregiver, held the straw for him to sip.
“It’s good to see you determined,” Trina said with a smile. She had darker skin and a full heart. “Keep positive.”
It was day one here, and Stephen hoped Trina wouldn’t have a different side to her. The idea she brought of him sleeping in the master had really irritated him earlier. “Have they called?” he asked.
“When we spoke before,” Trina said. “I sent Gabe a text again. I don’t think -” Something outside didn’t sound like thunder. Trina was quick to the window. “They should have waited it out.”
“It’s nine-thirty,” Stephen said. “They wouldn’t have waited till tomorrow.”
Trina sighed. “Bless their hearts,” she said. “It’s nice to come see you at home.”
“This isn’t my home.”
“Don’t keep saying that.”
Knock, knock; quickly they came and once more. Rain blew into the home. A woman rushed inside, closely followed by two men, a hand on the other shoulder. Stephen hadn’t expected his friend Andy to be here tonight.
“Jeez, the weather,” Kim said. She brought her hands back through her ash brown hair. A glob of water joined the tiny puddle beneath her feet. Still beautiful and Gabe was lucky she had said yes to him. She was pencil thin with little bust which took nothing from her beauty. Her ocean blue eyes lit at the sight of Stephen.
“Man, what a mess this is making of your driveway,” Gabe called. He kicked off his shoes in the entryway. “Paved and still a mess when it pours.”
“Or snows,” Andy added. Gabe led Andy to the couch in the living room. Andy’s hand felt over the armrest slight before he sunk down. “How are you, Stephen? He is in here, right? Don’t make me look stupid again, Gabe.”
“Very funny,” Gabe said. “Yes. How are you, Stephen?”
“How does it look?” Stephen said.
“I wouldn’t know,” Andy said with a grin. It faded quickly. He leaned forward. “How’s the home treating you? Too many cobwebs?”
“No,” Trina assured. “I cleaned only a little. Stephen, I’ll be in the study if you need me.” She had taken the futon in his old father’s study. It was comfy, and she had a nice size TV for her entertainment, when she wasn’t with him.
“Thank you for being here,” Kim said. Trina nodded. It wasn’t like Trina really minded. She got a paycheck. “How are you?”
“Disabled,” Stephen said.
“Please be serious,” Kim said. “How is it being home?”
“Like it has been since my senior year,” Stephen said.
“Oh.”
Kim pulled at her hair lightly. She found a seat by Gabe on the small love seat by the fire. The furniture was old yet well kept. It helped when no one sat on it much for the years past. Even the TV, which was a plasma and an early generation, looked great. His father had bought it and spent a good deal to have such an entertainment space.
The silence crept on. Stephen suddenly groaned. He tried to hold his left wrist through the brace. Pain pills didn’t help it much right now. He found Kim at his side. He quickly shook his head. “I’m fine,” he assured. “I deal.”
“I don’t like to see you in pain,” Kim said.
“Then you surely didn’t want to see me back then.”
“Stephen,” Gabe spoke, “she’s trying to help.”
Stephen sighed. “I’m fine,” he assured. “Thank you.” Kim’s hand came close to his, only to retreat. She sat back beside her fiancé.
“Your leg,” Gabe said. “Uh, you n
ever told me what they said.”
“I don’t know what they are going to do,” Stephen said. A lie - yet not. He knew but didn’t want to be certain. “It’s how I landed. I am surprised they sent me home.”
“They can’t keep you there.”
“The university was paying,” Stephen said. “They -” He dare not say another word against the school that had given him much. “I don’t want to be here.”
“Your dad would be pleased to know you’re here,” Andy said. “This home is his way of still being here for you since -”
“I was seventeen,” Stephen reminded. “It was a long time ago.” Somehow, he still felt like he came back from the hospital with his grandmother when he recalled those painful memories.
Stephen’s father, Caleb, was a strong man. A portrait of him and Stephen above the fireplace mantle showed him in his prime. It had been back when Stephen was 16 and before the pain. They had gone on their own vacation. Up the portrait went to replace the one that had his mother when he was younger. She too had passed but not like his father who suffered for longer. The collision - hopefully - was a quick death for her.
“He’s watching over you,” Kim said warmly. Her smile helped a little.
Watching over? Hardly, Stephen felt. No god would have done this to Stephen after he already dealt with his father’s death, his mother’s, and his grandmother’s extreme Alzheimer’s disease. He couldn’t visit her right now, and she would again be afraid of this foreign man she cared for a little after the loss. Where was this god to stop the cycle?
“What did they say?” Andy asked a bit curiously. “With your leg? I know last -”
“I don’t know,” Stephen said again. His right hand stung as he clenched his fist. Why did it have to be both wrists? His left had been shattered; his right spared with a merciful green-line fracture. The brace was light, and only a screw helped him heal.
“Okay,” Gabe said. “We aren’t meaning to upset you. Your last text was -”
“I can barely text. I have to do the stupid voice to text thing.”
“Stephen, I’m sorry. Try to calm down.”
“They said they may have to fuse it,” Stephen vented. “Oh, it’s not like I was a step away from getting that damn contraption with pins sticking in me. Now I have to deal with this. I can’t have a limp.”
“You still will be able -,” Kim began.
“Stop,” Stephen said. He heard the same thing spoken many ways. “You don’t get it. I loved going to the gym. I like morning runs. I like walking. I even considered teaching some classes with a friend of my former sensei.”
“You still have your career,” Gabe reminded. “They won’t care about that if you go to space.”
“Like I was ever going to space,” Stephen muttered.
Once more the silence seemed to linger a bit long. Why did Stephen close his eyes that high up? He had to have closed his eyes. One moment he was up and the next he saw the ground. So much for him trying to help at the youth center. He hoped they melted that ladder down. Any higher and he wondered what the fall would have done.
“Um,” Kim spoke, “Megan wants to know how you’re doing. Should I text her? I didn’t want to unless -”
“No,” Stephen said. That relationship was dead and buried. It wasn’t fair for her to feel when he didn’t feel the same, no matter how much their relationship had seemed to progress.
Megan had graduated this year and worked as a nurse at an ER. She’d have loved to take care of him. Stephen met her when he was a junior, she a freshman. She had left and he didn’t know she had actually come back the next semester. They bumped into each other at the end of his first year of his master’s program, and while he only wanted to be friends, as much as they hung out, he did grow to care. One day, she felt like it was like they were dating because they saw each other all the time and so it was. It hardly seemed right now and bringing her in brought a fear he knew would happen; he’d settle for her, possibly for life.
“Are you allowed to drink?” Andy asked. He had three sets of eyes on him quick. “Uh, sorry. Seems like you need one.”
“Trina wouldn’t allow it,” Stephen said. “I, I want a tall glass. It’s not good.”
Stephen had two heavy painkillers Trina could give him. It had helped some in the hospital, till he started getting sick on one. He had Norco that did its thing but not as well. It was pain or get sick. Drinking was dangerous right now. He might as well wheel out into the storm if he would make a stupid decision like that.
“Do you want to be alone?” Kim asked.
“No,” Stephen admitted quick. It was unfair to snap at them. They had driven through the storm which felt like him. These were his best friends. College friends never competed, and he hadn’t really heard much from them other than “I’m sorry.” Sorry for what? Saying you’re sorry sounded like you were apologizing for not knowing what to say.
“I think when you are feeling up to it in the coming weeks, we should take you out,” Gabe said. “Maybe that would help.”
“I have a consultation in a couple days,” Stephen said.
“So?” Gabe questioned. “Wouldn’t stop you.” Stephen would prefer that people not see someone who could barely feed himself. He had to push himself for even that. Trina had to do everything for him - everything.
“Uh, sure,” Stephen said. “Ma’s sounds good.”
“I’d go now,” Gabe chuckled.
Ma’s wasn’t the name of the Italian joint in Lexville. Many of the locals called the woman Ma, and everyone referred to her place as that. Lexville had little to offer to eat besides that, a diner, a McDonalds, and Wendy’s. In the past if they hadn’t gone to Ma’s, it was the rundown drive-in, which was a lot nicer supposedly now, or the two-screen theater downtown.
“She’d serve you whatever,” Kim said. “Even Mexican.” Stephen managed to chuckle. Ma knew Stephen’s father well. Her oldest son had met him in college. She’d probably come over right now if she knew Stephen was like this, claiming he needed a good meal.
“Are you cold?” Gabe asked.
“No,” Stephen said. “I shake now.”
“I’m not sure if you are joking or -”
“I have metal in me,” Stephen said. He took a long breath.
The fall had spared Stephen’s right leg. It had gotten a bruise. Describing the feeling of this was something others couldn’t get. Not the same or not normal would have them scratching their chins and asking for more details. All Stephen could say is it felt like someone had drilled and put steel wire throughout his body and at any point could tug. There it went again. His leg shook, a jolt tore, and he felt total worthlessness.
“I can get Trina,” Kim said.
“You called?” a voice came. Speak of the devil.
“I’m fine,” Stephen said.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay to take something for the pain.”
“I’m fine.”
The in-home nurse was all Stephen could manage. He had to deal with it. Trina stared for a bit before he nodded his head. It was getting late anyways. His old buddies would laugh if he called this late. He was up till midnight most nights. A bottle rattled. Two pills popped out and into Trina’s hand. Well, there went his wish of keeping those things out of him.
Don’t look at me.
Chapter Two
Company had been nice. Stephen grew to like Andy’s visits more. He worked as a support representative for a shipping service out of Chicago. His Associate’s degree helped, and he earned it mostly online with some coursework at a college close to where Gabe and Kim lived. He made his own hours, took calls, used a Braille keyboard, and special software to file reports. It was a little weird how he looked up an account.
Andy kept his folded cane in his lap. At this time of day, Stephen could only find soaps. He hadn’t bothered having the satellite renewed. The only thing this house had was Internet through the DSL link
on the roof, and it was piss poor slow out here. For 2011, he had hoped there was something else in the area.
“Did you want to talk about it?” Andy questioned.
“No,” Stephen said.
“Whenever you want to talk.”
Andy rested back on the couch. Deb, his mother, was the kindest woman he had ever known, yet Stephen wouldn’t want his own mother cutting his hair at their age. The buzzer was all she knew. Andy’s dark blonde hair had never been longer than half an inch in the time they had known each other.
Deb had been over once in the old red minivan she used for their carpool long ago. It had too many miles. Replacing it was out of the question. Nothing got replaced unless it was really dead. It explained the fridge and the TV that whined in the living room. They never had a lot of money. His father had run off when he was a baby and only now was trying to make amends, and his older brother was a druggy living in an alley somewhere.
Stephen eyed the papers on the end table. Trina had brought him back from the surgeon’s office two hours ago. Where she placed them, they had not come up. He sighed. If only he had said no to helping the center. His heart never could wean from something he could do to help.
“I think Kim is here,” Andy said. Stephen tried to listen over the poorly acted character of Margaret on the television, shocked once more by the betrayal of her brother and father.
Stephen found it humorous that in not a lot of time, two of his friends would wed. Gabe had been pointing out the new transfer student in high school when they were juniors. Kim was a year behind them, and Gabe did not make the greatest impression. Somehow, he managed to turn that around.
Knock, knock. Kim tried to visit every night if her evenings were clear, which they were. She worked under a therapist at a small clinic, and he had her taking clients when he wanted to be home with his wife. She made good money from what Stephen knew. Gabe’s marketing rep position would have the two searching for a home after their wedding in a few weeks. They’d have it now, but Kim’s mother was trying to still ignore the fact they lived together in an apartment and weren’t married.