My Life in Hell

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My Life in Hell Page 3

by Caitlin Ricci


  I took the time to have some more of my soda before I tilted my head back to look back up at him. "I don't see you running off to Balthazar right now, and you're not kicking me out of your house either."

  "No, I'm not. But this isn't going any further until your stepdad knows. Kisses, those are okay. Excusable even. But I want more from you than that."

  He was talking about wanting me, but he wasn't touching me. It wasn't right. "Then we'll talk to him right away. Come back to the house with me tonight."

  "No. I'm tired. Tomorrow. We'll talk to him tomorrow."

  *~*~*

  I wanted to go with Kirin’s idea. It should have been easy just to let Kirin take the lead in when and how we would tell my stepdad that we were together. I wanted to do that for him, for us.

  But then Balthazar was my stepdad and this was my mom, and I wanted to be the one to tell them that I was serious about someone. As soon as I saw them at home, I couldn’t help but open my mouth. I couldn’t keep this from them.

  "Hi," I said. He and my mom were in the living room watching a sitcom about two imps catching houses on fire and then blaming it on a dragon. My mom was laughing, and I really hoped she would still be smiling after what I had to say.

  She turned and smiled at me. "Hey, sweetie, you're home late. Did Kirin need you to stay a little later?"

  I shook my head. "Balthazar? Can we all talk for a moment?"

  He had the TV off and I was sitting with them both around me within a minute. "What happened? Did someone do something? Were they mean to you?" he demanded.

  "No. I'm fine. I..." Suddenly my throat was dry as I stared at them both. I took a deep, shuddering breath. "I like Kirin."

  Balthazar looked relieved. "Well, I'm glad. He's a good demon. I'm sure he's a great boss. You'll get a lot of valuable experience from him and—"

  "I want to date him," I cut in, correcting his assumptions. Not that I didn't think I'd learn a lot about dragons from him, and a whole lot of other things too, but I didn't want Balthazar to get the wrong idea about what I was saying. Not when I really needed him to understand exactly what I meant.

  He pulled back. My mom looked stunned. I just sat there between them, not knowing really what to say. "Guys? Please? Say something."

  "He's older," my mom hedged.

  "Balthazar is probably hundreds of years old or something," I said, rolling my eyes. Her excuse was lame, and I was pretty sure we both knew that.

  Balthazar cleared his throat. "I just... I don't know about this. He's my friend, and he's a good person, but you're so young and human and..." He trailed off as my mom turned to stare at him.

  "He's human, yes, what does that have to do with it?" she demanded. I smirked. But I wasn't smirking for long because then she turned to me, took my hand, and sighed. "Seth, honey, why don't you go upstairs while Balthazar and I talk about this."

  "I'm eighteen. You don't really need to talk about it. I'm not a kid and I don't need your permission," I reminded her. I was getting defensive, but I couldn't help it. I was an adult, and if I wanted to go date Kirin, I could and she couldn't stop me. I’d realised I wasn't asking her permission. I was sharing something important about my own feelings with them.

  "Upstairs. Now. Please." Her voice was strained, and I could see how hard she was trying.

  So I nodded. And I got up. "Okay. But if the answer is no, I want some actual reasons. Not he's older or he's a demon or something like that. Tell me I can't because he kills puppies or something. But I've been told what a good guy he is, so I doubt he's done anything like that."

  Having said what I needed to, I went upstairs and sat down in front of my window and looked out at the burning, smoking city that was Hell. And across town from where our house sat was the tower. I could just make it out through the rising smoke.

  I thought about Kirin over there, probably tucking the dragons in for the night and making sure they had enough hay and water to last them through the night until I got there in the morning, and I wondered if he was thinking about me too.

  Now that I was alone, I felt bad about the fact that I’d gone and talked to Balthazar after Kirin had said he wanted to wait till tomorrow.

  When my mom and Balthazar came up about an hour later, I was still sitting by the window.

  "We talked," my mom said. Balthazar nodded. My stomach got tight. My mom didn't look happy, and I hated that.

  "And?" I couldn't wait. I didn't have it in me to be patient while she found the words right then. "Just tell me if you approve or not."

  "I'm not happy about it," she quickly said. "But you're right, you're an adult. And it's not that he's a demon that makes me hesitate, and it's not his age, and it's not even that he's your boss and that would put you at an unfair disadvantage while at work."

  My eyebrows rose at that. I hadn't even considered Kirin treating me like that. Balthazar looked annoyed at even the thought of someone doing that to me too. I was glad he worried about me as much as she did, and I was glad to have him in my corner, but I still wanted them to treat me like an adult.

  "I did call Kirin," Balthazar said. "He wasn't happy that you'd come to us without him. I take it the plan was for you two to approach us together?"

  "That had been his plan. But I didn't want to hide it from you two until he could come join us. I'm not good at keeping secrets." I looked between them, and I wanted them to say something, but apparently there was no rushing this. "Can I date him or not?" I blurted out.

  "You can. But you have to live here, with us, for at least the next year. And you have to go to college. No dropping out for the first boy you love," my mom mumbled.

  "I won't throw everything away to be with him. We'll be smart, I promise. I know he will be my first real boyfriend, and I'm not going to run away and marry him or anything. I just want to date him and know that you two are okay with it and not have to hide how I feel about him or make up some stupid excuse when I want to spend the night over there or something."

  My mom gave me a smile. Balthazar hugged me. "Protection," he added on. "Use it. I'll go get you some from the store. We need milk anyway."

  "I'm good," I said. My laugh was both uncomfortable and yet greatly relieved.

  *~*~*

  The next morning Kirin was waiting for me outside of the tower. "You were supposed to wait until we told them together," he snapped.

  "I just… couldn’t wait."

  Kirin didn’t look at all pleased with my confession. "Next time I tell you to do something, you need to do it, or at least be up front if you can’t do it. You think this is going to make us dating any easier? He’s my friend. You and I are a demon and a human. There are going to be plenty of people here who don’t agree with us being together. Who will think I’m taking advantage of you."

  "But you’re not." I was an adult and we were dating. It was okay. I could see where he was going with this though, and I felt like crap for not telling them together like we’d planned. I felt bad for telling him one thing and doing the other without giving him a heads up. "I’m sorry. I should have waited for you."

  Kirin looked no less angry with me now. "Good. I’m glad you realize you made a mistake. You’re on dragon poop duty for a week. We may be dating, but this job, these dragons, come first, and every time you screw up, I’ll make sure that you get the worst of the jobs."

  I could handle that. "What about when you screw up?"

  He gave me a sly little smirk. "Then I guess I’ll be the one shoveling poop." He took my hand. "Can you agree that, for big things, we make decisions together, and we follow through with them together or not at all?"

  That was perfectly fine by me. "Sure."

  I wasn't sure how to approach him now that we were dating, so I went simple instead of jumping on him and smothering him with kisses. I didn't think that would go over well this morning, but I hoped there would be a time in our future when I could do that to him and he'd welcome it as well.

  This morning though I simply took
his hand in mine and leaned against his shoulder. There were half a dozen little shops all around us, along with a few scattered houses, but I didn't speak demon and all of the signs were written in that language. "I need to take demon. I'm apparently going to college down here as part of my conditions for being able to date you."

  "Good. If you want to pursue a career with dragons, I can give you a reference letter to get you into the program. They used to have many more jobs, but now they simply guard the gates between worlds."

  I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I did like working with the dragons. "I could work for you then. Long term I mean."

  "You could, if you enjoyed it." He steered me inside and instead of standing across the elevator from him, I stood beside him. And then I turned against him and kissed his collar bone. He was too tall for me to be able to kiss him without him bending down, but I was still able to lay little kisses over his throat.

  "You have work to do," he said as we got to the top of the tower.

  That didn't stop me from kissing him. "I didn't think dating you would suddenly mean I didn't have to take care of the dragons. Besides, I enjoy it. I like hanging out with them. And with you." Even though he still hadn't dropped his head down to let me kiss him.

  I was halfway out of the elevator when he changed that. He grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall. He seemed uncertain then, but I kissed him since he was close enough to me at that point. I pushed my hands into his hair and kept him close, and after a minute or two, he put his arms around me as well.

  He pulled back first. I hated that he was taller than me and that I couldn't keep him kissing me when we were standing. "The dragons need to be fed, and they've made a mess for you."

  I was sure they had. "Okay." There was no use arguing with him, so I went to work. I wanted to see the dragons, but I also wanted to spend some time with him. Thankfully he made both possible as he helped me do the morning chores.

  When it was lunchtime, I followed him into his rooms, where he sat me down beside the fire and then went to make lunch. Normally I just ate lunch with the dragons, if I bothered to eat lunch at all, but there he was, spooning soup into bowls for us and bringing me bread as well.

  "How did Balthazar react when you told him and your mom?" he asked as we started eating.

  I shrugged. "Not great, but I kind of expected that in a way. I mean, you're older, and you're a demon, and you're my first relationship technically. I mean, I've dated a few guys before, but my mom didn't know about them, and I definitely didn't tell him either. I'm not your first though, right?"

  "First human, not first relationship."

  I didn't mind that. I'd expected it actually. "Are we talking twenty? Or are we talking hundreds?"

  "Of demons I've gone on dates with or that I've had sex with?"

  Both were important to me, but one answer mattered a lot more to me than the other. "Guys you've had sex with."

  "My number is in the forties. What's yours?"

  I was nearly done with my soup, which meant it was almost time to get back to work. I wasn't excited about that at all. "None."

  I wanted to keep talking to him, and I liked being there with him, but his rule had always been that once I was done eating, I had to get back to taking care of the dragons. And now I was done. I got up and took my bowl to the sink. He was almost done, and he joined me while I was rinsing out mine.

  "Thanks for making lunch," I said as I took my time drying the dishes.

  He put his dirty bowl on the counter and slipped his arms around me. I put my bowl down as well and slid my hands over his. He went under my shirt, lightly grazing his fingers over my stomach and then up to my chest, where he gently played with my nipples. I'd done this before, for a little bit, but Kirin knew what he was doing. His feathery touches made my breath catch, and I was getting hard, even though he was hardly doing anything to me.

  "I don't want to be your first," he said as he lowered his hands from my chest. I was afraid he was going to stop touching me entirely, but he brought his fingers to my hips, then slipped his thumb under the band of my pants.

  "I lied. You won't be my first," I lied now. Anything to keep him from giving up on dating me before we'd even really begun.

  "How many demons have you been with?"

  That was a lot harder to lie about, especially since I was pretty sure most demons knew Balthazar so they probably knew me and I was pretty sure that they would know Kirin as well. Lying about having sex with a demon would be pretty much impossible. "No demons, but lots of humans."

  "Knowing your age, your stepdad and how protective he is of you, I highly doubt that." He sank his fangs into my ear, making me yelp and jump right back against him. "And don't lie to me again. I won't tolerate it."

  I shivered in his hold. Something about him saying he wouldn't tolerate something from me really turned me on. "Okay. I won't."

  "Now, again, are you a virgin?"

  I nodded. "Yes."

  He curled his fingers over my hips, and I felt him dig his fingertips over my hip bones. I turned to look back at him, and then I smiled as he kissed my shoulder. I wanted to feel his mouth against my skin, not just through my shirt, but it was good enough.

  "I can stay the night, if you want," I offered.

  It was the wrong thing to say, clearly, because as soon as I'd said it, he let me go. "It's time to get back to work."

  Sighing, I turned around. There wasn't much room between us, and I had to squeeze to be able to face him. But then he put his hands under my arms and lifted me onto the sink. He was between my thighs in an instant, and I opened my legs wide, giving him plenty of room to rub up against me, which he did, though not nearly enough as I wanted. When he pulled back, I was hard and sucking on my bottom lip.

  Before I could go though, he came back and kissed me. He was rough and I gave in to him instantly. I felt his fangs against my lips, and I opened my mouth for him. He cut my tongue and I didn't care. I tasted blood and I just wanted him more. It was weird and I would have never expected it from myself, but there I was with my hands in his shirt, refusing to let him go.

  Not until he covered my hands with his and pulled himself free. "Work. Now."

  I hated that he said that. I wanted to keep kissing him. But I wanted to take care of the dragons too. "Will you come with me?"

  He smiled at me, then kissed my forehead. "I have my own work to do. You don't think I'm sitting in here jacking off thinking about you working over there in the next room, do you?"

  I hadn't been, but now I was curious. "Are you?" I grinned.

  He rolled his eyes at me. "Go to work. Don't make me force you."

  "You would though, wouldn't you?"

  "Absolutely." He took my hands and pulled me off the counter. I went to work. I didn't really want to, but I did it at the same same.

  *~*~*

  At the end of the day I was done early and I stood outside of Kirin's door waiting for him to come out to say goodbye to me. He was late. Or maybe he was just on time. I didn't know, and maybe it didn't matter either. It was enough that he came out of his rooms and kissed me.

  He pulled me inside and then closed the door behind us. I went for his shirt. He went for my hands. "Don't stop me. Not again. C'mon." I wasn't above begging. Not when he wasn't being fair to start with.

  "I may be a demon, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to throw you over my shoulder and fuck you."

  I kind of wished he would. "Then what does this mean?"

  He licked his lips. I couldn't help it as I tracked the movement. I wanted to kiss him again. "Will you go out to dinner with me?" he asked.

  "Can we have sex first?" I couldn't help it. I wanted him.

  Kirin laughed. "You just don't stop, do you? I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don't just want you for tonight. I like having you around. I want to keep you that way. So let's do this right." He took my hand.

  I threaded my fingers through his. "Okay." I sucked at being patient, b
ut maybe he was right. Maybe rushing into this wouldn't be for the best. "But you do want me, don't you? Tell me it's not just me."

  "It's not just you." He said the words slowly. Maybe he was trying to make me realize he was trying to tell me the truth. I hoped I was right. "Where do you want to go?"

  I didn't want to go anywhere. I didn't even want to leave his bed until morning when I showered and went back to taking care of the dragons. But if we were going to do things the right way, if we were going to go slow, then I knew where I had to start. "We could go have dinner with my mom and stepdad. Show you off as my boyfriend."

  When Kirin smiled, his fangs showed. And when he kissed me, I felt great. Like everything in my life was perfect. Like nothing could go wrong. I was living in Hell, one of two humans free to walk around in a land full of demons, and I'd never been happier.

  That night after dinner, Kirin brought me back to his house. I could just barely hear the dragons many floors above us in the tower as they thumped around.

  Kirin took my hands and brought me to the couch. I loved kissing him. I loved the feeling of his fangs against my lips when he opened his mouth to me. He took off his shirt and I expected him to take mine off too, but he just held his hands on my hips. I slid over his lap and hoped he would take the lead, but he left me there, making me take my own clothes off.

  "Aren’t you going to help?" I asked him.

  "Not this time. Next time, sure. But this time it’s all you. Every decision, every action is all you tonight. Whatever happens here, it’s because you want it to. I’ll give you anything you want, but you’re leading us tonight."

  I didn’t want to take control though. I wanted him to strip off my clothes and have sex with me. But if this was how he wanted to do it this first time, I was game for it too. I slipped off my tshirt and Kirin immediately brought his hands to my chest. He played with my nipples, making me rub against him. I was eager, barely able to hold myself together as I ground myself into him.

 

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