The Connect Who Took My Heart Away 3

by Coco Shawndé

  “She’s not stopping by unannounced?” she smartly commented.

  “Nah, bae. I know how you felt about all that.” I said looking at her seriously. Dice stared at me, seeing I didn’t grow angry. I was damn serious about our relationship. I would do anything for her, and I was doing anything for her. Even a relationship I had swore to keep no matter what other person was in my life.

  “Thank you.” she said, closing the laptop. She stood up, and her fine ass frame was on display. “For understanding me.”

  Walking over in just some dri fit Nike shorts and a sports bra, Dice was thick as hell. Her toned body would have you thinking she stayed in the gym, but her ass didn’t do no type of exercise. She just was built to perfection.

  “I try to.” I said nodding my head. She sat on one leg as I stuck my foot into my right shoe.

  “One question though...why do you have to go there? Yosohn is here.” she squinted down at me. Rubbing her leg, I looked up at her.

  “Drop some money off. Tyrah’s position at her job closed down.” I revealed. This was Dice´s first time hearing it, and I had no problem telling her. I wish she had just trusted me to go, but I knew that wasn’t happening. I knew what type of woman I was dealing with, so getting mad about her ways couldn’t happen. I came honest, and that was all I could do if I wanted this as bad as I say. “Until she finds something else, I’m going to make sure everything over there is taken care of. Yosohn lives under both of our roofs.”

  “I’m sorry she lost her job.” she said, looking off.

  “Yeah, she been stressed about it. But I told her everything would be straight.” I answered.

  “Is Yosohn going with you?” she asked.

  “I was going to ask you was it fine with him staying? Him and C.J got practice today. They need to be close to ready once I get back.” I let her know.

  “Sure. Duchess and C.J here anyway.” she waved off. “Have you thought on calling Hilary?”

  My jaw grew tight just from the mentioning of her name. “No, I don’t think about calling, Dice.” I wished she would leave it alone. Over the past week, she popped the question at the most random times. Every time it came about, I could feel myself ready to explode with anger. I knew I was fucked up about my mother, but the more she invaded my brain, I grew resentment. I couldn’t imagine her in my personal space. I would go off on the deep end, and I knew it.

  “I talked to her.” she said, and my head shot to her.

  “DICE!!!!” I barked, standing to my feet, and pushing her to the bench so she wouldn’t hit the ground. That was how fast I jumped to my feet. She looked up at me, and she gave this look like what the hell you going to do about it? Dice wasn’t the normal laid back calm types. She was loud and vocal. Nothing scared this woman. Even with me standing above her like I was fucking hulk, I’m sure in her mind she felt she could beat my ass and drop me to the floor. That was just how confident and head strong she could get.

  “Hosea, you need to let your mother explain.” she said calmly.

  “Can you mind your business on this? Be on my side if you not!” I yelled, pointing at my chest.

  “I’m team you all day! Even when you´re not even on your own goddamn side!” she said, standing on the bench, so she could be taller than me. I guess her towering over me was supposed to mean something, and make me change my mind.

  “You’ll neva’ understand my heart being on ice with that woman. Your mother leave you? You mother look you in the face and blankly say she loved popping pills, snorting coke, and drinking more than you?? Your mother ever live in a house with you and went days like a zombie and just walking pass you like you were invisible?? She ever fake her own death for five fucking years just to be out of your life?” I asked, and put my head down with tears coming. “She didn’t want me, bae. I’on want her now. I went this long without a mother. What can she do for me now?”

  “She can do a lot if you give her a chance.” Dice said, pulling me by my chin and shirt. “Look at me...Ice melts, and then what are you going to do? I know it´s getting the best of you. Don’t give up on her. She’s trying, Zay.”

  “She ain’t try enough. Yosohn will never see me walk out on him. EVER! I don’t care what I face. My son, he put the breath back in my body when I’m fucking dead. Hilary ain’t no parent. She never been a mother.” I said shaking my head. “I don´t care to have closure or no bull shit like that. I’m a grown ass man. I know real from fake. Do me this one, leave it alone. She’ll eventually leave like she did me already. It’s cool.” I shrugged off, and grabbed my keys.

  Of course, Dice came shutting the bedroom door before I could walk out. She stood in front of me with her back to the door, looking me dead in the eye.

  “Why you pushing this shit, ma? It’s pissing me off, and I’m trying not to be on ten with you because you ain’t did me nothing.”

  “That’s right. Every time I see your head done, I’m picking it back up. Period! You my man.” she said, grabbing my wrist. “I love you...Hilary wasn’t a mother. That’s clear to err’body. No one is telling you to forget it, or you need to wipe your face about it. It hurts me to see you hurt. To see your heartbroken by this woman…”

  “She ain’t break my heart.” I said with an ice cold look.

  “Don’t you lie to me.” she said, pointing her finger in my face. “Don’t do it!” Leaning my head down, I was gone from all this. I was angry, bitter, and broken. All these years I was put on this high scale as the biggest connect in the Midwest that could make shit shake. Here I was having mommy issues, and my woman trying to break me out of this cage I had myself in. I went up against a lot in my life, but nothing like what Dice was demanding me to do.

  “She broke a part of me that I don’t want repaired. I can’t let it pass, ma. That’s what it is.” I replied, with a tight face.

  “You giving up on yourself right now. This isn’t for her. You´re not giving her a free pass by letting that hurt go. You’re freeing yourself. So, you can have something to give to Yosohn. So, we can be better.” she said, with her eyes glossing over. “You putting this mask on, and we all feel it. Yosohn can feel it. I think you should go to counselling...if you can’t face her.”

  “No.” I said sharply. “I won’t.”

  “If you won’t than-”

  “You’ll leave a nigga?” I asked her, and I couldn’t help how harsh I was becoming. I couldn’t stop it, so I let it form into tears.

  “No-No! Hosea, no.” she said, bringing my face back to her. She hugged me, and I fought against it for a short pause. Then, I just held my woman. “If you won’t go, I was going to offer to go with you. I wouldn’t leave you.”

  “You with me?” I said into the nape of her neck.

  “Yes, love.” she answered back.

  “That’s all I need then. To know you with me. But I can’t go to counseling. I’m sorry.” I said lifting her up off me. I opened the door, and this time Dice let me walk. Drying my face with my shirt, I ran into the kids downstairs.

  “Where’s Duchess?” I asked C.J and Yosohn. I guess they got hungry and decided to get themselves a snack. They were sitting at the counter, sharing a gallon of ice cream.

  “Up thurr, dad.” Yosohn pointed, and C.J just laughed.

  Turning my head, I took a deep sigh. “A’ight curtain climber.” I said directing for her to come down. She slid down, but jumped the rest of the way. It amazed me how she could even get up there or not be afraid. My high ceilings reached twenty feet. My drapes were just as tall to cover the windows.

  “C’murr.” I pointed to her. She did the walk of shame, and tried to get me with her pretty smile. “Why don’t you listen to me when I say it’s dangerous to climb?” Duchess didn’t just climb the drapes. Anything off the ground, she would give an attempt to. I was greatly surprised we hadn’t had any hospital visits.

  “It’s fun.” she said, being honest with me.

  “She was on the drapes?” Dice asked, coming from the ma
ster suite. She was dressed more appropriate since the kids were down here.

  “Yeah.” I said, scratching my head.

  “Duchess...you know what a gymnast is?” she asked my sister.

  “No.” Duchess said, in her own world as she got a spoon to eat with the boys. She had to be extra and get the biggest spoon, pissing the boys off that she was getting more.

  “Let me settle this.” I said taking the ice cream.

  “Daddd, that was ours.” Yosohn complained, frowning his eyebrows like I would do when upset.

  “My dude, you paid for this?” I said holding it up. “I’m about to get y’all right. I got some cones.” I said, getting them together.

  While I got the ice cream for the kids, Dice explained to Duchess what a gymnast was. My sister seemed interested, and I didn’t think it was a good idea. Why put her in a sport that’s only going to have her climbing more shit? I was trying to stop her, not turn her into the top furniture Olympian.

  “If we sign you up, you have to make a solid promise to me and your big brother.” Dice told her. “No climbing on the drapes. No climbing on the stair rails. No climbing at all unless it’s with an instructor.”

  “Really?” Duchess asked, with excitement in her eyes.

  “Really.” Dice smiled.

  “This backfire, that’s your hospital bills.” I let her know straight up.

  “She not going to have a pile of hospital bills.” she replied, rolling her eyes.

  “Oh, she won’t. I was meaning I was sending you thurr if my sister gotta go.” I said, pointing at her with the ice cream cone.

  “That’s a yes. Duchess you're going to gymnastics.” Duchess squealed in excitement for her. I was glad Duchess had something to look forward too. Everyone always boxed her out because of her differences. Dice was never like that. She treated her the same as her own son, and I loved that.

  “I’ll be back.” I said kissing my sister´s forehead, and then giving Dice a kiss. Taking a Core water, I dapped the boys up.

  “Can we go?” C.J asked, with ice cream coming down his chin.

  “No. You boys and you Duchess. Eat up the ice cream and get ready for football practice. When y’all get home, clean them rooms up, baths, and bed!” Dice ordered them.

  “Momma! We can’t eat tonight?” C.J asked, looking like he was ready to cry.

  “Boy, you gon’ eat!” Dice said waving him off, and putting Duchess down.

  “I’m out.” I said raising my water in the air. Heading to the garage, I decided last minute to pull out my motorcycle since it was decent outside. I needed the releases and the solo ride. Hitting it down the highway, I was arriving at Tyrah’s in no time. Sitting on my bike, I pulled up the compartment where my phone and money was.

  “You want to bust your head wide open there, sir?” Tyrah asked, coming from her front door.

  “I’on need no helmet. I been riding bikes since before I ever drove a car.” I smiled, speaking the truth.

  “Mister invincible.” she said shaking her head back and forth. “You coming in?”

  “Uh, nah. I got somewhere else to be. I got you though.” I said, counting out the stack of big faces. She came to the driveway, and I handed her the money.

  “Thank you, Hosea. It means a lot. The last thing I wanted was to come to you about these bills. You do your share, and more when it comes to Yosohn. I don’t want to be a baby momma that be asking for too much.” she said, with an innocent look.

  “It’s all good. Yosohn game next week…”

  “I’m there.” she smiled. “Thanks again.”

  “No problem.” I replied, and started my bike up.

  “Oh wait, Hosea...one more thing. Could you look at my house alarm? I think I pressed the wrong thing on it. It’s been acting funny.”

  “I’ll take a quick look.” I turned my bike off, and followed her inside. She showed me where it was stationed at on the wall, and I began to search for the problem. “What’s the code?”

  “5232.” she said, bent over reaching down into a box. I watched her tuck her hair back, and then she looked over her shoulder with a seductive gaze. She slowly stood up, and walked over to where I was.

  “You might have to call the people that installed it. I can’t get it to work.” I said, angry that she had got me in this house on some other shit.

  “It’s nothing you can do??” She begged, putting her hand on my chest and rubbing down to reach in my boxers. Clenching her wrist, I threw her hand off me.

  “Naw, nothing. I gotta go.” I said getting the hell up out of there.

  “Well, thanks.” she said to my back. I had no response, and just hopped on my bike before she came with something else.

  I couldn’t even go straight home. I went to pull up on the guys in the projects for a minute. It wasn’t often that I stepped out here, but when I did, I got all the love. Today was no different.

  “Damn, you coming like that cuz?” William said, dapping me up. Riding up on the sidewalk, I left my bike running as I gave him a fist pound. Still on my bike, he walked around, checking it out. “Basi just left.”

  “He did?” I said, knowing I ain’t miss him that quick.

  “Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t see him. The man just left. He on the slingshot. Y’all on the big boy toys.” he noted, still admiring the bike.

  Pulling my phone out, I called Basi. I let him know I was out here, and he was turning around just like that to swing back to chop shit up. William went to check on some bitch he was fucking, and I let him handle his business. Going inside the apartment building, it was under heavy surveillance with dogs in each corner. Getting them fed, Obasi walked in. He joined in with getting their water.

  “I ain’t know you were on the bike.” he said, running the faucet water.

  “Yeah, I decided to take a quick spin.” I told him.

  “I know that mean some shit been on you. What’s up my boy?” he asked, leaned up on the wall space.

  “My mother been alive over these last five years. Where, I don’t even know. She just showed up at Moss crib.” I revealed. “That’s all I know, and all I want to know.”

  “I know your mother ain’t nothing you would even joke about...but bruh?” he said, looking like I was the one to bring her ass from the dead.

  “Yeah, she here. And she gave me her number to call her, but I ain’t doing that. I let Dice in on it, and I regret that shit because she on my ass like I’m about to commit suicide or some shit. She going extra right now at the crib. No lie, I was fucked up. Still is.” I said honestly. “Hilary somehow talked to Dice, and tried to use her in order to get a sit down in.”

  “And, what’s up? Yo ole lady and top lady talking?”

  “Mane, it went well enough for Dice to come back at me after she kept it from me. I’on like that shit. I’m trying not to lash on Dice, because we good right now.” I said, smiling thinking about my baby. To think I almost let that attitude of hers define her fully, I was later introduced to the most amazing woman in my eyes.

  “Yeah, you be wanting them moments to last forever. I feel you.” he nodded, and I knew it was more behind his words. We stood in silence in deep thought.

  “You know Moss ass haven’t been returning my calls? I’ll send a message, and he’ll just say he’ll get back with me. He hasn’t been home, and not even at any of the casino locations.” I said, shaking my head.

  “Do that make you question everything?” he probed.

  “It does...like he´s hiding something. Moss wasn’t shit like my mother, but he did more raising. He tried, and it just never was to my expectations. I give him credit for that, but now...I think he had more to do with my mother's disappearance.”

  “When you ready, talk to your parents.” He said, giving me a brotherly hug. “We all make mistakes as parents. Whether small or big. You don’t have to punish Hilary or Moss. You see you man...you fucking shinning my dawg!!! You own fucking casino’s, and getting legit money! They see you.
I see you! The fucking world gon’ see you. Hilary and Moss, they gon’ have to come to terms, they had nothing to do with this come up you on. Elevation comes from destruction, breakdowns. You on your way up. You got a son you hurr for.” He encouraged.

  Nodding my head, I slapped five with my brother. We weren’t the type to be on the phone every day, or even on the scene together. We had a bond that was different. He was my brother from another mother!

  “Real spill, I needed this.” I said, pulling down on my chin hair. “What Miani up to? She still fucking with you?” I joked.

  “Mane, she cut up when I was at the strip joint.” he laughed.

  “You knew she was.” I said, not knowing why he tried it. I didn’t even try it with Dice. I saw her put one in Litto. I wasn’t trying to be next.

  “I got her ass together...we back gucci. I got her a nice whip to replace the one Ralph had her whipping.” he nodded.

  “That’s straight.” I replied. “You know I never got to tell you about that meeting. Dice and Litto had my attention heavy that night.” I started. “You know we were trying to venture into other options on getting the loads over this way. I met the man that owned the aircraft company...I ain’t know Ralph was who I was meeting with. His father had reached out to Moss before he died, so that's why I even entertained it. Moss might not always do good business, but he always made money. So, I knew if I took the meeting, I could do the business side. Get you in, and then we get that money. If we can move them loads quicker, that’s more money.” I added.

  “I hurr you on that, but that’s Miani´s Ex-husband. Fuck the money, I don’t need it if he on that shit. I ain’t telling you who to fuck with, but I’m saying I don’t want no parts. But get yo paper man.” he said, not sweating it. “Miani said he came to her for a loan, and to cut all ties.”

  “Mane, I don’t even know if I’m going to do the deal. Money good right now. I wasn’t sure about Murk and Hyatt after Dice interrupted the meeting, but they even came back to fuck with us. We doing something right...I don’t want to make a bad call by fucking with Ralph.”