But how could I tell her about Cade being my big client? Caitlyn was so down on her ex that I was sure she’d be angry to know that I’d taken Cade on as a client. It wouldn’t matter to her that Cade’s had never been abusive. He’d broken my heart sure, but he’d been a perfect boyfriend. That was why when he had abandoned me, it had hurt so much.
Being lost in thought, I didn’t realize that Caitlyn had stopped speaking and was looking at me, with one eyebrow arched. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
“No, I was!” I lied but realized how bad of a lie it was. I sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m totally distracted. I….”
I still didn’t know how to say it, so I just blurted it out. “I saw Cade today.”
Caitlyn’s mouth dropped open. “What?” she hissed, mindful of Drew and what he might overhear.
I nodded. “He’s the big client that I had a meeting with today. His mother was the one who made the appointment, and she was supposed to be there too, but her flight was delayed.”
“So, you were all alone with Cade? What happened? I need details!” Caitlyn’s eyes were wide with excitement, or shock…or both.
I replayed the day’s events to her, including how Cade had become more stylish and handsome since I’d last seen him and how it was kind of infuriating to me.
“Am I crazy to accept the job?” I asked once I’d finished. “It’s the opportunity I’ve been waiting for, and I feel like it’s too good to pass up. But I know taking Cade on as a client won’t be…easy.”
“You are a little crazy,” Caitlyn acknowledged. “But you’re also between a rock and a hard place. I’ve taken on some insane jobs, so I really can’t judge. And it’s not like he’s a horrible person. He broke your heart, yes, but there’s a difference between these things. I would just be…careful. You’ll be spending a lot of time with him if you’re planning this together. Don’t let your heart get stomped on a second time, okay?”
I nodded. “I’ll just keep my head down and get through it. And it’s not like I’ll be seeing him every day. I’ll have other clients too. And it’s a rush job, it’s in early September, so I won’t even have to deal with it for long.”
“Early September?” Caitlyn’s eyebrows shot up again. “Is he crazy?”
“Maybe. But think of the attention I’ll get for pulling off such a high-profile event in such a short amount of time.”
“As long as nobody expects you to be able to do it all the time, for every client,” Caitlyn warned me. “Are you sure you can handle this?”
“I’m sure,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure at all.
I had no idea what being around Cade regularly would do to me. I knew that some people who’d broken up had to still see each other at work, or with friends, but not me. We hadn’t had the same social circles either, so I hadn’t even heard anything apart from the occasional news clippings about his parents—which I had tried to avoid for the past decade.
While I was sure I wouldn’t fall for him again, I wasn’t sure how painful it would be for me to be so close and watch him wed another woman. Could I really handle it?
“Are you going to tell him about…” Caitlyn cleared her throat and glanced over to make sure that Drew wasn’t overhearing, “his son?”
“No,” I answered immediately. “Absolutely not. He can never know, especially now that he’s about to marry someone else. If he finds out it’ll ruin his relationship with his fiancé, and I might be angry with him, but I don’t want to sabotage his relationship. And it would hurt Drew, I mean…no. He’s happier without a father, without knowing Cade. When he’s older, I’ll tell him more, but I’m not going to disrupt my son’s life for a man who’s not going to stick around.”
Caitlyn sighed. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I sighed as well. “I hope so too. I’m not going to use this as an opportunity to tell him the truth and change our lives. This is just a job that will get me the access I need. I’ll get over with this wedding in four months and then Cade will go back to D.C., and my life will return to normal.”
Caitlyn nodded. I hoped that I could believe my own words.
5
Cade
Watching the sunset over the lake had always been a beautiful sight. I remembered sitting on the banks with Laura, or in the jacuzzi on the porch, watching the sunsets and enjoying the simple peace and joy I’d felt.
Laura.
Running into Laura again was the last thing I’d expected. It was as if my memories of her, my inability to move on from her, had called her back into my life. I just wished that I could turn my head and find her next to me once more, smiling the way she used to do. Some days, I had spent those sunsets staring at her more than at the sky.
It was stupid to hope, and yet, that fuzzy, champagne bubble feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away. Laura. Laura. The woman of my dreams was back in my life! How could I stop myself from thinking about her and wanting her? It was impossible.
You can’t have her, my brain reminded me, not that I’d forgotten this, but God, I was excited to be able to see her again, to spend time with her.
My phone buzzed with a text, startling me, and I nearly dropped it as I fumbled to get it out of my pocket. Jesus Christ, it was like I was a teenager again, making a complete idiot of myself over my feelings for this girl.
Ah, crap! Gray. Of course, he would call me though I’d forgotten about him in the whole wedding mess, and then Laura’s appearance. He was going to chew me out for being a crappy best friend and rightfully so.
Grayson, or Gray, as he preferred to be called, was only a year younger than I was, but we’d ended up being best friends in college and had become roommates. His father was a wealthy Hollywood producer, and his mom was an actress too. We’d bonded over the commonality and other things. While I wanted to have a career—just not the one that my father had picked out for me—Gray was content to live off of his trust fund and follow his whims. He took on acting and modeling gigs just for kicks, but got bored easily.
However, one of the few things he committed to ever was our weekly dinners. He was probably texting about that, but I’d completely forgotten to tell him that I was out of town.
Hey bro can’t meet for brew n’ chew not in DC.
Well, that was convenient. “Brew and chew” was what Gray liked to call our dinners. It was an example of the kind of person that he was. He’d been the party boy in college, while I had been the one keeping him from dropping out due to low grades or missed assignments. Whenever he’d asked me about my lack of interest in partying and getting laid, I’d always found some excuse or the other. How could I explain to him that I was in love with someone I couldn’t have, and that no one else could ever compare to her? If I tried to hook up with someone, I would be thinking about Laura the whole time. Instead, I’d made it seem like I didn’t want to do anything that would ruin my father’s reputation. After all, Dad was paranoid and had warned me about that kind of thing all the time.
I responded to Gray and let him know that I wasn’t in D.C. either.
Where???
I rolled my eyes and told Gray that I was back in Michigan.
Gray sent me a chain of emojis, of which I could understand only a handful, and then replied that he was in Detroit too. So, we could get together for brews and chews after all.
Next week, I texted. I have dinner with mom tonight.
As if my text had summoned her, I heard the front door of the lake house open.
Great. She’s here.
I saw Gray’s thumbs up emoji in response before I tucked my phone away and walked over to see what Mom was up to.
She had multiple shopping bags on both arms, her blonde hair swept up without a single strand out of place, and dressed in the latest designer wear. Her assistant was with her, a woman who completely idolized the great Melinda James. All her assistants started this way—they were young and thought Melinda James was amazing. Eventually, they
learned the truth and got sick of the long, hard hours, the constant pressure and Mom’s mood swings. Then, they would quit.
For now, Mom’s latest assistant was smiling and nodding along, taking the shopping bags from her hands.
Mom collapsed at the table and smiled at me. “It’s been such an exhausting day, honey—arrange those things in the closet, please, darling!” she shouted to her assistant.
She called all her assistants ‘darling’. It made them feel special at first, that she had given them a pet name, but the truth was that she couldn’t be bothered to remember their names.
“Anyway.” Mom smiled at me. “How was your day? I had such a lovely time.”
“I’m glad you had a good day,” I replied, walking over to kiss her cheek before sitting down across from her at the table. “I managed to get some work done remotely.”
“Well, surely you have more to say than that!” Mom laughed. “I have so many ideas about the wedding, I can’t wait to share them all with you. I was thinking, perhaps, we could really embrace the autumn theme….”
I let her prattle on, ignoring her. I’d already told Laura some of my ideas and I would let her work on those themes. By the time Mom would get her claws into the planning, it would be too late to change anything.
Mom paused talking to give me a look.
“Cade, you don’t seem excited.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “Is something wrong?”
So many things were wrong, but I couldn’t tell her that. “I’m being married off to a woman I don’t love,” I pointed out, yet again.
Mom frowned. “This isn’t like that. Della’s a sweet and beautiful woman, and you two get along well. And she’ll be able to help with your campaign when you run for office in two years, don’t forget that.”
She squeezed my hand again and let go, clapping her together. “And, of course, there’s your father’s re-election bid! We can’t possibly forget that. Della’s father is one of the most politically active people in the state and he brings quite a lot of clout with him, you know that.”
“Of course, I know that, Mom,” I replied. “I know all the reasons why you and Dad want me to marry her. But I’m not in love with her. Weren’t you in love with Dad when you married him?”
“Well of course, I was. That’s why we got married.”
“But you’re expecting me to get married for political reasons. For my career. Getting along well with someone, them being good looking, that’s not any reason to marry them.”
“But honey, you’ve never been interested in love or romance. You’ve never dated anyone, certainly not seriously. You and Della are friends, you’ll get along well together, what more could you ask for? Perhaps in time, you’ll even come to love her…who knows? It will be good for you, either way. You know, we only want what’s best for you.”
More like, what they thought was best for the person they wanted me to be.
Mom stood up. “I hope the house staff are back, ‘coz we need dinner.”
She walked off in search of the staff, and I took this opportunity to retreat to my room.
My old bedroom had a great view of the lake. I stared out as I collected my thoughts.
How did my mother not care that I wasn’t in love with my future wife? How could she be so casual about all of this? I wondered, if she hadn’t fallen for Dad, would she have found a ‘smart’ marriage instead.
Whatever be the case, my head was spinning, and my stomach churned with sorrow and frustration. I stared out the window and caught sight of the gazebo, the evening sunlight filtering through its columns and roof. The last time I’d been there had been with Laura, the final day of our retreat at the lake house, almost ten years ago.
I hadn’t told Laura yet, but I knew that I would have to break up with her. I’d gone over things in my mind again and again, and I hadn’t been able to find another solution. I was going to an Ivy League college and Dad was already talking about his political plans for me. So, if he got to know that I was dating the daughter of a negligent, single mother from the trailer park, Dad would throw a fit.
Dad had bragged to me over the years about the tough line he took with people who had crossed him, how he drove a hard bargain, how he was uncompromising about the consequences to people who deserved it. I’d experienced it as a kid many times, getting grounded every time I stepped a toe out of line.
Dad would find a way to separate Laura and I, and that’s why, I’d decided to take the task upon myself. Better me than him, so that I could do it as lovingly as possible, and so that Laura wouldn’t have to endure my father’s horrible snobbery.
As Mom and Dad had been out of town, and I’d decided to break up with her, it was worth the risk to take Laura to the lake house. I thought that if this all the time I would have had with her, then I wanted it to be special. I had wanted it to be perfect, and honestly, it had been.
That last evening, we’d been swimming in the lake again. Swimming had been my favorite sport in high school, and I’d continued it in college because Dad had said that it would look good on my application. But I enjoyed swimming that summer specially because I got to see Laura in a bathing suit. There’d been nothing sexier than seeing her in those skimpy clothes. I wondered if Laura would look the same now if she wore a bathing suit…with age, she’d only gotten more confident and her body had become even more curvy and sexy. My mouth watered at the thought.
Our last evening together at the lake house, we’d ended up having sex in the gazebo after our swim. There was something primal in me that Laura woke up, like I could finally stop worrying about being the person my parents wanted me to be and just be myself. Also, with her, I could give into those dark, sensual desires that I didn’t know I had. I wanted to chase her, to pin her down, to kiss her and make love to her until she knew she belonged only to me.
But the next day, I had to break her heart. I had to tell her that I had been accepted to an Ivy League school and that I’d be leaving—and never coming back. I had to tell her that we needed to break up, that I couldn’t see us as being a couple in the future.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t had the heart to explain to her that I did imagine us being together. But the reason we couldn’t was because my parents would never allow it. I knew that Laura was a fighter, even though she had been a quiet kid in high school. She’d kept her head down and worked hard for good grades and extra credit. She’d known that the only way to get herself out of her shitty circumstances was to work her ass off, and she’d definitely done that.
If I’d told her the truth that it was my parents who were going to keep us apart, she would have fought. As long as we love each other nothing else matters, right? I could practically hear her saying it in my head—the mantra of a thousand romance books and films. But this wasn’t fiction, it was real life. In reality, I hadn’t known how it could end in any way other than a more painful and drawn out break up.
Before I’d had to leave her, though, before I’d had to break her heart, I’d wanted to make love to her one last time. No, a hundred last times!
That night, I’d taken her from the gazebo back up to my room, to this very bed. When I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could feel her warm, soft body against mine. She’d been stunning, gorgeous, laid out naked in front of me, with nothing but trust and love in her eyes.
That night, I’d just wanted to drown in her body. Her smell. Her eyes. Her love.
I’d spent so much time kissing her that I had wondered if Laura knew something was up. She had always been happy to spend time together, to lose ourselves in each other. I felt like I had been obvious in my desperation and need for her, but maybe for Laura, this was how she felt every day.
Of course, the lake house wasn’t the first time we’d had sex, and I’d been glad for it. Our first time had been adorable and sweet, with moments of laughter as we’d figured it out. But this last time, we’d been able to make each other gasp and moan, had known each other’s bodies well enough to send
one another into ecstasy.
I’d teased her with my fingers, always wary about not hurting her and wanting her to feel good—just loving the way she would beg for me when she got desperate. My cock had been so damn hard that I’d been convinced I could pound nails with it! This was the last time we were together, and I hadn’t wanted to risk not being able to enjoy the sex, even though I had the blessed recovery period that young males have.
When I’d finally slid inside of her, Laura had been screaming my name for at least a minute. Fuck! Nothing had ever been as hot as hearing her cry out for me. She’d been with only me, and I’d wanted to ruin all other men for her, so that she never wanted to be with anyone else after me, just like I hadn’t wanted to be with anyone else after her.
I rubbed at my wrists, remembering how I’d interlocked our fingers and pressed her hands down into the bed above her head, pumping in and out of her with my cock, keeping my thrusts deep, but slow and steady. She’d been so goddamn hot and tight—perfect for me. The whimpers that had escaped her mouth when I’d twisted my hips just so…were beyond enticing.
When I’d come the first time, I’d squeezed her hands, and she’d squeezed back, kissing along my jaw and whispering my name. I’d never come so hard in my life, bested only by when I came again an hour later. After I’d recovered from coming the first time, I turned her over and fucked her so hard that I felt like we’d dug a hole through the mattress.
Of course, looking back, we had been young. I could only imagine what it would be like to fuck her now, with us being older and more experienced, ready to rock each other’s worlds in a way that we could have only dreamed of as two eighteen-year-old virgins.
Despite our lack of sexual experience, it had been fucking amazing. I’d whispered endearments into her ear, telling her how beautiful and amazing she was and how much she inspired me—because it had been true. I hadn’t been able to tell her that I loved her. Who told someone they loved them and then broke up with them the next day? And if she thought I didn’t love her back, then she would accept me breaking her heart and leaving her.
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 5