I crouched down in front of her and took her hands. “Della, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, you’re so kind, I just…” Della used the tissue to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry, I haven’t cried this whole time, I don’t think I realized I needed to cry…the more questions you ask the more lost I feel. I haven’t thought about this wedding at all.”
“You’ve been busy, I’m sure,” I said
Della shook her head. “It’s not that. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump all of this on you.”
“Well, I am your wedding planner,” I pointed out. “If something is wrong and you need something to change with the wedding, then I’m the person you hired to do that.”
“But what if you don’t want to get married at all?” Della asked me.
I had no answer for that. “Do you want some water?”
Della shook her head. “No, no, I’m just…I’m sorry that I’m so upset. It’s just all feeling so real now.” She paused and looked at me. “Have you ever been in a situation where you’re theoretically able to handle it, and you think that it’s going to be fine, but then as you actually experience it you realize that you can’t handle it after all? Like going on a rollercoaster and only realizing once you’re about to drop that you don’t want to be on there after all.”
I nodded. “We’ve all been in situations like that,” I assured her.
That wasn’t exactly fair. I had never been in the situation that Della and Cade currently found themselves to be in.
“I’ve dealt with plenty of other brides who felt overwhelmed,” I promised. “And sometimes they felt like they weren’t ready to get married, as they’d thought earlier. But it’s just the stress getting to you. You need to take some deep breaths and take a break and then you can get back at it.”
Della shook her head. “Were the other brides you worked with marrying someone they didn’t love?”
Oh boy! I had no idea what to say to her. Especially given my personal stake in the entire thing. I felt guilty that Della was telling me all this when she had no idea that I had feelings for her fiancé.
Before I could say anything at all, Della kept going.
“I like Cade, it’s not that I don’t like him!” she blurted out. “He’s a lovely man. Truly. I consider him to be a good friend of mine. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be in love with him, I know that a bunch of women were so jealous when we got together. I understand how wonderful he is. I don’t want you to think that he’s a bad person, because he certainly isn’t. I just don’t want to marry him. I’m not in love with him.
“And…oh, this is going to sound so awful and arrogant, but I thought…I’m rich, and so how am I ever going to know if my boyfriend isn’t a gold digger? And how will I ever get to achieve my political dreams if I don’t marry someone who comes from a good political family? And—well, I’m sure you know this, you’re beautiful—it’s so hard when you’re pretty because men will want you just for sex and you can’t tell until it’s too late. And so I thought, well, if I can’t trust whomever I date, then I might as well date someone I know isn’t interested in me, but will treat me well and can help me achieve my political dreams.”
Della offered me a small smile. “I know it might seem naïve of me. But I do want to change things for the better. I want to keep pushing for the things that I care about. And I’d like to get all the way, as far as I can. I don’t think you can get far in politics without at least a little ambition, and I have that. I want to get into the White House. And I thought that this was worth it, that I could make this sacrifice. Why wouldn’t I marry the man I consider a close friend or even a brother? Why wouldn’t I marry the man I can trust and know will make a good team?
“But now it’s actually happening and it’s all real, and I haven’t thought about it at all and it’s coming on so fast and I feel like half the time I can’t even breathe…. And I wonder if the White House is even worth this. I wonder whether I’m going to keep having panic attacks like this, whether being married to a man I don’t love will really be worth it after all, whether we’re both going to be miserable forever and whether or not I’m making a huge mistake…”
Della burst into a fresh round of tears and I stroked her hair comfortingly. That always helped Drew when he was upset. “Just cry it out, Della, that’s good. Getting your emotions out is always good.”
I didn’t know what else to say. My mind was reeling.
“You know, I gave up on the idea of love,” she sniffled, once she’d finally gotten control of herself. “I gave up on the idea that…that someone could truly love me for me, and not for my body or my wealth or my connections. But now I wonder—was I wrong? What if I’m wrong? And now I’m throwing away my one chance to be happy by marrying someone that I don’t love, because you can’t really go back from this easily, and….”
Della started hiccupping and I got her some water. She gave me a grateful look as she drank from the paper cup.
“Go slowly and take deep breaths,” I advised her. “I know that it’s a lot to get out.”
“I just don’t want to regret this choice,” Della whispered.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. “Now, take my advice with a grain of salt since I don’t know you that well. I don’t know your family. But I just want to remind you that you don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. You can call it off, right now.”
Della shook her head and gave a soft, rueful laugh. “You don’t know what our families are like. They’ll be so disappointed. Including Cade.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “If you and Cade don’t love each other like that, then Cade would probably be just as relieved as you are.”
“But what about our parents?” Della sighed and rubbed at her forehead. “They’ve put so many expectations on us. Especially Cade.”
“Just because someone gives birth to you doesn’t mean you owe them your life. I’m sure that at the end of the day your parents only want what’s best for both of you, and if this marriage is going to make the two of you truly unhappy, then you shouldn’t go through with it. It’s better to risk disappointing them now than being miserable and everyone living with that regret.”
Della threw away her soiled tissues in my trash can and cleaned herself up. Then, to my shock, she got up and hugged me tightly.
I stiffened in surprise, then hugged her back. Della clearly needed the comfort, clinging as she was to me, so I rubbed her back and soothed her.
“Thank you,” she said, finally pulling back but keeping her arms around me. “I think I just needed someone to tell me that. I haven’t really confided in anybody this whole time. I was scared, I think, that I would be told that I had to go through with it and that I was ridiculous for not being in love with Cade or not making our families happy. Cade even gave me an out the other day, suggested that I didn’t have to do this, and I didn’t take it. I was too scared and worried about letting people down.”
“But the more we plan and the more we do this, the worse it feels. The worse I feel. So, thank you, for giving me permission to feel this way. Thank you so much.”
Cade re-entered the room, stopping in his tracks when he saw Della hugging me, her eyes puffy and her cheeks pink. “Is…everything okay?”
Della pulled away from me and turned to face Cade. “The wedding is off!” she announced.
“It’s…what?” Cade sounded completely baffled.
Della smiled in relief. “I care about you, Cade, you know I do. You’re a good friend to me and we’ve made a good team. But I’m not in love with you and you’re not in love with me. We shouldn’t go through with this. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but I think it’s time we thought about our own happiness for once, instead of just doing what our families want for us.”
She turned back to me and hugged me. “Thank you again, you’re a wonderful person.”
Then Della walked out of the office.
C
ade stared at the doorway, then at me, then back at the door. He was completely stumped. “I’m…uh…what did you do?”
I shrugged. “I gave her advice. She was crying and miserable, Cade, I couldn’t possibly lie and say that I thought she should go through with this. I told her that if she wasn’t in love with you that she shouldn’t do this. That she shouldn’t live her life in a way that made others happy. She should do what made her happy. And…I guess, I gave her the push she needed.”
Cade looked back in the direction from which Della had left. I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for ruining your wedding. I just couldn’t lie to her and give her bad advice.”
Cade turned to look at me. His hand slid over mine, where it rested on his arm, and he squeezed it gently. My breath stopped. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be in touch once I figure out what’s going on.”
He smiled at me, released my hand, and left, leaving me wondering just how much of a mess I’d just made.
15
Cade
All hell was breaking loose at the lake house.
Turned out, Della had called her father right after leaving Laura’s office and told him that the wedding was off. Then her father had called my father, and neither man was pleased with his child.
Dad pounced on me the moment I reached the house. “What the hell is wrong with you? How did you screw this up? I can’t believe after everything I’ve told you, after all that we’ve planned—”
“I didn’t do anything,” I said, trying to keep myself calm. “We were discussing music options for the reception. I had to take a phone call, so I left the room. When I came back, Della had called off the marriage.”
“Maybe the wedding planner sabotaged you,” Mom chimed in.
I glared at her. “You’re being ridiculous. How could one person that Della doesn’t even know convince her to call off the wedding in less than two minutes?”
Also, Laura would never do something like that, I added mentally. I couldn’t say that, or my mother would have questions that I couldn’t answer, but still, I felt it in my heart.
“What’s more likely?” I demanded. “That the wedding planner, who has her career riding on this wedding, convinced Della not to go through with said wedding? Or that Della already didn’t want to go through with this farce of a relationship any longer?”
“A farce!” Dad roared. “How could you have blown this so badly? You need to be married, preferably with a child on the way, when your campaign begins. Voters want a family man. And Della’s connections—how are we going to find anyone with half the clout?”
“Wow!” Anger flared up in me. “I knew you were a heartless bastard, but I never knew that you would be this bad. Don’t you ever talk about Della like she’s a cow to be bought and sold! I’m not in love with her, I never have been, but she’s a good woman, an amazing woman, and she deserves better than you talking trash about her. And saying that I should get her pregnant for my campaign? What the hell? That’s not the reason you have kids. Are relationships and parenthood all just a game to you? We’re not pawns or objects, we’re actual people. And if Della doesn’t want to marry me, then I’m not going to make her do it!”
“You need to convince her!”
“Why?” I demanded. “So that she can be unhappy marrying a man she doesn’t love? Hell, no! This was a bad idea from the beginning.”
Dad started to argue, but I cut him off. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but you’ll get over it. I’m going to give you the space to do that.”
It was the only way to really win an argument with my father—to cut him off at the knees and leave, refuse to play or engage any further.
I headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Mom demanded.
“Doesn’t matter. I’ll be back later, not to worry. Just giving you two time to calm down.” I kept my voice measured and then left. I didn’t want them to use the “acting hysterical” excuse to badger me further.
Once I left the house, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. It was like I could actually take a full, solid breath in. At last, after all this nonsense…I was free again.
I was free. I wasn’t in a relationship with Della anymore.
My mind flew to Laura. I could have her. I was free to pursue her.
My heart raced as I got into my car and headed back into town. Would she even want to see me? Sure, we had had some steamy moments, but did that mean she really wanted to spend time with me? She’d sounded hurt that one time, saying that what we’d had was just a fling and reminding me of the hurtful words I’d used against her ten years ago. She still didn’t know the full story. Would she be willing to hear the truth now?
I called her, and she answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Laura.” My cock twitched at the sound of her voice. I could finally have her, no reason to hold back. I had to keep my thoughts straight or I’d crash the damn car from being too turned on. “I was wondering if you’d like to meet me for a drink?”
There was a long pause, then Laura said, hesitantly, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“It’s the least I can do to thank you. I owe you for this one.”
“I wasn’t trying to do anything, Cade, you have to believe me—”
“Laura. I know. I know that. And I’m happy. Seriously, I’m happy. I’m glad this has been called off. Della had the guts to do what I should’ve long ago. I want to celebrate, and I want to celebrate with you. Will you meet me for a drink?”
There was another long pause, and I was sure she’d say no, but when Laura finally spoke, she said, “I’ll meet you at the Boar’s Tavern in twenty minutes.”
“Meet you there.”
I rushed to the pub. It was one of those places that styled itself after the pubs and taverns in Europe, rather than a more classic American bar style. It had a small stage in the back for karaoke and a live band would play there sometimes—looked like a band was setting up right now, actually—and an empty area for dancing that also served as a solid divider between the booths and low tables that spread out along one side and the bar top with its tall stools on the other.
The fact that I didn’t see Laura was unsurprising. I’d rushed here for sure. I found us a booth that wasn’t right by the door but also not too close to the band, so we wouldn’t have to shout to be heard over the music. I ordered two waters because I needed something refreshing after the rollercoaster that had been the last hour or so of my life. I was sure that Laura would want something cool as well.
Laura walked in about five minutes later, looking stunning as usual. She was wearing the same outfit as before, a curve-hugging, long-sleeved shirt that exposed her shoulders, the extra fabric folded along it giving the impression of a scarf, and her delicious pencil skirt from the other day.
Seeing her in it earlier today had been difficult for my poor dick, but seeing her now…knowing that I could actually make a move, knowing that I might actually be able to have her…I felt like I was about to start drooling.
God, I wanted to just take her into my arms and kiss her senseless. Maybe meeting in a public place was a bad idea, given how badly I wanted to take her and claim her. To remind her of just how good I could make her feel and prove to her that she belonged with me.
I wrestled with myself to put my thoughts under control as Laura approached me. “Hi.” She sounded almost shy as she sat down.
Our server came up, we ordered food, and then Laura asked, “How did things go?”
“They could have gone better,” I acknowledged. Laura winced. “But they also could have gone worse. They weren’t exactly thrilled….”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I took her hand. “It was a good thing, and my parents will figure that out eventually. Even if they don’t, that’s their problem, not mine nor Della’s. You’re right. They can’t use me like I’m an object. They can’t use me to live their own lives through me. I’m my own person. I�
��m glad that Della found her courage. I just wish I’d found mine sooner. Thank you.”
I released her hand and raised my glass. “To doing what makes us happy.”
Laura gave me an odd look, but raised her glass too, and she smiled as she echoed my toast.
Things were definitely looking up.
16
Laura
I liked this Cade. This was the Cade I’d fallen for all those years ago. He was carefree and smiling, and more confident. This was the Cade that I remembered. I could clearly see that a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Honestly, this felt just like all the dates we hadn’t gotten to have when we were teenagers. All our friends got to go out to local diners and restaurants, find the places that played music. We didn’t. We only went to places where nobody would find us or knew us. Now, just being in the open like this…it was so close to what I had wanted all those years ago.
Cade asked me questions about the event planning business, obviously wanting to stop talking about his family. I narrated a few funny stories and told him about Caitlyn and some of her misadventures. I was careful to avoid any mention of Drew. Although Drew was a subject that I could talk about for hours, to mention him would lead to Cade asking me about the father and….
I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t.
Cade laughed at my stories and said that he was grateful to Caitlyn. “It sounds like you really needed a friend. I know that you didn’t really have any in high school. I’m glad that you found one.”
He told me stories about his own best friend, Gray, and his exploits. “He’s the millionaire playboy type,” he explained.
“Isn’t it genius millionaire playboy philanthropist?” I pointed out, teasing.
“Yeah, but Gray’s the farthest thing from a genius you can get,” Cade replied, also teasing. “He did give me good advice about ending this whole thing with my parents though. I should’ve listened to him.”
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 11